Any SAHM with a Nanny or Baby Sitter?

It's not unreasonable at all! You'll go nuts with absolutely no help and no time away from a baby or toddler! As soon as she's old enough, you should look into Mom's Morning Out programs.

I can relate to what C M said. When my kids were babies I took the everywhere with me, but I would time it just right. I wouldn’t plan my errands around the time they were ready to eat or take a nap. I wouldn’t run all my errands at once either. In between I would go home BF and have them take their naps. Once they got up BF, run another quick errand. Sure I had to schedule my day and once I found a groove it was no big deal. They are only small babies for so long so I knew it wasn’t forever =-) Now my youngest being 4 loves running errands with me. He even makes his own “shopping” list! I should mention that I don’t get my nails done ever and I get my hair done about every 4 months and I would make that appt. when I knew hubs was home as well as any Dr. appt. It gave him bonding time with the baby.

On the other hand I have a couple of neighbors that utilize the teenagers in our neighborhood who want to babysit so they can go grocery shopping or whatever while the baby naps. I see nothing wrong with it.

I'm wondering though why your husband disagrees. What are his reasons? If it's because he feels your money can be better spent that's a good reason...

I am a SAHM and I decided when my son was an infant that he would like going places...just like me. I am very much a believer that infants learn through repetition, so therefore if he was used to going places, he would learn to love it.

So almost every day I would (and still do) take him somewhere - the park, shopping, grocery store. And sure enough, he loves going places just as much as me now! He travels like a pro - even on long car trips.

I know a babysitter could be a tremendous help; I'm just offering another suggestion.

Good luck!

If money is no object, than whatever, but I personally have no trouble taking my kids (even as infants) with me to do errands, or out to relax, and you can nap when the baby naps. Everyone has to make the choice for themselves, but I would consider it a huge waste of money, and it would defeat the reason I decided to stay home, so that I can be the one caring for my children. Now having a sitter every so often so you can go get your hair done or something like that, that you can not do with a baby in tow, is something different. Most babies go through a phase where they might not like the car seat ect, but usually they get used to it and the battle ends. Also, my husband always makes sure that if I need me time I get it on his days off. I would not feel comfortable paying someone on a regular basis to care for my kids when I am not working.

There is nothing wrong with getting some time to yourself. My only caution is that babies will only get used to "life" if we expose them to it - even when uncomfortable... so take the baby, just adjust when you go to when she is most "happy". Also maybe get a day a week or a few hours a week to do those errands w/o her that you need to - i.e dentist... or do them once your husband is home or on the weekends. Ultimately, it's your decision - no wrong or right one.

I am a SAHM and HAD to get a nanny several times a week b/c of the spread in ages of my children. We also had no able family around and lived around all working parents, so no kids at home to just play with.

My husband travels A LOT. One morning after taking the eldest daughter to swim practice at 5:00 am, I came home to find my 3 yr. old walking up the street. The next day the neighbors brought him home.

My youngest, a baby at the time, was like your baby, preferred being home for naps, etc, but I was dragging her all over town for swim meets, water polo games, MOPS, all other kid/family errands/appointments/shopping. It was unfair to her.

It was financially tight but I am so glad we hired the extra help. We interviewed many people as I wanted someone who could drive the kids to there events if necessary, go to the park, cook, clean...do everything I would do as a mom. The only reason she is not with us anymore is b/c we moved. WE all loved her and she was the biggest blessing in our lives at the time.

It's all a personal preference, but seriously??? Your baby will outgrow being fussy in the car, mostly if she/he is exposed to the car and given a chance to get used to it. Don't isolate your baby at home...expose him to the world (safely, of course). And as a working mom who would LOVE more time with her kids and gets up at 5a each morning and goes to bed at 11p and is still up at night with her kids a lot of nights, I have no sympathy for folks wanting a nanny so they can take a nap. Enjoy and appreciate that you are able to home with your kids and BE with your kids. Put the money for the nanny in a 529 plan where it will do much more good for your child.

Sorry for the rant...

-M

If you can afford it there is absolutely nothing wrong with having someone come in and help while you run errands. It does not in any way make you a bad mom. It will make you feel better all the way around. A mom who is stressed and angry is not good for a baby and if all it takes is a sitter once a week so you can have time to run in and out of a bunch of places and maybe have lunch with your girlfriends I say go for it.

I'd say it depends a lot on your financial ability. I love being able to run errands w/o my son (2.5yrs) as it is quicker and easier on me. But I am a SAHM and we have bills to pay with our one income, so a nanny is not reasonable.

If I were in your situation, I would limit the amount of time I took baby out since she's so uncomfortable with it, yet make her get out. She needs to socialize and get fresh air and also get a good immune system built up and you need to get errands ran. Either pick two days to do your errands and stay home the other three days. Or go run just one errand a day so you're not out for too long. Get her some entertainment. My son liked this http://www.amazon.com/Bright-Starts-Hop-Along-Carrier/dp/...

Oh and I don't know any mom that has a nanny come for a few hours a week. I DO have parents in town and sometimes bring my son to them so I can run a few errands. So I know that's different than you. But also - I live out in the country, so going into town to run errands, I have to drive by their house anyways.

If this were my husband - I'd say "well if we can't get a nanny or babysitter for a few hours a week, then how about you give the baby a bath on Wednesday nights while I run to the store?"

UPDATE: Yesterday I was sick for the first time in my son's 2.5 years. I wish I had a nanny to come and take my son and play with him and care for him. I was a miserable mess and laid on the couch all day. I felt so bad that my son wasn't well taken care of, plus I felt worse having to get up and make him lunch, get him dressed, etc. SO -- I suggest you get your baby USED to someone else, so that when you are sick, baby won't make such a fuss being with someone else. (if my parent's wouldn't have been working, I'd have sent him to their house). Just a thought.

I have to say I agree with your husband. If you chose to be a SAHM then that's what it takes (YOU staying home with the baby). It's unfortunate that the baby does not like to travel, but you are going to have to break that soon otherwise you will go CRAZY!! Good luck!

It really depends on if you can afford it or not and what kind of agreement or understanding you and your husband made when it was decided you would be a stay at home mom. If you can't afford it, maybe you can become involved with some type of a babysitting co-op or create a small one with friends. I was a SAHM for a few years when my kids were infants/toddlers. Because of this mutual agreement between me and my husband, we couldn't afford to pay a nanny or sitter although I would have loved some time to myself during the day. You just have to weigh the pros and cons. Make time for yourself/errands when your husband gets home. Like another mom said, if you get tyour child used to being out, he/she will adjust, so start with short errands and gradually increase it. When the baby is older, do an erradn or two in between something fun like the park. If you have the attitude that you just can't take this child out, that is how it will be.

Not unreasonable at all. You are a mom not a maid!
You can do much more for your kids when you have a good helper around plus you can take care of your needs.
I can take classes and cook with my older son and play with my younger without worry that I have chores to do, thanks to nanny. I do not have to worry about being late or cleaning the house, I can be a better mom - relaxed and not stressed out.
I have more time for my hubby as well.
Go for it! I always insisted on having help, I am no superwoman.

I had to work really hard to get my daughter use to the carseat. I finally resorted to turning up the music in the car and singing along, as she screamed in the back... I just took her everywhere with me and eventually she stopped screaming and started being interested in where we were going... I couldn't stay home any longer, drove me nutty!
Good luck!
R.

Your baby is still very young. They stop crying all the time as they get older. So I would suggest at least going out with your baby once a week to get her acclimated. And gradually you can do it more. It's not good to isolate yourself in your home and your little one isn't being exposed to anything dangerous or destructive by bringing her out with you on errands. Try to work with what you have so that both you and your husband can be happy about it. there are usually more than just black and white answers and I think this question has a grey area answer. :)

Find someone and start by having them take care of your DD while you shower, and putter around the house, so she is not a stranger to you or your baby, can you somehow get your hubby to spend time and get to know her too? then take short trips to run errands and slowly incorporate her into your family's lives. You'll go crazy trying to stay home all the time with a baby who doesnt like the car seat!

