Feels like I'm Falling Apart - Sort of a Long One, Sorry

Oh it so totally normal!
Get good with a crock pot so supper is ready when you get home.
Dump ingredients into it in the morning and you are set.
Use the crock pot liners and clean up is EASY!
I have a neighbor who got so fed up with dishes she got the family using paper plates for a few years so she could just throw them away rather than dealing with cleaning dishes.
She still had to wash pots/pans but those were not too bad.
As the kids get older they can help out.
I must confess - when my son was 4, I'd occasionally had him sock skate the floors to get them dusted - it was better than nothing (but was a bit hard on the socks).
Sometimes the dusting and vacuuming just don't get done for awhile.
It won't always be like this - it's just really tough when the kids are young.

Sounds like you are a typical working mother. Just do the best you can and let the guilt go. Kids first. House will always be there. Remember cooking and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow for babies grow up I ve learned to my sorrow, so quiet down cobwebs n dust go to sleek, I m rocking my babies n babies don't keep. That is what I am doing. Rocking my sleeping granddaughter in my left arm n write with my right.

This sounds totally normal to me. My husband also works late a lot and I'm on my own with the kids quite a bit. What I did was make a list of the things I cared about getting done (or absolutely had to, like packing lunches), and the list is short enough that I can reasonable do those things in a night. Everything else I let go until I can't stand it and don't allow myself to feel guilty about it. I plan the week's meals on the weekend. A lot of it is crockpot. Much is frozen/processed. You do what you can. On Sunday I might cook a "real" dinner -- If I do I make double so we can have it again later in the week. One of the things on my "care about" list is spending time with my son after school. I force myself to disengage from chores and running the house to spend time with him doing what he wants to do. That's the worthwhile part. Everything you clean just gets dirty again! I'm up til midnight every night and up at 6. It's just how it is.

All I have for you is they grow up! They get into school, they learn to pick up for themselves and you will slowly find everything gets better and better....

:)

Just don't be like me and have two more at that point! :p Seriously, I did, nine years between my middle two all because it got easy to juggle everything!
__________________________________________________________
OH yeah, and everyone's house looks like yours, they just have bigger closets to shove everything into when people come over.....

You are completely normal. Most woman are not Martha Stewart and if both parents work, it can be very difficult. A couple of suggestions.
1. learn to love your crock pot - put everything in in the morning, it's done by dinnertime.
2. Plan ahead - meals planned a head (a week at a time) make life a lot easier. We also do massive cooking once every month or two and freeze casseroles to be cooked when we are crunched for time.
3. Teach your girls to help out. five is not too young to set the table or clean it off.
4. Claim a day. Once a month it's your day, also at least once a month should be date night.
and 5. Don't sweat a little dirt (or a lot of laundry), we all fall behind. A loving environment for your kids is more important than a spotless one.

I only work part-time, so I have fewer crazy days than you do, I suspect, but I have girlfriends who use this trick -
When is your anniversary year end at work? How much time off do you have left? If you can, take one, and send the kids to school and daycare anyway.

I'm personally an advocate of doing one thing for myself, when I have time. Usually, it's having lunch at my favorite not-kid-friendly burger joint. Then spend the rest of the day being productive. Make a weeks' worth of lunches. (Seriously. Go ahead and fill 5 plastic baggies with chips or pretzels or whatever - they'll keep all week in the baggies, just as well as the original bag. Get those little applesauce tubs, or string cheese, or whatever is pre-packaged that you can send. I do this, anyway, for times when I KNOW it's going to be a crazy week.) Then set your oven timer - 15 minutes MAX per room (me? small rooms, like the guest bath, get 5). Gather your cleaning supplies - including a trash bag, and a box for "things that don't belong in this room" - and GO. Go back to the really bad spaces AFTER you've finished everything, but from personal experience, spend the most time on that space that you see EVERY DAY. Maybe the master bathroom counter? Or just your sock drawer, even? Something that, seeing it clean everyday instead of messy, will feel good.

Then, serve dinner on paper plates. You just cleaned the kitchen, after all. Keep it clean a little longer. There is nothing wrong with pizza, one night a month, served on paper plates. Make pizza night a weekday, dad-working-late thing, instead of a Friday night, when you have all weekend to catch up. Do it when you DON'T have time, and then you have a deadline for homework - have to do it before the pizza gets here! - smart money says DD does it faster! Or, you can always put the pizza place (or chinese, or whatever) on your phone's speed dial. When you stop to pick up DD from your husband on work-late-nights, you can order the pizza then, and it'll arrive at your house around the same time you do.

