Any Other Introverts Out There?

I like to be alone. I am ok with people, and love to be around the right people ;)

but I get overwhelmed if I don't get a chance to be alone every so often. I can start to get testy and even anxious.

I'm exactly this way too. An introvert. Have you taken the Myers-Briggs Typology Indicator? I'm an INTJ.

I'm more of an ambivert. Everyone thinks I'm a raging extrovert- I do love people, meeting new people, and am gregarious. I have a tendency to be the center of attention, but it's not intentional. I'm a musician, and enjoy being on stage and performing.
However, my main interests/hobbies that are more introverted in nature. Reading, practicing/ composing music, gardening, listening to recordings, etc. I do need my alone time to do the things I enjoy, and I savor it (esp with two little ones running around).
I do think it's possible to be both. I have tested out as both sides- and have found that it depends on the mood I'm in that day, or what I am doing.

Heck, yes! You might enjoy this article, "Introverts Are Not Failed Extroverts."

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons/201212/int...

There's a FB page called Introverts are Awesome. You are not alone. And introversion is not just one level. You can be really good at being "on" at work and then come home and want to just read. Or you can party hard...and then take a day to recharge.

I took a page from "You Don't Look Sick" and told DH, "I'm out of spoons." He's an extrovert and recharges by doing stuff. I, well, don't. He understood that pretty well. If we are at a party, he's usually in the middle and I'm on the side. When my SD was little, I found her to be exhausting. Sometimes I would say, "DH, SD wants friends over. I don't have it in me so can you take the lead on wrangling them?"

I explain it like this:

Extroverts love a roomfull of strangers. Going out and meeting new people charges their batteries.

The introverts can also be the life of the party - but it drains our battery.

So where the extrovert is up and energized after being around people, the introvert just needs time to spend by themselves recharging their batteries.

And that's when about 1/2 look at me like I have 9 heads. The other half are people who can put down their guard for a second, be a real human and say "oh, yeah i get that".

You be you. :)

Some people NEED to be with other people CONSTANTLY.
They actually get anxious if they have to spend any time alone - they need constant feedback.
I'm happy to be alone for long periods - it doesn't bother me.
I read, garden, do puzzles - I always have something to do that I enjoy doing.
It doesn't bother me to be with people (I can't stand large crowds) but I do need some alone time.
I don't try to explain it - they either understand or they don't.

That's me! I definitely have to take breaks from talking to people all the time and some people understand---alot don't because I have friends who are mostly super social.extroverts. But for my other introverted friends, they understand completely.

I don't try to explain to anyone. I just do what I need to do and without explaining or apology. Just step away or outside for a few if you need a break.

Yep.

There are 4 basic types, psychologically speaking, starting with yours first c

- Outgoing Introvert
- Outgoing extrovert
- Shy introvert (loner)
- Shy extrovert (wallflower)

People often confuse

- shy extroverts with introverts. Shy extroverts have a NEED to be around people, but they're shy so they end to hover around the edges.

- outgoing introverts with extroverts.

I would say the next time it "comes up" just change the subject. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, just be who you are!

I was told by a therapist friend to read the book "Quiet." It claims 1/3 of us are introverts.

Oh, yes. I also can function very highly socially. I just HATE it. I worked in a medical setting once, that required me to chat and get to know patients. I was great at my job, but I got home and freaking crashed. I'm definitely NOT an outgoing-extrovert, though. I am also not a shy-introvert. I am really right in between.

I tend to be around other introverts, mostly. I kind of had to choose them, because I don't really enjoy being around extroverts a lot. I do have a few very good extroverted friends, but they are friends I only actually see every few months. We talk often, but don't go out. There are things I deeply admire about extroverts, and traits I'm glad I don't have. I guess that's no different then all personalities, really.

-No one has ever asked me an explanation, people just know how I am!

I am definitely! I relate well w/ the "written word", as in text or email! LOVE it! Talking on the phone or even going out to meet someone, not so much. Making plans to meet a friend causes me anxiety...because I have to spend money, usually, it means time away from my family, who can't function w/out me (ok, not really, but since I like to be in control, that's how my brain works!) Of course, once I'm out, I'm so glad I did it and always proud of myself for making myself do it.

What bothers me is having "friends" who KNOW how I am and still getting mad at me for not going out to the bar every Friday night or feeling like I am "ignoring and blowing them off" even though we communicate daily on the phone and text. 1) I'm 40, I stopped going to the bar about 15 yrs ago! 2) that's a crowd of people I have NO desire to be around. 3) If I do go out, I'd rather it be w/our families!

O well...I guess me being there emotionally wasn't enough. Anyway, getting out is good for us all and important to maintain healthy relationships...like my great aunt once told me, sometimes we have to do something to make others happy, even if it doesn't make us happy. And that's ok! As long as we are happy sometimes too! :)

I completely understand, but I am shy also. I recently read this book: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. I found it completely fascinating.