If you can afford it, I don't think it's crazy at all! Why don't you hire someone to come in a few hours a week and just get a sense of this person first. Have her handle the baby, while you catch up on housework , take a bubble bath or something like that. Once you're comfortable w/ this person, then you can venture out and run some errands, get your hair done, etc. My friend is a SAHM and she did the very same thing.

Taking care of a young child full time is VERY hard and exhausting work, especially if you have a child that is very fussy or colicy. If you have a child that will only nap in their bed it makes is tremendously difficult to run errands.
In my case my little guy will only last about an hour while were out, which makes running more than one errand a time challenging to say the least. Additionally, he will only nap in his bed as well, and it must be very quiet and dark, which poses a challenge if I am out running errands. We did eventually hire a sitter for 8 hours a week to watch him while I go to the grocery store, run needed errands, or even get some well needed pampering (hair cuts, mani/pedis, a massage). It has done tremendous things for my overall mental and emotional health. I am happier, more patient and loving, and just a better mommy and wife in general. The fact is, that I need quiet and alone time, and with a little one that's very hard to come by. Hope this is what you were wanting.
PS
Hey S.,
As for worrying about hiring a sitter there are some excellent companies that hire out sitters. Many of those companies do background checks and you can interview them, read their resumes on-line, etc. We actually did this on our own when we hired our sitter. We interviewed about 4-5 women, had background checks done on all of them (with their permission of course), and even called all their references. We ended up with an absolutely fantastic sitter. She is great with our son, and lives close by.

I can see having someone come in maybe once a week or so to allow for necessary errands (especially during inclement weather where you don't want to drag the baby in and out); however, it won't hurt her to be in a car seat or stroller some too.

when my kids were really little, i swapped with another mom. One afternoon I would take hers, and one afternoon she would take mine.

Yes, you need some time off. Tell your husband that he can either give that to you himself (Saturday or Sunday) or you can hire someone once in a while. 2-3 times per week for several hours each time would be too much for me.

Now that my kids are older I want to hire a chaffeur!

I guess that all depends on your financial situation. If you can afford to have a sitter to make your life and your baby's life a little bit more pleasant, then go for it! I, personally, just took my baby everywhere because the financial adjustment to me staying home did not justify paying someone so that baby would spend less time crying. Eventually, she will get over being strapped in the carseat or stroller. You guys will work it out. Maybe she needs to go when she is fresh, right after a nap and feeding, maybe you need to wait until after she poops, I don't know, but if you keep trying you will find a way to make it work. Good luck

I think it is a briliant idea. I am a veteran mom (girls ages 5 and 10). If I had to do it over gain, I would have asked for more help, particularly with my first. I was too concerned with people thinking I was not the perfect mom if I needed help or I was selfish if I went to get my nails done. What nonsense! In retrospect, I think you become a better more tuned in mother when you take good care of yourself, are relaxed & rejuvenated. What is the saying: "If mama ain't happy than nobody is happy!" So true! I was and am a working mom so I did need to have child care. However, I have SAHM mom friends that have PT nannies and I applaud them as I look at it as investment in your emotional health. I hope you give yourself permision to take a break and have lunch with your friends from time to time. Many college students (moderate rates) would love the opportunity to play with your baby and care for her while you run errands so you could post an ad at your local college. Particularly if they are child development majors. Just be sure to call several refernces and try them out with your baby while you are present.
Take good care of yourself :) Hindsight as they say is 20/20

My daughter was just like this. I think help is a great idea if you can afford it. We couldn't so I just had to deal with it by trying to remember my mantra, "this too shall pass" and the serenity prayer. It does get better, I promise. But if you can have the help, do it. It takes a village. In generations past, grandmothers rocked and played with babies as did older siblings. These days, with smaller families, we just don't have that extended help so if you need some extra hands and can afford to pay for a nanny then I think there is nothing wrong with that.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help! My family lives far away and when I was working as a school psychologist, I always took my son to daycare 2 days a week so that I could get "stuff" done during the summer! I was far more efficient and knew that I had a set time to get my errands runs, hair cut, shopping return phone calls and get some cooking done for the week.

