Need Suggestions for Balancing Work and Home

I know that it has already been mentioned but I have to mention it again. flylady.net It is amazing!!!!

Hello M., A few things that might help: 1). Put a load of laundry in the washer right before bedtime, first thing in the morning move it to the dryer and start another load. When you get home move the load into the dryer. Now all you have to do in fold and hang cloths. 2). Prepare a crock pot meal the evening before and stick the crock in the fridge. You can do the same thing with a roasting pan. Take it out and plug it in or pop it in the oven. Dinner is now cooking. While you are preparing the next days meal load the dishwasher. Good luck, these two tricks saved my sanity.

There is a book and website about the Flylady (www.flylady.net) and the book is called Sink Reflections and it is a life-management system! Basically, it shows you how to do a little each day so things don't build up and everything is manageable. One thing is planning meals like some others said. It kind of is designed for someone who stays at home, but there is a whole section for working parents too. Good luck.

A crockpot is a wonderful thing. Find some easy recipes that you like. You can put frozen chicken and brocolli with cream soup and cook all day put some minute rice in 15 minutes or so before serving. You can do a roast with cream soup or other, meatballs if you cover them in pizza sauce and serve over noodles or on sub buns. I have also done the meatballs with cream soup, add a scoop of sour cream and mix served over noodles (sweedish meatballs). There are many ideas like this that are easy on the internet. Breakfast for dinner is also a good one, you can do the pancakes or french toast. As for cleaning, I pick one chore a day to do. It is easy to do a load of laundry or dishes as soon as dinner is done or even run the vacuum and my daughter helps. Good luck and don't get overwhelmed.

M.,
I am a SAHM and have 5 boys. I am very involved in their school and volunteer alot plus they do some sports too, so even though I don't work, I am gone alot. My best advice is to invest in several crock pots, 1 large one (5-6 quart size) and 2 smaller ones (3-4 quart size). They make crock pot bags now, they are like oven roasting bags and when dinner is done you throw the bag away wash the lid to the crock pot and clean up is done.
Another great work saver is an electric vegetable steamer. Just throw a bag of frozen veggies in and 15-20 minutes later done and you can walk away and do something else while its cooking. Most of the time a quick rinse and the steamer is clean. I even use it to boil my eggs I can do 2 dozen eggs in 30 minutes.
Try to plan a weeks worth of meals out so you dont have to even think about what to make for supper, for me that takes a lot of the stress out of it. I also try to buy a turkey or two or a couple of boneless hams when they are cheap and on sale, cook them and cut them up (cubed) and freeze them in one cup packages. Makes for easy casseroles!
With a little planning you can have a hot dinner waiting for you when you walk in the door at night with very little effort. Some of the things I do in the crock pot are :
1. Chicken or pork and add BBQ sauce or cream of chicken or mushroom soup. Its the same method but just change the ingredients around a bit.
2. A couple of boxes of Betty Crocker scalloped potatoes (or the store brand) made to the pkg directions and cooked on lowest setting (usually these only take 2-4 hours) and throw in a little of that ham you cubed up and put in the freezer.
3.Beef roast or pork roast with quartered potatoes, onions, and carrots. Add water to cover the botton 1/3 of crock pot.
4.Pre made meatballs with spaghetti sauce for meatball subs or just cook some spaghetti when you get home.
5. Pre made meatballs with cream of chicken or mushroom soup over them, or BBQ sauce, or sweet and sour sauce is good too.
6.Make up some Manwich (sloppy joes) and put it in the crock pot on simmer all day.
7.We like soup this way too, Pea soup or Bean soup is great and also another good use of that ham in the freezer. This is also one of those econmical dishes for when money is a bit tight. Chili is good simmered all day too.
8. Chicken leg and thighs are good to cook up in the crock pot then take the meat and make chicken salad, makes for good lunches or just have a sandwich night. Another good idea for sandwichs are those eggs cooked in the veggie steamer made into egg salad. Or the kids like boiled eggs in their lunches. Cooking up a pound of bacon (I put it on a cookie sheet and bake it ahead of time) and using it for turkey,(good use for the frozen turkey we made ahead) bacon, lettuce and cheese in a wrap is really good and easy too.
9. I fill my crock pot with scrubbed and pierced whole potatoes and cook on low all day (8 hours) Ready made baked potatoes and you can make a cheesy potato casserole out of the leftovers. I really like to do this in the summer because it doesnt heat up the kitchen.
10. Boneless skinless chicken breasts covered with stir fry sauce in the crock pot all day. When you get home put some stir fry veggies in the electric steamer, and some rice in a covered casserole (1 cup rice to 2 cups water and dash salt) in the microwave for 20 minutes, and you have stir fry for supper.
For the nights when I need something because I really didn't plan ahead these quick casseroles are stand bys for us:
1. Stuffing Casserole 2 boxes of stuffing mix- the water and butter called for on the package, 2 cans of cream of chicken soup, a can of corn drained, and 1 package of frozen broccoli, and 1 cup of that frozen turkey made (but thaw it in the microwave first) Bring the liquid to a boil pour over the dry ingredients and bake 350 degrees for 30 minutes and then top with cheese and bake again till its melted 45 minutes tops.
2. 6 frozen burritos in a cake pan and a sauce made from 1 15oz can tomato sauce, 1 10oz can tomato soup, 1 envelope chili seasoning and 2 cups water. Bring to a boil and pour over the burritos and bake 350 degrees for 30 minutes, top with shredded cheese and return to oven till melted.
3. Breakfast casserole- 5 eggs beaten with 1/4 cup milk mixed in. Add 1 cup cubed ham, 1 1/2 cup frozen hashbrowns or leftover cooked cubed potatoes, 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese, salt and pepper. Mix together the night before and refridgerate. bake 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes. (this one does take a little planning ahead).
Another thing I do is first thing in the morning I throw in a load of laundy and let it wash while I get everyone ready, then throw it in the dryer. I try to coordinate things that dont matter if they are wrinkled like sheets, blankets, towels, or undies and let them dry when I wont be available for folding, if its clothes then I try to throw them in the dryer as soon as I get home for the evening.
You would be suprised what a difference a quick wipe down of the bathroom does, and usually it only takes a few minutes. Also I like to get those bleach type drop in tablets for the toilets, it seems to keep them fresher longer with just a wipe down a couple times a week between thorough cleanings.
Try to enlist the help of your 8 year old. I believe daily chores encourage responsibility, and makes children appreciate the amount of work it takes to manage a household.
Anyway sorry this is so long and I really hope it helps you.

