Help Me Get My Son Moving in the Morning!

My daughter is only 9-months old so, I'm not speaking from first-hand parental experience. But, you might try this: for every minute he makes you behind, make him go to bed that much earlier - telling him that since he can't get moving in the morning it must be because he's not getting enough sleep at night so, you're going to help him out and put him to bed earlier. If for one week straight he can keep you from being late, then you can move his bedtim back to the old time. I find in my second-hand experience, children really value staying up late and I think it should be viewed as a reward. And, even if you're little guy doens't go to sleep straight away, at least he'll have something to think about while he's laying in bed. Good luck!!

I have told my kids if they are having a hard time getting up in the morning, they will have to go to bed earlier that night. They didn't believe me and when bed time hit 8:30 instead of 10 - they quit complaining and started to get up. Good Luck!!

I have 2 suggestions. First, tell him if he is too tired to get himself ready in the morning then he must need more sleep and will have to go to bed earlier in the evening. Every morning he gives you a hard time, take 15 minutes away from his bed time. This worked very well for me. Kids love to stay up at night. This gives him the opportunity to make the decision for himself to get moving in the morning.

Second, tell him if he isn't ready to go on time he will just have to go as is. I work for a local elementary school and I have heard teachers talk about how proud they were when a parent brought their child in to school wearing his pajamas because he wouldn't get moving in the morning. It only took once.

Good luck

That's a tough one. You've gotten a lot of good advice already like moving the bed time back. He's 7 so he understands consequences. Send him to school in his pajamas. You are doing all the right things but there is no final consequence for him. You are done hounding him. He knows what he's supposed to do. Give him reminders and when it's time, set him out in whatever state he is in.

It worked wonders for mine. He didn't think I'd do it. He woke up very fast and got dressed in 5 minutes to run out to the bus stop.

The earlier bedtime is what worked for us. Plus, I would get my son up first and let him lay there for a few minutes and then get him up again when I got out of the shower. That seemed to help him, it gave him some (wake up) time. You could also try getting up 15 min early yourself and getting completely ready and then you would have more time to spend helping him, maybe he misses you.

Was this happening before school started or only after it started? There may be a bully situation going on, or he may be really stressed out. If it was happening before school started, then consider if there is anything particularly stressful going on, but if it has always been this way and he isn't like this except for in the morning, then he is just having a lack of sleep. I recently read that teenagers need 13 hours of sleep and that most teenagers are sleep deprived, I can't imagine that 7 yr olds need that much less.

Good Morning,

He sounds as if he's not a morning person. My 9 y/o has been doing the same thing since Kindergarten, and he is a grumpy mess. I find that putting him to bed earlier is the best solution but since I work full time sometimes errands run in to that early bedtime solution. I try adjusting my schedule so I can be home early, but if my husband is there I will let him put the kids to bed and then run my errand.

I take away priveleges, this seems to work with almost everything. Considering some of the other issues he has the TV solution does not sound practical. In my family it is more of a distraction and does not aid in him getting dressed because now he wants to sit and watch his favorite show.

I can sort of sympathize with him because I am not a early rising person either, I am not grumpy, but I don't like to get out of the bed. But as we grow we learn to do what we have to do. (I love the "school in P.J.'s suggestion...I may have to try that one)

Best Wishes.

This may sound harsh but I know friends of mine that have done this and they never had the issue again.

Pick up your child, place him in the car and drop him off to school in his pj's.

Good Luck!

I have the same problem with my 7 yr old daughter, she is not a morning person at all, never has been since birth. I even had to switch my time to be at work last year to 1/2 hr later, because I never knew how she was going to wake up in the morning. My son who is 11 has to be at school at 7:30am he was never on time last school year even though he was ready and waiting. We both had to rearrange our schedules for her which in my opinion was very selfish on her part because she was never late for anything. Her school does not start until 8:20am so us running late did not affect her.

I said all that to say I made her start getting her clothes out the night before, everything (underwear, shoes, socks, uniform). So there would not have to be any time spent making decisions in the morning. I also had to sit her down like you did with your son and explain to her that her behavior is affecting the rest of us and she had to get it together. I also have to sit in there while she gets dressed or she will not do it. So I get up 1/2 hr earlier and get myself completely dressed and ready so when they get up I am not in the way. I can just sit there and tell her to hurry up. She has been doing this to us for years, but this year she is moving and it seems to be getting better. I can adjust my work shift back and my son has been getting to school on time. I have to go to 2 different schools in the mornings and get to work, so I feel your anguish.