Also, a trick we use for crazy hectic times (doesn't everyone have these?) - storytime, nightly allergy meds, and toothbrushing all happen while kids are in the bath, together. They splash and play, and all that other stuff gets done. Also, you don't say how old the "baby" is, but I've been known to clean the bathroom (well, everything but the tub!) while my kids are in the tub - too young be alone, but old enough that I don't have to have my hands on them every second.

I've also been known to indulge in a glass of wine and MY TV shows while I'm doing all of those "after the kids have gone to bed" chores. Makes them slightly more amusing, and since hubby and the kids don't like what I do on TV, well, that sort of turns folding laundry or assembling the kids' daily school folders or whatever into "me" time.

Although, as for folding laundry - I really don't see any reason why every load necessarily has to be folded as soon as it comes out of the dryer. Put it in the dryer, and go to bed. "Permanent press" is your friend. As for other things, if someone is close enough to my underwear to notice that it's wrinkled, they *better* not be thinking about my housekeeping skills. And if they ARE, then we have bigger problems.

I don't know if any of this is possible for you, but I hope there might be even a spark of a good idea there. I'm not organized, not by any means, goodness no! But I'm pretty good at LOOKING organized. Like Jo said, I just have a nice big closet - or more accurately, boxes that I shove stuff into, and throw into the garage.

Hang in there, lady. Remember, not even June Cleaver, was June Cleaver. She had a wardrobe person, a makeup person, and a set decorator to dress her and clean her "house."

I am 46 and my kids are 9 and 13 and your description fits my life to a T except that I also bring home a lot of work (English professor) that I also need to get done at night (grading papers). My husband and I both work overloads (extra classes) to cover expenses. Add in the required volunteer hours at our kids' school and driving them to after-school activities...well, my life is exhausting and insane. I do not have any tricks. I will say that very recently I have decided to compartmentalize. That means I will focus on one thing and work to enjoy it. So yesterday, I spent a few hours cleaning the house, but then I spent quality time with my oldest child and then watched a baseball game with my youngest. I am getting to the point that I refuse to focus on the stress. I do not want to miss the happiness that is right in front of me because I am so worried about the details. I am not sure of how this will work in the long run, but I am going to try it out. I just have to stop beating up on myself because I can't do everything perfectly. Life is too damn short to feel bad about that.

You are absolutely not alone.

Hi LMG, You're your own worst critic. You have no basis of comparison, but just KNOW nobody's really pulling it off any better than YOU are, ok?

I wish you wouldn't worry so much about what you're NOT getting to, and spend more time being impressed by what you ARE getting to.

Give yourself a break. Focus on the GOOD stuff (everybody's loved, fed, safe, mortgage is paid, etc).

:)

We don't do it any better that you do! Honestly what you're doing is the way it is for most of us. Just accept that for now, it is what it is. If it makes you feel better, sometimes I'm the one working into the evening. I get home at 10 PM and my husband hasn't managed to do anything beyond getting the kids home and feeding them. Mine are old enough to put themselves to bed but when they do, it's usually late without teeth brushed, and in the same dirty clothes they wore that day. It irks me but at the end of the day they're at least fed and sleeping. Sometimes on those late nights I clean up the kitchen and do a quick pick up before bed but if I don't? Oh well, the dishes will be there tomorrow.

Cut yourself some slack. These younger years are so, so hard. It does get better when they get older (unless you're foolish enough to have 4 and then really, there is no reprieve from the sheer overwhelming logistical strain). Babies and even Kindergartners require so much hands on parenting it's a wonder you can get anything done. Once they both a little older, you'll suddenly find that you have more than 5 consecutive minutes of freedom to get things done and you will be able to get more on top of things.

All I can do is offer support as you are not the only one! My schedule sounds almost identical to yours! You aren't alone - and it's not easy!

Okay, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and relax....

I'll let you in on a secret - it wouldn't be much easier if you were a SAHM so if you feel any guilt about that, let go of it now and don't let it back in! I think it's a matter of just trying to keep your head above water until the kids get more self-sufficient. My family has left babyhood behind and is coming up on the preschool years and its getting a little easier! Yes, you still need to help with homework and they start doing more after school stuff, but they can help or at least do some things for themselves (sometimes grudgingly) and it makes a lot of difference.

