Extreme Morning Grumpiness with My 6 1/2 Year Old

C.,
I have the same problem with my 7 year old son, I found that taking the shower at 7pm then reading a story and going to bed no later than 8pm didn't seem to change him too much (has a hard time falling asleep). What really helps us is that I throw his clothes in the dryer in the morning right before I wake him up. He loves putting on warm/hot clothes, it seems to perk him up and dress much faster and easier. Then he watches a few min of cartoons while I pack his lunch and off to school we go without too much grumpiness.
Good Luck

it sounds like she really doesn't enjoy school, maybe you can get a chance to be alone with her and get to the bottom of how she feels about school and life. A lot of kids feel powerless in life, especially when they are forced to go to school every day and sit in a room, ect. instead of doing what kids love, which is explore, daydream, feel powerful, etc.

Maybe she is a night person. Why not choose the clothes and the breakfast the night before. She might not like something at school. C

Hi C.,

I have a 7 year old boy, and we went through this stage, maybe I can help.

This is a tough age for kids, if she's in kindergarten or 1st grade, she is adjusting to the schedules and responsibilities. Not to mention being introduced to a whole new atmosphere. Here's what we did:

First, I made sure we had nightly routines. For example, when he gets home from school I spend one one on time with him. Talking about his day, his feelings, playing games, coloring, ect. It makes him feel important and give us some special time together, also I stay connected to what's going on with him and how he's feeling/dealing. It doesn't have to be very long, I spend anywhere from a 1/2 hour to 2 hours just focusing on him, depending on time and needs of my other kids & before it gets crazy with dinner, tubs, ect.

Then we do dinner, clean up, then its tub time. Then we prepare for the next day. I do lunches, and he will help. Then we pick out clothes for the next day. I lay out "2" choices and he picks what he wants (I will also let him make special requests if there is something else he really wants to wear). Then I take breakfast requests, and lay everything out.

Then we sit down and do homework and read books every night. Then he has about a 1/2 hr-45 min to have free time. Play a game, read, watch tv, ect. And bedtime is 8:30p during the week (9:30p on Friday & Saturday nights, but only if week went well)

***

In the morning, I make sure I wake them with enough time for everyone to wake up a little. I usually wake my 7 year old at 7am, school starts at 8:15a.

I gentally and calmly go in, kiss him, and tell him it's time to start our day. I sit and gentally wake him for a few minutes. With him this works for us because he wakes up calmly instead of rushed out of bed. We use humor at our house in many situations too, BUT in the morning if he was in a bad mood it only made it worse.

Because we have layed out everything the night before, mornings go smoother. (sometimes if he is fast, he gets free time to watch tv) I also made a checklist on a magnetic dry erase board, which is on our fridge. It basically lists things he has to do in order he has to do them. For example, eat, clean up area, brush teeth, wash face, get dressed, and make bed. It can be whatever, but it helps him know what he has to do and what is expected of him. He loves checking his things off himself.

If he is a morning grump, I remind him if he doesn't get happy he will lose 15 minutes at bedtime each reminder after I remind him the first time. I haven't had to remind him in a long time.

In the very beginning when I was trying to find something that worked for us, I had a happy face chart. Every morning that he was in a good mood, I placed a happy face on that day of the week, and if it went well all week, I'd let him pick our Friday night activity or take him to the video store and let him pick the movie. This helped, but he really needed a structured, consistent schedule, and to be able to wake up a little. Now sometimes activities like sports or something throw our schedule out of whack, but I try to stay as close as possible. I never have issues in the mornings now!

I apologize for this being so long, but I wanted to share what we've done, maybe give you some ideas. Basically, try to find something that fits with her personality. They say it take about a month or so to change a habit, so go slow and keep trying. Parenting is all about trial and error, and each child is different. Eventually you will find something that works for your family.

Oh and one last thing (I promise)... When she and you have a moment together and she is in a good mood, have a talk with her. Don't talk to her as a child, but like you respect her as a little person (you may already do this) and just let her know it hurts your feelings and her brother's feelings in the morning when she is grumpy or mean. Ask her how she would feel if someone was mean or grumpy to her in the morning. Ask her what makes her grumpy in the mornings, and how you might be able to help her be happywhen she wakes up. This will help her think of empathy towards others as well as feel important because you are asking her for suggestions to help her.

Ok I'm done, lol. Hope I've helped some, or at least given you some ideas on how you want to handle things. Good luck!