DS is the exact same way, yesterday was his first day of school and it was terrible! Last night I put him to bed at 8 instead of 9, and set his alarm. He woke up very plesantly this morning, it was a very nice change!

My youngest daughter is the same way - no matter how much sleep she gets. She can even wake up naturally on her own and still needs about 30 minutes of sitting around time before she is ready to move. She's 3, so she still takes naps and it's the same way - she needs to cuddle for about 30 minutes or else she whines and cries. You may need to wake him up earlier than the other children, just so he has time to wake up and get moving. If you're waking him up 30 minutes after you get up, try waking him up when you get up. Move him to the living room to watch a little TV and then when you wake up the rest of the kids tell him he needs to start getting ready. You may even give him his clothes to put on while he is watching TV. You may want to adjust his bed time accordingly, but just because you send him to bed doesn't mean he is going to go to sleep either. Good luck, I know it's not easy!!

K.,

I see that you have gotten alot of wonderful advice the the most awesomes moms out there but heres another view on the story. My DS now 16 almost 17 had the same issue, we tried earlier bed times ( he was in bed at one time by 6 p.m. ) and alarm clock in his room ( he would sleep through it or cover his head ) taking away priveleges ( said he didn't care ) we were at our wits end. Finally mentioned it to hid doctor turns out my DS had a vitamin deficency, he was lacking vitamins d, b12,b6, and c. We changed his diet and started on supplements and what a world of difference that has made in our lives. I would mention it to his doctor and see if maybe he can run a panel of blood work to rule out any underlying causes, and if that turns out fine, then as suggested take him to school in his PJ's Just let us know how that worked OK??

E.

Lol, my daughter's a Taurus and is VERY much the same. Oh, she'll get out of bed, but getting her to do *anything* else -THAT's the challenge! I love my stubborn little bull, but some mornings she makes me feel like beating my head agains a wall!

We have managed some level of success with her by trying to be cheerfully matter of fact (saying things in a cheery voice like "Okay Sweetie, we need to hurry up if we are going to get to school on time :)" or "time to get up and have a big bowl of __(favorite cereal)__!" or "we have 5 minutes until we have to leave and you're STILL not dressed? I bet you can still do it though, let's see you go get dressed using your super-hero powers of speed!" (trying to sound encouraging and enthusiastic- which I'm sure you'll identify as being difficult to muster when you feel like pulling all your hair out... We also help keep her moving by mentioning how beautiful she'll look in her outfit, etc. and using a lot of pleasant tactile statements about things I want her to do. "Oh, that sweater looks so warm and soft, I can't wait to see how nice you look in it!" "I bet breakfast will taste great. You must be hungry after not eating all night!" "Your hair looks so beautiful and is so nice to touch when you brush it, can you go work on that now?" I also try to remind her that if she gets ready quick enough and doesn't require a lot of intervention from me, then she will have time to hug the kitty (this works better than saying pet the kitty or play with him, even though that is what she'll do because she is really responsive to affection and hugging is a more strongly pleasant response than petting with your hand), read her book, and maybe even cuddle up on the couch and watch part of a show before we have to leave.

When all else fails, and some mornings she is feeling extra stubborn and it does, I do a lot of following her around to I can oust her from wherever she is trying to play/sit/read or any other of the million things she can find to do when she doesn't feel like doing what I've asked. I'm thankful that she's in PM Kindergarden this year so *we* can practice some of these self care/motivation issues. I wish you much luck with your little guy!

I notice that everyone in our family goes through this phase of morning blues. Sometimes we have a hard time in the morning ,sometimes we don't, but we have really been looking into how blood sugar effects us lately and have found out alot. Blood sugar doesn't alway just effect people with diabetes, it effects all of us, especially children because of how much energy they use and how they are absorbing nutrients in food. I would try maybe feeding him before he goes to bed, giving him a midnight snack or waking him up with breakfast in bed. just trying this for a week, might show a difference in his energy, motivation, and behavior. I noticed that my daughter and my husband would be way grumpier in the morning when they would not eat many small meals routinely the day before or it was a day day of to much travel or it was too long before they ate from night until morning, like pregnancy. I'm sure you will figure this out, don't resist or it will persist. He sounds like he is a great kid, looking at his metabolism and how to fuel that consistently could be a solution.