Look, we remodeled a bathroom (sticky vinyl floor tiles, new vanity and mirror, new paint- that's it) when my kids were almost 1, 4, and 6.5. It took us 5 months. Actually, it's not done yet because we never installed the base moulding - oops! And that was a year and a half ago. :/

I guess I'm trying in my rambling way to let you know that most of us are like you, just trying to get by the best we can, and that it won't be like this forever. In the meantime, double recipes when you can and freeze the leftovers, make friends with a crockpot, close the doors to the kids' rooms and 'take care of it later', only use dishes that can go directly into the dishwasher (or paper), and tell your oldest that dusting is fun(!) and big girls can put their clean laundry away. Get some decorative lidded boxes to stash stuff in, like mail or the ever-present toys in the living room. As for laundry, well, I've got nuthin'. Although I used to know a bachelor (not my husband!) that would throw his dirty clothes in large garbage bags and just go buy new stuff if he didn't feel like going to the laundromat.

Hope it's a long nap day for you!

First of all, stop caring what other people think, because you are normal and if they think less of you, they are turds and you shouldnt worry about that anyways.
I guess some people have it together all the time, but I dont.
I stay at home too and my house is usually a disaster. My husband works a ton too and its really hard to work on projects around here.
Having little kids is hard, for everyone.
So be so hard on yourself.

I second the use to the crock pot. And with cold weather setting in...it's so nice to come home to a nice roast or a crock pot "rotisserie" chicken or pork roast.

Use paper plates. For REEEEELZ, lady. :-) Not having dishes to do every night sure is nice.

Stop trying to do it all yourself. Ask your husband for help. I know you feel like "he should just know I need help and get up and do it." But men aren't wired like that. You have to ask. Tell him the problem ("I'm feeling frazzled and need help with this specific thing, please.") so he can help fix it. Men ARE NOT mind readers, but they are natural problem solvers. Tell him so he can put on his fix-it hat.

A simple "I really need you to do these dishes while I get DD into bed." and a "THANK YOU!" and big kiss after go a long way. And whatever you have him do....don't micromanage it. Get out of the way and let him do it his way, even if it's not how you would do it.

Best of luck!

ETA: An above post got me thinking... 2-3 nights during my week are for leftovers. Whenever you DO cook, make too much. WAY too much. Whatever you don't eat will be eaten on a leftover night. Whenever I brown hamburger, I always do extra and put it into the freezer unseasoned...then I have meat for tacos or sloppy joes all ready (it microwaves nicely in a pyrex bowl).

Hang in there girl! I've been there too. It gets better even though right now you are so sleep deprived that it feels like it'll last forever. (I can remember fearing the sunset because I knew I just had more hours of being awake). They will soon be more independent and you will have a break. You've got a lot of good suggestions here. The crock pot is one of my favorite! If you can, though, try an get a little time to yourself. You need to recharge your batteries too. If there's anyone out there you can trust to watch the kids for just an hour or two, take some time to pamper yourself or just get some sleep.

Take care and just be patient. This too will pass....

PB&J: so funny! My ex-boyfriend used to do that with his underwear and undershirts! He would just toss them in a heap and when he ran out, go out and buy more. Thus is the life of an investment banker... too busy, but tons of cash!
_____________________________________________________________

Crock Pot is my life... at least twice a week. Cheap, easy and balanced... just how we like it!

My secret? Housekeeper. Bottom line... I couldn't continue to "do it all"- even with SUBSTANTIAL contributions from my husband and still spend time as wife/mommy.

In our house, I'm the one who works longer hours (plus a commute), so we wrote down everything that needs to get done during our waking hours, crossed off the non-essentials and went from there. Things that got crossed off were handed to the housekeeper.

We also are huge into doing things the night before.

Google Robin Miller (Food Network). I love her! I don't think her show is on anymore, but she has great suggestions on how to "cook once, use twice" so that you have healthy and "real dinners" throughout the week. Simple things like, make two pork roasts on a Sunday. Eat one, freeze the other. Two weeks from now, defrost and serve with egg noodles and microwaved veggies. Same thing with a roasted chicken. She also suggests making a menu for the week and then buying accordingly. This has been HUGE for us. It's posted on the fridget. That way, whoever gets home first knows what to "start". It also allows me to "chop once, use many times". For example, this week I need chopped onions in three recipes. On Sunday, I chopped three whole onions, portioned into ziplocs and froze them. Before leaving the house this morning, I took out a baggie and it will be ready when I get home to get the sauce going.

