Can I Move?

Hi J.. I am in the process of a divorce and what I learned was that most court orders state a perimeter of where the child can live. However, I found a website with TX custodial laws that is very helpful. The address is: http://www.legalhelpinntx.com/law_office/faq/texas-childv.... I have a feeling from your post that your ex isn't going to let this happen to easily. I know that the goal of TX law is to keep the child in the lives of both natural parents as much as possible so you may have a difficult time. Good luck!

Child Custody laws can be tricky. Your best bet is to talkt a lawyer that deals with this on a daily basis.

D.
SAHM of thre: 19,18,and 5.

I haven't been involved in a divorce before but I think that's where you have him all year and then your ex hubby gets him for the whole summer and probably a holiday or two through out the year.

I worked for years in a family law court. In the state of Texas you are not allowed to move more than 100 miles from the father w/o written approval from him. Nor should you. The trouble with the children today is most don't have THEIR father in their lives . Don't, please don't take your son away from his father.

You're in for some heartache and trouble I'm afraid if you decide you want to take your son far away from his father. I suggest you look at your conservatorship papers very closely and you'll probably find that you can't legally move him, probably not even very far away at all. That's the point of "joint" rather than "sole" custody. If his father is involved in his life and would be opposed to you moving him, why would you even ponder that question? It's vital for a child to know both his parents, and barring any legal, medical or crazy life issues, why would you not want him to have his father in his life? I've been on both sides and can tell you, not having a parent (either one) in one's life is very detrimental to a person. Please rethink moving.

Hi J.,

I went through this recently in Texas. Look over your divorce papers carefully. Check to see if there are any geographic restrictions on where you and your son can live. If there is nothing in the divorce decree,it will be much harder for your ex to stop it. Please keep in mind he can still file papers with the court to try to stop you from leaving the state with his son. In my case the judge told my ex there was nothing in the original orders restricting where myself and the kids had to live, and because he didn't feel that the move was me trying to deny the father visitation, he allowed the move. Try to work out a visitation schedule your ex may go for, such as a longer stay with the father in the summer,and you paying most of the travel fees for your son. If you do go before the Judge, he will want to see that you tried to work out something so the father still has visitation time. I just wanted to add, that the court can not tell you that you can't move, but they can tell you the child has to stay in Texas if you want to remain primary custodian. It is all going to depend on your divorce decree, why you are wanting to move, how much your ex fights it, the Judge you get, and how much visitation the father actually exercises now. Good luck to you.

Well, you'll have to get some legal counsel as you will have to fight this out. As you are the one who's moving, there will be changes in visitation. If it was his father who was moving, you wouldn't have to do a thing. It just so happened that you're the primary.

Check your divorce decree. If it has been stipulated that you and your son live within certain counties, then you would have to work this out with your ex. It may seem expensive to hire legal counsel but it may get sticky that it will prove much easier for you in the end to have one.

My son and I are stuck here in Texas as this is in the decree. We would've been in Greenville, SC by now if not - sigh ...

HTH.

Probably not. My daughter's friend moved to Houston with her new husband because that's where his work was. And, even tho she drove to Dallas every time the child's father was to have visitation and there was no difference in his being able to see the child than when she lived here . . . the father took her to court and the judge made her bring the child back up here. So her new husband found a job up here and they moved back.

Hi J. - I didn't read all the posts, so sorry if this is a repeat :)

The question is more "should" you move than "can" you move. I am the child of 4 divorces. "Luckily", I was only "involved" in 2 of them. We moved a LOT because of them, though, and it was AWFUL!

We lived close to dad for the most part, saw him every weekend, he was involved in all holidays, etc. I was 10 at the time of the divorce, so the situation's a bit different, but the general issues are the same.

You didn't say anything about your relationship with the bio-dad. Is the bio-dad dangerous, mean, evil? If not, has he been a significant part of your son's life? Is the move a "want to" or a "have to" situation?

There's no easy answer, but try to step back and look at the big emotional picture. It may be "easier" in the short run for you, and I know you can't make ALL decisions based on your children. But the big emotional ones have repurcussions that last YEARS, even decades. I barely talk to my mother because her extreme selfishness in her decisions (past and present) were too much to bear.

Do your best not to take the path that looks easy or more convenient - it may not be in the long run.

Good luck and my heart is with you in this tough time.

It depends on what your divorce decree says. My husband's attorney was worthless, and his divorce decree lets his ex move wherever she wants - she just has to come to us to get the kids back from visitation, whereas if she stays in our county, he has to go get them and bring them back.

If your ex is involved in his child's life, why are you wanting to move him so far away?

I want to include - my husband was VERY involved in his children's lives - little league, PTA, parent teacher conferences - the works. She took them out of state for a year and made HUGE problems for him to get information from their doctors or their teachers - when they came back, the oldest didn't want to come over for visitation anymore. Now he's an angry 13 year old boy and she can't keep control of him - she blames my husband for, "throwing him away" when in fact she absconded off with both kids, told them how sorry their dad was and how he'd never see them again - and then bad mouthed him when we went to get them and she found out she'd have to come back to Texas to pick them up on her dime. It was only after she lost control - because EVERY CHILD NEEDS THEIR FATHER - that she started trying to push him off on his dad. We're more than happy to have him - but he still doesn't want to come.

S.

