Blended Families - Prairie Village,KS

As far as getting him when you're supposed to... don't let her threaten you. All you need is a copy of your custody paperwork and you can go to the police station in her area and they will escort you to her house and remove the child for you (it doesn't matter if your backed up on child support or anything, a judge wrote the order and its their job to enforce it)... no one wants to do that of course. It would be traumatic for the child. But if she wants to threaten you remind her that on your time, you have the upper hand, period. Maybe if she recognizes that she is not the only one with an element of control (because she has him) then she'll be more reasonable. My hunny's ex used to do the same thing... we told her we'd bring the cops if we had to... we got the boys that weekend and our next weekend on time and ever since, she's been having us take them every weekend (guess she realized having a break is nice!) Right now she is probably being controling and clinging to what she is using as a manipulation tool with everything she's got... "the kid is mine and if you want him you'll have to jump through this hoop, and this one, and..." she's excersing her power over you-don't let her. And remind her that using your son as a tool is damging for everyone, maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it (i doubt it). GOOD LUCK!

Hi J.,
There is a lady here at work that is kinda going through the same thing, except it's that her ex-husband is "trying" to weasel his way out of it, or make excuses. She consistently brings up the court papers. Ironically, he's trying to get full custody of the kids. If there are court papers made up, tell her up front that this is what the court papers say and they must be adheared to. If there are no court papers, tell her that it will damage his mental image of his father, which I'm more than sure he loves him very much, but not having that time with his dad is going to hurt him in the long run. Tell her it will be more beneficial for him she let's him see his dad when he's supposed to, and when he wants to. Hope things go great for you guys. I'll pray for ya!

I have a friend who is going through the same thing. He told his ex wife if she didn't follow the court order correctly he would take her back to court to ensure it was enforced or adjusted (in his favor). She did better for a few visits after their talk but then went right back to her old ways. They are now in court and he is asking for custodial custody with her having visitation and his lawyer thinks they have a good chance of getting custody because he has documented each late or changed incident and her reasoning of which most is not valid he is arguing that she is trying to alienate him as a parent. Good Luck!

J., don't stress out about it. You have to understand that your dealing with an immature young lady that is still mad at the fact that your husband didn't MARRY HER! So she will do anything to disrupt your family but stay strong. Also, tell your husband to play by the rules. If she continues to play games tell him to go back to family court and inform the judge that his rights as a father are being violated. I want you and your husband to continue to love the young man and continue on the rountine that you all have and let the little boy know that you all love him very much and dismiss her foolishness. Keep your hand in GOD's hand and everything will work out for the best.

Z.