Make things in bulk so that you just have to reheat and recombine:
- Roasted chicken
- Grilled Chicken
- meatloaf
- pork loin
- roasted veggies
- stuffed peppers
- stuffed pastas
- pasta sauces (if you make yours)
- meatballs

Make sure that you are really doing as much as you can the night before and getting your older child to help. My son is 4 and he puts his own toys and clothing away. He takes his own bath (we check of course) and gets himself dressed/undressed, etc. He doesn't earn an allowance, it's just part of being a member of our family. We all help.

Oh- and I second the recommendation to take a day off and get caught up. I do this from time-to-time and feel like a rockstar by the end of the day! You can accomplish so much when you have 8 quiet hours to yourself!!

You are describing my life, completely. Right down to the "not disgusting, just not orderly and dusted" bit. Only thing is, I sort of accept that this is the state of things. Okay, the place is cluttered. Okay, I'm exhausted. so what? I've got a happy, healthy kid. So my big tip is, you seem to doing great, but you think you're doing terribly. Why??? I mean, you're raising wonderful children. Giving them healthy meals. Place is not a pigsty. What are you doing that's so wrong????

A few tips, but be warned -- I don't have many.

Can you cook two or three decent meals per week? If so, great. Triple the recipe. Now you've got dinner covered for the whole week.

All the nightly prepping you're doing -- how much of that can be weekly prepping? Could you invest in a few extra bottles, so you can clean a week's worth on Sunday and be set? One thing I do, I make 5 sandwiches for my son's lunch every Sunday night. The rest of lunch is really easy to assemble -- fruit and a juice box -- and I don't have to deal with icky deli meat every night.

And can you treat yourself just a teeny bit? Get a babysitter once a month and do dinner out? Or get a cleaning service once a month? (I haven't been able to do this too often lately, for budget reasons, but when I do, I find I'm able to keep the house much cleaner, since it's got a big head start).

Honestly, though, you're doing great. I bet you anything your house is cleaner than mine is right now. I bet you a million anythings your car is neater than mine. And I don't feel terrible. I just feel like I need to clean out my car.

Is there a lady in your neighborhood that can come in for three hours a day to tidy up, throw in a couple of washes and prepare the evening meal? I wish we were neighbors-I would come over and not charge you a dime-I am exhausted and teary eyed just reading your letter. Could you work from home one day a week or does your job require your presence?Can you prepare meals on Sunday that will be great reheated during the week? Can you take a day or two off during the week to catch up? Can you get a cleaning crew to come in every week or every two weeks? Have you started training your daughter to help? She should easily be able to make her bed, clean her room, help with the common areas and put away clean clothes.You need outside help. Take care and best of luck! I know it's hard-

Another crock pot vote here. Slow cook or make ahead meals can save you a lot of time. Consider cleaning one room or doing one 'chore' every evening: Monday-living room, Tuesday-bedroom, Wednesday-bathroom, Thursday-laundry, etc. and then have the kids pick up their stuff before bed each night.

Incidentally, I am a SAHP. My husband works full time and is in college. You should see my house. Ha. It is a disaster at the moment (toys everywhere, dishwasher to be unloaded, laundry to be put away, living room floor to be swept, leaves to rake, guinea pig cage to clean - but I've injured my back so who knows when any of it will get done). Very few people with young children have immaculate homes.

OH! You just described my life with a few minor changes. 1. People are not there to visit your house, they are there to visit you so don't worry about what other people think and if they gripe too much I would stop inviting them over. 2. You need some gal pal time. On friday or saturday nights every week have the girls over for some games and snacks. Let them bring the kids if they need to. this is a great excuse to get your house clean. 3. Just do the vacuuming, bathrooms, laundry and kitchen often. Do the other stuff when you can.
I used to work 9-5, pick my son up from the sitters, come home at 6;00, make dinner, clean kitchen, get lunches packed. My husband would go out biking, snowboarding, kayaking 3-5 times per week. He doesn't lift a finger. I got maybe 1/2 hour with my son each night then off to bed for both of us. My sons sitter passed away almost 1 year ago and now my work hours are 6-2 so I have a little more time to keep the house together. Once in awhile I say to hell with it and let dishes sit or let laundry sit for one day.

Yup, my life is pretty much the same way. My husband doesn't work late like yours, but he DID used to work nights, so I was basically by myself ALL week long. Currently, he's home in the evenings, but with my girls' extra-curriculars, there's still not much time for anything (and we're about to add a 3rd child to the mix!).