Hi C.,

Several things to consider. First, is your daughter in bed by 8pm on school nights? If not, she needs more sleep and that could help. Second, try to get at the root of what she's unhappy about...the underlying reason she's not happy. Was the divorce recent...is she angry about that?

I have a 5 and 6 year old at home and here is what we have done and hopefully would be helpful to you....

1. Pick out two or three outfit suggestions for her the night before and have her choose which one she wants for the next day.

2. Set an alarm in her room for 15 minutes earlier than your normal wake up time...this gives her time to adjust to waking up.

3. If she's still in bed, rub her back gently and calmly ask her to come down to breakfast. Ask her what she'd like for breakfast giving her two choices (in our case it's always cereal or oatmeal with pancakes,eggs etc on weekends.) they need to feel empowered to make some choices at this age.

4. Use a rewards chart to encourage positive behavior (Target has these and they can also be found online on Amazon)...if not make your own and use stickers...or use a jar and marbles.

Here's an example of what we have on our chart at home.
Gets dressed
brushes teeth
cleans room
makes bed
does homework
feeds cat
practices instrument
no whining all day
no hitting
does something nice for someone
says please and thank you
takes bath
(and whatever works for your family)

At the end of the week...add up the stickers, marbles or whatever you used for your child and take her to the dollar store to pick out an item.

We've switched from the chart to marbles in a jar now and when they reach 50 marbles, they can choose a $5 item at the store...or they can work towards getting a toy or item they've been wishing for. My daughter wants a $10 item this week, so she has to save up 100 marbles.

We also don't allow tv during the week and wow...has that made a difference in the amount of whining and bad behavior in our household. My daughter no longer rushes through her homework and actually enjoys practicing her piano. The first day I instituted my new rule, my kids sulked, whined and basically hated me. I bought some fun workbooks, art projects and games and the kids have found new ways to enjoy there time without whining that there is nothing to do and their bored. Don't cave in to tv as an easy out. I hope I don't sound preachy, just think it works and want to be helpful. Good luck!

Both of my girls went through it. I call it the 6 year old/1st grade attitude, lol. My third grader has grown out of it, we actually had it more with her after school - hungry, tired, just needed some mommy time and not a little sister bugging her. Guess what though, little sister is now 6 and in first grade and doing the same grumpy attitude. So on the brighter side, hopefully she will outgrow it. I agree with everyone else too, make sure that she is getting to bed by 8-8:30pm at the latest, check on her through the night a few times to see if she is getting a restful night sleep. Make sure she is getting enough to eat and make the morning as uneventful as possible.
I wake up about 10 minutes before the girls, turn on the coffee pot for me and get their breakfast ready, (hot oatmeal, the little instant packets in different flavors) and then wake them up with kisses and hugs and very positive talk about school. If there is anything special going on I say "today is picture day, who is excited?" Or, "remember today's is Brownies after school, oh you are going to have so much fun!" Something to have them looking forward to the day. Then they go right to the table and eat - still half asleep. First one done gets to snuggle with me for a few minutes while the other one gets dressed. Then the other one snuggles with me while the other gets dressed. We talk about school and events etc and before we know it we are leaving for school 20 minutes early. Because the sooner they are ready the sooner we get to school and the sooner we get to school the more play time they get on the play ground until the bell rings. It's up to them if they want to waste time and not get to play in the morning.
That is just what works for us - but I always keep it positive. I say my job is in marketing - it is all how you market it to the kids as to how they will react. My kids LOVE summer school! WHY? Because I told them how much fun they are going to have. All of the other kids will be bored during the summer while they get to go and have fun - and they do because I set the expectation.

Hope this helps a little!
Good Luck!
M. S

Hi C.

You have a "mini" "me"..lol...I was so bad in the mornings as a kid my mom would refuse to go near me once I could wake myself and get off to school.
Sounds like she is just NOT a morning person. A few things that WILL HELP...
1-A. & 5. Once she is home from school be sure to tell her that her morning moods are hurtful.
1. Make bedtime early enough that she gets 10 hrs sleep.
2. Ease her into the wake up starting 30-45 minutes prior to her actually needing to be up (no rushing allowed for us non- morning creatures)
3. If I guess correctly she does not really eat well if at all in the AM...have warm coco or decaf tea for her highness ( yes we do think we are a princess in the AM not to be confused with the other times of the day!..lol I know sounds like she is spoiled at this point but its importaint... :o)
4. No talking to her (other than the waking her up) until after she has been up 20 minutes.
I may sound like I have lost my cotton-pickin mind...lol...sorry...But I too am a GROUCH in the morning and always have been this is just one way to approach the "special AM people"
Remember, for those of us with this disease morinings are just not happy times and we do plan to take down the "Happy" morning people!!!

