5 Month Old Has Odd Crying Habit

I stand like my baby wants - :) He is 7 months and it is slowing down :) HE is finding other comfort methods. I have three other children - two teens :) I guarantee they dont want rocked at 15!!

Hi Lisa. It's always so nice when they do calm down! Might it have something to do with the person standing rocking while they stand, some sort of motion that stops when you sit down? When the holder is standing are they supporting her differently than sitting will do? Just ideas, sorry not to have a magic answer. It's hard to spoil a 5 month old!

My son was the same way. I found that I could calm him in the Baby Bjorn while I walked around the house or did house work. The sound and motion of me vacuuming calmed him right down and usually put him to sleep (so at least I was accomplishing something in the process).

hey lisa,

if this is a new thing for her you might want to have her ped take a look at her ears. perhaps she is feeling inner ear pressure when her caretaker is seated. another theory is that she is starting to teeth. have you looked carefully at her gums? again, that would explain it if the onset has been relatively abrupt.

my son was (and remains) very sensitive to that sort of thing. if she has always been sensitive like this, it may simply be that she needs more movement than a seated position can give her. my sam calmed down at that age only when i walked him around while rocking him. i am a firm believer that one can never "spoil" a child under the age of 12 months. they need what they need, even if it seems slightly off. if i were you, i would rule out a physical reason and if you can do that then go ahead and stand or walk while comforting her.

good luck and all the best to you and your family. :-)

S.

I would buy a sling or a wrap so that you can comfortably stand and walk around with her.

You can't spoil a baby by responding to their needs, so don't worry about it. She may be teething or she may just need some extra cuddles from you. Either way comforting her is the best thing.

L.

http://www.HealthyFamilyHome.com

My daughter (who is now 14 months) did the same thing. Nothing else worked but to stand and sway. The good news is that she grew out of it around 7-8 months. I don't think it's necessarily spoiling her, some babies just like what they like. I also have boy/girl twins that are turning 7 years old this month. My son also liked to be held standing up, but only insisted until about 4 months. His twin sister did not have the same issue (thank goodness!!!)

Lisa
Sounds like you have a baby that wants to move around....which is 100% normal. Some babies will be completely content being held on a sitting lap...but not many. My two older wanted to move always. My 4 month old prefers to move also, but will sometimes sit on a lap if she's in the mood and has her pacifier in her mouth. Trust me it is not something you can control (you are not spoiling/feeding in). Babies give us all sorts of cues to listen and look for. They cry if they are wet and want to be changed. They cry if they are hungry and want to be fed. They cry if they are tired and wwant to sleep...if they are down and want to be picked up, etc. So it is perfectly normal if they are more comfortable in your arms while you are standing and therefore cry because you sat down and now they are not as comfortable.

Try to give her a pacifier, or a blanket, or a toy, baby einstein,etc. Maybe she will give you some moments where she will sit contently in your lap. But if not, just get up and move....knowing that's just who your baby is and it's completely normal.

If your baby is not crying all the time, don't sweat this one issue...like everything else, it will pass (and faster than you will believe!). Enjoy her!

My oldest did that from about 2 months for a while. It was so long ago (13 years) that I can't exactly remember. We just stood with her and the next thing we knew she was over it. Who knows what causes it? It seems like a huge pain, I know, but just think... you burn more calories standing up and rocking!! Enjoy her and maybe try a snugli

It is some baby knowledge! ALL my babies did that. Who knows how or why they know ...they just do. She'll get over it, in the meantime stay standing and enjoy the snuggling!

LOL, this is SOOOO normal (albeit frustrating). And try as you may, you will NOT fool them. As soon as your butt touches a seat, they'll know. Depending on her size, you might consider a front pack or a hip hammock (she's probably outgrown a sling or is close to it). It takes some getting used to for you (folding laundry, etc with the added "attachment" LOL - just remember to always squat instead of bend), but it is worth it. And just remember, someday you'll wish she'd let you hold her...

I think most babies are like this, mine was. You definitely would not be spoiling her by doing this.

Both my kids (3 months and 2 years) do this. Don't know why, but it definitely matters to them that you're standing when you comfort them. Don't worry about spoiling her--just give her all the comfort she needs!

My son was colicky(SP?) when he was a baby and we had to stand with him constantly. I would check with you ped to make certain.

