Empty Your Pockets?

I was basically going to say what the other T. said...! ;) I've done that once and just put the question out there as hey...we're looking for this item, can't find it, did he remember playing with it, etc. If he in fact has it, then the mother may be aware of his particular affinity for lifting and may offer up some sort of an explanation or apology. If she doesn't I'd let it go this time, but keep an eye on him and let her know if these things happen often.

Just call & say:
"Hey--By any chance, does Jimmy remember where he last saw our wireless XBox headset when he was here? We're searching & can't find it anywhere....that was the last time we saw it...does he remember seeing it before he left & where?"
That will:
A. Give the parents a very slight heads-up
and
B. Give them an "out" if he did "accidentally" bring it home

Could the question be worded so it's not accusing in nature? I'm not the best at this but something like, "We're missing our headset. Can you ask Klepto Kent where he saw it last? We've lost it and we are going crazy looking for it." Or, "Do you mind checking to see if Klepto Kent ended up with our headset by accident?" (insert proper childs name for Klepto Kent...or not :-).

Perhaps instead of accusing of stealing, which it sounds like he probably did. You could ask the parents to ask their child if he knows what happened to the headset. Say it is missing and wonder if he knows where it is, this would allow him the chance to confess. It might come across as less harsh sounding. If this doesn't work then I would bring up the fact he has taken stuff before and would they please check his pants, room ect. for it. Good luck.

When my Andy was younger he had a lot of trouble with boundaries so he didn't get that stealing was wrong, he actually didn't get that stealing was stealing. I would have much rather had someone call me than what happened. Usually I would find the object months later and die a hundred deaths calling the person and go ya know that thing.....

This is of course just my opinion but someone would would get their knickers in a twist over you calling them isn't a great person to begin with. You want to know when your kids are doing wrong unless you condone the behavior, ya know?

I'd call the mom and say, "Our kids were all playing with the Xbox earlier, and we're having trouble finding the headset. Would you mind checking Teddy's pockets to see if it accidentally went out the door with him? I've checked my kids' pockets and we're just trying to cover all the bases." Approach it as if it were a mistake rather than a deliberate theft.

If, another day when playtime is over, you happen to find things in pockets that shouldn't have your things in them, you can say, "Oops, Ted - you're about to go off with this. We need to keep it here so you can play with it next time you come."

If there's a "taking" problem going on, it's best to let Teddy's mama bring it up first, if at all possible. Call your suspicions anything else until then - if you can.

"Hey, did the wireless headset wear itself over to your house last night? I know you guys are working really hard with Jimmy putting stuff in his pockets and forgetting to take them out before he comes home, but it sure can take a WHILE, can't it? Well if you see it, it looks like this, and is super expensive to just drop it in our mailbox if you do come across it. It might be under a couch cushion or in the fridge or something. You know how kids are. Things in their pockets or hands and just get put in the WEIRDEST places. Keep an eye out for me?"

I've found that as long as I keep my tone light/joking (realizing/ taking the tone that this is an 'issue' that the other parents ARE dealing with, instead of accusational) I get a GREAT response from other parents 9 times out of 10. Even in super serious bully issues I just take the tone that 'the parents are working on it/ not their fault'. (Because, honestly, most parents are mortified at their kids' unacceptable behavior, be it hitting, stealing, whining, not sharing, etc. )

Well, yes but you can do it nicely ... Simply say we are missing our wireless Xbox headset, we have looked all over for it I was just wondering if by chance it ended up at your house, the boys just do not always pay attention when they leave.

I would want to know if my child did this. The parents may not like it, in fact they will probably be either really mad or defensive or they will be relieved that you told them. Either way, you can't control their reaction. All you can say is call them and say" I am calling because on ____day when Jonny was playing with the xbox, the kids played and put it away but we couldn't find the wireless headset for it. Would you please ask jonny to check his backpack or pockets and make sure he doesn't have it by mistake? It wont' be comfortable, but do it so its over with. GL

M

I would talk to the parents and tell them everytime your son plays at our home something comes up missing. The other day I caught him with some of my son's toys in his pocket. After he left yesterday I noticed that the wireless headset from the Xbox is missing, I need it back or replaced. Once you get it back, don't allow this child to play at your home any more.

How old is this kid?
I mean, is the kid old enough to know better?

I would call the mom and ask if such and such" happened to bring the X-box headset home with them or if they know where it is. Tell her you and your kids looked all over and cannot find where it was "misplaced" to.

I was going to recommend the non-accusatory approach...but that has been given already.

The next big dilemma is if the parents don't fess up to the missing stuff, if indeed it did walk out of your house in pants pockets. Then you might have parents condoning the behavior. So be extra vigilant if this particular kid is over again and insist on checking pockets prior to departure.

My daughter had a klepto girlfriend once. She would hide clothes under her clothes and once ran out the front door with her ballet slippers on her feet and even when I yelled after her to come back and take the slippers off, she just ran home faster. So I called the mom right then and explained the situation nicely. The mom was receptive as it was not the first time she had noticed.

I would want to know if my child was stealing like Jo G, but I know some parents don't like to hear their angel is doing something wrong lol. I would say Hey we are missing our little (I'd say little unless they know what it is lol) xbox wireless headset. Can you see if blah knows where it is or if he put it in his pocket.' Just leave it open ended and I wouldn't say accident. If they get upset you can say I don't think he may have stole it, but he had some of blah's toys in his pockets the other day.

That's just me and my feeling of wanting to know my child is stealing or taking stuff. I can't fix the problem if I don't know about it :)

You make it fun and into an adventure or into an adventure of suspense----for little boys act out the scenes while reading with him. Boys like adventure so make the reading project into an adventure and pick adventurous books, there are even some with animals.