Four Yr Old Will Not Get up in the Morning

Hi C.,

Dr. Katharine Leslie is a parent educator who assists parents with children with behavioral symptoms.

Write her and see what she suggests.

____@____.com

Good luck. Hope she can help. D.

If a child won't get up in the morning, then the child needs to go to bed earlier. I'd back that bedtime up a half an hour each night until he got up without an issue. My children went to bed at 7pm for years - until my oldest hit 5th grade. (He's now in high school and is in bed at 9.)
Clothes should be set out the night before. Give two choices before he goes to bed. The one he chooses is the one he wears the next day.
No TV in the morning. Just music. Keep it calm.
If the parent gets frazzled, then so does the kid. If mom feeds into his frenzy and gets upset, then the whole thing spirals out of control. Basically, you need to be no nonsense and extremely consistent in the morning.
Turn it into a positive:
Make a list of chores and hang them on the wall. Get up. Get dressed. Make bed. Eat. Brush teeth. Shoes. Car.
If he does each item without complaint, he gets a sticker. If he has x number of stickers, he gets a prize. (Something small like an extra 1/2 hour of tv on Friday or something.)

YMMV
LBC

I read some of the other advice and I do not necessarily think there is a problem at school. He may jsut enjoy home more than school.

My daughter was doing this too about 2 months ago. It was the same thing, she'd be fine on weekends, up early to play. She is 6 years old.

So I started a reward chart. We keep it in the bathroom, taped on the wall. If she can do all 4 things (get up, brush teeth, get dressed, and make bed) pictured at the bottom of the chart without fighting, she gets a sticker. If she gets a sticker every morning, she gets to pick from the list of rewards for Saturday.

We also do it for getting ready for bed at night (including staying in her bed). She is no longer a problem for going to bed or getting up. If she does start to lollygag, I tell her shes not going to get a sticker and she usually goes right to what shes supposed to be doing.

Now as far as her popping right out of bed in the morning when I get up- that usually doesnt happen. I wake up and give her 10 more minutes to lay there. I figure that I am in my room hitting "snooze" a couple times so she deserves the same slowness in waking up. I will get up and take her my cell phone which is set for 10 minutes before the alarm goes off. When it does start beeping, she walks into the bathroom and her day is started :) She doesnt know how to turn it off and she doesnt like listening to it so its not like shes hitting snooze and continuing her sleep. It works out wonderfully.

Actually with her going to bed and wanting to pop out of bed all the time, I started putting her to bed at 9 instead of 8. It has been great ever since. I didnt realize that she had outgrown her bedtime. Now she goes right to sleep when I put her to bed instead of getting up over and over for the next hour anyway.

Good luck :)

When my oldest child was about your nephew's age, a friend gave me a children's alarm clock. My daughter was excited about this new device. She had always been difficult to wake for school in the mornings. So, we decided to try the clock. We set it together, picked out clothes for the next day that she could put on when she got up and then went to bed. Surprisingly, she woke at the alarm, got dressed and arrived for breakfast happy and on-time. We've rarely had another problem related to mornings. I've followed through on this tactic with each of my three children. It has worked like a charm. It gives them a little independence and the opportunity to "plan" their own morning. One likes to wake up a little early and have some time for reading, playing or TV. One prefers to sleep until the latest possible minute, and the other varies her routine according to what is happening in her life. We have set bedtimes and include setting the clock in our nightly routine.

Large department stores have all sorts of alarm clocks modelled after popular cartoon and pop culture characters. Letting your nephew choose his own clock and be a part of the morning plan might just do the trick.

I might also suggest talking with him about school. Perhaps there is a problem with another child or something else that is making him unhappy.

Good luck to your sister with this frustration! Hope she finds something that works soon.

Your sister could be adding to the difficulty. Check and see if he picks out his own clothes and breakfast. maybe he is having a problem in school.

As for the twins, it gets easier after 3 months. I have a set that just turned one, still breastfeeding and loving the twins.

Since he is not waking up for school, I would assume it is a problem with going to school. Maybe she should ask him about school, and anything he might not like about school. You never know, maybe some kids are being mean, or he doesnt like his teacher, or just the school work. I would definately look into that.

try an earlier bedtime- My son's(5) bedtime has been 8pm for the longest time. Try earlier if need be. Although with summer fast approaching, I might just let him sleep in and naturally work out an earlier 'get up' time as time goes by- Lord Knows that I just ENJOY any quiet time I get early in the moring when he sleeps in a bit- like today! Always happens on rainy morings.

Welcome to my world, we put our daughters to bed at 8:15 and get my 5 yr old up at 6:45am she gets on the bus at 7:25. I fight her every morning,there has been mornings I've just left her in bed and when she got up I tookher to school. she's had me in tears, I can't stand fighting her. 2 weeks ago I was at the Dollar Store and found reward stickers that I thought would be great for my 3yr old who has been potty trained for over a year but still wetting the bed. So I thought I'd try one for my 5 yr old, so I made a chart for both girls and hung them in their bedrooms. When I get the 5yr old up I remind her of her sitckers to but on her chart, it's been going pretty good,if your sister is any thing like I was she will try anything. Just make a big deal out of the chart and stickers. It's working for me. Good Luck.

He's going to bed to late. I wouldn't even say anything to him i would put him to bed 1/2 hr earlier right away. If it doesn't work after a few days i would move it up another 1/2 hr. My daughter goes to bed at 7:30pm but my sister has a son who goes to bed at 6:30pm so he might just need more sleep. He prob. gets up better during the weekend because he's motivated, he knows he's not going to school. He's prob. not doing it on purpose he just wakes up and knows he's. not going.

My mother told me 99% of children's prob. getting up is because of improper bedtimes. I would never give a child an alarm. I would rather not have one myself and would not suggest giving a child one. If they don't wake up on their own they need more sleep and if they need more i would rather give sleep.

When my six year old was 2-3, she had this problem. We solved it by actually waking her up earlier. We started her day 15 minutes earlier and told her to stay in bed for a little while and have a big stretch, read a book and do whatever else she needed to do to "get her grumpies out," as long as she didn't wake up her sister. Then, once grumpy time was over, it was time to get up, smile, and have a happy day. Hope this helps!