I'm a 12 month administrator now, but never felt guilty about dropping him off for a few hours! My mom and husband thought it was ridiculous until they each needed to run errands with the little guy... completely understood after that!

I know one mom who does this, but she has 3 kids and one of them has special needs (extra appointments, speech therapy, etc.).

I don't think it is unreasonable to have help and get out of the house though, especially if you have a baby with higher needs and you really need a break. I was blessed with babies that traveled with me pretty easy, so we were able to walk etc., but if your infant is crying, it's no fun for anyone.

Hiring someone 2-3 times a week seems like a lot though, maybe once a week would suit your husband better?

J.

I haven't read all of the responses, but I work out of the home and my husband is a stay at home dad -with 2 kids - 20months and 6 months. We have somebody that comes into our home 3 days a week to help him for 12 to 15 hours a week. Most of the time he is still there --getting some things done around the house, working out in the garage, taking a needed nap...and at times he will run to the store. Maybe suggest for the first two weeks you will not leave the person you bring in alone with your baby...and you will be home. Then the two of you can re-evaluate after that if a short errand or walk would work. If you need to get help...do it. It will be better for your baby, your husband and you!

Hello! I get Mamapedia so that I can reach out and help Moms like you. I wholeheartedly believe that a happier Mom makes a happier child and a happier husband. So, yes, a babysitter or a nanny is a great idea from time to time. Another option might be sleep. Oftentimes, babies don't like strollers,car seats and being out and about - because they are overtired. When adults are overtired, we are less able to cope with new things and become easily frustrated. It is the same for children - even infants. Time and time again I work with families, and once the child is able to get some more sleep, they are content to play independently, go for long walks in the stroller and long rides in the car seat.
Could this be a possibility?
If so and if you would like some professional assistance, I would love to help you and your family.
Sleep Well,
P.
www.sleepsense.net/kelowna
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My first daughter was like yours and I was going crazy by 4 months! It would have been thrilled to have someone come in for a few hours once or twice a week to give me a break-- I was just too tired to figure it out! Now that we have a second one who is easy going and the older one is a happy independent kindergartner, we have a babysitter who we love who comes once or twice a week so my husband and I can get a break. Like a previous poster mentioned, I am also a teacher now and drop my kids off at summer school two days a week in the summer-- and it's GREAT.

Has your husband ever stayed home all day with your daughter alone? Once mine did it one time, he understood how hard it was to hold a baby and entertain her for 9 or 10 hours all by yourself. He was very supportive of me getting a break--- no one should have to work all day, every day... getting a break will make you a happier mom-- and that's really what it's all about (my mom stayed home w us and is always going on and on about how great a mom she was b/c she was a SAHM. but all i can think when she says this-- but you were MISERABLE. kids are very perceptive-- when the family is happy, they are happy too.

that said-- it does get easier by the time they turn 4 or 5 months and they seem to be better able to go with the flow. my two little ones have literally traveled around the world to visit family and they had no problems at all with it :) hang in there--- and see if you can get a break during the week. even a teenager to come hold and play with the baby while you nap or shower or read the newspaper can feel like a GREAT break.

Well, as a work away from home mom, I can actually see it from both perspectives. Everyone needs a break, and it's harder to run errands with your child in tow. That being said, I see having a babysitter or nanny for relief to run errands or have time to yourself is a luxury. I don't have enough time to really run errands or anything on my lunch break, my husband travels and cannot help me most of the time, and there are other things I'd rather spend the money on (like gymnastics lessons for my now 2.5 year old or her college savings account), so I opt out of getting help, but I think it really depends on the individual family's dynamics and financials as to whether or not it's unreasonable. If you guys are struggling financially and you'd have to sacrifice other things as a family, then I would see it as unreasonable, but if your hubby's making good money and minimal sacrifices would have to be made, then I would think it reasonable.

What you are describing sounds more like a babysitter than a f/t nanny. Most of the SAHMs I know put their children in "mother's day out" 2-3 days a week.