Hi M.,

Just a few suggestions...

When my son was 8, he was making his own lunches. That would help quite a bit. He understood the balance of a veggie or fruit, half sandwich and a beverage and snack early and has been taking care of that on his own since then. (He's 11 now.)As soon as he gets home from school, he makes his lunch for the next day. He only eats half a sandwich so in essence, he is making 2 days worth of lunch most days and everything else is already cut up and ready in plastic bags right from the grocery store and ready to just throw in his lunch bag.

Try making a few days of worth of dinner at a time. Whichever night is less busy.

Also as far as cleaning, I do is clean a room a day. Each room has a specific date and I don't put a lot of emphasis on the other rooms on the other days. That doesn't mean that the house is always spotless but everything gets hit at least once a week and everyone pitches in by making sure they put away what the use.

Also in our closets mine and my sons at least, we hang things in a way that makes it easy to just grab the next outfit. The night before I just grab the next outfit (when appropriate) and this helps to not have to think about it too much and also helps me keep my closet current. If an outfit comes up that doesn't fit or I just don't like, it lets me know that it's probably time to get rid of it.

Hope this helps

M.,

I don't think there is a perfect plan for anyone. However, just keep in mind you and the rest of us struggle the same everyday. My kids are also in sports and that keeps the cycle of the door poppin' open and closed. I make sure the veggies and fruit are thown in and don't sweat the house.... Remember in 100 years no one will care what your house looked like.

M.,
We had a similar issue when we had just 1 child, we both worked in IT and our schedules were not always predictable. We knew we wanted more kids and the cost of child care for a second child was just incredible. We checked out the au pair program, and we ended up hosting an au pair from South Africa. It worked out great, as our au pair was also responsible for doing our sons laundry, picking up toys, keeping his room neat and clean, making his bed, sorting through clothing he outgrew, etc. I would prepare dinners ahead of time and have her put them in the oven at a certain time. This was all in addition to daily child care for him in our own home. It just really helped us out and it was more affordable than you would think - especially when you have more than 1 child.

Right now we also have 19 month old twin boys so dinner time is chaotic at our house usually == plus we have homework for the 10 yr old. I do a lot of boxed type of dinners (like Campbells Chicken meals) and pre-made dinners from Costco. I was also doing Dream Dinners for awhile (there is a similar place in Orion Twp called Entre Vous) and that was nice too and they were easy to prepare.

You can also start having your daughter do chores around the house. My son at 8 yrs old was resp. for making his bed, keeping his room clean, helping set the table, put his dishes in the dishwasher, bring his laundry down to the laundry room, etc. Now at 10 he does those things plus has to put away his own clean clothes, empty the trash, help with yard at times pulling out weeds etc.

If you want to know more about the program please feel free to email me.

M.,

I haven't read all the responses yet, but you might want to check out FlyLady (www.flylady.net ) She has a great website that is free and has samples of control journals that you can use to put together your own. I use mine and it has all of my routines in it. Morning, afternoon (or after work) and evening. I only spend around 20 minutes or so cleaning a day. This is because I am constantly picking up after myself and I have drastically reduced the clutter in our house.

It will be a lot easier for you to manage the house because your husband WANTS to help. Put your list of things that need to be accomplished together, write it down and then go over the list with your husband. Which items can he do and which ones can you do.

Also, try making a menu. Then if your husband gets home before you do, he can start in on dinner. I always list the page number and book where the recipe can be found on my menu list, if I don't usually I forget.

If you are having trouble making a menu check out the website www.savingdinner.com

Leanne Ely has a number of great programs that help you put a balanced, healthy dinner on the table with a minimum amount of effort.

To get your daughter involved you might want to look at the website www.housefairy.org Pam teaches children how to clean their rooms and gives you ways to give them incentives to build and keep up routines and clean living spaces.