I consider myself an extreme introvert. I totally understand what you mean. I am happy to only have maybe 2 good friends. I am exausted after being around a lot of other people. My husband has a big family and when they come over, I sometimes need to just go to my room and take a break, lol! I don't like being put on the spot and I don't like being in large crowds. I am a pretty quiet and laid back person. Sometimes I get mistaken for being rude or stuck up, but I'm really not. One on one, I'm great with other people. I love getting together with other people, but I just don't do well in crowds.
So, your not alone, I know how you feel, lol!

It isn't actually an introvert trait, I am an extrovert, big time!, and there have been times where I hide in bathrooms just to get away from it all.

You really should try the Myers Briggs, it is interesting how so many personalty traits make up your personality. Most people just chop it down to one or two, like introvert extrovert.

I can't remember what mine is but I know I have a lot in common with a lot of messed up rich people. :p
___________________
Love the question you think almost everything can be analyzed, yup, including this test....

ENTJ by the way....

I grew up being told by my mom that I was "anti-social". Nice, huh?

I'm really not anti-social - just an introvert. I can perform very well at parties and other functions where there are a lot of people, but it does drain me. I love my kids and husband, but on the rare days that they all have somewhere else to be, I could stand up and do a happy dance because I LOVE the company of me. Being alone is a treasure for me.

If you are an introvert, time alone isn't just nice, it's a necessity. My firstborn is an extrovert to the max. Husband travels all the time. When my son was little, I thought I would die some days when he was in my face every waking moment.

Have you found the facebook page "Introverts are Awesome"? It may give you some information if you have the need to share with others.

Sound very Meyers Briggs. which actually is why I would not look at you as if you had 9 heads. I get it! I HATE it when people associate Introvert with anti-social. Geesh! I also hate it when people associate extrovert with acting like a yapping Chihuahua that is always going a mile a minute and must be the center of attention.
I am you, but the opposite (I am an ENFJ). I get my energy from being out and about and meeting people, I still enjoy down time, can be alone and quiet, spend hours reading and enjoy it, but that is not how I re-charge.
So yes, I do feel the same way. When others pigeon hole you into some stereotype because of one aspect of your personality or character it can be challenging to explain to them that you are not one-dimensional:)

I am right there with you! I need quiet time to reflect and think or I am not good for anyone. I don't think that is strange at all. I don't care for lots of noise but I fully understand that others do enjoy it. I don't require others to change for me. When I need a little quiet then I find a quiet place. I just think that there are lots of different personalities and this is mine.

Yep, introvert, right here.
I joke that I can 'pass for an extrovert for short amounts of time', and that's true. I enjoy the short bursts of contact, and then enjoy even more being alone.

I can understand your frustration. It was only until relatively recently that being introverted wasn't considered a form of mental illness. And this stigmatization is still problematic: here's an article from 2 years ago, when the WHO and APA toyed with reclassifying a introversion as a potential personality disorder.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introv...

Where my introversion really affects my life: I cannot *do* groups for very long. This isn't about hating people :)-- it IS about the amount of stimuli my brain can take on. I have a harder time hearing people correctly because I am hearing more than one conversation at a time, and then have to sort all of this out. My brain gets tired and overwhelmed. For a long time, I thought it was a hearing issue-- the problem is actually that my brain is trying to catch, collect and process *all* that's going on around me. One -on-one friendships and conversations are much easier to process.

And it's hard to explain, I understand. One family member angrily accused me of 'trying to avoid responsibility' when I would take a break and go read for 20 minutes during holiday gatherings. It's hard to tell people "it's not about you, it's me" without then getting judged for being the problem. :(

Now, when I try to explain it to people (those I care about) I just say "You know how some people love to be at parties, flitting around and enjoying everyone else? That is fulfilling for extroverts, and they really get filled up. They think it's fun. I get filled up in that same way by having an in-depth conversation with a confidante or close friend. I like meeting new people, and enjoy learning about them/their stories, too. I just find that an evening of listening to lots of different stories and meeting lots of new people is just very, very wearing for me. My brain feels exhausted and it isn't *fun* for me. Not because of the people, but because I'm constantly processing everything." (I also happen to be extremely sensitive to other people's moods-- not related to introversion, necessarily, but also very draining to be constantly 'reading' people.)

If you haven't, consider reading the book "The Introvert Advantage: How to Survive in an Extrovert World". A dear friend raved about it-- she found that she was better able to understand herself and her daughter because of it.

Heidi-- great link. Thanks!

Yes, I'm an introvert too. INTJ all the way ;-)

I thought everyone liked quiet time to recharge? I don't really associate it with being an introvert.

I am somewhere in the middle - I like to be social when I actually want to socialize. I also love my quiet time at home.

I completely understand - also an INTJ. I do well in small groups (3-4 people). If it gets more than that or for extended periods of time, I get completely exhausted and emotionally drained. Then I need 'me" time to recharge.