I'm sure you work hard, it isn't unreasonable to have some time "off".

I put mine in MDO when they were 2, but I would have appreciate a mother's helper before that.

I think getting someone in once a week would not be at all unreasonable, but your daughter will get used to going out soon, that way you can go to the park and things an get out more

My husband and I take our kids everywere (except to work). My hubby works night and I work days so we only need a sitter for a little while so my hubby can get a little sleep durring the day. My mom always tells me to try to enjoy every moment now, because now her and my dad sit in an empty house wishing they still had kids running around :)

I don't think it's an unreasonable request. I have a three month old daughter too and it's hard work! Anyway, my daughter gets temperamental in the car seat, stroller, etc. too. I bought a little toy bar that attaches to anything (stroller, car seat, boucy seat) I think it's made by Tiny Love, I got it on Amazon and it's made car trips and walks much more tolerable! :-)

I haven't read all the responses, so somebody else may have made this suggestion...Find your local MOMS Club www.momsclub.org. At first you may not participate with the baby, but go to the Moms' Night Out and get to know some moms in your area. There is likely to be a mom like you without family around who would like to trade "babysitting" time. Regardless, you need some backup in case you ever need to go to the doctor. BTW, both of my kids hated the car seat and they both grew out of it around 5 or 6 months. It does get easier. I go to school and use a sitter on Wednesdays for 4 hours. It allows me to have some concentrated studying time without interruption or to make doctor appointments. Remind your husband that you'll eventually want to have some date nights, so you really need to start looking for a babysitter now. I stayed home with our sitter for the first couple of months, so I could feel more comfortable with her alone with my son. In a few more months, Daddy will be begging for a date night!

Good luck!

Your baby is young and may be growing out of this soon. My son was like that as a newborn, but started getting better right around 3-4mos. If she is a good napper, try to be at home so that she can nap in her crib unless she can stay awake while getting in and out of the car, transferring from the car to the house, etc.

If it doesn't get better, it's not unreasonable to get a sitter so that you can get out and run errands. If you and your husband disagree, then try starting with 1 day/wk for 3-4hrs. As someone else suggested, you might wait until your husband gets home to run errands, then he gets some one-on-one time with the baby and will also appreciate how hard it is to get things done at home sometimes as a SAHM :) You might also start dividing up some of the errands with your husband. If I have a short, simple grocery list, I'll ask my husband to stop at the store on his way home. The down side is that it's that much longer until he gets home. If he has down time at work, he'll run over to Target.

It's not unreasonable at all. Moms have done this for a long time, just not always with paid help. My mom was in a parent babysitting co-op and the SAHMs would swap babysitting time so they could all get out. Other SAHMs I know have husbands with flexible schedules who can watch the kids while they get out during the week. A friend in Argentina has a full-time nanny (even though she's a SAHM). It's not out of line to expect a smidgeon of time to get practical things done. That's part of the reason the drop-in childcare centers exist today.

Do what you need to do to be a happy mom. You'll be a much better parent for it.

No it's NOT unreasonable and anyone who disagrees with you, well it's their problem not yours. Just like any job ( and this happens to be one of the absolute hardest) everyone needs a break. Personally, I think I'm a better mom when I've had some time to myself during the week. It makes me appreciate my girls and my husband. It's like my mood is reset and I am am more grateful for what I have and ready to tackle what comes my way. Plus I'm sure children appreciate a happier Mommy I'm sure. If your husband isn't on board then ask him to watch the baby all day, or visit a relative for a night and then see what he thinks. My husband was always open to me having a sitter come and relieve me for a few hours a week ( maybe because I have twin 8 month olds so it's hard to even grocery shop) but I felt like he REALLY got how physically and emotionally demanding taking care of them all day everyday was when I spent a night away in the city visiting friends. ( It was the hardest thing I've done in a long time too) I felt like he finally really understood and was never so happy to have me home in his life. Goodluck, you deserve some me time.