I hope these ideas help, good luck!

-C..

I work about 25 hours a week and cover most meals and most inside household chores. My husband and I work opposite shifts and we have chosen not to have childcare so my husband watches my son 3-4 hours in the afternoon and evening. Here's a couple ideas that work for me.

We also meal plan and I normally go grocery shopping on the weekend. I take my son with me and try to make it a fun experience for him.

I also vacuum and make it fun for him as well.. he's 1 1/2 so he can 'ride' the vacuum, I can put him in a sling and he'll fall asleep.. or we'll play with the hose a little while I'm vacuuming. If I dust I give him a cloth and he 'helps'. Sometimes it takes a little longer, but my hope is that he'll understand cleaning can be a little fun too.

I also will put a load in at night of laundry and then put it in the dryer in the morning.

The biggest thing for me is writing lists of things.. I used to do them a week in advance.. what needed to be done for the week and choosing a day to do it. Then in the morning I write the absolutes that HAVE to get done and work from there.

I've also decided to let some of the cleaning go.. I clean out most lived space by vacuuming every other day and I usually dust once a week.. dishes have to be done every day and I normally do them ( I can multitask and most men can't), but if your DH can then have him do it.

I clean the bathroom once a week when I give my son a bath.. our bathroom is small enough I can practically put my hand on him and the sink at the same time.. so it's still safe. I clean the shower while I'm in it with the washcloth I just used.

We do crockpot meals or I prep them the morning and then finish in the evening.

I figure the house isn't going to be as clean as I'd like the next few years, but that's fine.. the time with my son is more important. For special occasions (my son's 1st bday) I hired a cleaning lady to do the regular cleaning and took a week and did a little deep cleaning each day.

Hire someone to come in and clean once a week! I know this may sound too expensive but you're both working now and the money you spend will be worth it when you have more time and energy to spend with your family. Both you're kids are also old enough to have chores. Your sons will be considerably smaller and easier to handle but get them in the habit of helping around the house now. It's a good learning experience for them, helps them be independent and have a feeling of usefulness and accomplishment and can be a bonding time with you. Enlist your 8 year old to help cook. You can even let her choose the meals sometimes and 'cook' most of the meal herself.

It's not easy, we do it too. A couple of things that work for us are 1) hiring a person to clean your house. Added expense I know (and I swore I would NEVER let anyone clean my house), but it's by far one of the best things we have ever done. You can hire someone to do it every other week for $50-$70. This allows us to spend more time with our kids after work and on the weekends and releaves some stress. As a matter of fact, we are to the point where we have the whole house cleaned every other week and the main floor only on the opposite weeks. LOVE it.

2) We also try to utalize the crock pot a few times a month. We can drop some meat in there and dinner is done when we walk in the door. We use crock pot plactic liners too for less clean up.

3) I TRY and grocery shop on Saturday morning so I don't feel overwhelemed on Sundays having to get everything else ready for the week. Kind of spaces out the chores I guess. I like to get the chores done in the morning and allow the afternoons and evenings for play on the weekends if at all possible.

It's HARD to work full time, take care of the house (as you said clean, make dinners, lunches for the next day, clothes ready for everyone, baths....) and kids, but it's a way of life for most of us, so sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do things you swore you never would (ie hiring a housekeeper).

Good luck and try and stay sane :)

I don't believe it can be balanced. I worked while my children grew up. It became a family thing. Everyone helped because we needed the money and we wanted our kids to have a good childhood. Kids are intelligent. I'm sure your already amazed at how much your 8 year old can do. Lots of thanks for your help, motivates our kids to help even more. I had to quit worrying if my towels were folded correctly and let the children help fold them. We had sock matching in the living room. Children may not be able to cook but they can get out ingredients so the cooking goes smoothly. Good luck. And from my experience, the need for everyone to help has made the family closer, and children are friends for life because of the need to assist.

Have you tried Flylady.net. It is an awesome website!!

M. ~
First of all, there are 2 of you to do the household chores. I cook dinner and my husband does the dishes - even if they're not done how I would do them (I always hate dirty dishes sitting in the sink overnight, he prefers to wash them in the morning before he goes to work). My husband can do some laundry (he's been banished from anything good after shrinking a new sweater!), he will wash his work clothes; he folds all the whites, socks, underwear, etc. We both clean bathrooms, vacuum, dust. Since we both work full-time it's only fair.
I've gotten to where I make alot of fast dinners (I work 12 hour nights, so I wake up, make dinner, get ready for work). Chicken on the grill with rice a roni & a veggie; crock pot dinners; hamburger helper; pork chops on the grill with baked potatoes and veggies; etc. On my nights off I'll make the dinners that take more time. Banquet makes some good crock pot dinners (freezer aisle), and Campbell's makes Supper Bakes that are really good - you just add your own meat (by the hamburger helper). Not every dinner has to be totally nutricious - sloppy joes, hamburgers, pizza are all pretty quick. I make baked ore ida fast food french fries with the hamburgers, sloppy joes and ham steak, or sometimes we just have chips with them. And now that my son is older (he's 22), he makes some of the dinners and I can get an extra 1/2 hour of sleep (he also takes care of the garbage, litter box and cuts the grass). I usually set out what I'm making for dinner in the morning when I go to bed so that it's thawed out in time to cook when I get up.
You'll just have to sit with your husband and figure out what will work for you.
good luck!
D.

Hi M.. Do you guys plan meals a night ahead? You know, get meat out of the freezer to thaw and have an idea what you are making the next day? That definitly helps when you're short on time. Also, on your days off you could make double or triple meals and freeze family sized portions to be re-heated or cooked when you're in a pinch (lasagna is a freezer pleaser, and if you get it out the night before to thaw, it's practically ready when you are if you've already cooked it). Another idea is to prepare ingredients ahead of time when possible for some of your favorite meals to cut down on the prep time, and freeze when appropriate. You may want to look at a cook book designed for families who are always on the go; they can give you quick, easy meal ideas. But the best advice I can give you is simply to plan ahead as much as possible and keep talking to your husband. The fact that he helps out puts you guys ahead of the game (good for you!).
As far as household chores go, try not to stress. Delegate some chores to your daughter, and maybe get a leg up on laundry by starting a load first thing in the morning and throwing it in the dryer when you get home. The rest can usually wait until later or can be helped by everyone picking up after themselves. Even the two year old--can he undress and put his dirty clothes away? My son loves to help this way. If not, he can cleanup his toys.
Good luck to you, and I hope something helps!
L.

There are no easy answers. Here is what I have found to work for us. I have a chore chart, it details out which nights I do laudry, clean bathroom etc. It helps keep my husband and I on the same page. I do lunches in the morning, found it easier to do when the kitchen was already messy from breakfast. Laundry I sort and put a load next to the washer in the morning before I walk out the door, then when I come home I pop it in the washer first thing, but the time dinner is done it is ready to be moved to the dryer and then folded later or after the kids are in bed. I cook an extra dinner on Saturday that I reheat for Tuesday. Sunday dinner I cook double what I would normally make and have leftovers Monday. Wednesday is usually a pizza night, but I cook ahead enough for Thursday and then left overs Friday. Cleaning is broken up with a good portion on Saturday morning before the kids get up. The best advice I got once was divide and conguer, if you are playing with kids, have your husband do a quick chore and vice versa-it works once you get use to it. I have three kids, work full time and my husband travels alot. I feel very organized and my house is usually kept in working order. Try out different systems, you will find on. If you are both working full time, you might consider hiring a college student to help you clean on Saturday mornings. Just some thoughts.

Dear M.,

I have worked full time for the last 27rs. When our boys were little, like your children, are we worked opposite shifts then as they all were in school all day we both switched to day shift. We are both in the medical field so switching shifts was possible. We did have a few rules about house hold chores and errands. Maybe some of these will help you.

First one home started laundry. We did at least 2 loads per day. If we waited until the weekend there was so much laundry to do it took most of the day. By doing it daily it was managable.

Meals: Every Friday night I did a grocery list and still do. Along with the list I create a dinner menu for the week. By setting up a menu I made sure I had everything to make dinner in the house, I could pull things out in the morning so meat was thawed ect. During the week I tried to make meals that could be completed within a 1/2 hour to 45 min time frame. On Sunday, I would make a nicer dinner and sometimes set up meals for the week. Example, when you get home from grocery shopping and meatloaf in on the menu, before you put everything away, mix up the meatloaf and put it in a container that can go from freezer to refridgerator to oven. Now you can purchase, in the freezer section already chopped onions and peppers, I used to do that on the weekend and freeze them in ziplock bags so all I had to do was toss them in when I was cooking. Now there are so many time savers for meals available. If you have a crock pot, use it. Also a George Foreman grill can be a life saver. Save time by setting up the menu so that if you have to brown ground beef for one dinner, ground enough to use for another dinner and freeze. Or grill extra chicken breasts so you can use it for other meals.

House work has to be a team effort. As our boys got older they were given chores to help out. Their spaces were their responsibility. They also liked to help with dinner, making salad was usually the first chore they started with. All 3 of my sons can cook and clean. By the time they were in high school they could also do laundry. On the weekends we would get up, get our chores done so we could spend the rest of the time doing family things. Unfortunatly house hold maintenance is just something that has to be done. So getting it done so we could spend time with our sons was the most important thing. There was little league, soccor games we couldn't miss.

When my sons were in their teens, they all made extra money baby sitting and cleaning houses. If you have family or friends with teenagers looking for summer jobs, you might be able to have one of them come in and clean one day a week. Just keeping bathrooms and floors done is a huge help or doing the yard work so your husband can help with the inside chores. All 3 of my sons can cook and clean, their girlfriends love it!

I hope some of this helps. When I think back on those years they went by so fast but I would not have changed it for the world. My sons have grown into men I love and respect. Just remember, if it comes down to spending time as a family or doing dishes, the dishes can wait, your children will grow up so fast. Each stage will bring new challenges so be prepared to adjust schedules and chores. Remember to have fun along the way.

Good luck,
Pat

I was also going to suggest making a weekly menu. Then you know ahead of time what you want to cook. A great cookbook full of wonderful 'quick' meals is 'Nigella Express'. Super yummy recipes and nothing takes a tremendous amount of prep work or effort. Some baked dishes cook for an hour...but the prep is minimal. So you have that hour to sit and relax or do something else.

I am SAHM, but I do have a daily schedule of what 'chores' need to be done. If I don't, then it just gets overwhelming trying to do it all in one day and take care of our highly active 9 month old.

I too think everyone should pitch in. Your daughter is old enough she can help clear the table etc... and do light chores.... maybe empty the bathroom trash cans or something. My husband and I hold the attitude 'if you live here, you help'.

HI M.,
It is difficult being a full time working mom with 2 kids. But, here are some things I've found to help in our house.
1) Find a meal prep service (Dream Dinners, Entre Vous) and buy a month worth of meals from them. The cost is about the same (or less)than a month worth of groceries. This makes meal time much easier. I take a bag out of the freezer and put in the fridge before I leave for work. When I get home it's thawed and ready to cook. You have a nice meal on the table in under 30 min.

2) I am obsessive about having a clean house. So, in the evenings my kids (7yrs & 4.5 yrs)help clean up, get their back packs/snacks/water bottles ready while I'm cleaning up the kitchen.

3) Do 1 load of laundry a day. I wash/dry/put away 1 load a day. This cuts down on the amount I have to do on the weekend. I leave ironing for Sat.

4) Give yourself 15 min a night to clean up 1 room of the house. You will be amazed at what you can do in 15 min.

5) Get up early on Sat and do deep cleaing before soccer games, gymnastics. That way the entire house is clean and I can enjoy my weekend (and sleep in on Sunday).

I hope these tips help you. It's difficult but doable, you just have to sit down and plan. Good luck!

M.,

I certainly know where you are coming from as I have worked full-time and raised my two kids (one a high school senior now and the other a college freshman) since they were infants. It was even more difficult for me as my husband wasn't always good at helping out, not until many years later. I still do a majority of the yard work. It really takes a husband and wife working together, dividing up chores according to who does what best to make it work. Give your kids chores to do appropriate to their age, this is very important. You also have to learn to just let some things go, or set it aside until time allows you to get to it. I found that if everyone takes care of their own things for starters it really eliminates a lot of clutter. Then we work according to our schedules, such as who ever gets home first starts dinner, the other cleans up the dishes, things like that. You also have to make a more personal decision as to what is more important, having the perfect home or doing things with your kids and giving yourself some very important down time. I have always been very involved in my children's school and extra curricular activities, scouts, band, 4H, sports, all very busy groups. It has meant I am home little but where my kids are a lot and that, I believe, has made all the difference in their success in school and life. My Mom tells me whenever I complain about how messy the house is "it's always going to be there, your boys won't". I know that is very true since my two are almost out of the house. During the busy years of raising families our homes are truley the nesting places. It should be a place of respite, resting and regrouping with your family. This philosphy does not mean don't change the bedding or scrub the bathrooms, that kind of cleaning is necessary for raising healthy kids too, what I am saying is don't let trying to keep a House Beautiful get in the way of enjoying the really short time you have with your kids. If you don't burden yourself with that you will find a way to balance what is required from that which is desired. Both will come in time but by then the little chickies will have flown the nest and you will miss all their activity and clutter more than you ever thought possible.

Best of luck to you,
S.

My husband has been primarily a stay at home father for 4 1/2 years. However, there have been periods where he has worked and we (or I) would be getting home after 5:00 without dinner made. I learned that crock pot meals can make a nice dinner, but also planning. I would think about what I wanted to do ahead of time and then the night before, or that morning, would do the prep work - for example put the chicken in a pan so it was ready to in the oven, or start the beef to marinating. I would also cut up any vegetables (we only use fresh) so those were ready. Then when I got home I just had to throw it in the oven or on the stove. While dinner was cooking, I would pick out clothes or pack lunches so that was done. We did very little cleaning during the week - usually had the kids pick up their mess and get dirty clothes into the clothes basket. Normal, major, cleaning took place on Saturday. This allowed us to have relaxation time after the kids were in bed. Our daughters, 4.5 & 3, are a great help at picking up their toys and clothes as well and that has always been their "chore".

Hi M.,

I have two kids, ages 20 months and 2 and a half, and both my husband and I work full time. The only thing that saves me, is that I do a lot of meal planning now and almost always cook enough on the weekends to freeze additional meals to use throughout the week. Fresh frozen veggies are great too (I was wasting a lot of fresh veggies because I wasn't cooking as much during the week). This has been a HUGE time-saver and something homemade is always available.

Hope it helps!

K.

I am a Career mom and my husband is a truck driver so he's never home. I have a 10 and a 4 year old. My solution would be to start training your 8yr old daughter to help. At 8, mine was unloading the dishwasher, helping with the laundry, and vacuuming. In my house I do the cleaning on Saturdays (with my daughter's help), and Sunday is our free day. I keep easy, ready to make food for during the week or defrost it the night before so it's ready when I get home. My sister's solution is to cook, on the weekend while she is cleaning, all the meals for the week and freeze/refrigerate them. That way all she has to do is zap them after work and she's done.