Please don't be upset, I am a stay at home mom of 4 children, my youngest is a 5 month old boy. I hold my children when they are babies practically all the time, and let them tell me when they want down. The baby gets time on his tummy and time to play with his brothers and sister, as much as he wants. However, I notice that when I don't hold them as much then they start getting fussy and cry more until they get the attention from Mama that they want and feel they need, and then they are happy again.

My thought is that since you work full time, your little one simply wants more of you. The crying and insisting that you stand is her way of getting your devoted attention to her. While sitting you might begin to get focused on something else and the little one notices.

You are doing the right thing by doing as you feel is best. You might be able to forestall the crying times by playing with her and spending some time focused completely on her before she starts crying. That way she will learn that she doesn't have to cry to get attention. With practice and her development, you will be able to gage how much she needs of you without crying. Note also, that in times of new developments, she will probably want a little more of you, like when learning to roll or sit or crawl or walk or run -- those new skills that give her greater independece. During those times she will want greater assurance that you are there for her and love her and are pleased with her.

Follow your heart and you'll do the right thing for you and her and you'll have the feeling that everything will work out ok.

Hope this helps...

Oh Lisa...I have very much been there and I feel for you!!!! I swear my son had radar and the moment we sat down, he would wind up. It was a very though time both physically and emotionally. I put him in the Baby Bjorn a lot during the day. He would do the same things at naptime. We had to pace the floors to get him to sleep. We gently broke that habit by teaching him to fall asleep on his own. We never let him cry, but made sure he was awake in his crib when he went down.

As for crying when you sit ( not at naptime), it seems like he just grew out of it (he is 15 months now). When they are that young, in my opinion, I do not believe that you are spoiling her by giving her what she needs. She is too young to know what spoiling is. I think by helping her calm, whichever way works, you are building trust and bonding. Just my opinion though. I know it is tough, but hand in there!

I call this the "buzzer in your bottom" syndrome, because it's as if there is a buzzer that goes off when your bottom comes in contact with the chair. My daughter was the same exact way. So, although it's inconvenient, it is not unheard of. This baby stage goes by so quickly...you won't be dealing with the standing/pacing for very long. So just enjoy this time, because it will be gone before you know it! :)

Totally normal! Both my kids did it/do it. My 18 mo old son still does it when he's tired. You can't spoil a baby in my opinion, but I know it gets frustrating to have to stand. You might try a carrier, that helped me at least get some stuff done while I was holding the kids.

dont worry, you cant spoil a baby that young. :)
she may be getting gas and it hurts the way she is being held when sitting and feels better when standing. try burping her more often and see if that helps. :)

My son was and to some point still is like that. He wanted to be held constantly and only standing up. We bought a snugli carrier and I just had him strapped to me all day!

1st You can't spoil a baby by meeting their needs. She's too young to manipulate you.

Lets think about it for a minute.

How do you hold her when you are standing? How do you hold her when you are sitting? Perhaps she's uncomfortable when you are sitting? She may enjoy the small swaying motion that we often do when standing holding a baby. Perhaps she like to look around from a higher vantage point?

Lisa,

This is SOOOO common and I have no idea why. This was the case for both of my sons at this age. They are now 3 1/2 and 1. They could be dead asleep and soon as I sat down, they would wake up and cry. Stand up, and they were quiet. My husband called standing their "off" button. I am also a preschool director and every baby in our nursery was the same way. I don't understand how they can tell the difference, but they can. It will get better!!! Do whatever YOU need to in order to survive this time!

I had went through the same thing w/ my daughter. I pacified her and only stood up...the stage didn't last that long. If it would have we would have given her tough love and made her get over it by sitting even though she was crying. We are the parents and I think that sometimes even at this age they need to know this.

are you using a sling? that will make it easier on you physically to hold her standing up. it's hard work taking care of a baby, huh? at least, it helps you burn off some of that baby weight, lol. my son would do the same thing you are describing, for a little while, I can't even remember if it lasted 2 weeks or 2 months. In retrospect, it was a very short time, even if it seems like such a big deal while it's going on. :) thankfully, they only need to be carried around constantly for less than a couple of years [including the 10 months in your belly] of your long life. :) pretty soon, she'll be crawling and walking around a lot more.

have you read "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears? it has such a wealth of information and advice, and it's written by a couple [Dr. Sears and his wife] with a lot of children. you could get it from you library, it has so much good info to refer to, it's worth buying, too. :)

good luck!

