Any Recommendations on a Good Parent's Discipline Book?

I completely echo the Love and Logic and 123 magic. Also try the 5 love languages of children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.
I pulled a little from each one-no one has all the answers for every child so do what works and discard what doesn't.

What amazed me was how much each of these books disciplined me and the child discipline fell in line after that.

Good luck

"Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes" by Cynthia Whitham. This is common sense in book form and the only approach that really was effective for me when my child was younger. I took a parenting class from her at UCLA and the difference it made was huge. My son is now 15 and I still use the techniques she suggests.

Hey there,
My doc and my teaching colleagues suggested the following two, wonderfully helpful, books: Without Spanking or Spoiling by Elizabeth Crary and How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, by Elaine Mazlich (spelling?) and someone else whose name I'm blanking on. If you are super busy, as I am, I bought the second one as a book on tape and copied it for many of my kindergarten parents last year.
Hope that helps and best of luck! =0)
L.

I absolutely love and swear by the book by John Gottman, PhD:
"Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child."

I have employed his empathetic techniques and I am amazed at how quickly it diffuses a situation. Granted there are times when I don't follow it, and of course, it too is a reminder of what NOT to do since the issues are only exacerbated typically.

I love the fact that he has used empirical studies of families over decades to develop his methodology, and in fact, has been able to demonstrate that developing emotional intelligence leads to better communication with your child as a teenager, resulting in fewer teen year problems: pregnancy/sex, drugs, crime, suicide, etc.

Using his method doesn't mean that my daughter doesn't disobey me, throw tantrums, fail to listen, etc., but it does give me tools on how to handle it, and more importantly how to use these trying times to connect to her in a meaningful way.

It is not a very thick book and can be read in a day or so easily.

"Children: the challenge" by Rudolph Dreikurs
I read this book 5 times and i still refer back to it. i have 4 kids and it's my favorite book. it's tried and true tactics that help. i keep reading it over again because the same tips you use as your children grow. Short chapters and quick read. love it!

I also heard "5 love languages of kids"(?) by Dr. Gary Chapman was supposed to be good. haven't read it but you can learn to understand what ways your children need to be loved causing problems to fade even before they start. I believe if we remember to love and serve our kids FIRST and they feel that, that is what is reciprocated and all else works out.

I am by nowhere near perfect but i am trying and when i blow up, this thought is what i always come back.

good luck.
A.

1-2-3 Magic is the best. Here's the link to their website:

http://www.parentmagic.com/

The best book I have read is: It's Not Fair, Jeremy Spencer's Parents Let Him Stay up All Night!: A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting
by Anthony E. Wolf

When my son was 3 it seemed like we were fighting all the time. Then I read this book and it changed everything. This book talks about dealing with the "baby self" and why spanking, yelling and punishments don't work.

Hi Maty Anne, Try reading "Parenting Isn't For Cowards"
By Dr. James C. Dobson, it has some really good stuff in it, however what ever discipline you choose should be between you and your husband, and then the Nanny needs to be on the same page with you and your husband, I've been a mom for almost 25 years, and although incentives are good, you don't want your kids obeying so they can get something, you want them to obey out of love and respect for you and your husband, I used incentives for potty trainig, out side of that we expected our children to obey not becasue they would get something, and sometimes they would, but out of love and respect, Children need to learn, because, school, bosses, authority figuers, the are not going to offere all of these incentives, so to learn to obey becasue it is right, starts at home and sets you kids up for sucess. I read the book Mentioned, and it's good. I'm going to give you a list of other books as well.
1. Love Must Be Tough
2. Dare to Discipline ( I've Read this one too)
3, The Strong-willed Child
4. Preparing for Adolescence
These are books from Dr, James C, Dobson

Hope this helps J. L.

I found the following two books helpful with my 3 1/2 yr old girl:

Parking Lot Rules (more lifelong approach to raising good kids and enjoyable to read....fast read)
http://www.amazon.com/Parking-Rules-Raising-Amazing-Child...

AND
Just Tell me What to Say (geared toward 2-6 yr olds...a longer read, but helpful)
http://www.amazon.com/Just-Tell-What-Say-Perplexed/dp/006...

I like anything written by Dr. James Dobson or John Rosemond. (John Rosemond also has a newspaper column.)

"Raising Respectful Kids in a Rude World". It teaches that respect is mutual. And we are no longer in a society where, "do as I say, not as I do" will work. Times have changed. And because we live in a democratic nation where equality is taught every where, raising our children "aristocratically" isn't the effective way anymore.

However, this book doesn't teach that your children are EQUAL to you. NOT at all. In fact it gives so many practical scenarios that teaches you how to be a firm parent with expectations, but giving your child a means to make good choices on their OWN, without you harping on them...and definitely, without you being walked all over.

I'm sorry that I can't find the book right now, so I don't know who the author is/are.

p.s. please know that no matter how many books or techniques you try, it won't be effective until you and your husband work on establishing the main foundation first -- being on the same team.