I would encourage all family members to make sure they pick up messes before they move on to something else. Then, I would make a list of specific chores for each night and post it on the fridge. If you and your husband each do 1 or 2 things a night you shoul keep up on it. Then just stick to the schedule no matter what!!

Good Luck...it's exhausting working full time with young children!!

How about after dinner everyone helps clean up and prep the next days meals. Youngest can watch and color. On the weekend plan a weeks menu, g shop. And each night you make dinner make 2 extras to freeze. Soon you'll have a rotating stock. I mostly make a big pot of rice, and an Indian lentil dish. I add fresh veggies as I go. Store cut veggies in glass containers in the fridge, it's easier to eat healthy if it's at hand. Pick a few hours over the weekend to tidy, laundry, school work, family time. Make time to play as a family too, go to the zoo, movie and popcorn night.
Thats just my guess anyway, good luck. A. H

Hi M.,
I recently returned to work full-time, as well - and my husband is often gone for 12 hour days. We have 2 children, 16 months & 3 years. When I returned, I created a schedule of weekly routines so that every evening I had a different 'project' to do. Sunday, we cook a big meal so we have left-overs for Monday and I also plan my meals for the week. Monday evening I clean out the fridge (because garbage day is Tuesday) & my husband gets the grocery order. Then I prepare a "crockpot meal" (b/c we just had leftovers)for Tuesday, then on Tuesday, it's my husband's night to do his laundry, Wed. is bath night, Thursday is mine & the girls' laundry, while I pay bills on line. The weekends are meant for Family - we hang out with the kids on Saturday unless something pressing comes up (the toilet needs fixing!). AND, since we're both working, I hired a cleaning lady. 60 bucks every two weeks is WELL worth it! Then on the alternate weeks, I freshen up the bathroom, dust & whatever other light duties need to be done on Wed. night. Even though we stray from the schedule from time to time, just having it makes me more sane - and it's easy to get back on it when it's written out & posted on the refrigerator. Good luck -and one last thing, it may take a bit of time, but you WILL find this balance!

I cleaned at night after my son went to bed... it was not a 'deep' clean, only the quick pick up. I never was one to lay out my clothes as I only changed my mind the next day or the weather would not allow what I would pick out...

I saved the deep cleaning for the weekend and with the quick pick up's, it was not too bad...

Now, I still am a SAHM, but I also Work from Home and my home does need to be tidy for what I do as I do not want my clients tripping over things! I pick up everyday in the morning after posting my ads on my other sources (or editing my perk / website for deals). Then; I get to work cleaning the bedrooms and bathroom. I then do the living area and have my son put his toys away. The kitchen is always last and that takes me to lunchtime. (all the while I have fun with my son!)

This makes it perfect for when I have a deep cleaning on the weekend! I only have a small bit to do... My hubby takes care of things in the evening as I worked hard during the day (or I may be preparing for my client coming in for the evening session.). It is awesome when I have a late client as the house is clean and I just have to do the bedrooms and clean the bathroom and my studio! These are the best days!

Trust me... It takes some time and patience, but you will find your balance. I also suggest having your 8yr old pitch in with things as she is old enough (I recall vividly the duties I had to do at that age!). This should help you on time, too...

Good Luck and be patient! You have two children and a reason not to have the Perfectly clean home at this time! :) LOL

Your struggles are one that all working praents face. The way I do it is - I have a shelf in the pantry that contains "lunch foods" and a drawer in teh fridge. They ahve to pick a fruit, drink, and 2 items for lunch on their own right after school when we empty teh lunch box when we get home. I add the sandwich in the morning. All of my kids have little jobs (they are 3,4,6 years old). It includes cleanign their floors for the all of them and picking up toys. We do it as the bath water is filling in their tubs at night. Than my husband and I take on one household cleaning task a night. It may be laundry, clean a bathroom or so on. We never have the entire house clean at one time becuase we only do a room a day and on a continual basis but it works. If you and your husband jsut focus on one room a day together you can bust it out in 20 minutes and its time to relax.

As for the meals - I make largeer amounts of food on Mondays so we have eat it duringthe week. For example I will make spagetti with meatballs on Sunday. I will make extra meatballs and we will have meatball subs one night.

Good luck - I know it can be very tiring but as long as your have a great husbamd who is willing to help you work as a team to get it done quickly.