Lisa-
My son did the SAME thing. He is now almost a year (which I can't believe!!!) and now is even harder to console. But when he was younger, the only way anyone could comfort him would be to cuddle him standing up, you go to sit and it was tears all over again! I actually brought it to his doctor's attention and she said it's normal, babies are naturally curious, when he is up high he can look around, he feels safe, etc. Is she sitting up supported or unsupported yet? Maybe sit her down when she wants to be up and give her a toy to play with? That seemed to help my son to forget why he was crying. I don't really have any good advice, I just kind of dealt with it and it eventually went away. Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

My name is Angela and I have a 5 month old and I am experiencing the dame thing. I have a son that loves to be up and whenever I sit down he begins to cry and the only way that he will stop is if I stand. This is very tring for both myself as well as my husband. Please forward any advice you may have from other paretns.

THanks
Angela

I have a 4 1/2 month old daughter that has been doing the same thing for the last 2 weeks. I am not sure why they do it as my older daughter did not do this. I think a big part of it for my daughter is that she is better able to look around and she always acts like she is missing something if she is laying on her play mat or in the bumbo seat. Plus this is the time that they are really getting ready to test out their legs for crawling and walking. Does you daughter scooch herself across the floor? Mine is all over the room. It may just be her need to move. I don't think that holding her like this will feed the habit. I know it can be frustrating when you can never set them down but she will outgrow it before you know it. Have you tried putting her in an activity seat? That may be all she needs is some more stimulation and to be able to look around. Hope this helps.

Both of my kids did this when they were babies too. We could even just pretend to sit down and they would start crying again! We decided to just have fun with it. They are 6 & 3 years old now & don't mind just sitting on our laps now!

I know it sounds wierd, but... Have you tried jiggling her? I saw this show that had a baby whisperer on it and if you hold the baby close to you like a cuddle and just lightly bounce her up and down it reminds them of the womb and right near their ear shhhhh does the same thing. The combination of the 2 almost always helped my VERY colicky baby.

As for the standing up thing, do you rock her or swing her when you're standing and you dont when you're sitting?

I hope you get it resolved!! It's hard to break their comfort habits.

A.

I had the same problem with my first born. People would tell me just to let him cry it out. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Rest assured that as much as this seems like it will never end, I promise it will, sooner than you think. Some babies just need that rocking motion they only get from being held standing up. Very soon your baby girl will learn how to stay soothed on her own. Until then, keep standing with her. God Bless!!!!

Are you sure she wants to be held at all? My daughter did the strangest thing when she was that little...She would start to fuss...(and she had been fed and changed, so i knew it wasn't that) I would pick her up...if she continued to fuss...she was tired...and I had about 2 minutes to lay her on her side and prop her up with a blanket, or else it wouldn't end. She didn't want to be held at all...she just wanted to go to sleep, in the position that she was comfortable sleeping in. It was the weirdest thing. She started daycare at 4 months, and I told the daycare provider that if she started to cry and she was fed and changed...put her down right away! She looked at me like i was crazy!! But then I picked her up that night...the daycare provided said "wow....you were right!!" No one had ever heard of a child crying to be put down!!! I'm glad i figured it out...

My daughter did the same thing. It will go away with time. Just hang in there. I was told this is very common for some reason.

Hi Lisa,

Your situation sounds identical to what my husband and I went through when our daughter was roughly the same age. So many times, we simply couldn't sit down and found that standing or walking calmed her down wonderfully, albeit the process was cumbersome at times. I recall thinking the same thing about spoiling my daughter but looking back, I honestly believe that no child can be spoiled when they are only 5 months old. I think that you'll find that your daughter's habits and behavior will continue to change over the coming months and life will be different before you know it. If at all possible, I would suggest trying to give what your child needs however quirky it may seem - just my personal opinion. One thing that helped me was the purchase of a frontal baby carrier like a BabyBjorn. I do hope that you gain some good advice and I wish you all the very best. Enjoy the cuddle time with your daughter. My daughter has quickly grown in 18 months old and now that she is walking, she has no time for cuddles. How I miss that!! N.