B. C

Well he's just not a morning person. My 6yr old is the same.

Have you tried waking him up half an hour earlier than everyone else so he can get himself together?

How about handing the responsibility of getting up and ready to him? We have good luck with setting an alarm for our son and just letting him get himself ready in the morning. He knows what he needs to do.

K. , my only son(in between 2 girls) was hard to get going in the morning also, I didn't really find anything that worked but if I had to do it over again I would make him go to bed earlier than the other kids , and tell him when he protests that when he can get up and get going without a problem he can go to bed a little later...I've also heard of many moms giving them their own alarm to get up...

Now that he is grown up I guess his punishment is that he gets up 2 hours earlier now than when he was in school!!!!

He needs more sleep.

Hello K., I have had this problem in the past and had to deal with it aggressivly because I had 3 children 1 1/2 years apart. So what one did, the others tried also. If your son cannot get up in the morning, move his bed time up an hour. If he commplains, tell him that he can control his bed time by getting motivated in the mornings. If that still doesn't work, move it up another hour. My middle child had gotten so bad that I put her on the school bus with no breakfast and in her P.J.'s on morning. That was the last time that she ever dragged her feet in the morning. She was only in 1st grade at the time, but I never had the problem again. When the kids get tough, the parents need to get tougher, and it needs to effect the child directly. But remember that talk is cheap. Say what you mean and mean what you say, or none of them will believe you or your threats. And don't cater to him, by standing by him while he gets dressed. Giving in to his tantrams is adding fuel to the fire. Good luck. I hope that you find a soulution.

It sounds like he isn't getting enough sleep to me. Every kid is different in their needs, I have one that needs 5 hours, so she gets up and reads a lot when everyone is still sleeping, but my 6.5 is a bear in the morning too unless he gets at least 10 hours. He goes to bed at 8:00 and gets up at about 6:00, sometimes a little earlier, sometimes he's still in bed when 6:35 rolls around, which is our 'you need to be up now' time. It has made a big difference to get him to bed on time every day.

take him to school in his jammies - he'll straighten out quick......

I agree with the advise to get him to bed earlier. I find working moms like myself tend to let the kids stay up later. Also, not sure when you're having these conversations about his responsibility and how it affects everyone, but talks like that work best right before bed, and with a positive tone. At 7, though, he probably doesn't get it. That's young to care about how he's affecting your morning. Also, my middle son seems top always do the opposite of his older sib out of an odd competiveness. Try not to point out that others are being good "Why can't you be like...." Good luck. I have a 9th grader I'm dragging out of bed as we speak!!!

My boys aren't morning people either. I let them have a snack right before bed then make sure they get to bed at a reasonable time. If they give me a hard time about getting up the next morning I move the bed time back by 15 minutes for the next night. The more difficulties they have getting out of bed the earlier the bedtime. Often times I tell them in the morning I"m going to move back the bedtime and it helps them get moving or they'll miss their favorite tv shows in the evening. There's been days they go to bed at 7 or 7:30pm, too. Don't give in. Another trick I picked up is to use a spray type waterbottle. If they don't get up they get squirted until they are out of bed. A little water first thing in the morning can do wonders. It's along the same principal of getting a shower in the morning to help wake you up. There have been only one or two incidents where my boys got really wet. Now all I have to do is tell them I'm getting the waterbottle and they are up in a heartbeat. If they're grumpy they get squirted, too. They think it's funny when their brother gets wet so we've made a game out of it.

Hope this helps - S.

Then send him to bed an hour earlier so he gets the necessary amount of sleep. Maybe even set his clock ahead to get him to move his butt.

He is only 7, so of course he doesn't have an understanding or appreciation for adult schedules. But something better work before he has you trained, and so does the little one.

First, I have a few questions. What time does he go to bed? Does he go right to sleep? Does he respond to a better routine at night?

My kids respond well to reward/consequence situations. We have given them a chore chart with 5 cents earned per sticker (6yr girl & 4yr boy). We included things like getting clothes out the night before, having backpack ready the night before, teeth bruching, and a few household chores. We use the very basics at this age. They like the stickers and allowance. It has helped our routine run more smoothly.

I also find when my kids are tired they move slower and want more assistance with everything! Make sure your son is getting enough quality sleep. A consequence that works well with my children is earlier bedtimes for actions like whining and talking back, which usually happens more when they are tired. They definitely dislike going to bed before 8 pm.
Also try letting him know that if he is going to take longer to get ready, you will wake him up earlier. That will mean you need to get him to bed earlier.