My goodness this is a philosophical question. It does hark so many complications that our society has come to. It would be far less of a problem if this were an auntie or sister. S. I have been all around this question, had help and not had help. I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. So many things come to my mind yet my answer is : I don't know! I want to give you a great big mom hug and tell you that my first career choice has always been to be a SAHM and I felt sooooo bad when I wasn't able to bake bread, sew a quilt, shave my legs, get all the errands done, and have a beautiful home-made dinner ready at 6 pm each day. Ever since my son came home I feel like I have been trying to understand how to be a super mom. Then when my daughter came.. wow.. toast.

I want to help you look at the future and then maybe you can make some elemental changes right now. One thing I did naively is over promise myself to my husband when I had no idea before I had kids. I had to make a lot of choices about how to simplify my life. I had to look in the mirror and tell myself that I was an amazing mother and I could do this. I had to shed so many of the usual ways of living before kids. I read two books: "The Happy Housekeeper" and "To hell with all that." It spoke to me about how things actually get done. What is amazing is one part in "to hell with all that" speaks of a nanny that comes to rescue the mother of twins each weekday. The author is perplexed that she can make dinner, clean house, and care for two boys lovingly while she goes out for a jog! I have soooo been there with my last nanny. She was amazing, just like Mary Poppins. She was a certified Waldorf teacher that came in, cleaned my house, made meals, turned off the tv, threw away most of my son's toys and books, got my son into a home pre-school routine, and did it with my daughter on her hip. She cared for me deeply and I was so blessed by her. She looked at me in that way, with two hands on my shoulders and told me that I have everything it takes to be a great mother. In almost the way I gave birth to them using that old brain, I tapped into it to renew my power.

I also know my home schooling sister; still can not even understand how it works. But she told me that everything she was doing before was far to complicated to add meaning to her life. This is also shared by many mothers that RV around the country. Something I was deeply considering doing because I am now trying to live closer to my family and want a more ****walkable life.**** Ding Ding Ding!

It is a real solution. You could also RV and have only about 150 sq ft of chores :). But really, for most of us, I think finding a more walkable place is a fantastic idea! I asked myself 100 questions about this super mom thing and finally got down to this list of things **I would** want, to be without pre-school and or a nanny or a maid:

A much more walkable life: playground, library, pond/park, perhaps something else like a post office or grocer, but first 3 a must! A short car ride to areas that offer the best of organic food, farms, museums, anything that offers "hand's on lessons." If that harp lesson is going to be 30 minutes in high traffic to get too, yep, I am praying for a teacher to come over. But all the sports, close by, less than 2 miles. If it is too cold to walk, I am only a skip away by car. I think this is the best use of extra dough personally. Rather than get a nanny I would pay more to live in a walkable area.

Have far less house and much more yard, put a garden and a playground or swing in it. Husband gets to caretake for the yard or hire helpers :). The RVing moms during my research gave me so much inner growth. It really adds up what little things we do that, like my home schooling sister figured out, you can live without. One thing I did to join them is shed and shed and shed stuff. Good call, declutter way early in ever way possible. Go simple it really makes the biggest difference in feeling overwhelmed.

Buy less toys, clothes, books, and videos and less stuff overall. Enjoy the halt of shopping life, go etsy. My son had so many toys! He had so many things to do while I was doing chores beside me. I flat out ran to the nearest pre-school when my daughter was 2 months old and had colic; cried when ever she was awake and puked up a storm if I got her out of her "shell" of a dark calm quiet place with me singing to her. The Montessori school took my son and he was happy because having a little sister was not the fairytale he hoped for. He was so bummed when we tried to go have fun and she wailed the entire time and forget wailing, she non stopped puked. The Montessori types are not really in a "type" because they just teach there kids to take care of themselves and to live the home body life and learn pre-school skills while doing most of it. Highly recommend it, very powerful and intelligent, just so wowed by all the things they taught me to do! I EC'ed my son and he stopped pooping his diaper by 6 months so I am a little surprised I waited till he was two to begin teaching him how to get dressed and many household things he could have helped with. I had to reformat the layout of my house so that he at 2 could suddenly do almost everything for himself. He does a ton and wants to be my helper. This stuff is creating a far better him than the boy who played with all his toys and then refused to put them away. We also never watch tv like I use to! I am doing laundry, Athena is at our feet or on my back and he is throwing the clothes in and measuring the soap. He wants to learn so many things... I am cooking dinner, he is setting the table, sometimes even chopping veggies, many times make the food with me. Unplug the TV. Use it for sick days. Be careful with it, it can become a monster. Kids need to be active to get hungry and besides, I like the boy he is off of tv than the one who was on it. That thing really sticks in his mind. And Pre-school? He missed me so much! After some training by the nanny I got into a groove. So many days he wanted to be with me, doing home stuff, reading books whenever, drawing letter whenever the mood hit. I liked it at first, but when Athena grew out of colic, I felt great about him spending more time with me and his sister. He also picked up some hurt feelings from a bully there, ugh.. I really want him to build his confidence with me first. Independence? lol! That boy wants to run his own day! We are working on sitting still and listening and I take him to the library for story time for that :).

