Sigh. I think the time has come to take a more formal approach to introducing my soon-to-be-10 yr old son to puberty and what it means to become a young man. A huge and sensitive subject to be sure. Up until now, we have just been very open and practical about the subject of boys and girls and moms and dads and looked for teachable moments to present themselves.
But given his recent but noticeable interest in girls (i.e. walking past a Victoria's Secret store is both awkward and funny), I want to buy a book or dvd on the subject. I know the mamapedia community will have some good recommendations for me! There is lots of ground to cover but for now I want to focus on books that address:
Hygiene
Physical changes (body hair and voice changes and sweat glands, etc)
New feelings and how the body acts on these feelings (erections, wet dreams, masturbation)
Learning to show RESPECT for ourselves and for girls (to help him get thru puberty w/as much grace and civility as possible)
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) [Paperback]
Robie H. Harris (Author), Michael Emberley (Illustrator)
My son is 11 1/2 and just had the sex ed. stuff at school. He said it was all stuff we already talk about. It's just my son and I, so we're pretty open and talk about all that stuff. If a book will help you with the conversation then definitely get one. I just talk plainly to my son--no emotion, no judgment. I know I can't get embarrassed or he'll get embarrassed. He just told me this morning he's getting hair "down there". If you think it's the right time to discuss it, you should. I've been talking to my son for awhile, because he was curious and asked and I'm okay with it. I do tell him that the conversations should be held in private and that they are between him and I-- not to be discussed with his friends at school (some parents aren't ready to have that information imparted on their children.) I actually had a neighbor tell me her son and daughter didn't need to know about "that stuff" because she thought they were too young. Guess who's sixth grade daughter took a very provacative picture on my son's phone for him and was running around only in a tank top and bikini bottoms on class trip to the beach? Guess who's son was talking about "having sex" with his "girlfriend"? I don't think it can ever be too young to discuss puberty, sex, etc. But it does need to be age appropriate. Remember, if you don't talk to him about it, he's getting all his info from his peers.
Good luck,
S.
PS I just tell my son girls are evil and will derail him from his very lofty goals, then he laughs and tells me about the fille du jour.
"It's Perfectly Normal" is a great book for that.
The Boys Body Book
Sounds like you are already doing a terrific job in approaching this subject to your son. I don't know of any books out there and honestly if you gave him the book he probably wouldn't read it anyway because he would be too embarrassed. If you are looking for a book for yourself, check the local bookshop and see which one fits your lifestyle the best. Also as far as the Hygiene, if your husband is willing, have him speak to your son about it, being a single mom I didn't have that option but I approached it open and frank about it all. While yes it was embarrassing for both of us we got thru it and then at 6th grade they do show/talk about it in school which helped because he was around his peers. Good Luck!
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"What's Going On Down There?" seems to be a good one. I got it for future reference for my son and haven't given it to him yet because I disapprove of the sections on sexuality. It's our job as his parents to teach him the morality involved with sexuality, not some book's, so I'm removing those pages before I give it to him at a future date.