Are there any rewards he would respond well to? Does he like bike rides, video games, or something else specific? You should find a reward/consequence he will relate to and that means a lot to him. Whatever it is make sure it is something you and your daycare provider are willing to enforce. Let your son know he will get the privilege of this reward only if is on time in the morning, without ruining your families routine. He will suffer the consequence of not being able to do this action if he does not cooperate. I would also suggest a graduated skale. The more he does not cooperate the longer the consequence. If you find something meaningful to him and enforce it, it should improve the situation.

Good Luck

L.

My daughter was the same way. Getting her ready for school was difficult. Her problem was lack of sleep because she was staying up late in bed. What worked for me was to get her to bed earlier. If that didn't work, I got her up earlier because she needed the extra time to wake up and get ready--this changed her quickly, so she just went to bed earlier rather than wake up earlier. No tv or radio in bed either. I know with both of you working full-time this may be a challenge, but hopefully, it's a temporary situation. Also, what helps is to make up a visual schedule for him for homework, play, eating, and bedtime. Some kids need the structure. If a 1/2 hour doesn't work, just keep moving up the bed time. If you and your husband remain firm and consistent with the new sleep schedule, he will get the message.

Good Luck,

MC

K., I am not sure that he is playing "games" with you. He is just not a "morning" person. I have one of those too (she's 10). We have found something that has worked for us, maybe it will work for you.

I will typically get her up in the morning, get her dressed and then let her have 5 more minutes to "sleep". After that 5 minutes, she gets up with no problems. She just needs some warning time.

I have also noticed that if she gets to bed earlier at night she is much easier to wake in the morning. She is a child who requires a little more sleep. When she doesn't want to get up, it is her body telling us that we need to adjust the schedule so her body can get the rest it needs. It will be more difficult now that school has started.

You don't say when he goes to bed. Kids need 12 hours of sleep so he needs to go to bed at 7pm to get up at 7am. I know that might be hard but it really helps.
Does he have too much stimulation in the evening to settle? quite things down for 1/2 hour before bed time.
He might also have really low blood sugar in the morning. You could try to give him a protein snack before be if he needs one.
Is there a problem with the place that he goes when you go to work?
L.

put him to bed earlier.. tell him that you will move his bedtime earlier and earlier until he can get up nicely..

If it takes a 7 pm bedtime for him to get up nicely then that is what his bedtime is.

My daughter is a bear in the morning.. she needs lots of sleep.. but I stay home so it is really not an issue yet..

Hi there. I have no advice of my own, since my daughter is only 15 months, but I'm chuckling at the stories of taking kids in their pjs to school, because I know I'm in for that years down the road!

I will say, however, that I agree that some people are just wired this way. I have been terrible at getting up my whole life. From high school until I became a SAHM (I'm 35), if I had to get up in the morning, I set my clock an hour - yes, a full hour - ahead of time and snoozed it. I called it "easing into my day". If I missed it and jolted awake and had to get up immediately, I was ornery for HOURS. I rely heavily on coffee, and while this obviously isn't suitable for your son, I agree with the comments about letting him do something (TV, or whatever) for a little while - whatever will wake him up naturally and ease him into his day.

I would also say to make sure he gets enough sleep. And you might want to ask your dr. about sleep apnea - I've often wondered if I have that (I have had allergies my whole life) and I don't sleep well, and that's why I don't wake well.

Anyway, just wanted to say that getting up early is difficult for some of us adults, too. It was never a power thing for me - getting up between 6 and 7:30 just always interrupted my sleep pattern. Sometimes if you know they're not doing it on purpose to make your life difficult, it makes it easier to sympathize, at least (even if it doesn't help you get your day going!). Good luck with your little night owl.

I feel his pain...I'm not a morning person at all...I literally think it hurts to get up in the morning, whether I've had a lot of sleep or no sleep.
I do wake up alot at night, so my sleep is interrupted, which most likely contributes to me being so tired and moving so slow in the morning.
I also have a low producing thyroid which makes me tired.
Make sure to rule out sleep problems, and hormone levels before you label him a big trouble maker. He just might not be getting the sleep he needs to feel rested in the morning.
After that stuff is out of the way...the advice is a slow wake up time. get him an alarm with a snooze. Or they make an alarm clock that jumps off the table and runs around the room and you have to chase it to turn it off...he might like the extra laugh in the morning???