Hugs and best of luck
C. (The Other AM Grouch!)

Does that pattern hold on the weekends? If not, the problem is likely SCHOOL! Talk to your daughter then talk to the school. It could be anything or many things. Maybe she's having a hard time keeping up with her classwork. Maybe she has a hard time seeing the board or hearing what's said.Maybe there's a bully plagueing her. It could be she's bored. And it could be she's just too tired in the mornings. My three oldest girls attended the local schools. Mornings were always rough. I was able to homeschool my youngest and viola!--no more morning meltdowns. Sometimes we lose sight of just how hard school can be on children.

Okay I agree with early bed time routine. But I also feel there could be other things going on that you are not aware of. How is school going? Could there be a class bully? That is what we are dealing with. Not sure if already mentioned but make sure that she is eating right. That can really help having the right energy for her day.
Good Luck!
:-)W.

Okay, I think I can help you.. Chuck E. Cheese. No don't go there every day, I know it can be expensive. Check out http://www.chuckecheese.com/ and they have this reward system now. It has helped tremendously!!!
They get 10 tokens after two weeks of getting dressed with no complaints/no whining/no yelling.. after two weeks including weekends, they get 10 free tokens - they even have a reward/cert for brushing teeth every day, cleaning up room every day, and cert for being a good PATIENT at doc/dentist!! Chuck E has it going on.. it has worked wonders for my lungs, and headaches as well- they will do anything to play at chuck e cheese, and not to mention on a weekend where you can also use a break!!! Good luck, remember this too shall pass :)

Hello, I was reading the other responses and I too did the same. I would spend some time just with my daughter going over her day. She is 6 1/2 and seems to be getting better in the morning.

I tried sing to her in the morning, I know it sounds funny and I can not sing for nothing but when she was a baby I would sing "good morning to you my baby" and she would get so excited so I do it now and she smiles and tells me to stop singing because it hurts her ears. =)

I too, pick out clothes with her the night before and ask her what she wants, that way they have a feeling of control. Trust me it will not change over night but reading to her before bed, saying the prayers and i love you's seem to have a better impact on her morning.

Just this morning we had to fight it out because it is picture day and of course i want her to wear what I want and have her hair the way I want so of course I had to negotiate.... I have to take her to chuck E cheese tonight. lol. Our little girls are finding there way and who they will be, we want them to be strong willed and independent just not grumpy lol.

Good luck and try talking to her she is big enough to understand that everyone around her is walking on eggshells because she is grumpy.

L.

Several of the moms have some great positive ideas. My 7 year old is the same way. For the past 3 years I've been telling her that until she has some time management skills, I'll be helping her manage her time by telling her what the clock is telling her to do next. Mommy has no control over time and can't stop time. Plus, a person can't be in two places at the same time. I've introduced her our family calendar on Yahoo, shown her timelines, and checklists...all part of our normal daily lives. I guess I'd rather have her grumpiness directed at the clock than myself in the long run.

Hi C. ~
I have a son and since the first day of kindergarden; I had him be in bed by 8:00pm. (I'd have him bathe/shower, etc by 7:30pm)and ready to say prayers by 8:00pm. He had to catch the school bus by 7:20am for school. (I would walk him to the corner with all the other kids and it was amazing to see that he was always in a good mood). I owe this all to him getting enough rest. I let him stay up until 9:00pm when he was in the 6th and 7th grade. (He is now 14 and goes to bed later @ 9:30pm; we get up at 5:30am and he leaves our house @ 6:25am to meet a neighbor that takes them to school (they start @ 7:15am). I am not a single parent; but my husband was always working and I had to be the one to set the rules. Whenever he would ask if he could stay up later; it was an automatic "no" because I told him that I would not want him to act like the other kids at the bus line; (always in a bad mood ~ too sleepy). So, I know you will meet a lot of resistance for the first couple of weeks, but believe me, even your 9 1/2 year old will appreciate the extra rest. As for what to wear, just have her pick out the outfit, the night before. That way it's something that she'll like. Good Luck to you~ Lucy B.

