I never understood that expression before, I heard it but never had it applied to me until recently my therapist told me that I'm too hard on myself and I should stop beating myself up. Believe it or not, I'm still processing that feedback.
I get it, but want to know if you would share a situation when you were "too hard on you" and how you overcame that obstacle.
Thanks!
I'm going to try working on getting to the point of simply saying "I did my best, or I tried but things didn't work out/go as planned" and just leave it there. It'll be work in progress but I'm going to stay on track to realizing that goal.
Always......I have high expecations for myself because I know I am very capable. There are certain times when I have a pity party for myself, but I've learned that I just need to pick myself up and keep going....Everyone fails and that is ok....What's not ok is just giving up.
It's called being a woman, lol.
I think most of us suffer with that phenomenon. I am not so good at cleaning house (and no, I'm not exaggerating... I'm really bad), and I tend to over-guilt myself on it. I can spend more time feeling bad about it (and avoiding it) than it would actually take to do the work. LOL
That's a really simple example, but it happens with all sorts of things. Moms who work outside of the home have it the worst, I think. If they're doing really well at work, then they feel guilty about neglecting home, and if they're really putting home on the front burner, then they feel guilty about slacking off at work. It's tough!
I stay at home with my girls, but then I feel bad when I'm having a bad day and am not the best mom I could be that day. I feel guilty about being grumpy, etc.
Sometimes it's best to just have an "I've done enough for now. I'm going to make myself a cup of hot tea," moment and give yourself a pat on the back.
I'm definitely too hard on myself and always expecting the best. When I'm not, I really feel guilty about it. Right now I stay at home and put a lot of pressure on myself to be the best mom I can be. I'm working on trying to not beat myself up when I'm not my best self and am short with the kids and grumpy. I don't remember feeling quite so guilty when I worked... Some months are better for others and for me talking always helps.
Everyday!! I always make a to do list that is near impossible to do and I would never put so much on another persons plate, but I find myself overloading me all the time!! My first red flag was my husband saying, "what are you doing now? when are you gonna come & sit down already?" then I had that light bulb moment of why aren't I resting too? All this will be waiting in the morning1 why not enjoy an evening with my hubby? From then on I have to make a conscience effort to stop & smell the roses or I will miss life while trying to keep my house perfectly clean & everyoner taken care of etc....it just isn't worth it and yet i still have the tendency everyday. Welcome to the club!! =~P
all the time I hold my self to a very high unreachable standard as far as jobs and such. my so tells me that my friends and my ex bosses have.I had one job i got upset that I couldnt read the lnjes I needed to read I wear glasses and the lines were to small and I was doing my job wrong my boss told me not to be so hard on my self and said she did the same thing. they moved me to a section the lines werent so hard to read. it wasnt me that overcome the obsticle but her that took me out of it and made sure she never put me in that situation again. :)
omg - I don't even know where to begin. Here is one example from 3 yrs ago: I went to school full time, worked part-time, raised a 2 yr old, was 9 months preggo with second baby and I got a B on a project. I cried for days over that one. I was so devastated. I had a 4.0 GPA up until that point. My husband was in complete awe. Perhaps it was the hormones? In hind sight - who cares? So I was less than perfect.
Flash forward to life today: I'm a working mom. I hate every second of it. The guilt I feel for not staying at home consumes me. So, I'm a manager at work and I bust my butt working insanely hard and then I come home for more of the same. I give up sleep and any semblance of a life so that my kids have me for every moment that I'm not working. I don't go out - ever - for myself. My daughter is in school and has dance and piano. I never let my kids miss out on a moment of fun due to my schedule. So, at the end of the day I have a few moments of computer time and I crawl into bed utterly exhausted.
I have yet to overcome this obstacle. I think once my debt is paid off, I will seriously consider working part-time or staying at home. I know I can't carry on taking care of everyone but me, but it's so hard. I don't know why I strive to be superwoman - it sure isn't making me happy. I know I'm so far from perfect and yet I keep on trying to be and then get so upset with myself when I fall short. :(
Good Luck to you - I hope you can find a way to be more forgiving of yourself!
I tend to be insecure and think too much of what others "might" think of me. I also expect myself to be perfect. I'm working on it though.
Sometimes, it depends on the scenerio. I guess I am too hard on myself when I expect I can do everything and then don't get it all done. I get stressed, I feel like all the weight of whatever important situation it is falls on my shoulders, I feel like i'll be judged for not being super woman. During those times I also forget to ask for help....thinking I can do it all myself.
Examples would be like company coming, holidays, etc. You know, when you have to do last minute cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry, dealing with a cranky toddler, forgot that bill was due today, make the beds up nice for company, etc.
Over the years I just learned to ask for help, and if it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done and no one said I had to be super woman. So while it's gotten better it still happens from time to time.
Hope this helps.
