Daughter Who Complains Too Much

You know I agree it could just be the age. My son, now 7, was a real champion of a whiner at age 5. We could hardly stand it. We refused to listen to what he had to say until he spoke in a normal voice. After awhile he grew out of it. I hope you start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel soon.

I don't want to worry you, but it sounds like she has anxiety issues. My niece was this same way and has just been diagnosed with Obsessive-compulsive Disorder at the age of 9 (the usual age for diagnosis- they "hide" it until then- that is, they don't tell you how truly compulsive they feel about this stuff until then). Don't make her feel bad or anxious about it, or else it can get worse.

Try this test with her: Switch roles for a day or two,,,You should whine excessively in an obnoxious voice, making demands of her,,,Let her play the role of Mommy figuring out what to do about your whining and obsessive demands. Don't approach it as a game or she will want to play it everyday., just go into character for a day and see what happens! It will allow her to see how she is acting, and unless it is due to a medical condition, she should begin to come out of it..hopefully,,after the test talk to her about how it was to deal with Mommy's whining!

I have a now 13 yr old and she went through that stage as well. I was at my wits end with her so I made up a rhyme. It was funny but it worked.

"Wendy Whiner go away, come again another day"

I did the same when she went through the bossy stage...

"Bossy Betty go away, come again another day"

This worked so well, all I had to do would be to call her Wendy or Betty ....she would laugh (sometimes get mad) but the behavior changed. We talk about this to this day and she laughs about it.

You are not doing anything wrong...we all want to be there and console our children. Believe me...they grow up TOO fast and I treasure the moments when my 13 yr old was so young.

Also, the school environment will also help her change.

Susan

I think it's the age. I have a 5 1/2 year old girl too and sometimes she can be very whiny about the littlest things. I know from talking to her friend's parents that little girl's really have a flare for the dramatic. My daughter called me into the bathroom one time b/c there was a bug. Well, it was really a tiny ant that you could hardly even see!
As another mom said, sometimes we enable the behavior. I've realized about myslef that when I'm in a hurry, running late, I sometimes allowed the whiny behavior b/c I just want to move one. i.e she asks to be picked up and I just did it b/c it'll help us get out of the house quicker. (even though she's 42 lbs and perfectly capable of walking! )My husband and I have been making a conscious effort to make her realize how much of a baby she is being. We constantly remind her that "big girl's" don't do such & such or "if you're going to act like a baby, than we'll treat you like one". It's helped a lot! She also was right on the cusp for Kinder, so we went ahead and enrolled her. I think being in school has helped as well b/c the teachers and other kids don't put up w/ it. She still has her moments, but it's certainly gotten a lot better. hth!
I love the idea of the song!!!

Hi A. - don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes what we mother's allow them to do, they do. Don't carry her next time unless it's really serious. Don't make a big deal about the bug, put some lotion on her legs and then ignore, or tell her if they bother her that much, maybe she should take a nap? Just some hints...I know girls can be a handful!

Good luck!!

Have you had her legs checked out? Maybe she has some issues. What does her dad do to soothe her? I find my husband can come up with the most effective ways to calm my kids that require little effort.

Love and Logic has a course on handeling anything and everything. Go to thier website and be prepared to laugh.
www.loveandlogic.com

I just had to laugh as I have a 4.5 year old and a 7 year old girl, and I know exactly how you feel. It is a combination of age, gender, and parents! Yes 5 year old girls tend to be whiny, and we tend to do whatever it takes to get them to stop, often with out even realizing it. So, I have had to sit mine down and show them how it feels to be talked to that way, for a whole day I would whine or complain about everything! They got soo frustrated. Then I told them that I would not listen to or aknowledge them until they spoke to me the right way. It took some big fits (they escalated before they got better, just to see if I was really gonna do it), but it did help. And, I encourage them to solve their own problems. The band-aids are within their reach..even if I dont think it needs a bandaid, I buy the cheap ones and let it go! There are fly swatters hanging in their reach for bugs that they can handle, aloe vera gel in the fridge for pretty much anything that ails them..a scrape, bug bite, itchy legs etc! They can get to the cups if they are thirsty, their jackets if they are cold etc. If they want to take their shoes off in the store so that they dont hurt their feet anymore..a complaint I have heard before, they are welcome to, but they have to carry the shoes around. Maybe she is doing it for attention, so just be sure that you are spending good time with her when she is not hurt or upset, hold her just because you want to be close to her, let her sit on your lap to watch a show etc. And, dont worry, those Kindergarten teachers are immune to the whines of a 5 year old, and they give it up pretty quickly, at least at school!! I am amazed at how much better my daughter is at school now than she is at home. Amazed and frustrated that she can clearly control herself when she wants to but that is another story! Anyway, sorry for the rambling, good luck....I am sure that she is just fine, and just needs a little redirection! Ohh, one more thing that really helped...let her do things you might not think she is ready for. Show her that you think she is a big girl. It is really hard to know how much they can do,esp with your first, but she can clean a bathroom (not a deep clean, but a clorox wipe kind of clean) by now, maybe ride a bike with out training wheels, help out with cooking, my 5 year olds favorite is that she gets to make her own sandwich for lunch, and pour her own milk. She loves to mop and fold laundry. She can do very big girl things, and that too may help!! OK enough! Good luck ~A.~

Not to disrespect what the other post said about obsessive-compulsive disorder, but a sweet little prissy 5 year old who whines is no reason to think it's OCD. She is just being a 5 year old girl. Anyone who has a daughter knows how "high maintainance" they can be. My 3 year old girl does the same thing sometimes--not all the time--but enough. That's girls! I liked the post that said to make a little rhyme out of it. Don't worry! It will pass. --C.