I would check two things.....is she getting enough sleep? If you have to wake her in the morning then she is not.2)What is happening at school? Sounds like she is resisting going.Either it is too challenging and not enough fun or the social climate is not as kind as it should be.Kids are very sensitive....my ten year old son is like a canary....I can always tell when a social situation is not supportive. He gets very grumpy with his little sister and generally uncooperative. Your daughter may not be able to describe it to you so you might have to go in....volunteer or find a way to spend time with the class.

Hi C.!

Your daughter simply sounds tired. Between both of your kids, you are probably a very active family.

When my 6 yr old boy started to be "grumpy" I knew I had to make some adjustments, because I try to start my kids off happy for school, not with a bunch of arguing! :o)

My boys go to bed at 8-8:15 every night (my oldest is 12, and he's been doing this since 5). They can lay around and read or whatever, but I know their bodies are resting, and I"m happy. I also make sure they are up between 6:30-7am, this allows them 30 min's of watching cartoons before school, and in the process, they are WAKING UP! Then they get dressed, brush teeth, etc.... and in the "bus" (my van)by 8:05. This has been working for us since my oldest started school.

I also tried to eliminate the morning "hassle" of the clothes thing!!!!! On Sunday we sit in their rooms and pick out their clothes for the whole week and put them in one of those hanging organizers. This way, they go grab a "set" of clothes on a school morning, and I am not involved in that morning decision any longer :o)

You know, a side note, when my step-daughter was 7 1/2, she started getting "grumpy" over silly things, and pulled major drama at "drop off", too. She's now 21 and just now getting over it :o) Girls are just more emotional than boys are.

Good Luck C.!

:o) N.

Just something to consider if you haven't already-- maybe she needs a slower, more gentle wake-up transition. Instead of waking up to an alarm or a frantic sibling/mom, waking up to a soft 20 second song sung by mama with a hug, and given a couple minutes to settle into the day.

Hello, does you daughter snore? She may have sleep apnea and not getting a good night sleep, this is one of the signs. My son had sleep apnea and had his tonsils and adnoids removed at 2 years old. Just a thought.

Not all kids are morning people. My 8 yr. old daughter can be the same way but she is starting to get better in time. To alleviate your morning stress, maybe you can have her pick out her outfit the night before and have it layed out. The same with breakfast - you can have discussions with both your children as to what cereal they want to eat, etc. Kids like to help and like to feel in charge when you assign them something. Maybe she can help with breakfast in the morning whether she's the bowl or spoon monitor. Also, she may be grumpy and mean to her brother as a way of getting attention. Attention is attention whether grumpy or not. Hope this helps.

Have you tried putting her to bed earlier? I'm sure you've thought of that but seems worth a try.

Hi C.,
If your daughter is grumpy in the morning it could be several things. One is how she is sleeping: does she have a regular bedtime and good sleep habits? Does she live a rhythmical daily life where mealtimes are regular as well as bedtime? Does she have at least two hours between dinner and bedtime to digest? Beyond these physical items, she could be suffering from slight trauma from a school experience or something that may have recently occurred between you and she or she and her brother which may have seemed trivial to you, but struck her deeply. Might she also be missing her dad? These are questions you may have already delved into yourself; if not try them out and see if you come up with something. Also, since she is 6 1/2....new teeth? And/or her temperament, which could be melancholic. At this age, the temperament (which lies between the psycho-emotional and physical) begins to really show itself. HAs she had a checkup with a pediatrician lately? She could have digestive problems that keep her from sound sleep and she may be overtired.
I hope some of these thoughts can be helpful. I know it isn't fun to have a sad or grumpy child at any age, but try to remember that she is a child and is not simply being grumpy - there is an underlying reason that she cannot reach. Hopefully you can help her through it with lots of compassion and gentleness.
best thoughts...
J. Birns
Waldorf Educator and mother of 2

Well, does she go to sleep early enough and sleep well through the night? Make sure that everyone is getting up early enough so that there is not a morning rush to get out the door. I would give her a choice of 2 outfits that she can help pick out - and that is end of story.

What works for me, is to think about what you are willing to live with. For us, that behavior is unacceptable - period. For us, no complaining about clothes or food because that is ungrateful behavior and I put an immediate stop to it, and remind the children that there are kids right now, without the luxuries they have. Everyone has off days, so it is okay to not feel 100%, but it is not okay to lose control and lash out at others. Also, consequences for negative behavior - take away something she values. Have her earn it back with several consecutive mornings of positive behavior.
It is all about holding our children responsible for the choices they make, including behvioral choices.
Best wishes to you and your family.

