First let me tell you congrats for being a good mom! It is not easy being the step mom, I know first hand. My husband and I went through a similar battle a few years ago. It took alot of work, and alot of money, and some pain. Our situation was different, and the mother was clearly unfit, so it was easier to win custody. What I did was keep a calendar just for my step daughters. Everytime they had something going on, visited their family, or was to be at their mom's, I put it on the calendar. I also marked any problems, phone calls, etc on it. We recorded all voicemails onto a digital recorder, and any phone calls we had with her, as well as the ones the girls would let us record. check with your state as to the rules of recording conversations and voicemails before doing. By the time we were able to afford a lawyer and go to court, I had 3 years of information. I then compiled it into a booklet with sections. Once was a spreadsheet of all the days the girls were supposed to be in her custody, and highlited diff colors for things like them not being physically with their mom on the days they were supposed to be, their mom was in the hospital, and such. Then I made a list of EVERYTHING on the calendar. Next I went through each voicemail and phone convo and paraphrased, with important comments noted by the minute/second they occured. Finally, I made a narrative explaining in plain text about their marriage, divorce, and everything that had happened since. It was not easy, and took about 300 hours to complete. I bought folders and made 5 copies of the "book" as we call it, and our lawyer planned on using it for evidence. When court time came, she had no lawyer, and pleaded out when she saw the book of info we had against her. I had to look up alot of general statutes, and spent a LONG time preparing, but after 4 years we finally gained full custody of our girls. They visit their mom every other weekend, and one week during the summer at their discretion. My ears and mind are open if you have any questions, or just need to vent. Sometimes being the step mom is the hardest kind of mom to be. Good luck and you will be in my prayers!