My husband and I are attending a wedding for my cousin this Saturday. It's a Catholic Mass and I know my kids won't sit for the whole hour, so I asked a college intern who works in our office if she want to keep them. She has kept them before, and my kids love her to death.
She has accepted the request to keep the kids for about 4 or 5 hours. I will have them napping when she gets there, so she will only have to "deal" with them for maybe three full hours.
She shared with me that she has to go get a oil change on her car, go grocery shopping, and other errands. She is a texter. That scares me to death. She says when the kids are with her, she is so very careful. She does not use her phone or listen to the radio.
Yet I hate the idea of my kiddos out with her in her car. Any of you have some thoughts on my fear? I just wish she would stay at the house, its not like she is doing me a free be, I did tell her I would pay her.
We did not use the young babysitter. She took with somewhat of a relief to it. I felt better about it all day with them with the grandparents. Thanks for all the confirmation of my gut feelings not to have them in town.
You're paying her to babysit, not to run her own errands. She stays home with them or you get another sitter.
If it were me and I knew I could trust her, I wouldn't care. But if you care, tell her she has all the rest of the day to do that stuff and you want the kids to stay at home. Like some of the others stated, compromise, pay her extra, take her to get the car done before. Whatever you need to do. If she won't agree, find someone else.
Why does she need to run her errands while she is babysitting? You are paying her to watch the kids, not run personal errands! It would be different if she watched the kids five days a week, all day long! Isn't this just a once in a blue moon job?? I do not understand why she would need to run her errands while she is working? Do you get to run personal errands while working?? If she will not agree to stay home, find another sitter!!
This goes against all your other responses, but when I used to babysit, I would take the kids everywhere. It was never an issue. I used to make sure the kids got an ice cream or a slurpee or something as a reward for running errands. If she seems TOO busy, find someone else... but being that person on the other side of things, it really doesn't seem like a big deal. You could always have her call you before and after arriving/departing from one of the errands (not while driving, of course). You should feel proud of your childrens behavior too, if she's comfortable enough to take them out in public! If you're still absolutely against it, again, find another sitter. Best wishes!
NO! If she is babysitting, then she is BABYSITTING not doing whatever it is that she needs to get done. You are paying her for her time. She needs to run her errands on her own time. Just tell her that you really want the kids to stay home, they will be happier and are often a handful while running errands. You understand if she has other things to do and you will find someone else unless she is able to stay at your house with the kids.
Either you trust her or you don't. You can't trust an adult babysitter conditionally. That's rude. You say she is a "texter" do you mean while driving? If so, then she is irresponsible to the extreme and you should not leave your kids with her even at home. If you just mean she texts sometimes then you are jumping to some pretty serious conclusions about her judgement if you are worried about her texting while driving.
She's not a child and you're treating her like one. I had an adult nanny for my kids and they sometimes did errands with her, she took them to the park, to the chidrens' museum, etc. I picked someone I found to be very responsible and trustworthy, someone who also has a small child, to take care of my kids.
I have read the other responses and I would just like to point out that she is not begging for a job as a babysitter, you need someone to watch your kids so you can go out and you chose her to ask. She isn't a "babysitter" by profession, you are imposing on a day of her life and she accepted. She still has that life to live.
There are professional nannies and babysitters that are looking for the work whom you could hire and place all your demands on, but if you're asking a friend to do it, then you have to be accommodating. She's doing you a favor.
If someone asked me to watch their kids then told me they didn't trust my judgement outside of the home, that would be the last time I agree to babysit.
I agree with previous posters. If you're not comfortable with it, just tell her so or find another sitter. It would be one thing if you weren't going to pay her. But if you are going to pay her, then you get to call the shots about whether or not your kids go in her car with her.
If you want her to watch your children, why not suggest that you will take her to the garage (before you leave for the wedding) to get her oil changed and the car will be done and ready when she's done. This way after you get home, you can run her back to the garage and one thing will be off her to do list and she can then go from there. She won't have a car to run errands this way and one errand is done
If she doesn't like this solution, I would tell her that you will find someone else. Politely decline her help because she isn't following your rules. You are the parent. You need to make sure you are comfortable with who you leave your kids with and what will occur while they are in that person's care. Set down those guidelines and find someone who will go along with them.
As someone who used to babysit while in college (as a side job for extra spending money) and was asked to take the kids places (ie dance class or pick up afterschool), I do want to say that this is really your trust issue and you have to decide whether or not you trust her judgment.
Realize that she could have showed up at your house and taken the kids on her errands without telling you. But she chose to tell you and I think that's a good sign. Although I understand your concern about texting and driving unless you have seen or experienced her texting and driving, I think you are making an unfair assumption.
You don't mention how many children you have so if it is three or more or if they are overactive then perhaps that is your real concern and you need to express that to her.
Not even a question. Find another sitter!
Look at this from her perspective, Saturdays/Sundays are generally errand days for most people that are 9a-5p workers. The intern is probably trying to just figure out what would work in the best interest of everyone.
My rule of thumb is: When the car is in motion, no talking/texting on the phone, radio can be on, but her focus has to be on the road!
