My daughter just turned 7 in May. I realize she's "growing up", but even though she enjoys being loved on, most of he time she is so distant! She zones out, is rude when someone disturbs her, and is generally distant from the rest of us. I have two other children (2 & almost 5), and while we are playing around together, she will sit off by herself unless invited over! There seems to be a wall up between her and the rest of us that I can't break down. Is this normal at this age?
This does not seem like normal behavior. Have you tried spending 1 on 1 time with her? Some time just with you where can have some girl talk. If you have tried this and are not getting anywhere I would speak to a therapist. There may be something happening that she is too afraid to talk about. I hate to go straight to a negative, but you need to rule out the big ugly things first.
Good Luck!
could be a lot of things. as a mom you need to be a detective, to get to know your kids' individual learning and love languages in order to parent them effectively. it could be something like a form of autism, but it's more likely that she's just an introvert who is happy in her own head and doesn't care for abrupt disconnection from her thoughts. rather than trying to break down her wall, why not try seeing if you can get her to invite you inside it, and figure out why it was constructed in the first place? maybe it doesn't need to get torn down at all. the world needs introverted people too.
khairete
S.
Mom, I would have the pediatrician do a thorough exam and tell him about your concerns with her anti-social behavior. Explain to him her behavior in detail give examples you've observed. Has one of your daughter's teachers ever mentioned this behavior to you? As an earlier Mom mentioned, just as a precaution, I might ask the Dr if he/she thinks your daughter might need to be evaluated for autism or ADHD. As a teacher I have worked with a few children who acted similarly early on in elementary school a few were found to have have Asperger's syndrome, a high functioning type of autism, the children wiht this are quite intelligent, but can often not relate to others, children and adults socially. Early intervention is key if this is the case and the treatment is good. Good Luck
Is this just at home with the family, or is she like that in school or other group settings?
Some people are introverts and some are extroverts. Introverts have a preference for viewing the world from the outside looking in while extroverts want to be a part of the action. Which type of person is your 7 year old?
Jaimee K. asked if she is happy. I think that too is something to look into. If she is content, then this is just a part of her character. If she isn't, has something happened to cause her to be a different child than you are used to?
You will need to do some more research into the very heart of your child. Study her closely.
Is she happy? I have two children who are content playing (being) by themselves and two who prefer to be with everyone. But they are all happy. My 7 year old is the one who can be the rudest. He has meltdowns if he is disturbed but I don't know if it's the age or just the fact that he's the 4th out of 5 kids. I spend time with him one on one and I make sure the other kids aren't bothering him or picking on him too much. I also try to talk to him about his behavior or attitude. Otherwise, he's a happy kid. Good luck to you!
Good Morning
So I think that it is not okay or normal for a 7 year old so to speak for her that she has become distant. I think that you know her better then anyone else your her mom and if your concernend then there is a reason to be concerned. Firstly I am sorry you are going through that it must be so difficult:( Secondly I am a mom of 3 little ones 6, 3 and 16 monthes. If that was our oldest acting distant I would soon set up a date night just for her and you ( not as a reward or anyting for the behavior just to see that you have time just for her) maybe ice cream and movies or just time to talk with no distractions (ie little ones) and then try to get her to open up by being very patient and understanding. Chances are one day she didn't decide to act off , something is upsetting her and by having your undivided attention I bet she will open up. It may take a while at first but be really assuring that she can tell you anything and that you want her to feel better and you can help her feel better by telling you what's bothering her. If our oldest ever was upset sometimes she would always want me to lay with her at bedtime and then tell me about her day at school but this I think you would get your answer if just the two of you spend an evening out together. Good luck parenting isn't easy always but I would do just that in your position.!!!
Assuming there's nothing bad going on in her life, it's probably just her personality. My son's girlfriend's mom was just telling me that her daughter was kind of like your daughter when she was young. She's an adorable, smart girl at 16.
Keep loving on her, and let her zone out and be distant, if that what she likes. Don't let her be rude, though.
S.,
This is what I think. Keep a small log and document what's going on. It could jus be her personality, but it could also be something else. Document how she acts with others outside of the house and when you take her to see the pediatriacian, let her/him know and see what they think. Like I said, it could just be her personality but the doctor might want to test her and make sure that there is nothing else to worry about. If she needs some sort of treatment it is best to start with it now that she is young. I don't think this is a normal behavior for a 7 year old, but just because my children are not like yours it doesn't mean there is something wrong with yours. But it is better to be safe than sorry, so take her to the doctor's office and share your concerns.
Blessings
