Head Banging and Screaming

She's the normal age to start tantrums, and head banging is super common, it's extremely unlikely to be a disorder since she does it to get things. Like pears. Yes, it's a phase.
It will continue as long as you let it-months, years, and may get much worse. You should teach her not to throw tantrums. Let me know if you're interested-it does involve discipline and 10 1/2 months is not too young. She's progressed to this from lesser tantrums based on anger for not getting her way, so she is learning to control you.

The advice here is very appropriate for a 10 month old so I will not repeat it. However I do want to sound a note of caution. If, after ignoring, saying "yes" more than "no", talking, etc, your daughter continues the behavior, if it increases, if it happens at times when she is not reacting to not getting her way, or if it gets worse, talk to your doctor and to the Early Intervention group in your county. Head banging is a Spectrum Disorder sign so an evaluation may be needed. If her language skills seem to be lagging behind, get her tested. The combination of these two can be indicators of a spectrum disorder. If the testing comes back negative, at least you have covered all of the bases.

My daughter was a head-banger too. It started around a year old. By the time she was two, she was really whacking her head, she was also screaming all of the time. Her language skills were still within range, just late. I kept asking my doctor but she ignored the early signs. I wish I had her tested earlier but she is making great progress now. (She is NOT autistic. She has sensory processing disorder and pervasive developmental delay.) Keep track of her development and when she head bangs/screams so you can see if there is a pattern.

Good luck.

How often does she do this? How often are you finding that you are saying 'no' to her, and in what contexts besides the pears?

I think before ignoring her behaviour I might first of all start looking more into why she is doing it, how often etc. I don't tend to think that babies do things for no reason, and since they can't 'tell' us with words that something is wrong, their behavior is the only thing they've got. Ignoring them kinda seems like it should be more of a last resort to me.

If it were me, I'd start to wonder if the 'yes' to 'no' ratio was as it should be. In other words, I try to say 'yes' more often than I say 'no' to a young child or baby, so that they are rewarded for 'seeking' behavior and learn that they have a certain say in their own environment, certain control over what they do etc. I try to not even say 'no' much, unless its absolutely necessary - wherever possible choosing something like: 'oh look, we're out of pears' in a cheerful voice - wow, you've eaten a heck of a lot of those pears, haven't you, what a good eater you are!! What a clever girl. Etc., etc.

Could your daughter be a bit bored at all?

A lot of what babies of this age tend to do is try and learn by doing - making messes, finding out what things feel, sound and taste like etc... They don't tend to have any hidden agendas, and they don't have any ability to manipulate. They also have very little impulse control.

I personally feel that there is a lot of pressure around these days to keep baby clean all the time, keep the house clean etc., etc., which sometimes can result in us saying 'no' more to their innocent seeking behaviors designed to teach them more about their world (which often seems very weird and wonderful I'm sure). This is something they find extremely frustrating, especially if they can't yet communicate, and/or if they are a bit bored.

In that regard, the suggestion about sign language is an excellent one - if she can tell you whether she'd prefer apples or bananas etc, then she may feel a bit less frustrated.

Good luck!

If she is not hurting herself with the head banging, as seems to be the case, maybe just walking away and ignoring this behavior would be an appropriate response? It may decrease once she sees that she does not get any attention for it.

If she's not hurting herself, I would simply ignore it. Responding by caving in rewards the activity. Responding by addressing the head banging or screaching rewards the activity. . . ignoring it means you act as if it isn't happening. . . and she'll look for a more effective method of parent-control. And as she gets older, you can TALK to/with her. I'm sorry we don't have pears. Would you like to buy more pears when we go to the store? Let's put it on our shopping list ! :-)

I'm sure it's been said, but don't respond to her. As long as she isn't hurting herself, just walk away. She'll stop, look around, realize you aren't there, and go about her business.

She's only doing it because you freak out. My kids always do this to my husband - they don't bother with me because there is no response from this corner!

Just remember - if she figures out what pushes your buttons, she will keep doing it.

Good luck!

it's just a phase. from what you've described, it sounds like she's really not hurting herself. my son used to do the same thing & still does on occasion (he's 2 1/2). apparently my dad used to do it when he was a kid & would do it in the center of the room on the hardwood so he could get the most attention. that's the hard part - trying to ignore her. remember, even negative attention is attention. try reading something (or wash dishes, make lunches) - anything to distract you, yet still let you be in the same room with her to make sure she's ok and quickly move her on to another activity when she's done.

My son did the same thing... and I was soooo freaked out every time... I have to say I probably cried sometimes when he did it.
Anyway, I think I wrote in to "MS" about it too.. and everyone said that once he did it on something hard, he would stop... ALSO... he used to control it too, just like your DD, and anyway, once he hit his head (on purpose of course) on the cement and it did hurt... and after that he stopped.
I KNOW he would hit his head because it got such a rise out of me... always when he was mad because he wasn't getting his way.
I know it is so upsetting, but if you can, try not to worry about it, and try not to give her a lot of attention about it.
When he would start to bang his head, and granted, it was hard to stop myself... but I stopped getting emotional and saying "Oh my gosh, don't do that!" It was hard to stop myself, but once I did it all sort of evaporated in time.
Good luck. I know it totally sucks. It's so freaky. We spend all this time protecting them and teaching them to love themselves, and then they go and hurt themselves on purpose.
It's just because they can't talk yet, and it's their way of communicating that they really don't like our decisions sometimes. Or that we are out of pears :-) lol! Take care :-) M.

Where I work, I have seen children come in with prescriptions for a soft protective helmet for this, there's a diagnosis for it and some insurances have covered it!!

There is nothing you can do about this. As she does not seem to be injuring herself, I would completely ignore the behavior. She is probably frustrated because her language skills have not caught up to what her brain knows she wants and she cannot tell you. I would also try not to "give in" to the behavior and start offering things. You might teach her to do it more if she gets what she wants. Just walk away. Look into sign language as a method of communication for her. Signs like "more," "done," can be very helpful to a young child.