I do what I can, and don't sweat the rest. My kids have good food to eat, clean clothes to wear. We do cook dinner most nights but on the nights we're too busy we don't sweat the fact that we have to heat something up out of a box or get take-out (we also use the crock-pot some). The house is messy but I don't apologize for that. I've got a young and busy family, and that's just the way it is.

Moms who seem to have it all together? They don't. They're just good at hiding their messes, I promise. :)

I hope it does help you to know that you're not the only one out there feeling this way. It is perfectly, and absolutely, NORMAL! I think all of us have that Mom friend who must have 36 hours in her day to keep her house clean and cook gourmet meals (whom we both envy and secretly resent just a little bit), but I'd like to believe these amazing women are the exception and not the rule. We can't all expect to live up to those standards...it's just not realistic, and will drive you mad! Someone told me once that until your children are teenagers, the house should be messy, because that means you are spending the time with your children. A messy house is the sign of an involved and busy family. I haven't even been working for the past couple of years, and we are still that household you described above, almost to a t. ; )
I hope this helps put things in perspective. You sound like you are doing great - just relax your expectations a little - its ok! And don't forget to schedule in a date night (even at home) at least once a month, and get out when you can (I have always found that a run or a yoga session helps me focus and get tasks done more efficiently than being at home and staring at everything that has to be done, so though it takes extra time, it can actually make up time, and you'll have more energy)!

You are NOT alone and you are NOT doing anything wrong. Hang in there, try not to wish this time away... let the house go a bit - it's ok to be messy. A messy house is a house that is LIVED in! Get a sitter once a month and make time to go out with your hubby. Also, set time each mont for you (and him to) to do your separate thing. It's so hard to find that time, but we do need to make it. Even if you have to (to avoid babysitter costs) go out for a date during the work week - daytime. Put the kids in school and daycare and spend a day together! Best of luck. Hang in there!

I can so relate. You've gotten some great tips and I don't want to repeat so here are two additional tips that saved my sanity that I didn't see listed yet.

1. Johnson & Johnson's Bedtime Bath!!!! It's in the lavendar bottle. I LOVED that stuff. If it works as well on your children as it did mine it will buy you some "me" time. I used this on nights when I had no energy or patience to deal with fusy children. I would serve a quick dinner so that I could get them into the bath faster. It really relaxs the kids and then they go to bed sooner and sleep longer. I figured with all the hustle and bustle of daily life they could use the extra sleep and I could use the break. :0) Since I was giving them a bath anyway it didn't require any extra time to throw this magic potion into the bath water.

2. I would dress them for bed in the clothing that they were going to wear the next day so that I didn't have to get them dressed in the mornings. I made sure the clothing was comfortable such as sweats, leggings, etc. (not jeans or anything with buttons or zippers) and then I would lay out their socks, shoes, hair clips, etc. This bought me a lot of time in the mornings when things were even more hectic for me.

Hope that helps! Hang in there!

We've all been there, no miracle cures but a little helpful advice and a lot of sympathy are all we can offer. You are doing a great job if your kids are eating healthy, sleeping well, doing well in school and spending time with you evenings and weekends! Your kids will be grown up so quickly and you'll look back at this time, what will you remember? Will it be a blur of trying to clean and do chores?? What will you miss about this time? rocking the baby, playing a game with your kids, taking them to a playground. Pick your favorites and Make the time for them! Schedule it! Because my two oldest had grown when I my youngest came along, I treasured the time with him more, wish I had with the first two. In the middle of the night, he would want to be rocked and I would think I'm exhausted and need to get up in the am to go to work, BUT I would enjoy the quiet time with just the two of us, remembering that he would grow out of it so quickly! When I felt I was spending my whole weekends trying to catch up on cleaning and errands and laundry and not having any fun with my son, I signed up for a mommy and me gymnastic class to make sure I scheduled in some fun together time.
Things will change so quickly, sit down with your husband and talk about how overwhelmed you are feeling, tell him to be sympathetic and listen and only add positive advise, then PLAN how you will thrive this year, not just survive. What fun things can you enjoy with your girls? What will make you happier? How can hubby help more if he is working late some evenings? pick up stuff at market on way home? Sometimes 10 minutes of his help goes a long long way! What can you plan for "Me time" to refresh and make your self a better mommy? What can you plan for hubby and me time to make your marriage even better?
(notice I didnt mention how to keep your house cleaner? cuz it's so far down on the list! You could read some of FLY lady's tips. (finally loving yourself) Her advice is treat your house cleaning as a blessing on the home you are lucky to have. I do not really follow her but I find reading her to be very, very inspiring!

