Can't Get My Daughter to Sleep in Her Crib

I would read the 2 best books that I have read, and trust me I have read a ton!!! "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Karp and "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. The second one will help you the most...She talks about one example of trying to get a child to sleep in their crib, basically you start by introducing the room/crib to her for a little bit each day, then more and more and more....She says that she can change any behavior in 3 days...I have tried some things on my son and they have worked! She says that at night, if the child is crying, you go comfort her, pick her up, once she quits crying..You put her right back down..She talks about how one time she did this 176 in one night....The second night is was like 36...and so on..It is very hard work, but I think def worth it in the end! Hope it works =)

L.,

My daughter was the same way...I finally had to leave her crying in the crib until she fell asleep. The first night she cried for almost 20 minutes (just about broke my heart!), the second night she cried for 2 minutes, and ever since she has been sleeping through the night in her crib. If she does wake up, I go to her, let her wrap her arms around my neck, hold her (while she reamins in the crib) and rub her back until she drops to the crib matress and goes back to sleep. I hope you have success like I have...good luck and happy sleeping!

When my oldest went thru the wanting -to-sleep-with-mommy ordeal,we got him a toddler bed and moved him up to that. I wan to say he was about the same age. We made a big to do about it. We called it his big boy bed and let him help pick out his bed and comforter set.It was a simple white toddler bed and I think he picked out Bob the Builder,I cant remember. This did help us to at least keep him in his room at night.

I feel your pain! My kids hated their crib. And I mean HATED. I took my son out at 18 months and put the crib mattress on the floor. (My husband thought I was nuts). That was the first time he ever slept thru the nite! Daughter was similar, but at 10, she still doesn't sleep well at times. Good Luck

I applaud you for co-sleeping with your baby. They sleep so well when they know they are safe. Don't listen to the "let 'em cry it out" crowd - that's cruel! For thousands of years babies have cried to make sure their mothers were close by when they slept so they wouldn't get eaten by jackals. It's biologically hard-wired. (I'm not making this up, either. See "Our Babies, Oueselves" - Meredith Small). She just wants to feel safe.

I have a futon (just the matress part) on the floor in the kids' room, instead of a bed, and I can lie down next to my baby (18 months) and that helps him fall asleep for naptime, although you could just take a twin matress and put it on the floor (or crib matress, though it's not as comfortable for the adult). You can start off by having it in your room, if that helps.

Besides, at 17 months, your babe may be able to crawl out of a crib and take a nasty fall. (I saw a 15-month old with a cast on her arm a few weeks ago - she fell escaping her crib. That family also put the matress on the floor)

I happened on the futon idea because I had one laying around, and started using it for daytime naps - I usually co-slept with the baby and he falls asleep more quickly with me next to him (we joked that he would wake up whenever someone wasn't breathing on his head.)

Not only can you lie down next to them while they drop off, but if they roll off the edge, onto the carpet, they won't get hurt (they may not even wake up!)

Like I said, I happened upon this idea, and later, I found out that the futon-on-the-floor model is popular in Japan (more futons in general), it is also recommended in some of the Montessori books, because it's easy for kids to get in and out by themselves, and, most importantly, you don't have to worry about the arm getting caught in the rail of the toddler bed. (There was somthing in the news about kids breaking their arms in toddler beds just about the time I was about to get one for my now-four-year-old. So I kept the futon.)

Now its a good place for storytime and it's big enough (full-size) for both my boys to curl up together. (Although, now that it's winter, the four year old usually climbs into my bed in the middle of the night. Another reason I think everyone should learn how to co-sleep safely - whether it's monsters under the bed, cold weather, nightmares, or a bad storm, eventually almost every kid will want to spend a night in Mom's bed.)

Hi L.. It's so weird. It seems that someone is writing about me. I really don't have any advice, bc I'm still going through this as well. I just want you to know that there is someone else out there that has been through what you are going through. Hope it helps. My daughter just turned 3, Feb. 3rd, and still sleeps with us. I too put her in the bed with us once she was able to come home from being in the NICU for 9 days. I was worried that she might have another seizure or something and I wouldn't know it. She had an intraventricular hemorage (brain bleed) that caused her to have seizures. This started the day after she was born and stopped 3 days later. The doctors couldn't explain it bc this is something that most of the time only happens to premies. My daughter was only 6 days early. This is the first time I am writing in one of these. I could go on and on, but I don't know if there is going to be enough room. Please message me if you want to know anything about what I have done about the issue.

If you are committed to getting her in her own bed the only thing that worked for us was letting our son cry it out. Check out the sleeplady website out. Best wishes...

K.

my lil prince was a preemie, and came home on O2 and more monitors than I want to think about. he stayed in our room, always, but needed to be next to me, so we would sit together for a long time before I put him in his bed. His bed was in my room, so I would lay at the foot so he could see me until one of us fell asleep. it's a thought...