Get a babysitter for date nights. Swap with someone - totally agree! You get a playdate with a child at the same time- wow that was easy! Go find a tribe, then find at least two people in that tribe that you can gel with and become at least nice friends and then partner up.

Routines. IT is important. Routines don't happen when you feel like getting some errands done or seeing a friend for lunch. All those things the experts say about doing with your kids, yep, the routine thing is the best one that grounds both my kids. I say routines with a clench smile because I am a newbie and it is like running my own company type of dedication to get this "routine" aircraft off and running! Soon your baby is going to be waking up at the very same time in the morning and that is a great time to go through your morning routine with her, home routine or "home hour" food breaks, and then "outing" routine. I think a running start at the park life, pond, or just taking a walk to see a tree is better than putting "shopping and errands" up in those hours, soon you will have a 1 1/2 year old that would thrive with a pre-school type outing and you will be changing your life again to fit that in. I say take more baths while you have one child and she is still napping ;) or use that time to declutter stuff. Routines are also tons of fun on the weekends when you do the same thing with a dad around to help or do. They may be home during the outing time playing peek a boo and you get to go get the groceries (also good outing with papa to teach about life, my son pays the bill each time and I try to use cash.) Try to simplify your house and don't do all the house work with out the child on Sat, I did that, it sucked... and no routine on a Sat but your house work is not cool for them.

Don't do his errands so that he can have more time to spend with the baby. I promised this and I took it back. Each of us needs to find ways to be a better parent and when I did all of his errands, that meant he had no understanding. When he picked up his little goodies and the dry cleaning, he was without a child. He may need some alone time, but just keep on the routine and never let him cop out of your breaks, lesson plans, baking, cleaning, parenting, etc. He is going to need to understand that there is something to do for their growth at certain times and that he needs to move his body with kids, doing housework so that they will follow the plan while you get your hair done - not mom will do it when you get home. You can not move your body all the live long day, you need to hold the baby sometimes while he makes the dinner - that alone is a mental break. No cheating, he can not always buy it. That kind of thing is really important to routine, even if he has his own daddy way of doing it.

oh goodness this was long, but I just gotta say one more thing. Throw a pretty vintage sheet or many over your house. On the kitchen floor and get down there and chop veggies - use a small knife - my baby stays out of the way - it works. Put a sheet over the table, under high chair, over the couch (!!) and anywhere there is a food mess. I even have toys that go into a hamper that are folded into a sheet for the baby and I just lay out the thing and bundle it up for clean up. Sheets are amazing and they come in handy when you start night potty training too! But mine are vintage pretty and I use them for every mess, then either shake it out the back door or put it in the washer, it is beautiful. I hope I helped you!

You said your husband gives you time on the weekends... what about evenings. Perhaps you could take some time when he gets home, hand over the baby, have a long bath, go for a walk, do errands etc. I get what he is saying, and you don't mention finances being the issue. Perhaps 2 evenings a week, you could have a couple of hours to yourself. Your husband obviously doesn't get how hard it is to be with a baby all day, especially one that doesn't enjoy getting out, I feel for you on that. It will get easier as the baby gets older, but like some other mommas said, "if momma isn't happy, no one is happy". I think th eonly way for him to see how hard it is, is simply to pass the baby and go do your thing as soon as he gets home. You don't get a break, so why should he...