I heard this suggestion by Dr. Kevin Leeman. Dr. Leeman was talking about kids who would not get out of bed and get going in the morning just like your son. He suggested that you buy him an alarm clock if he doesn't already have one, show him how to use it and then expect him to use it and get up the next morning on his own. Now you on the other hand probably don't really think he'll do it but at least he had the opportunity to be responsible which you needed to provide in order to do the next step.
The next day after he didn't get up to his alarm just let him sleep in until he wakes up probably quite a bit after school starts, so he would obviously be late, don't get his breakfast ready since he always complains to you and he will wonder why you didn't get him up, he'll be late and he doesn't even have breakfast ready for him!!!!
Tell him that he should have gotten up when his alarm went off then he would have been on time, and had breakfast.
Now you need to write a note to the teacher, telling him/her that "Johnny" has no excuse for being late and he will need whatever consequences that are normally given for late students (he's only seven so there are probably not any demerits, or detentions yet)

This could however backfire if there are no consequences from the school then he may like not having to go to a whole day of school, so you would then have to implement some sort of consequences so he knew it wasn't a little game he could play.

now I know you said that both you and your husband work full time so I don't know if this would work with your schedule, but if you think it may work, it may be worth taking 1/2 a day off of work to get him to get up on his own or even pleasantly

K. my 15 yr old is terrible in the morning. However I have found that walking in and quietly telling her it is time to get up works best with her. Her older sister gets up, then her younger sister. Put your sons clothes out the night before. Have a bagel or something that he can eat in the car ready incase he doesn't get up in time for breakfast at home.
Make him pack his lunch the night before so that doesn't take time (all 4 of my kids make their own lunch).
Have him go to bed earlier and start waking him earlier, so he has time to be sleepy.
I usually go in a second time about 10min. later if she hasn't gotten up and try again.
Let him know that he will go to school in his pjs if he isn't moving (you might want to warn the teacher before you get ready to do this) and keep to your own schedule.
Do not let the little one start or you will really be miserable.
Good Luck
K.

It sounds to me like your son's passive aggressive behavior might be due to not enough time with his parents. I realize that with both of you working that makes it hard, but try spending some quality one on one time with him, focusing on stuff HE likes to do and lots of positive attention. If both parents each spend 15-30 min of quality time with him it should hopefully make a difference.

If this doesn't help I'd recommend taking him to a counselor and seeing if there is anything else that is bothering him.

Best wishes!

He might be suffering from low blood sugar. Try giving him a "treat" before bed like peanut butter on wheat crackers or something full of protien, low in simple carbs that he really likes. It also helps to give this snack 30 minutes before he really HAS to be up, let him snooze for 30 minutes...then get him up. Whichever timetable works. One of my daughters was the same way. We found out her blood sugar in the AM was sometimes as low as 60...talk about dragging. She was also having energy dips during the day, along with a headache. As soon as we started feeding her like a hummingbird, we had a different kid! She did the snack before bed AND in the AM. She is not diabetic. It changed our mornings big time! I hope this helps! Good Luck!

We both work full time too and it is always a challenge to get out the door on time. Be sure he is getting to bed on time at night. I know my son is a totally different (very grumpy, nasty) kid if he does not get enough sleep. I think kids need more sleep than we think !! Routine and structure are always VERY important for kids. Also try to have as much done the night before (clothes picked out, lunches and backpacks ready , etc.).
Have you tried a behavior chart ? Put together a chart that includes everything he needs to do to get ready, and he can check off what he has done (or however you set up the chart -magnets, velcro, whatever is easy). If he gets ready in a timely fashion he earns a smile face (or whatever he is interested in) for the morning. 5 good mornings in a row earns him a privilege or treat. Ask him what he wants to work for. You could also say that part of his allowance depends on how well he gets ready in the morning.
Also try talking to his classroom teacher. She/he may provide insights on his behavior in the classroom and may have some good suggestions as well.
Good luck !!
J.

You didn't mention his bed time. Kids still need a lot of rest at 7. If he's not getting at least 10 hours I'd consider changing that to start. All of my kids get 10-12 hours...13 y/o less then the 3 y/o.
If he's getting 10+ hours of sleep start taking things away. Does he use the computer? iPod? Video games? If he doesn't get up and get moving then he doesn't have priviliges when you return home. I'm sure it will be a bad time for all for a few days but once he realizes you're serious his tune will change really fast. Sometimes we as parents just have to be tough.
If taking priviliges doesn't work you could always stick him in the car in his jammies and let him explain to his friends at school why he's still in them LOL :-) or at least say you're going to do it (sorry, there was a parent that did that to her son when I was in 2nd grade, just had to toss it out there) Good luck, I hope your son comes around!