Ah the balancing act for mom's working full-time outside the home. It is a challenge, but one that can be rewarding for you as well as your family. I have always worked since my children were born so I know what you are going through. My first advice would be to tackle laundry in the morning, put a load in and dry a load and fold a load, if you can get into this routine, it is very easy to stay caught up all of the time. With a family of four, one to two loads a day should work fine to say caught up even though you may be using a bit more water and energy to do so, but your sanity is worth it. As for the rest of the cleaning, enlist your husband and both of your children to help pick up the common areas of your home before they go to bed each night and after dinner have everyone pitch in with cleaning up so that the table, counters, stove, floors are washed and all dishes are finished, leaving none in the sink for morning. If everyone helps in this way, it will save everyone a lot of grief. As for vaccuming and bathrooms, you could try to vaccumm a couple of times a week when you find a spare minute or maybe enlist your 8 year old to do so while you read a book to your 2 year old or maybe you and your husband can switch on and off with this particular chore, as for the bathrooms, keep a container of those handy clorox wipes under the sink and wipe the sink, counters, toilets and floors up daily before you jump in the showers, this will help keep them sanitary and pretty clean until the weekend. Ah for the weekend, use this time for a thorough cleaning and bedding change and everyone again should be helping with this. Finally for dinners, I have done a host of things from making a few nicer things on Sunday for the week and then having stand-bys on hand like tacos, sloppy joes, chicken fajitas, etc. I have also went to those make your meals places, they are a bit pricey but the food is pretty good and easy. It helps to grocery shop on Sunday and have a meal plan in mind. I will sometimes grocery shop on my way home from work or during my lunch break if the weather will cooperate, I just take a late lunch. If all else fails hire a housecleaner for every other week and try the laundry schedule and make sure that your husband is helping out as much as you. Good Luck!!!

I too am a full time working mom, with a full time working husband, and I'm crazy enough to throw college classes in there too! haha I usually get back home with the kids around 5:30 and bed time is 8:30, so i try to stick to meals that are good, but that the kids like, and are quick.
but you can only eat so much spaghetti and tacos! haha
treat your kitchen like a restaurant. and take the time to "prep cook". Everytime a recipe calls for some diced onion, I dice a very large vidalia, use what is needed, then keep the rest in a container in the fridge, so that the next time i need diced onion, its ready to go, saves me time. campbells soup is a livesaver/timesaver to cook with. brown some chicken in butter or olive oil, salt and pepper it, throw a can of cream of mushroom or cream of chicken (or whatever) and boom....done...serve it over rice or noodles.
things like certain casseroles or meatloaf, can be assembled the night before, and sit in the fridge, pop it in the oven when you get home, and do other things while it cooks. Then there is always the crock pot.

We are a family of four like yours, and unfortunately...EVERY day is laundry day. To make it easier though, we bought a 3 compartment hamper. I found mine at Target, it is sturdy metal with 3 canvas compartments that can be washed as well...we use one for whites, one for blues/greens and one for reds/blacks. (hot, warm, cold) Sort the dirty clothes as you go...your 8 year old might even find it fun! My kids are always getting changed into their PJ's at night and yelling down the stairs, "mom...which one does blue go in?" when one is full, pop it in the washer.

For Christmas, we got our daughter a Barbie Vacuum, at Sears. It is a real vaccuum made by bissell. She loves to use it, and she does her own room, and usually I use that thing to do the stairs, because it's smaller. Anything helps.

Another big lifesaver....Lysol pop up wipes. I keep them in every bathroom. A quick wipe down with a few of those, and the bathroom is clean enough, until I can do a full scrubbing when I have more time.

Hope it helped a little

Hire a house cleaner
I cook the weeks meals on Saturday and Sunday so that there are leftovers for the rest of the week
I pay bills over my lunch hour and take care of that kind of stuff.

I've been working full time the whole time so i do agree that you will need to get used to the new arrangement. But, over the years, those are the few things that I found help out a lot.

Good luck!

I know what you are going through. I think we finally got it down and it has been about 3 years of trying. However, the family plays a big part of it. Our 4 year old does not go to bed with out picking up anything she got out, and she goes upto bed at 7:30. We usually get home about 4:30, and I start dinner she has some play time and a drink and tells me about her day. Her dad gets home about 5:15-5:30, we sit down and eat then clean up the area as a family. The kitchen clean up was our biggest hang up for a long time. Now that we do it together everything seems to fall into play. Since our daughter picks up after herself, we manage to keep the house work just to the basic stuff on Saturday morning, or thursday night when my husband is doing yard work. Just figure out what works best for you and learn not to sweat the small stuff.
I hope this helps.

M.,
I still haven't figured out the cleaning part. I don't usually get home from work until 6:30-7:00 and kids (3 yrs & 13 months) go up for their baths at 8pm. Cleaning is put on the back burner, unfortunately. I do have 3 bins on the kitchen table for paperwork: 1 for incoming mail, 1 for stuff to be filed, and 1 for shred (bills are thrown in a drawer and sorted on the weekend when bills are paid). However, for meals I try to do some cooking on the weekends. My husband is paranoid about leaving a crock-pot plugged in when no one is home, so I will often do crock-pot meals on the weekends and freeze it. I also buy chicken and ground meat in bulk, cook some of it and freeze it in 1lb packages. It's easy to pull a bag of cooked meat out of the freezer in the morning and put it in the frig to thaw, or when we get home and defrost in either hot water or the microwave. Cut up chicken can be thrown into soups while still frozen. I also buy a lot of peppers in the summer when they are cheaper. Cut them into slices and freeze. They're great for any recipe where peppers need to be cooked, and you can dice them frozen.
Thanks for the great question. I got a lot of ideas from the other moms.