I'm a working mom with three kids and I didn't have a nanny! But I did have family that helped. So, I can sympathize. Do you have any friends that could help out?
I think 2-3 times a week seems a bit much. Maybe once a week so you could take care of things like haircuts, doctors, dentists, etc and in between those visits maybe a massage, lunch, shopping, etc.
Maybe it would be nice to team up with another mom and you could take turns giving each other a break.
Good luck.

There are alot of nanny agencies that have a sitter service. You could schedule a regular sitter to come to your home every week so you can get out and run errands.

My other suggestion (as a nanny) would be to use that time to run errands outside of the house during that time. Its really hard to work in a home where parents are home during the time I'm there. It creates confusion for the kids, and it makes it hard to decifer who is in charge, you or me. I have a mom that I used to do alot of nanny work for, that would spend the time running to the grocery store, dry cleaners, appointments, and lunch with friends maybe. She would come home, throw a load of laundry in and then relieve me. I would come 1 day/week.

There are plenty of women with means that do not work and have full time nannies. But some of those women don't really want to do the "mom" thing and that's why the kids who were raised like that, are more emotional about their nannies than their own parents. You however are not asking for a FT nanny, you're looking for someone to come in a few hours here and there, so you can do outside errands and yea, grab an hour or two by yourself. I'm assuming it's hubs that doesn't think it is necassary. I get it. So try to come up with low cost solutions. Since you have no family to rely on, perhaps as some women have suggested do a baby sitting co-op, or just switch off with a friend, or look in to a baby sitter as a nanny would cost more. Call your local sitting company and ask for rates etc. Come to your husband with solutions/answers before he can disagree with you. It's tough. The plus side is your 3 month old will grow out of this phase of not wanting car seat and stroller. At 3 months yea she will cry but if you keep moving forward and get her out she will get used to it. When my kid was that young that's all he wanted was driving and stroller, all that movement made him sleep. But remember one thing don't ever feel like you don't deserve a break and don't worry about other people judging you as a SAHM with help. Everyone has to remember that each situation is different. Good luck.

I would have never made it without help!!
My mother-in-law lives very close and thankfully let me drop the kids off over there twice a week for the whole day!
I desperately needed a break from the kids, time to clean, exercise, run errands, etc. I could not do much at all when they were with me, and then I was able to spend quality time with them and not worry about the house & other things...
Hopefully your husband will understand or you can come up with a solution together - good luck!

Keep trying to do things like going for walks even though she doesn't enjoy the car seat or being worn right not. She will get used to it soon and the fresh air will do you both some good!!! My daughter was much like yours at that age, but she only wanted to be home and only wanted to be held by me, no one else. I know exactly how you feel it gets exhausting!!! Let alone thinking about all the housework, errands, etc that needed to get done. My husband had a hard time understanding what I did all day. It was hard to explain that basically I held a screaming baby all day long!

For you the thing that will help the most is to get out and get some exercise. Walking around the neighborhood is a great start to that. It will get you out of the house, spend time with your little, and make you feel better! I started back with teaching Stroller Strides classes, after my maternity leave, when my daughter was 6 weeks old. It took her a couple of times to get used to being in the stroller for the hour class, but I was surrounded by other moms, who were able to help me and not give me those dirty looks that people around a neighborhood would!!!

Well I think it is good to get used to taking your baby out and learning to juggle earns with kids. but I also agree that having a sitter is a big help. I have two kids ages 3 1/2 and 21 months and I have never had a steady babysitter until now. My husband just got deployed to Iraq so i felt like It might be time to get some help and relief from 24 hour parenting. I just have her come over every Thursday evening. That way I can go to the mall, get out with some girl friends for dinner or even just go grocery shopping. It's really nice to know that every Thursday I have a sitter that I can count on. I do think 3 times a week is kinda a lot for just some out time if you are a SAHM but that's just me. If you feel you need a break once or twice a week then go for it. It does help.