About 3 years ago, I adopted a cat from a lady on Craigslist. She brought the cat to my house with her two older kids. The entire time she was at my house, her kids went from room to room checking out everything in my house while she kept me distracted with conversation. My husband was sleeping still and they kept asking me if they could go in my room and after I said no a few different times, the mom still never told them to stop asking or stop roaming the house. It was quite awkward and uncomfortable and I honestly couldn't wait for them to leave. Soon after, she started stopping by completely uninvited and unexpectedly. I'd be out with the kids playing in the front yard and all of a sudden she's pull up in my driveway wanting to come "visit" with the cat.
I really didn't like that and don't care for anyone to just stop by without calling first especially someone I barely know. She seemed to still be very emotionally attached to the cat which made it confusing to me as to why she ever got rid of him. She said her reason was her husband didn't want the cat so she had to rehome him. Well I almost felt that I was baby-sitting the cat for her instead of adopting him into her home and I figured it must be confusing to the kitty trying to get used to his new home only to have old owner keep popping in and reminding him of his old life.
So anyhow 3 yrs later, the cat now lives with a family member of mine and all of a sudden I get a friend request from her on FB and didn't think much about it so I accepted. I figured since we moved by now and don't have the cat anymore, then there's no reason we can't just say hi on facebook. I explained to here where the cat is now and she was fine with everything but NOW want's my address so she can come by and catch up on everything! I don't plan on giving it to her but she also lives very close and I'm almost scared I'll run into her around town and she'll start asking me again where we live. I rarely have people over, I'm hoestly just not much of a people person, I take care of my house and kids all day and rarely have time for a phone conversation with my mom.
Is this a little crazy or is she just a big time people person? I wouldn't mind giving it out to her IF I knew she would call before but she never did in the past so I'm very hesitant about this, especially with how her own children behaved in my home. Do I just keep avoiding her all together on FB now or should I delete her from my friend list? We also have no friends in common so I know she had to track me down on FB and she's requesting I send pictures of the cat!!
Anyhow, sorry this is so long, looking forward to hearing what you mamas have to say. Hope everyone has a great day!
Ok mamas, thank you for all of your responses and I have deleted her from my friend list. To the mom who posted saying she probably went by my old house looking for me, YES that's exactly what she did and she admitted to it saying she went by our old house, noticed it empty so she knew we had moved. I haven't had a facebook account for long so who knows just how long she's been looking for me. What I thought was the weirdest thing was after me telling her I dont have the cat anymore and she still wanted to come by.....it just didn't sit right with me. It makes me think all those other times she stopped by unexpectedly were for other reasons. I have indeed stopped meeting anyone from craigslist so I have learned my lesson, if I ever buy something from someone now, I meet them at a local busy parking lot with hubby in the car. I also thought it was strange that half of the people on my facebook account are old school friends, people I grew up with and none of them ask for my "address' so we can "catch up". Everyone has their own life and that's why I like facebook because you can stay in contact with peoplle w/out them having to call or come over! : ) Anyhow, thanks again for all of your advice, it really opened my eyes to see there might be more going on with this lady. I like the advice of telling her were in the middle of a move if I ever run into her. It is a very small town we live in, I'm surprised we haven't run into eachother yet, but thanks again and I'll keep you updated if anything changes.
If it were me, I would immediately unfriend/block her on FB. If I were you, I would not be giving her my new address or phone number. She sounds like a whack job.
I would unfriend her. She could just be lonely, but this actually sounds a bit creepy...too creepy for me like she is stalking you.
She sounds lonely and a bit socially retarded and is teaching her children, her poor children, to be social clods themselves. A lonely social retard is a bad combo. You don't owe her anything so don't feel guilty or pressured to invest any more emotion into this "relationship". If it were me, being the private person that I am, I'd de-friend her and if we met in a public place I'd be polite but keep my answers to her questions monosyllabic and I'd leave as soon as possible.
Do not. I repeat, DO NOT give this woman your new address. She will not have changed her ways. If you give her your new address you'll have to deal with her version of friendship for as long as you live there. Just hope she doesn't hop in her car and follow you home.
People like her make me feel invaded. It used to make me uncomfortable and shy. I used to be excessively polite and all the while wishing I was anywhere else but with this person. Eventually all my bottled up irritation became a spark of anger and now I hold onto it when dealing with people like this.
It's hard for them to keep up a conversation with someone who stares at them stonily with clipped answers to far too personal questions.
In the future never give your address to anyone on craigslist. If you find something you want on there, always make a point to go to their place or no sale. Also, bring a friend with you. Never go alone.
Block her from facebook and if she tries to contact you again, contact the police. She is VERY suspicious! I find it creepy about her kids searching your rooms etc. It sounds like she was having them look for valuables! Do not engage in any conversations with her. There is no reason for her to be in your life.
M
Delete her from your friend list! (Should not have accepted it in the first place, based on your history with her...but that's in the past.)
She is 2 tacos short of a Mexican Dinner plate and you must severe ties.
I dont' really have an answer other than to say, this is why you should never invite Craig's List people into your home. Always meet at a neutral location.
I would send a picture of the cat and unfriend her.