I would allow her to run errands (Get oil change, go to the bank,etc, things that don't involve getting the kids out of the car). Otherwise, grocery shopping can wait till after. Set a time limit of only 1 hour to do these things...and they MUST be close by.
I understand being protective over your kids, BUT this is a trust issue. A parent that won't even trust her OWN parents or In-Laws take kids places...thats a little ridiculous. What happens if there is an emergency and she has to get the kids out of the house or to the ER.
I have been babysitting for over 16 years now, and a nanny for the last almost 10. I have taken kids in the car with me to run errands since the age of 16. Parents of these kids know the kids are in good hands. I make sure I get adequate amount of sleep, my phone is on vibrate mode during my driving with kids in the car, and the child safety locks are on all doors kids are near. I have the parents install the carseats in my car, although, I am pretty efficient in this area.
Honestly, if you want a person to come just sit at your house, entertain your kids for that chunk of time, your better off hiring a 14-15-16 yr old.
Good luck.
There is not reason for a paid sitter to run personal errands with your children. Your kids should be her whole focus, that is what she is getting paid for! I would simply let her know that she can not take the kids in the car, and if she really needed to run those errands right than you would make other arraignments for the children.
I wouldn't allow it.
LL,
You are paying the sitter. What you say is what goes. If you feel they shouldn't be in a car with someone else, then don't hire her. Find someone else. If you can't because of short notice, you may want to try a drop in daycare type place. Here in Dallas we have Adventure Kids which lets you take kids for a few hours. I'm sure they probably are in your area as well. Listen to your gut. You're the mom and you have nothing to feel bad about.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.
I agree- don't let her take them. I have only let one person drive my kids once... not even my mother in law.... I would just explain that although you know she'll be careful, your policy is that you don't let the sitters take the kids out of the house. If she really needs to get her errands done, you understand that, and you will find another sitter. Enjoy the wedding.
Absolutely not! She is obviously too busy and if she can't stay at your place with the kids I think you should find someone else to watch the kids.
How many accidents has she had?
Have you ridden with her and she texts while driving? It sounds like you could be assuming some things about her driving behaviors.
When I babysit I always just treat the kids as if they were mine and they go where I go. If she needs to go places I say let her, if she is familiar with the kids then they will have a good time.
If she's too busy to baby sit - find someone else. You are not paying her to run her errands while she's watching your kids. You're paying her to watch the kids in a safe environment (home) and not be gallivanting around to who knows where besides where ever her errands are.
That's crazy! Those are all things she can do another time. Plus, your kids aren't going to have fun running errands! Not to mention the safety issue. Its not like you are asking her to watch them ALL day- or on a regular basis. Its one time for a few hours. And you never know, what if while at the grocery store, one of your children run off and something happens. I think it is just a better idea for them to stay home. If that's not ok with her, then you need to find some one else to watch them.
Find someone who will just stay at the house.
best, k
I feel just as you do on this one. My kids are 7 and 5 and have NEVER been driven in a car by anyone except Mommy and Daddy. Naturally, field trips on the school bus are an exception. Yes, we are overprotective. No, we don't care what other people think about it. You don't say how old your kids are but if they are still napping I assume they are rather young. I totally understand your reluctance to have them off in the car with the sitter.
When I am paying a sitter I expect that she is exchanging her time for my money. That means she should be sitting and nothing more. If you want them to stay in the house then that should be that. If she can't do these errands at any other time during the weekend then she should not have accepted the job and told you she was too busy.
I think there are exceptions to this for people who have a full time nanny. In that case, errands must be run during the day and I'm sure the parents expected that to be the case.
Tell her you are uncomfortable with the kids being taken out of the house and if she can't accept those terms, find another sitter. You are the mom, what you say goes! Good luck!
Also, wondering ... What about car seats????
Hi - NO WAY would i allow this. If you are paying her and she is not a very close friend or family member I would never allow someone to drive my child around AND also make sure they are being watched carefully in stores! I would tell her you are not comfortable with this at all! Once again, remind her that you will pay her x amount. If she says no then I would find someone else. Even a young teen in the neighborhood who has some babysitting experience and wants to do a really good job would be better!
Good luck!
She can either do her oil change and shopping earlier in the morning, after the wedding, or on Sunday. Or, push her plans over for the next weekend. The car won't die if it waits an extra week for an oil change. She shouldn't have accepted to babysit your kids if she had such "urgent" things to do and she knows you don't want the kids to leave the house. The supermarkets are open till late so that's no excuse, she can wait to do her shopping until it is convenient for both of you.
I am torn on this issue. The first 7 years I provided childcare I did not have a car. My husband took our only vehicle to and from work. After being stuck at home for so many years, I couldn't stand it anymore. For the last 17 years I've lived my life with my daycare kids. We go all kinds of places together. I am careful, have a good driving record and have never had an accident that I caused. I was rear ended while sitting at a stop light and while taking one child to school. The other kids were home with my mother. We were not hurt.
