Does Your Toddler Do This? - Los Angeles,CA

Updated on October 08, 2010
S.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
17 answers

Whenever my 16 month old son is alone in a room with my husband, he's usually happy and independent, playing by himself. If I'm in teh room though, he becomes super clingy and needy, kinda of crying until I not only hold him but pick him up and stand as I hold him! This isn't all the time but most of the time, it seems like i bring out this clinginess in him. He'll be fine w/ my hubby, like i said, and as soon as I enter, he's whiny and wanting to be held. Is this normal toddler behavior or am I spoiling him somehow?? Just want to know if I should change something or if this is normal. Thanks!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

B.A.

answers from Saginaw on

Yes, I remember this. And I always was fathomed by it too. I believe its just a phase, because my girls are 5 and 3 now and I can't remember when the last time they did it.

2 moms found this helpful

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 19 m/o does the same thing. Except I don't have to stand and hold her, she wants me on the couch. Then like a minute or less later she wants down, she will go grab a toy, then climb back up. She does that over and over again, until she gets to sit on my lap with a million toys around her.

I know my girl is doing this because I am a SAHM and we spend all day together. I just moved here, and I don't have any friends, and I haven't enrolled her at gymboree yet. So the only social interaction we have is with each other.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes my DS was just like that and I always picked him up. I loved being needed and that he knew if he wanted to be held, Mommy would tend to his needs.

He's 4 now and outgrew it definitely, but if he's tired, gets hurt, wants a cuddle, relax on the couch to read a book or just get a hug he knows exactly who will be there for him everytime...Mommy =-)

5 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Sounds normal to me. He's just super attached to your right now. Tomorrow or next week he may favor your hubby! I would hold him for a bit then sit down and play with him. Then once he's occupied, leave for a few minutes.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Simple, you give him what he wants when he behaves this way, and your husband probably does not give in to winning. I have a 19 month old in my daycare and we don't pick her up if she is winning, when she comes to and says up, we pick her up, but we do not reward winning normal or not. When they wine to get picked up it's not a need it's a want, if it was a need they would be like that with all who take care of them. J.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Boise on

My son was really like this. At daycare too. He is very outgoing and social, and when I showed up, I had to pick him up and he would cuddle into me and get all shy. My husband would have him playing with toys until I walked in, and it was cuddle time. We each had our own "identities" with him.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

LOL, I laugh at this because my toddler does the SAME thing. I don't think we are spoiling them, but they know mommy gives more attention than dad, so they play on that. I will notice my husband, baby crying and he ignores a bit, but I would more likely want to investigate what is the crying for. They get accustomed to each person's style and not that dad doesn't love them any more, just doesn't jump as fast as we do, so they adjust. Sometimes I feel special, other times I don't like not having a break! You're not alone

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Jackson on

My son used to do this as a toddler and my daughter does it now. I read this in a book somewhere and it really helps me understand why they act this way: ~Children know that when they are with their mothers they can be totally themselves. They feel completely free to express all their emotions without restraint. This is why children often melt down right after they are picked up from daycare, even if they have seemed happy and well-behaved all day. ~. That is not an exact quote, but you get the idea. I always make sure to give my daughter extra hugs and special story time after a post-daycare meltdown. It seems to help her become centered again. In your case, your son is just experiencing two worlds at once - the wonderful independence of playing alone or just with dad, and also the reminder when you walk in that he is still a baby. Let him be a baby! You
are not spoiling him, you are just loving him! There is a huge difference.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Las Cruces on

Hi there. My daughter does the same thing. She is 15 months old. And I don't think I spoil her too much, she is just close to me. My husband doesn't really watch her by himself, but when my mom does, I have noticed she does that. I think it's normal.

1 mom found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

i guess i am in the minority, i agree with julie l. my son is the biggest mama's boy, he is now 4, we are so tight that it often causes my husband to feel somewhat left out. he has always been this way and he's very sweet and so affectionate...but he has never just constantly whined until i picked him up and stood holding him. i wouldn't allow that...sorry! i do have to say that at 16 months it is kind of unrealistic to expect them to play by themselves though. at that age i was playing with my son, or had him in the kitchen "helping" me (well, we still do that lol). 16 months is super young to expect him to be independent. he's probably wanting interaction and attention, which he actually needs at this age. but how about instead of just standing there holding him because that's what "HE" demands, you find a fun book to read or a toy the two of you can play with together? it sounds like you're kind of catering to him, which is not a road you want to go down.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from New York on

Yup! This just happened to me the other day. My mom watched the kiddos while I was at the dr. When I walked in the door my youngest (10 months) started whining. My mom turned around and said "What the heck, he has been an angel until this very moment". Wonderful!

I see it with my girlfriends son too (just over 2). He comes over to play and is totally fine, no whining/crying. When his mom comes to get him he is constantly whining about something.

While it is annoying, I'm thinking it is pretty normal.

J.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son does the EXACT same thing!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He's NORMAL!
You are his Mommy and he is more bonded with you.
NOTHING wrong with that.
It is also an age stage.
Don't worry.
He is NOT spoiled.
It is an age related developmental stage.
Soon, other stages will occur.
Enjoy it... one day he will not even want to cling onto you.

all the best,
Susan

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Mine did this all the time and when he did this I would say "hi honey, oh mamma wants you too but I need a few more seconds to finish in the kitchen," or where ever I was, walk away for a few seconds (yes let him cry) then go back and pick him up for about 5 min then help get him interested in something else and leave the room again. After about a month of this consistently the crying stopped all together and turned into "mommy can you play with me" not (drama crying) "mommy where have you been I thought you left me alone with daddy for ever!!" Spoiling him, no but you can train him to know you will always come back he is just now learning object permanence so when he does see you have returned he is over joyed but still a bit confused and tries to get you to stay where he can see you for forever.

C.F.

answers from Boston on

My son does the Exact same thing !!!!!! Drives me nuts! Hubby laughs about it and i say "ya, cause it's not you". The day care part kills me, I'll look through the door and hes playing and happy - I walk in and the moment he sees me, he instantly starts whimpering and Needs me to pick him up! I tell him 'your supposed to be happy and smiling when you see mommy' LOL I never wanted a "mamas boy" but that seems to be what I have. LOVE him to pieces tho! and I know there will be a day when I wish he wanted to be w/ me All the Time. Mommies and Daddies are to completely different creatures! haha

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Austin on

Yup Normal. My children will still be perfectly behaved and sadly when I enter the room or wake up they start needing stuff more. Guess it's the roll of Mommy. I agree with Susan. Enjoy it soon they won't want to cling. My 6 yr old will only let me kiss him on the cheek or forehead and isn't into hugs anymore. This a child we cuddled with and co-slept with. Normal.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.W.

answers from Miami on

Totally normal and i don't think they stop. My mom watches my daughter and also my brothers 3 kids twice a week after school. When my SIL and I walk in the door to pick them up its crazy time. They all start whining and fighting and talking all at once. I'm sure its an attention thing. As my mom insists they have been angels the whole time. lol
By the way they are all aged between 7 - 11. :-)

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions