My 17 month old son bangs his head when ever he gets upset. There are times that he hits it so hard I cringe in pain myself, but so far he hasn't really hurt himself, just a couple of bruises. But we are really concerned that he will get seriously hurt. We have hard wood floors through out our house, so there' no padding. I've tried ignoring him when he gets upset, but it didn't stop. We've tried holding him, but he just stiffens up and arches his back (sometimes actually propelling himself out of our arms). I realize that this is probably just a phase, but I don't know how many more blows to the head we can take.
My son did a similar thing and I ended up taking him to a homeopath who knew the symptom and had a remedy for him. My son is 17 now, so I forget all the details- but I recommend seeing a homeopath!
C.
My kids all had that stage...They did grow out of it.I would say unless he seriously injuries himself don't do anything...this is his way of dealing with whatever has caused him stress(like some kids hit or bite,your child bounces his head off the wall)
I know there are times when i get stress out i'll lean up against the wall and hit my forehead a few times off the wall...have you done this maybe he seen someone doing it and picked up on it.
If it gets really bad than i say talk to his dr but right now i think it's just a stage
Hi, S.!
Disregard this if you don't believe in spanking, which I see may be the case when you say you've tried holding and ignoring him when he gets upset. As a matter of safety, I'm throwing this out for you anyway. I am a mother of two from a family where 7-10 kids is the average.
Head banging is a form of tantrum throwing, and tantrums are the normal search for boundaries from a 17 month old. If you teach him right away in a firm calm manner that he is not allowed to do this, he can easily learn. When a tantrum very first begins, get down eye level with him and calmly say to stop crying or banging his head. When he doesn't, firmly plant a swat on his lower thigh below the diaper. Not hard enough to hurt him badly, and not in anger, just enough for him to register it. The first time or few times, this will cause more crying. But with consistence, he will learn that he never gets away with tantrums and it will stop. My daughter tried her first tantrums when she was 13 months old. It took her only two swats! She is now almost two and never has tantrums at home or in public, because she knows it's not allowed. A reminder that she can't do that and not giving her what she wants at the time is all it takes now. It wasn't traumatic at all training her this way for her or for us. It will take longer if a child is used to being "waited out" for tantrums, but hardly ever more than three days for them to realize they will not be allowed to do it anymore.
Some people think spanking is cruel, but some people think it is cruel to let a child work themselves into frenzies and possibly hurt themselves-it depends on who you ask. None of my friends have been able to stop the tantrums by ignoring them or holding them, they just live with them and it is a great source of stress on the whole family. Good luck, whatever you do!
My son did the same thing at that age and we were also told to ignore it. Everyone said it's a phase; it'll pass. It did - but it took over a year! In the meantime, whenever he started the head banging, I'd move him to a carpeted floor and say "Have your tantrum here; come out when you're done." He'd scream and bang for a bit, then come out of the room when he was a little calmer. This didn't prevent or stop the banging, but at least it was a little safer.
As for the bruises, they'll heal. (I let his bangs grow a little longer to try and cover the lump on his forehead!) Somewhere I saw a catalog that sells helmets for this sort of thing - don't know how practical it is, but perhaps it's an option.
Hang in there. It'll pass. Eventually.
My son is almost 17 mos. and he's been doing the same thing for a few months now. It has definitely lessened since he started, but it's just his way of venting his frustration. I agree with the other moms. Don't worry too much unless he does hurt himself, but when my son starts doing that, I do let him know that that's not right to do that.
Good luck!
Hi,
Check out "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child" by Burton L White for insights into the emotional development at various stage and strategies for dealing with it. My son didn't bang his own head, but he really hit others hard. It took a lot of work to break his behavior, but it worked, and he is now just angelic--and he's over 2!
I sear by Burton Whites--hope you have good luck with it.
R.
S.,
Alot of kids do head banging as a way to show frustration/anger. BUT I'm going to be the odd person here who says something in addition to that basic rule.
My now four year old began head banging at about your child's age and it was a sign of Sensory Processing Disorder and a Yeast Overgrowth in his gut.
A few questions...has your 17 month old been on antibiotics frequently or for an extended period of time during his life? Does he crave sugar filled foods or ask for them more than you would anticipate a toddler normally asking for it? Does he get a nasty and persistant "diaper" rash at all? One that is resistant to to basic diaper creams? Is he highly emotionally reactive? So he can go from being a happy child to outright raging or coming completely unglued?
A child with a yeasy overgrowth in his gut often bangs his head out of stomach discomfort. ack..I'd like to continue but my four kids just came in! Reach me at ____@____.com if you want to chat more!
Get him a helmet. Tell him, if he is going to do that, he has to wear it.
Hi S.,
Personally and professionally, I would recommend you do nothing. 17 month old children can get very creative about making their needs known. How you react could play a big role in how long it goes on. If your floors are hard wood, I would let him bang away...when it hurts, he will stop. Make sure you are really intune to his needs and triggers, if you can divert his attention before he gets to that point your (and he) are better off.
Good luck!
Terri
I have a six year old daughter and a 22 month old son. My daughter used to bang her head at around 2 years old. I was concerned because at the time she was in daycare and everyday she was going to school with a bruise on her head. Anyway, at her 2 year check up I asked her doctor about it and he indicated that at that age they do not know how to express their frustration, it was just a phase and we should ignore it so as to not give her attention for bad behavior it would eventually stop. Although it was difficult to continue to ignore we did. One day at my sister-in-laws house my daughter got angry and decided to bang her head. Only this time it was not on our wood floor but on a ceramic floor. This time my daughter hurt herself more so than at home and after that she finally stopped. My son has now started doing the same thing although he is cathching on that he is hurting himself and not getting any sympathy from me or my husband he will still do it on occasion. I know it is not a solution but you are just going to have to ignore it, he will stop.
