Help I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who throws a huge fit every morning while getting dressed. She will pull out many pairs of underwear and shorts before she is ready to get dressed. I also have tried to just give her the option to pick from only two choices and that does ot work. Everyday she will end up in tears and me loosing my temper. I'm not sure if it is she age or just her searching for a little independance. But I need to get to work on time.
Try setting a timer. What ever she is wearing when the timer goes off is what she is wearing for the day. If she is still in her pajamas, she wears her pajamas. I've also had my daughter pick out her outfit the night before. That way she has as much time as she wants to pick it out, but in the morning, it is what she is wearing, no exceptions.
She's 3 1/2, she is not ready for this independent responsibility. She is clearly telling you that with her outbursts. It's giving her anxiety. Start by helping her the night before, not the morning of. Go into her room and pick out her outfit and leave it out. Do Not give her options, that comes later when she can handle dressing herself. ANd even then, it is done the night before, not the morning of. Include in this outfit, her underwear, socks, shoes...everything you'd like her to do in the A.M. In the morning, wake her and help her. Remember, it is behavior you want to instill and teach, so that she may later do it for herself. She can't really do it herself if she hasn't been taught and is expected to do on her own. Good Luck.
Does she have a lot of dress up clothes? I always got away with telling my DD morning time is not dress up time, but she can dress up when we come back home.
At that age, I wouldn't give an option of clothes. My daughter is 6 and if we have somewhere to go, I pick her clothes and that is what she has to wear. Any other time, she is free to wear purple pants and a green shirt if she chooses. It is still a challenge, but it is a manageable challenge.
I pick out options. I'll give DD the choice of shorts, skirt or dress. Then from there she picks from 3. I tell her if she doesn't choose in my timeframe, I choose and that's the end of it. So if she wants a choice, she better pick. You can set a timer for this activity. I also try to lighten the mood by doing stupid things like saying, "So these socks here, they go on your ears, right?" and DD will say, "No, silly! They're for feet!" and I'll say, "Oh, I don't know about that. Are they feet shaped? Let's see...why they are!" My DD is also slow to wake, so I talk to her about her options over breakfast and then she gets dressed just before we go.
Which is not to say that there aren't mornings when I just pick the things she needs to wear and we go anyway, even if she cries, but it seems to help to offer limited, directed choices.
Just today she asked for her bunny socks. Guess what pair of socks is MIA? So I got out other socks and said she could choose frogs or ladybugs or pandas, but we'd have to look for bunnies when we came home. She grumpily chose the pandas after I reminded her that she chose or I did and by the time we put shoes on to skip out the door, she was fine with the pandas. Kids....drive you crazy.
And FWIW, our preschool says basically make sure they are dressed for the weather but if they come to school in a tutu and superhero cape and pjs, nobody cares. Sometimes it's not worth the fight.
Is she in tears, because she doesn't WANT a choice? My son thinks he wasn't many things, but I KNOW he doesn't actually want to choose what he wears. I don't give him a choice, I just dress him. (Well, he helps dress himself.) NO more battles. Maybe, she is overwhelmed with this? 3 year olds ask for everything, but they rarely really want everything they think they do. Independence is a big responsibility, it doesn't sound like she is ready quite yet. I'd pick out her clothes from now on, and revisit her trying in a few months.
My DIL puts two choices for my Grand daughter out on the bed. Then she asks the daughter, "Do you want to wear the red one or the blue one?" If her daughter says something else, like "the pink one with flowers, then she can have the pink one, but if she says none of them, then she is redirected back to the two offered choices. It started off kind of rough, but with in a week she was choosing between the two choices. When she got a little older, my daughter would tell her to get dressed and if she didn't then she would go back to the two choices. My granddaughter was getting dressed on her own by the time she was three and a half.
Good luck to you and yours.
It is definately an age thing. I went through it with my daughter and now with my son. I could have been a strong competitor on the women's Olympic wrestling team! You have gotten good ideas. I have used a lot of the same ideas. But with my kids it seemed like each "trick" only worked for so long. Setting a timer works well for us. We also some mornings have races against the clock. Another thing that has really helped is letting them choose clothes when we go shopping. My son now gets dressed a lot easier because he has had choice from the very beginning. We still have some of those mornings when I pretty much have to sit on him to get him dressed, but they are fewer.
Does she respond to sticker charts? My daughter loves them, and will even ask for them because she knows when she fills one up, she gets a trip to the dollar store! Try this: create a chart (very simple, I use cute computer paper and draw a grid) for a week at a time, and every morning that she dresses quickly, she gets to put her sticker on. You can start by rewarding nightly for her quick gratification, then when she gets a hang of it, go to a few days, then a week. If you start out rewarding daily, give a simple treat when you pick her up after work, or a special book (or extra reading time) at bedtime, what ever you think she likes a lot. Then (if you even need to) ramp up the reward like a trip to the dollar store if she goes all week with out the little daily rewards. Also, set out 2 things for her to wear that she can choose from to make it simple for her, she has to pick one and not fuss to get the sticker, OR (what I would do) just pick her outfit for her the night before, and say "If you put this on in the morning Fast! Fast! You get a sticker! (try to create excitement, and have fun!!). Good luck!
the solution that worked for us, has worked for many years, with 2 kids was given to me by a coworker when I was at the end of my 'clothes' rope. Have them were what they are wearing the next day to bed instead of pajamas. Then when you wake them up its - up, brush your hair, throw on some shoes and your gone.
The difference in mornings is night and day. :) My kids voluntarily do this now.
See if you can get her to lay out her clothes the night before
You pick out her cloths the night before and show her what you have selected.
At that time give her the opportunity to pick another outfit if she doesn't like the one you have selected. Let her know she has ten minutes to decide. (set a timer)
If she has not selected another outfit, then she wears the one you picked out.
The night before, tell her how much time she has to get dressed with or without your assistance. (set a timer)
If she is not dressed when it's time to go, take her to day care in her PJ's.
The night before, you pack a bag with her cloths to take to day care.
She will not like wearing PJ's to day care and will probably begin to be more cooperative.
Don't lose your temper or buy in to her tantrums....just be consistent and things will change.