I doubt that she's a Sanguine---I do suspect she's a CRAZY! De-friend her on FB (that was a mistake!) Not sure from your post but it sounds like you have moved from the house where she used to "pop in"? That's a good thing. There are crazy people in the world and they walk among us! :-)
Defriend her on facebook, now. Don't let her come over. She is a little 'off' and pretty soon, she will be demanding to know the address of where the cat is now too so she can drop in there too. I bet the reason she looked you up is b/c she went to your old house and they told her you don't live their anymore. I would send her one picture to tied her over for the next few years, then delete her and block her so she can't send you messages.
Yes, I would certainly delete her and block her from fb and avoid all further contact with her. If you run into her around town, then just do a quick hi and bye and move on. I never advocate rudeness but sometimes it's just necessary especially when a situation makes you feel uncomfortable.
Yes, she sounds bit strange. Maybe she is just super lonely and thinks you are a good friend candidate? If you do not want to be friends with her, de-friend her on FB. If you happen to run into her while out and about, be nice (but not overly so, don't want to give her any ideas!) but also be 'in a hurry, without time to chat'
Unfriend her now and if she send you a message or friend request again don't respond. You were way too polite to her when she kept stopping by to 'visit her cat'. Should have put your foot down then. Definately do it now.
I would unfriend her ASAP. She may be trying to gather information on who your other friends are and who knows, they may accept her friendship because she knows you. You can block her or just unfriend her and if she sends another request, press ignore. If you press ignore 3 times, she wont have the ability to ask you again.
As far as her asking for your address, just politely decline and say that your husband doesn't like people over. But, did you change your personal settings within facebook NOT to include your address? It automatically allows people to see your address unless you set it not to.
Good luck.
Uhhhh no! She may be lonely, but honestly she sounds like a weird-o! I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Politely tell her you don't really see the cat often anymore, and the cat is very happy, but she needs to stop asking about it or worrying about it.
You can feel sorry for her, but if you feel uncomfortable, listen to your intuition! It's never wrong.
Never let anyone know where you live...this turned out uncomfortable, but it could have been deadly.
PS Don't piss her off, just let her down nicely, as your current address, may show up on TONS of white pages, pipl, people search websites. I check them monthly and have them take my info off, even if I have to send a return receipt letter. Too much info out there makes in dangerous for some of us.
Sounds like she needs/wants a friend but to me she is being way too clingy! Coming over unannouced? My own family doesn't even do that even though they know that I wouldn't mind it if they did but a friend doing this in my opinion is very inappropriate unless you just have that type of relationship.
You should have nipped it in the bud from the get-go because now she thinks nothing of it~and her kids roaming about in your home and her not getting onto them to respect bounderies??? I wouldn't have any contact with her at all and IF and WHEN you run into her while out and about in town keep it short and simple. "I'm so sorry I have an appointment to get to, or I have another errand to run before such and such but it was so nice to see you. If she still pressures you for an address just tell her you know we are actually in the middle of another move perhaps but give me your number and I will call you when we get settled in. You keep giving her excuses unless she is completely insane will get the point. I don't advocate for lying but sometimes you have to in order to keep the crazy's out of your life. I hope you learned your lesson with craiglist-don't ever ever agree for anyone to come out to your home for anything!!! Meet them in a very public place and take someone with you like a big brusky man if possible-lol! Don't you know that craiglist is where the crazies go shopping-lol! No, not ALL of them but I myself have come across some crazy people and you just have to trust your gut sometimes. People have been robbed blind because they made a post about something out at the end of their driveway or something they wanted to get rid of and the people have seen what else they got-be careful!
She is as crazy as a bed-bug....get rid of her as quick as you can! Just sayin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah she's crazy. and when she asks where you live tell her you don't feel comfortable telling her where you live. and that's that.
I don't think you need her friendship, why don't you just say, "I'm really busy these days and don't have time for visits." Let her take that how she wishes. This is a good time to learn how to set boundaries.
It would be a good exercise for you to learn how to tell people "no," but if you can't do it then you could just de-friend her. She'll live.
And if you run into her, which is unlikely, just say hi and move on.
You are not obligated to be her friend.
OK. You're probably a Phlegmatic-Melancholy and she's probably a Sanguine or 'people person' as you said (and maybe Choleric) -- like me. Still, you have a RIGHT to your privacy, and you don't have any obligation to give her any more information than you feel comfortable with. Some people are just open about everything (again, like me) and some are more private (like my husband). No one has the right to pry, invade, or otherwise encroach on another's space without the other's invitation and/or permission. My mom always said, "Your freedom ends where my nose begins," if that makes any sense! LOL Just ignore her as much as possible, or at least don't encourage further interaction. Maybe even send her a private message on FB telling her that you are a very private person, and while you attempt to be cordial and polite, you only share your home, time and life with very few people.
For clarification the temperaments are:
Peaceful Phlegmatic - do things the EASY way.
Perfect Melancholy - do things the PROPER way.
Powerful Choleric - do things THEIR way.
Popular Sanguine - do thing the FUN way.
Uh, R., I think we know the SAME lady!! What was her name. I'm dying to know! I forgot the lady's name that was stalking me, but it was WEIRD! I live in Arlington. On Craigslist I had asked a question regarding my sick cat. She emailed me some info and kept emailing me about the cat for weeks and then started sending me regular type of emails like she was my friend. I told her that she seemed like a nice lady but that she was still a stranger and to please stop emailing me. She didn't stop! And then she friend requested me on facebook! I never even met the lady! I'm so dying to know her name. Please PM it to me!!