Hi L.,

I had the same issue with one of my daughters, your husband is right, I think she is looking for your scent. I did place my night gown (not a laundered one)in the crib, but I laid it out on the mattress and then put my daughter to sleep on her stomach, (I know taboo, but it's alright)on the gown. This did the trick. Give it another try. GOOD LUCK ;~)

Something I did with some of mine was to put the crib with the rail down next to my bed (called side car) so I could pat them or even slip closer if the rail was off. They knew I was there but I could sleep too. We transitioned to the crib in another room or behind a dresser or wardrobe later. Hope that helps!

Blessings!

K.

I just did this with my 15 month old. He was 9 weeks preemie and when we brought home our newborn (6 weeks preemie) we had too many people in the bed!!

I hate the Ferber method; can't stand to hear my babies cry.

I did a modified Super Nanny approach.

Rocking chair in room exactly by the bed. Do bedtime routine, hugs and kisses, put in bed. Stay until they go to sleep. Hold their hand, pat their back, whatever works, but leave them in the bed. Anytime she wakes up go back in and hugs, kisses, and stay in that chair until she is asleep. The first night my guy cried for about 5 min then sat and starred at me for 30 min. He did get up 2 times that night.

Do the exact same thing with no change for 3 nights. Then move the chair a little closer to the door. I moved mine about a foot.

Move your chair every 3 days; but never change your routine. It will take on average 14 days.

After the first day, my guy did not get up in the night again. After the 2nd day, it took 3 to 5 minutes of me sitting in the chair for him to be sound asleep. After the 7th day, I no longer had to stay in the room; I just hug and kiss and in the bed. Doesn't even cry!

It's a miracle.

He's the first child I have ever been strong enough to do this and it is the best thing I ever did.

Good luck. Find what works for you.

I have two boys ages 5 and 20 months. My five year old climbed out of the crib when he was 13 months old and landed on his head. From that point on I didn't want to put him back in it so I transitioned him into a twin bed. It was easier than I thought. Although dad and I ended up sleeping with him several nights he did stay in the bed on the nights we made it to our own bed. Your daughter not being used to a crib would probably do better laying in a regular bed since that is what she is used to. I would give it a try.

I went through the same thing. My son at 12 months didn't want to sleep with us but was petrified of his crib. I spent some long nights on a sleeping bag on the floor until I convinced my husband he was scared of his crib. We converted it and we never had a problem after that. I tried the whole let them cry it out but my son would cry for 20 minutes and throw up all over the place. I cleaned everything up tried again and he threw up again. Crying it out hasn't worked around here. After converting the crib he didn't want to sleep with us. Even now that he is three we try to get him to lay in our bed and talk and he will lay there for five minutes and say "well good night I will see you in the morning."

Good luck

B. M.

Try soft music, My daughter is 12 years old and still has the same lullaby tunes playing when she can't sleep. Only she now turns it on herself.
I used to sing them to her while the music played so when she fell asleep, I could slowly leave the room but she would hear the music playing not me leaving. Hope it helps.

I had this same problem! But what worked for me was putting her in the crib during the day and playing with her and some toys. Then when she got kind of use to the crib I started putting her in it during the day for naps. After a while she was able to sleep in it at night. Hope this is of help.

Hey L.
I know the feeling!!! I went through the same thing with my daughter. I think your daughter may be too old for the crib. I know you're probably thinking well what a waste but who knows, maybe there will be another baby. My father wanted to buy everything Disney princess for my daughter so she got the table, toy box, toy bins, chairs and a toddler bed. She was so excited! I did the extra mattress in her room for a while so I could lay comfortably in her room waiting for her to fall asleep. After a while I did the "Super Nanny" thing... of course this was after my daughter turned two. I really believe in the methods the Super Nanny uses on her show for making your child go to sleep in his or her own room and bed. Sure it seems cruel sometimes and yes you do sometimes have to put the child back into bed over and over but check out some of her shows and see how she does it. Maybe let your daughter pick out a princess bed or dora or spongebob bed by herself and make it like a special event of getting ready for bed because she's a big girl now. We do the teeth brushing and she picks out a book that we read next to her bed and then we turn out the lights and she lays in her bed while I sit next to her bed for a little while without talking and then I walk out quietly. Sometimes we end up starting all over with putting her back over and over but they need to do it. By the way the scent of you on the shirt thing... that's for puppies, LOL! Gotta love husbands. My son liked having all of stuffed animals in bed with him. Hope something works for you... GOODLUCK!

Hello,
I have had the same sort of issue with my 18 month old. She was/is sick for most of her little life with asthma/RSV/ Pneumonia and also has JRA (juvenile Rheumatiod Arthritis)so needless to say I have had her in my bed for way too long. To add to it all I am STILL nursing her at night. Lately I have been Putting her in her crib and just letting her cry herself to sleep. I has been taking anywhere from 20-40 minutes sometimes for her to finally give up and go to sleep. Usually if she cries longer that that I check on her to make sure she doesn't have a BM or any other problem. Anyway it has been harder on me I think than her, since she cries Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... I guess my advise is that you just have to make the decision that you are going to do it and stick to it. If you give in sometimes, she'll keep crying knowing that eventually you'll rescue her. Just leave her although it's hard and she'll get the routine. I feel your pain, good luck.