Hi C.,
My daughter, too, is at this stage, as it sounds like many other are from the looks at all your responses! I see lots of good suggestions, but I just wanted to add something that isn't very popular with most people. I, too, do not like mornings. I have worked nights my entire career and mornings are like hot pokers in the eyes for me. However, as someone previously said, that does not give me an excuse to be mean and grumpy and hateful. I believe in spanking....not beating, just spanking. I do try to give my daughter a chance to wake up slowly because I do empathize with her. But once the waking up has happened, it's time to get with it. If she cannot pull herself together and stop acting ugly in short order, she knows she will get a swat. I tell her, your life is going to be full of things you don't want to do, but you'll have to do them anyway, and with a smile on your face. And consistency is so important. She will test the limits of my patience every morning, but the boundaries remain the same, as do the consequences. No disrespect to anyone else's comments, but I do feel this is completely normal behaviour for children this age. For most children (I agree there are some exceptions) it's a simple case of morning grumps, nothing deeper than that. Yes, feed them well, get them plenty of sleep (our's are in bed by 8), make sure they are emotionally cared for, but then realize that more than likely she is just plain grumpy because it's morning. Don't be afraid to put your foot down and say that behaviour is not acceptable in this house. If swats are against your beliefs, pick something else that will make an impression. My suggestion is to take a no nonsense approach every morning so she knows you mean business. "I'm not going to put up with your attitude. Go to your room and get dressed now." And if that direction is not followed, follow through EVERY TIME with the discipline of your choice. And lastly...it will get easier! God bless and good luck to us all!

Sing her the song (The Rolling Stones) "you can't always get what you want..... but if you try some time..... you get what you need"! Sing it with humor and a smile! It will surprise her! Also, when my kids used to whine and moan in the car....... my husband and I would break out with the Pretenders "It is time for you to stop all of your sobbing"! A little humor may help. Of course, she my be tired, hungry, or something is bugging her about school or family. Talk to her alone later.... ask lots of open ended questions......maybe some kids are teasing her, her brother is bugging her, etc. Also, get her invoved (the night before when she is not a grump) picking out the outfit for school, what she will have for breakfast, etc.

Good luck!

Ah, my youngest is not a morning person either, but the last few years we have some rituals that help. Every evening we have a routine of getting ready for bed, reading together (currently we're on "Anne of the Windy Poplars,") then I tuck them in with our special song and sometimes a little chat about the day. In the morning we have soothing music playing and I give Dija (my youngest) plenty of time to gently wake up. On cold mornings, we have the fireplace on for her to get dressed in front of. Then when she's more awake, we turn on the fun music for a little energy. She has choice about what she eats and wears, so there is never a need to complain (sometimes I shudder at the color combos, but she's wearing it, not me!)

She was also much more grumpy in the mornings when she was unhappy with school. I would be doing frequent check ins (I always do anyway) about how things are going for her especially in school. You might be surprised to find out the morning grumps have nothing to do with morning time.

And last but not least, make sure she is getting enough sleep and has enough time to wake up slowly if she needs to (Dija needs 3 wake up nudges and 5 minutes to stare at her breakfast before she actually begins to eat!!!)

Hi C.,
Try sending her to bed 1/2 an hour earlier. It worked wonders for my son once he started kindergarten!

I agree with all the suggestions about routines. What I do with my morning grump (8 1/2 years old) is first off, she gets two wake ups. She asks to be woken up twice so when she actually has to get out of bed it isn't such a shock. Like a snooze button. She gets a gentle warning wake up, then the real one a few minutes later. She also goes right into a warm shower. She told me that makes a huge difference in waking up. I time things too so she gets about 20 minutes of cartoon time. Yes, she has to get up earlier, but they make her smile and that is OK with me. So if cartoons aren't her (or your) thing, find something she does love that doesn't take too much energy or concentration, that will help with her transition. And definitely lay out clothes the night before, huge help if she will cooperate.
Another thing to talk to her about is school. She may be having problems at school that make her less than excited to go. If you can help allevaite any school stresses, she may be happier to go in the morning.
Good luck!

Hi C.,

I was wondering what her diet looks like. If she is getting enough of the good fats? The good fats consist of butter, olive oil, and nuts. It doesn't sound like she is getting them. Her diet needs to be filled with nutrient dense foods, such as eggs, raw milk and plenty of grass fed meats. I urge you to go to westonaprice.org and read about this sort of diet. If she is eating alot of empty calories such as cereals, crackers, cookies etc this could really effect her moods and eventually lead to depression.