Obviously, anything can happen and it could happen with you and your husband. I guess you just have to decide if you trust this girl. I HATE when my 20 year old drives around with her own son in her car. I know how old she is and what the risks are. But all I can do is pray because she's a grown up and he's her son.
How about this for a compromise... Tell her that for the inconvenience of having to do her errands another time and wait her oil change another week, you'll give her an extra 20 bucks over and above what you would have paid her. This way she has incentive to stay put and just care for your children and you don't have to worry.
I say absolutely NOT! Especially if she is a texter. If she has so many errands to run, she shouldnt have committed to watching your kids. If you are anything like me, you are going to be a wreck at the wedding & not enjoy yourself. The odds are that nothing will happen & your kids will be fine. But me personally, I would NOT risk it!
I would definitely not allow the kids in the car with her. I don't let anybody drive my two boys unnecessarily. It's not that you think bad of her, it's just not necessary. Hopefully she'll understand that you're paying her, so errands can be done on her time.
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I would definitely not allow the kids in the car with her. I don't let anybody drive my two boys unnecessarily. It's not that you think bad of her, it's just not necessary. Hopefully she'll understand that you're paying her, so errands can be done on her time.
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I would definitely not allow the kids in the car with her. I don't let anybody drive my two boys unnecessarily. It's not that you think bad of her, it's just not necessary. Hopefully she'll understand that you're paying her, so errands can be done on her time.
She should be doing her errands on her own time. You're paying her. If she is babysitting your kids her focus should be on them.
Absolutely not! You are paying her to watch your kids, not to take care of all her personal errands. Either she can do it and actually baysits them at home or she chooses not to so that she can take care of her errands.
I personally think you should just give her the benifit of the doubt,should anything happen,Im assuming your children can talk,ask afew simple questions,FROM THEM,and Im sure you will get the truth,if she ulls anything this one time,then you wont need to use her for asitter again.Easy as P.. I know its not a freebie favour,but its still a favour,and she probably has things that she needs toget done herself,you need to think bout her needs too,she is willing to bring yourrrrr 3 children with her when she doesnt even have children herself,you should feel lucky to have her!! not worried about her
You might as well take them to the wedding.
Absolutely not! She can run the errands before or after she is babysitting or not do it at all. Her focus will not be on the kids while she is taking care of her own business. My kids only go in the car w/ a babysitter if they are going to the movies or the park - the focus is on the kids, not personal business.
Just tell her you prefer her to stay at the house while she is watching the kids.
My husband and I are the only ones who drive with our children. I won't even allow other family members drive my children. My children are very young, by the way. In any case, I simply do not trust that anyone will be as careful as me and my husband are so I won't let others drive them. You obviously have a bad feeling about it. Follow your instincts. They are always right.
It doesnt sound like you are comfortable so you should tell her no. I've always felt bad saying no to my babysitters but ultimatley, we are paying them therefore have the right to make the decisions on what they do with our kids. I trust my babysitter very much, but driving them is not something I will never feel good about.
You're paying her, they're your kids. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with it and I would just tell her so.
So then I would just stress to her the concern you would have with the children being out of the home. She even fudge the truth a little and tell her that one of your children gets car sick at times - no college intern could be paid enough to have a child who may or may not get sick in their car with them! It's hard sometimes b/c some people aren't very flexible, but I'm sure she could squeeze in the oil change and grocery shopping either before or after. Good luck!
If she is only going to have them for 4-5 hours then that leaves her a LOT of the day to get her errands done either before or after. Just tell her you want them to stay at the house. You are the parent and paying her. If she has a problem with it then she dont have to watch them. There is no reason she HAS to do her errands during the time she is watching them. You can never be to safe.
Holy-Smolies!!! Find another sitter!!! Kidz are your main concern and should be for anyone 'watching' them! Is she the one stating she has to 'deal' with them?If so, I would NEVER use her again, you 'deal' with situations that aggravate you! Someone who has never had the experience of driving, shopping, waiting in the 'waiting area' of an oil change place with children is not the person you want taking care of your children, heck, it's hard enough for a parent to do all of these things in one morning/afternoon with kidz in tow!
You can tell her, you want her to stay at your house. Work is sometimes inconvenient. I cant do my errands while working. If she gives you a problem, she is not right for you.
if she has things to do look for another sitter. that is way to scary and so unsafe. you have no idea how careful she is while driving etc etc, if shes a texter believe me shes not gonna stop texting, and if she's so use to being by herself she might get a lil distracted grocery shopping and then what? I wouldn't, i would say.. thanks but that's okay. kids are hard work thats why ppl hire a nanny or a sitter just to watch the kids and do nothing else. Don't do it. then God forbid an accident right? no way, don't give yourself a headache and you probably won't be at ease at the church or the wedding anyway, just thinking about it. too many things. Good luck
That would be a big NO as the whole point of having a babysitter is so they will keep 100% eye on your kids with little or no distractions.
Basically you are her emplyer so say no and don't feel bad about it. these are YOUR kids.
I would explain to her that you prefer the children to be watched in your home and if she has errands to do then she can decline the job and you will make other arrangements. Your kids, your rules.