I have always worked full time and so does my husband. We have three kids that have activities every night. That being said here are my system. First I found out when I work best. I get more done in the morning, so I wake up first (5:30) and get through the shower and then I wake up the next two kids. While they shower, I do laundry (set on a timer) and dishes (also on a a timer). I often make a meal in a slow cooker in the winter, since the kids need to eat before their practices at night. I also make large quantities of everything and whatever isn't eaten I freeze. Then I can pull it out later. If I expect the leftovers to be eaten within a couple days it doesn't happen at our house. I also keep lots of soup on hand for a quick kids meal or Banquet meals ($1) for a after school snack/meal. As the kids get older (9, 11, 13) they get home at 3 and eat and then have practice, so they don't eat again until 8. That's why I have their dinner ready for them and I don't get home until 6 and I pick up and go.

The weekly menu helps to coordinate the days everyone is running with the quick meals and tacos for the days we're together.

I also would suggest a cleaning service. I get the big jobs done every two weeks and it really helps since my kids have activities literally every night.

Our laundry system came from my sister in law. Have baskets for each child in the laundry room for each person. Have a bin for whites, lights and darks. Then I have the RUSH basket for things that they need within a day or two (uniforms, gym clothes, special shirt). I put in a load in the morning to wash during the day, then when I get home I switch them and do a second if necessary. The kids often move the clothes that were washed in the afternoon to the dryer, so they are ready to fold when I get home or the kids can put them in the baskets. The baskets make the kids responsible for putting their things away and it is easier to find missing items if they are not put away.

I have a set closet for all uniforms so they are easier to find. I also have a bag for each activity. For instance dance bag, soccer bag, baseball bag, gym bag for each. So when the shoes, socks, or other supplies are needed for practice or a game, they should be in the "bag". This saves that last minute run through the house.

I also grocery shop during practices, but only if necessary. The most efficient is to have my husband put the kids to bed that night and I go get groceries at 9-10 PM. There is no one there, so you can get things fast. Also I have everyone put things that are needed on "the list". If your shampoo or favorite soup isn't on the list, I don't know and don't buy it. It takes one thing off my mind.

This is doable, especially if you husband picks up his share of the work.

M. - You are a mom, wife and employee. If that wasn't enough you are also a household engineer. Do not feel guilty about not handling it all. I have a cleaning team bi-weekly to do the hard stuff. We tidy what needs to be done, but I leave the real cleaning for them. It is wonderful not to have it hanging over our heads all the time, and we have extra time to enjoy our family.

what chores do your children do? I'm not thinking that they should do the heavy cleaning, but they can do the picking out of clothes, helping with lunches, etc... Even the 2 year old can make sure the clutter of toys is cleaned up prior to going to bed. It may take a bit longer at first, but they'll be better off in the long run, plus you and your husband are doing it with the kids!!!Then they may surprise you and do it on their own after they finish playing.

Reading these other responses, I'm impressed with the energy level! I won't repeat their advice like meal planning, spreading housework throughout the week, and getting help from your daughter. But what I've also had to do is lower my expectations. Not always easy, but I discovered trying to be a superwoman was wearing me out emotionally. My job has gotten steadily more demanding, I'm getting steadily older, and something had to give. Since we can't afford a housekeeper, the cleaning is not what it was when I was a SAHM, and meals are less wholesome some days. I've doubled the kids chores now that they're older (9,11 & 13) but they are clearly less thorough than I am and that has to be okay so long as they're doing their best. During the fall my job hours increase and so does the kids schedules, so I have used Dream Dinners and it was great. Need a big freezer though.

Hi M.,

This can definitely be a challenge! My children are older (12 & 15), so they help out quite a bit now.

Here are a few things I did when they were younger:

1. Meal plan--I spend time planning 10 days worth of meals at a time. This is a huge time-saver for me. I cross-reference my calendar for activities (cooked simpler meals these days) and then set up the plan. I use my crockpot often. I also have an oven with the delay-bake feature. I use this all the time. It makes a huge difference. We also check the weather to see what days are good for my husband to grill.

2. I do laundry on Thursday/Friday evenings. It is easy to throw a load in while I am cooking dinner and opens up the weekends.

3. Cleaning--this is my biggest challenge! I keep saying I need to use the FLYlady system but just haven't gotten on board with that yet! My children help out a lot now that they are older. I hate taking an entire morning on the weekend to clean the house. My husband is also very helpful, so we both do things around the house during the week. I bought in-box trays to manage the paper coming into the house as well as a 3-slot wall hanger (in the pantry) for paperwork that we will need to reference. Anything requiring a signature goes on my placemat on the dining room table. I keep a basket in the family room for my reading material. I set aside Friday nights as my "down time" for catching up on magazines, etc. The clutter can get out of control quickly, so I try to keep on top of this. We have set aside days for cleaning certain rooms (bathrooms on Thursday, dusting on Friday, etc.) Vacuuming is done daily (we have 2 cats) and we mop floors, etc. on the weekend.

I think that if you start with the meal planning, your evening will be a little more organized. I find that on days I don't follow the meal plan, I get less done around the house. Since I am deciding what to make and then taking time to actually make it, I have less time for other things. It might help to get 2 days worth of clothes organized and then on the opposite days use that time to get a few chores done.

I hope this helps! I know it can feel so overwhelming until you get into a routine that works for you.

Good luck!
~B.