Hope this helps.

M. S.

I can relate. I would try choices - pick out two tops and ask her which she wants, same with bottoms, and breakfast. Compliment her on the choices she made. "I like that top you picked out". Re brother, it can be hard, but try to ignore her negative comments and really compliment her on ANYTHING positive she does say or do. If she doesn't say anything positive, compliment brother on anything positive HE does, including getting dressed and talking nice. Hope it works for you.

My soon to be 7 year old used to be the same way. Now I have her pick out her clothes for the next day before bed, when we go grocery shopping I let her pick out 2 or 3 things she likes for breakfast, then I give her those choices each morning, and we also decided that every time she complained in the morning about being too tired, or not wanting to wear those clothes or not liking the food in the house, that bedtime was going to be a 1/2 hour earlier. We start out the year with a 9'o clock bedtime, by the middle of last school year her bedtime was 6:30, but she stopped complaining, and this year, so far, we haven't had any problems at all. Her bedtime is still 9, and no complaints. Worked for us, might for your baby girl too!

Start the night before when she is more alert. Select the clothes for the next day. If she won't, give 2 choices. Agree on a breakfast. Some children are not ready to eat first thing in the moring. If so provide a snack to replace breakfast. It may take more time at night when you are tired but make the morning smoother. She should be dress before she leaves her bedroom in AM if possible and no additional distractions such as TV. Give her time such as 10 minutes until breakfast or 15 minutes until you leave. If she doesn't make breakfast a day or two the snack will take care of her and she may show up. No nagging if you can. Be clear about the behavior and who is responsible. This is often know as undue attention. She knows she has you on a time line. If you can arrange it some morning and just stay home with a boring day, breaks every hour like school and nothing to do but timeout she might rethink staying home.
There is also a program for children that is the Alert program that can be taught,

I have to agree with Maria S. (the first to reply) Although you should absolutely try to help your daughter curb her grumpies with more sleep and/or good routine, she also needs to be held accountable for her behavior choices. Just because we're tired and grumpy doesn't mean we get to take it out on others. Rude is rude. Mean is mean, no matter how grumpy we are feeling. Just like Thumper had to learn... If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Sit down with her (at a time when she is not grumpy) and explain that her morning behavior is not acceptable and needs to change. Set out what is expected of her in the mornings and what the consequences will be when she is mean or being a big complainer, then stick to it.

I have two girls and at our house we have Cinderella Therapy for bad attitudes. Since Cinderella lives a life of thankless drudgery, but has a great attitude (singing while scrubbing the floor!), it must mean that thankless drudgery is the key to a great attitude. If their attitude is less than great it must mean that I'm not providing them with enough work. After a couple of hours (a whole day when they are older) of 'clean that, now do that, now this, etc.' with no 'thank you' or 'you did a good job', they can really see that their life could be alot worse than it is and their attitudes improve tremendously. One dose of Cinderella Therapy is good for months of good behavior! At this point (they are 11 and 14) all we have to say is 'I think maybe some Cinderella Therapy is in order here.' and they quickly smile and say 'Oh no, that wasn't me complaining! Must have been the cat.' (we don't have a cat!) Sometimes it's genuine improvement based on the family 'therapy' joke and sometimes it is obviously faked based on not wanting to lose a whole day to cleaning windows, but it always stops the whining, complaining, eye rolling, etc.
Now about that duct tape therapy.... LOL

I am not a morning person, as someone as has said, that does not give me the right to be grumpy or rude to anyone else. I would let her know this and that it is not acceptable. She needs to know that it can hurt someone else's feelings. I have two suggestions. Make sure she is getting enough sleep. That is huge on a child. Most kids do not get as much sleep as needed. My 8 year old needs about 10 hours of sleep each night, otherwise she is aweful. The other thing is have her pick out her outfit the night before. But let her know that this is it and there will be no changing in the morning. I know someone that had this same problem, until finally they sent their child off to school in PJ's. It sure worked. I know kids go through differant phases, but it is no excuse to let bad behavior go undisciplined. My now 8 year old used to be very grumpy in the morning, but I had to let her know that just because she may be tired that is no reason to be rude to others. I would have to take away certain privelages from her so that she knew I was serious. I tell her that if she is not in a good mood, than she should not say anything until she is in a better mood. We need to pick our battles as parents. Letting her pick out her own outfit the night before, regardless of how it may not match, is something to give into. Disrespectful behavior is something that should not be tolerated.