We also used a modified-Ferber approach with both of our kids with GREAT results. The key is to stick with it once you start, or you're just teaching her to cry harder to get what she wants. The key is to get her to learn how to fall asleep alone in her crib... then you can deal with the night wakenings in the same way. You may be in for a few hard nights at first, but hopefully she'll get the idea soon and you'll all be getting a healthy night's sleep. Co-sleeping just didn't work for us... I felt like none of us slept well. Good luck to you.

i have the trouble with my 2 year old her daddy was never there the first year of her life so she was always in my bed with me. well when we moved in with her daddy we had to brake her and this is what my hubby did we gave her one baby doll or stuff anamil to cuddle with so she will not fill lonely gave her a night light and her fav. blanket and yes she cried for a bout a week or two for about an hour or two but then it get to where she did not want in no ones bed she even asked for hers

I have three children(girls)and I am a stay at home mom.My three year old has just started to sleep in her own bed.Reason why because she also had some med problem's,I was scared also.You are going to have to talk to her during the day about sleeping in her bed,also tell her a bed time story,pick out a book together and place her in the crib and sit where she can see you and start reading.If she get's up you lay her back down,it will be ruff for a couple of night's but she and you will get the hang of it.I learn this from a friend of mine with a 12month old and she is doing great.Stay strong it will get easy.

L.-

My daughter was not a preemie, but we co slept for a while and then she did all the same things your daughter is doing. What finally worked was modified Ferber for her. We just had to let her cry and I'll admit that it failed the first few tries because of me, but after I committed to sticking to it, she got it. NOw she'll go into her crib peacefully and she may cry and whimper for awhile, but she goes to sleep.

It sounds like your daughter doesn't know how to put herself to sleep or back to sleep. Here is a link that helped me:

http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?tsn=1&n...

Hope things change for you soon! A.

She just might not be ready to sleep alone after cosleeping for so long. 17 mos. is a really clingy, needy age. Our ds, who had slept in his own bed for a while, started climbing into bed with me around that age. He's now 2, and starting to prefer his own bed again.

So my advice is, unless there's some pressing reason to change the status quo, let her stay in bed with you until she's a little older.

Buy a remote Fisher Price Ocean Wonders crib toy (whatever it is) it's kinda a toy...well anyway with a remote you can start it it has a light the fish move and it plays the best baby sleep music you've ever heard...she will soon forget all about momma it plays about 15 mins when it goes off if she doesn't hit the button for it to play again you can outside her room from a remote. I got one from Sam's club I think it was about $30. My nephew and his wife love it not to say the baby does too. I got it this past christmas but look on line see who has one check out walmart or go on line to fisher price. I had one before the remote days and my kids loved it and couldn't sleep without till about 3 yr old or so best money I ever spent then too. Last time I got one for my kids was 4 yrs ago and then it was $25 without the remote so $30 for a remote is a good deal.
Best wishes...why let her cry when you don't have to??? Sleep should be peaceful making them cry and letting them feel not secure it's necessary.

Your not going to like the answer, but here goes. Babies are not born with the abilty to calm themselves. It has to be taught. Your daughter hasn't learned because she sleeps with you. It is going to be so hard, but well worth the work. Knowing that she is feed, dry, tired and not sick, you have to let her cry it out. She is used to you calming her and unless you want to have her in your bed at 5 yrs. old, you better start now. It is important for them to be able to calm themselves for many reasons. You can't always be there (pre-school etc). You will learn her cry pattern and it will get better each couple of days. It will feel like forever, but the payoff is a daughter you kiss good night and lay down awake that falls asleep peacefully alone. For more one the concept pick up the book called, On Becoming Baby Wise. I have 4 children and have seen a lot. That book changed our family. Now, everyone goes to bed before 8:00 pm peacefully and adult time begins.

My info: I am 35 happily married with 4 munchkins from 9 yrs to 1 yr. We are just outside of Atlanta, GA.

I've been there 3 times. Each time it got easier. It's really your child telling you that they don't want to sleep alone they want you when they cry but you have to be strong and let her cry. She will get used to it. It's harder on us because we don't want them to cry it hurts us. As long as you know that your child is safe let them cry through it. Soon she will be playing until you get up to take her out her crib. Good luck!

We had similar issues with our 7-year-old. As a baby, he had severe respiratory problems that caused him to be sick for 15 of his first 18 months. When he was five weeks old, I woke up to find him blue and gasping one morning, and he slept in my bed with me after that. By the time we decided he needed to be in his own bed, it turned into a huge battle.
I finally discovered something that worked. Instead of allowing him to sleep in our bed, I made him a pallet on the floor. I put a couple of soft blankets on the floor next to my bed, and he slept there. Every few days, I moved the blankets further away from my bed. After about two weeks, he decided his bed was more comfortable than the floor.
After he started sleeping in his bed, I kept the pallet on the floor in case he woke up upset. As he got older and was able to come to my room on his own, I made him start bringing his own blankets and pillow. He'd come in and ask to sleep with us, and I'd tell him to go get his blanket and pillow. By the time he got back to his room, he'd either get his stuff or decide he was too tired to make the trip back. By the time he was three, he was sleeping more in his own bed than anything.
Good luck finding what works best for you!