As a SAHM, I seriously don't know how you working moms do it! I feel like you, and I m here all day. I think in a lot of cases as moms of young kids you feel like you're always chasing your tail! My two that are home are 2 and 4. And I am constantly revolving around 2-3 laundry baskets FULL of clothes to put away, and two full hampers to wash, a dishwasher to put away and then re-fill. Theres always a room or three to be dusted vacuumed, a bathroom to clean, a floor to mop...........
Then you try to fit in playing with your kids, reading to them etc. Its exhausting. But I think as kids get older it will get better. At least I hope :) Dont be so hard on yourself. Many families have to have two working parents like yours. Its just reality. While Im fortunate to stay home, we have our hard times. And me having to go back to work could happen. My hubby was laid off a few years ago and I picked up every odd job I could find and he went out and did hard labor for little money.
I don't see how moms of young kids can be organized! I will read your answers for tips lol Do the best you can. And focus on the most important job you have, your kids. So what if your house is a little messy, or under construction. If your kids are happy and smiling you've already succeeded. We dont get their child hoods back. Theres always time for cleaning later! Hang in there :)

You probably don't have time typically to see other posts like this from other moms... Any way you can afford to hire a cleaning person at all? Most people i know with 2 working parents have a cleaning person even if they constantly complain they have no money. I guess they've made it a priority to have one. Do you have any time at work? ie: grocery shop on your lunch hour? And I agree with making menus ahead of time and buying as much ready made as you can. By that I don't mean processed food but garlic already chopped, veggies already chopped etc. More expensive but saves time. Then aside from the crockpot, grilling is super quick and easy. Or a Foreman grill in bad weather. Chicken marinated all day in balsamic vinager salad dressing then grilled is excellent and easy. Not sure about your budget but as much money as you can throw at this do. There are dry cleaners that do regular laundry and many deliver/pickup. Does your school have a decent hot lunch program? Ours is great. More expensve but way easier. And I'd try to schedule the weekends some to get stuff done so you have less during the week. Then, as everyone said, it'll get better. This is a blip in your life.

Take a deep breath, and cut yourself some slack! You're not doing anything wrong. You're a busy mom doing the best you can, and the best you can is just fine. It's perfectly okay to focus on the stuff that matters (your husband, your kids, and YOU) and let the rest fall through the cracks for a while. My husband travels for work quite often, and it's hard even on my best days to cross everything off the to-do list and get to bed at a semi-decent hour. And that's with one child and a flexible job based at home.

Try not to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to the families that look like they have it 100% together. Trust me, they don't. You know that old saying "You can't compare your insides to someone else's outsides"? Repeat, and repeat again. I have a feeling that all the stress and pressure, and also erratic sleep, is contributing to your exhaustion.

For me, what helped was making peace with the fact that if I have a choice between spending time with my family or dusting the baseboards, I'll choose my family every time. My home isn't filthy, but it could use a good dusting, and laundry is spilling out of the hamper, and toys are strewn all over the living room, and...you get the picture. But I also spent a beautiful weekend with my husband and son, enjoying the outdoors and each other's company and making fun memories. Would I trade it for a house that passes the white glove test? Nope.

I echo the suggestion to rely on the Crock-Pot, especially now that the weather is getting cooler. Your kindergartener can sort laundry, empty wastebaskets, dust, vacuum, and more, so don't hesitate to put her to work. (Give her an allowance if you haven't already, and set up a chore chart so that she can check off her weekly chores to earn it.)

Another fun idea is to invite a few friends over for a dinner-prep party -- everyone brings the fixings for a big batch of soup or enough casseroles to feed all the families, and everyone goes home with a few meals to freeze. You get time with friends and lighten your load all at once. Also, scrambled eggs for dinner once in a while (or once a week) won't hurt.

And please do whatever you can to make time for yourself and your spouse a priority, even if it means neglecting any housework that doesn't have to be done right away. After he's home, take care of the tasks that you really can't put off, then let the rest go. Sit down with a glass of wine or a cup of hot chocolate after the girls are asleep, even if it's just for half an hour. Make a deal that you both get at least a couple of hours to yourselves on the weekend to do what makes you happy. You deserve it, and your kids will be happier for it in the long run.

Hugs to you...hang in there. It will get better. I promise.