Seeking Single Parents Who Have Relocated

When I moved to another state my situation was very different. My ex hasn't seen the kids in going on 6 years now. By law, I had to file a relocation with the court house because we had a custody order. Even though he hasn't seen the kids in so long he still had the right to object. And of course, he did. We had to have a hearing to handle it all. The judge, of course, granted my relocation. But it was $2500 in attorney fees and a bunch of hassle. I wasn't permitted to move until the hearing and an order was made. If your ex does take his visitation, then he will most likely object to your move. At which point, if you should decide to take it to court, you have to prove it would be a better life for you and your child, and that you are moving for the right reasons. Not to just upset your ex. Best of luck to you in whatever you should choose.
I think I would talk to your ex if things are amicable. See his reaction and if you could come to an agreement about custody and visitation and go from there!

Well, I've seen situations like this before. The ex didn't really care about seeing their child, but as soon as the mom wanted to move, he was acting like he was father of the year and putting up a fight with the mom. You may have to face the same thing with your ex. Be prepared!!

Good luck!!

I think it depends on why you want to relocate. If you have a job offer or better opportunities, or more family support, that's one thing. If it's just to move away to get away from your ex, that's another. (If he's a problem, that's yet another issue.)

You will most likely have to petition the court for permission to move and take your son, and of course your visitation agreement will need to be reworked. So consult your attorney to see what's in your existing divorce decree (a lot of times the 2 parties sign during stressful times and forget what's in it with all the legalese). Once you refresh your memory of what's there and figure out how your reasons for relocating fit into it, you and your lawyer can decide how best to inform your ex.

A divorced friend of mine just had her ex decide to relocate, and it created all kinds of problems - he quit his job and just up and moved to an area with very few employment possibilities. She needed to get more child support because he was no longer going to be sharing physical custody, and they had to re-do the visitation.

But please do NOT say anything at all to your son or to anyone who may comment in front of him, until you have talked to your ex. Kids should not find this out before both parents know.

You should consult a lawyer.
The law might not allow you to move without the consent of your ex.

He can take you to court and stop you from moving away. You need to talk to him about this. If he says no you can talk to an attorney to see what to do then.

If it was me I might just send ex a return request letter stating I have a job and I am moving on March 1st to Mass just to see what he does....

I moved form California to Maryland with my son almost four years ago. His biological father/ my ex-husband definitely tried to fight the move in theory and made the process more difficult than it needed to be, but ultimately if you take out the emotional stress, it was pretty simple.

His dad had supervised visits once a week when we lived in the same city. He wouldn't simply stipulate to my move-away modification, so we went to court. The judge made it clear that it was my right to move and as DS's custodial parent, the assumption was that he would move with me. The task was then to plan how DS would maintain a relationship with his father from across the country and how/when he would be available for visits. I suggested regular Skype and his dad visiting here as well visits there when we visit family once a year for a week.

If you have a legal custody agreement, and the terms of that agreement and you are moving too far to maintain the terms of the agreement as they are, it has to be modified... you'll have to file for that... that's where your ex can decide to cooperate or not. He can't stop YOU from moving. He can TRY to stop you from moving WITH your son. But if the current arrangement is that he sees him once a month, and you have a clear plan about how you'll support them maintaining their relationship in a similar way after the move, no one's going to say custody should transfer to his father (which is the only other option, right?)

My advice would be to phrase it in terms of when you'll make your son AVAILABLE to his dad, not that you will ensure he sees him at those times. It's semantics, but it's made a difference in my case since his dad hasn't seen him in over two years because he doesn't make arrangements but

When you bring it up to him, do it in writing (email) "I'm thinking about moving to Mass. Since this will impact your time with ____, I wanted to plan with you while this is still in the early stages. What are you thoughts? ... and keep all conversation on this topic documented that way so you don't run into a he said she said.

Hope this helps.