Read your divorce decree. It should address whether or not the parties may move and how far they may move. It will probably state that you may not move more than a predetermined distance without the other spouse's permission. If it does, the only choices you have are to go back to court and change that (which will not be too difficult if you can prove economic distress; however, it will be expensive), get your ex's permission to move (I would get that in writing before I actually comitted financially to the move) or stay here. It's very hard on children when both of their parents are not in their life, and closer is easier. I don't know your situation, but if the father is a good father, I would avoid moving far away if it were possible. God bless and good luck.

Been there. you have to have an order from the court to take the child out of the state. there was a supriam court ruling that said the court and or ex spouse can not tell you, you can not move to better you self. this being said transfer with job, schooling, cost of living, to be closer to ill parents etc.. This rulling was done i believe in 1994 maybe 1995. You just have to have permission from the court, but remember they cant tell you no. As for visitation the child will have to fly out to other parent when they become of age to fly by themsleves. Other then that the court will problay order the father to fly out to see the child. Thats how mine was written up. They also took away some child support to help with the air fare. Since you will have to share the cost of flying the child. I dont think kids can fly by themselves until they are 6. Hope this helps. Good luck.
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had to put that in there.

Not unless you give up custody or enter into an agreement with him. Texas courts will not allow it and I have spent well into the 6 figures to try to move. I will be on Texas until she turns 18. I've know several people who have all had the same experience.

There are more considerations here than just moving your household or if the law will allow you to take your son when you move. I have to agree with those asking you NOT to move. You may have moved on with your life, but your little boy still loves his daddy. Are you prepared for your son to resent you later in life because you took him away from his father?
I also agree with the person who asked you to put yourself in your Ex's shoes... wouldn't you fight tooth and nail to keep your son close enough to see him on a regular basis?

Just a few things to think about...

It all depends on how your divorce was settled. If the wording in your divorce includes restrictions on where you can live, than you do have to go back to court.

If there is NO wording on restrictions, than you can move out of state and the clause for over 150 miles takes in effect.

I will warn you, you may have to pay for 1/2 the plane ticket back and forth, and the non custodial father will have all summer visitation.

Unless you have to move, why would you want to move your son away from his father or vice versa? I can't imagine my children living hundreds of miles away from me. What if he was the one with primary custody and he wanted to move? Isn't your son going to be devistated by this? Your current husband, no matter how good he is to your son, can't replace the relationship between your son and your ex.

Hello,

Your child has already lost their dad living under the same roof. I think that it would be really bad not according to the law but emotionally for your son. if his father is in his life, then there is a bigger chance that he will be well rounded. If you move and he cannot see his dad regularly, then other problems might set in. Remember your new husband regardless of how well he likes your son or your son likes him, cannot replace his daddy. think for his sake.

Good Luck J..
I too have primary custody. But in my divorce decree it states I have to give him 90 days notice that I would be moving and a fowarding address doesn't have to be the physical address. Do you have anything in your divorce decree?
Otherwise, I don't know how you would go about that. Might be another court hearing!

Hello J.. You need to check your divorce paperwork and see what the residency restriction is. Normally here in the state of TX you cannot move outside of 60 miles without your ex's agreeance. I would behonest and talk to your ex about it. If he is not agreeable to it then you might have to hire a lawyer and go to court.

If your divorce decree is out of Denton or Collin County there is most likely a geographical restriction in the decree prohibiting you from moving your child outside of your county or contiguous counties. Read the decree and if there is a geographical restriction you will NOT be able to move without first going in front of the Judge, and even then it is totally left up to the Judge to allow the move. Courts do not like children being moved away from their non-custodial parent because generally it is not in their best interest.

I remarried in june also to a great man. If you have'nt yet look at your divorce papers and see what it has written on relocating. I was supposed to stay in the area of within the 5 surrounding counties near my ex because of his visitation rights. I was told by friends to go ahead and move. He would have to take me back to court to keep our child within the 5 counties. My ex is a real hard nose and I thought he would go nuts-figured he would head to court. We worked out a visitation plan. We moved and he has no plans to take me to court as long as he does get to see his son as promised.

J.,

I'm not an attorney and have not been through this situation, but I know when my mother-in-law divorced her second husband, they had joint custody and if she moved away, then she would have to pay to get them to see their dad during his time. If that is every other weekend, that could get expensive. However, the one thing he might agree to is a couple of holidays per year and then all summer...or perhaps you might have to alternate...one year with you, one year with him, with them going to the other person for holidays? I don't know. That is possible, but seems like it would be really hard on the kids. Good luck!

Hi J.,

I am thinking outside the box here. This is probably a long shot, but if your divorce decree papers say that you are not allowed to move out of state, would your ex consider moving to the East coast near you? I am just trying to help you live where you want to live. Best of luck!!!!

My sister moved from tx to tn and they still had to do visitation everywhere other weekend. That includes airline tickects or driving in friday after school and picking up sunday and arriving home at midnight. Of course the wednesday was changed and dad got more holiday time. Just remember to figure in the cost of travel...lots when you plan your move. My sisters husband woudl not budge on any thing. Even if he was out of town hunting he would still demand the boy travel 6 plus hours for one full day (saturday) and then be shipped off to a cousins house b/c he wasn't home. Of course my siters ex was not pleasant to work with and some parents make great arrangments and really work for the best interest of the kid. Be open. Don't be sneaky but do talk to your lawyer and get your facts straight. Good luck!

Hello J.,
I do believe you free to move anywhere within the country that you wish. You just have to give the Father the information as to where you are living. You usually have 30 days to provide the Courts and the Non-Custodial Parent of all contact info. There is only a problem or "Permission" needed when leaving the Country. Check your agreement to make sure. I hope this helps.