My young son had a tough time also. We put an alarm clock in his room, so he got upset with the clock instead of me for disturbing his sleep...but he had to get up to stop the alarm and this helped him start the wake up process...Good luck!

Hi K.. My daughter, who is now 32 and a busy mother and an RN used put me through the same grief every day. Not just mornings--ANY time we were on a deadline. She didn't do this with her Dad for he wouldn't "put up with it". He was quite the displinarian so I made up for it by being extra nice. Anyway, hindsight being 20/20 how I could have dealt with it was drop her off at day care and then when she was older just leave. There would have been repercussions. When younger I would have taken away activities or whatever was where it hurt. When she was older she would have had repercussions not only from me but school. She was in 4H and we bought her a beautiful black lab puppy when she was ten. She LOVED training and showing him yet EVERY time it was a hassle getting out the door on time. I foolishly did a lot of yelling. I should have told her what time we had to leave and if she wasn't ready we would have stayed home. I always scrambled around and we would be late but she would make the deadline. There is NO doubt in my mind that this was about control. I was a wreck every day and she knew it. She even caused her brother to be late for school a couple of times but that I did get control of. (he's 36 now and a teacher) He wasn't a morning person either but he knew that he HAD to get up, period.Now, in your situation, does he get enough sleep? Do you have the TV on while he's getting around? Demanding that you stay while he dresses is also control. I am NOT saying he or my daughter are doing it consciously but kids learn early what buttons to push. You've tried everything and nothing has worked so it is time to get tough. No more coddling him. You wake him up and proceed about your morning as if he is a "morning person." (I hated getting up early, still do but I do it) Do not allow him to cause such chaos or make any one else late. If he doesn't get ready in time take him to day care with his little brother. Of course, with repercussions. I think once he realizes he isn't the puppet master he'll cooperate. A couple of days in day care with a two year olds should do it since he's a "big boy" and attends school.It won't be easy because no Mom wants to be "mean" but you'll save everyone a lot of stress. If he's too old for the two year old's day care try to make special arrangements with the provider by explaining to her what's going on. Good luck, your going to need it. :-) Denise.

K.,

If a regular alarm clock does not work you might want to try the sunshine clock: http://www.gadgetshack.com/light-therapy-sun-alarm-clock....

It wakes a person up slowly by raising the light levels in the room. It is expensive, but in the long run it might be worth it.

Good luck!

Hey K.,
I'd make sure he was getting 10-12 hours of sleep, then I would wake him first and give him a few minutes to wake up, my son needs 3 times to get up, but he now has his own alarm and keeps hitting snooze. (3 is the limit) I only had to take him to school in his pj's once before he knew i meant business! (it was snowing out and slippers really suck in the snow!!!)
Good Luck and keep up the great work...it only gets harder when they get older!
L. B

My kids are older now (10-12-14), however we had the same issues. I have my kids in bed by 9 to get up by 6. If they are slow to get ready, STOP NAGGING. When my daughter was three and didn't want to get dressed. I told her she was down to 2 minutes and she just sat there. I loaded her in the car and we left. Jammies, blankie etc. She only did that once. Since then she has been late a few times, however I always give consequences. Now in middle school if she misses the bus because she is not ready, she owes me $5 for taking her to school and making me late. Again this only happened once last year. Even at 7 they can read a clock and know how long it takes to get ready. Give him consequences separate from your other children.

I'd make him go to bed earlier...and if he doesn't like it. Then tell him he needs to start getting up without a fuss and without help. And if going to bed earlier...doesn't seem to help I'd keep making him go to bed earlier until it does start to help. He'll get the point. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Sounds like your little man is trying to run the household in the morning and succeeding. Bummer. You can't let him get away with it. What if you walked away and let him cry when he tries to make you stay at his side to get dressed? It's worth a try. It will be hard though. He will get the picture too.

OR - I wake up rough every morning until I drink my vitamins. They are isotonic, so they are in my blood system in 5-10 minutes. This gets me going. I have them for my son too if you want details!

S.
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K.,

Do you have similar control issues with him at other times during the day? You mentioned all of the normal attempts to motivate him and even bribe him. I was going through a similar issue with one of my children and I was focusing on the morning because that was when it was MOST disruptive for me, but when we went to counseling, it was pointed out that she was controlling other portions of our lives too. Morning was the focus of my complaint for the same reasons (late for work, late for school, missing the bus, etc.)but she was also disrupting dinner and other family functions. If it isn't as simple as "he needs more sleep" you may want to have a third party examine how your family is running. I found out that my darling daughter really had developed ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). Rather than negotiate and try to find a way to make everything happy and nice for her, I had to set a firm schedule and more importantly, lay out clear consequences for her disruptive behavior. Others have basically told you the same thing when they said to take him to school in his PJ's. Most importantly, don't just threaten to do it. If you say you are going to do something, you MUST follow through. I went through some very rough days when I was forced to carry out things like physically dressing my daughter (in clothes she didn't want to wear), walking her downstairs, sitting her in the chair, feeding her breakfast of MY choice, and marching her out to the porch and shutting the door behind her. If she forgot her snack, too bad. If she didn't have what she wanted, too bad. If she didn't like the food, she could go hungry till lunch. If she was wearing clothes she didn't like, too bad. If she showed up at school with tear marks on her face like a baby, too bad. You know what? She changed. Our life changed when I was counseled on how to deal with her more effectively. I hope this was helpful and if you need to know who our counselor was (he was WONDERFUL!) I would be happy to tell you. Just email me.

Have you tried step by step picture directions? You take pics of him doing the diffrent tasks for the morning...get up, brush teeth, get dressed...have him put a marker or remove the item from the picture board when the item is commpleted.
Blessings, K.

I recently read Love & Logic and it said she took her son to school in his PJ's! I would try reading it and make a plan and stick to it! I am working w/my 3 year old right now on not giving her warnings and just telling her something once & if she doesn't listen she gets something taken away (i.e. her morning bike ride, Hannah Montana music in the car on the way to daycare- whatever is important to her!) She is starting to get it but it's a learning experience for us both! Good Luck!

I just took a love and logic class that discuss this issue. You can go to there website and I m sure you will find something on this subject. Its wwwloveandlogic.com In class they basically said make sure your child has the skills they need to get ready. Have a day of practice make it very fun. go over with your child what needs to be done every morning to get ready take pictures of him doing the activities for a reminder for him. Make a plan in the morning discuss it with many people fill in all the holes before implementing the plan.

Only use enforceable statements. which means do not say eat your breakfast or get dressed. Say things like breakfast is over at 6:20 only say it once. show him what 6:20 on a clock is. Tell something like kids who brush there teeth get treats or books or whatever you can think of. For getting dressed say are you wearing your close or are we putting them in a bag? Instead of yelling to get ready say the cars leave in 5 minutes.

The way the class explains it is this you can't make a child eat or get dressed or hurry up and we nag and yell it only make the child want to do the opposite. so you say your enforceable statement once and when the child does not comply you say something like How sad or that's a bummer I Breakfast is over. When you get a tantrum and you will you say I know that's really sad I hope you make it ok until lunch. It also sad warn the school and anyone else about what you are doing and why. Say Please do not give him a snack this morning he had a chance to eat breakfast and refused.

It also recommends giving your child chose so with my sons I sat down with him and made a list. It kind of went like this when you get up do you want to eat breakfast first or get dressed. He chose eat. So then I said breakfast will be over at 7:20. After breakfast do want to brush you teeth or get dressed and make your bed? He chose getting dressed. Then I said are we going to brush are teeth or comb our hair? We continued down the list until he has chosen everything that needs to be done. Last year I was yelling and screaming to get him out the door for school. This year two days into we have been ready with no yelling or screaming. The thing is you must be willing to follow thru with what you say. Do not yell or scream be sincere and firm when you must do something you say. like breakfast is done and he not ate a bite say it with empathy and love. Tell him how sorry it is happening. Children learn when we threaten things and never go through with them. You must be willing to leave him if you say the car leaves in 5 minutes. Have a back up plan like a babysitter one that's not to nice and he needs to pay for that sitter to with something of value to him. This may sound mean but You will probably only have to do it once. Not to many seven years want to show up in class in pj's in front of all there class mates. I'm also reading love and logic for the preschool yrs that discuss this topic. They also have books for older children too. Like I said I did this with my 7 yr. and it worked great so far. Hope this helps..