I've found a great book it's called "How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so your kids will talk" It's worked great for us.

Good Luck,
C.
Mom of two year old and Eight year old boys

HI M.,

Yes, it's difficult when you've got different approaches going on. I would give you another vote for the "Parent Effectiveness Training" book.

I also really like "Positive Discipline" by Jane Ed.D. Nelsen. Nelsen has several books, some of which are geared for specific ages. I really like her approach -- it's effective, and easier than lots of other things!

good luck
C.

Uggh...I feel your pain. I like "The Discipline Book" by William Sears. Ideally, buy 3 and you all should read it at the same time, discuss the approaches so you are all in agreement and on the same page (pun uninteneded) Best wishes!

I think the best book out there is Parenting with Love and Logic, by Cline and Fay. It is easy to be consistent and takes all the drama out of parenting, so you can have more fun together. I use it with my kids and it seems to be the most effective :)
Good luck!

I like Gentle Discipline by Dr Sears. Friends have reccomended How to Talk so your children will Liste, How to Listen so your children will talk. I haven't actually checked it out. MotheringForums.com has a section devoted to Gentle Discipline, which is our approach Best H.

Hi M.,

I would recommend "Parenting with Love and Logic." I use the "Teaching with Love and Logic" in my classroom (high school) and it's amazing how successful it can be.

Also, check out child psychologist John Rosemond. He has many books out, a website and writes a newspaper column. My husband and I find his philosophy and subsequent ideas very effective as well.

Good luck!

I recommend :Talk to your kids so your kids will Listen and listen so your kis will Talk." I also recommend the workshops called Redirecting Children's Behavior or RCB
you've already diagnosed your issue. Inconsistancy . Best of luck.

Iam reading How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, also Parenting With Love and Logic, and 123 Magic - I can't recommend any of them yet because I haven't finished reading them and begun to impliment the ideas that I feel most comfortable with. But they are interesting books so far.

For your 4 year old you could try skimming through The Happiest Toddler on The Block (I think it goes up to age 5).

I second Susan C: "1-2-3 Magic" is really wonderful.

I took a class thru the school district call "Parenting with P.R.I.C.E." I liked it alot. It was very informative.

Hi, I am getting some good ideas here myself!

THere is a gal here in Long Beach who does parent coaching, so maybe a quick hour visit w your husband will get you both on the same page? She also does group workshops. My girlfriend and her husband just went to a private session and got some great guidance/ ideas for their very strong willed daughter, and it was especially important that her husband was there to hear the same info. (Know what I mean).

http://www.engagetoday.com/

My favorite is 'Parenting with Love and Logic'. It is an easy book to read and follow. The authors advocate a drama free approach. It is well worth it to invest in the book. Their approach works great at home and it works great in the classroom!!!

Good luck with it all!
D.

The two most useful books I know of are Unconditional Parenting by Alphie Kohn and How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk. Kohn's book gets your heart in the right place and the How to... book (Faber and Mazlish) is just that- full of practical, ready to go tips to use in real life, right away. If you only read one of the two, the How to Book also covers philosophy lightly. It even has pictures! My five year old is an early reader. He read some of the comics in the book. A few days ago he refered me to the page to show me the "effective" way to work with him "next time." My husband boaght into the book, too, and it's been so much better. Best of luck.

On Becoming Baby Wise - The Toddler Years is fabulous.

Hi M. :)

I think rather than reading, it would be easier, and take less time, to watch something on DVD or listen to an audio CD. I have a FANTASTIC recommendation for you if a non-book idea is agreeable to you. Go to www.TOTALTRANSFORMATION.com. I ordered everything, although I have not had a chance to sit down and watch anything yet, I did look nto it extensively and I really liked and appreciated what I heard. The doctor also offers another audio CD on consequences which seems to be wonderful as well. I just got that and have to check that out myself. Since I purchased, I now receive the Empowering Parents Newslatter, which is VERY helpful!!! There is a free trial period, too. :)

Just remember, there's punishment and there are consequences. They are not the same thing and punishment is not a consequence that MODIFIES a behavior in a positive way. Punishment doesn't get to the root of the behavior and it is a threatening technique only to create fear within our children so they DON'T do certain things. I believe we as parents want our children to grow healthy and to understand as much as they can while learning as much as possible from their experiences, good deeds, mistakes and poot choices. Mistakes, in my opinion, MUST be welcomed. We ALL make them, but I think when a child does, at times, TOO MUCH extra energy is placed into what was DONE rather than actually taking the time to work with them and make the mistakes a learning and evolvement process. Besides, punishment uses up too much of our own energy and feels crummy to everybody. Our perceptions as parents makes a world of difference to our own peace of mind and well- beings as well as to those of our children. I think if the atmosphere is more peaceful and loving (not suggesting that yours isn't) as well as workable, rather than something to fear, then the children will be more receptive to what we teach them and they can also feel great about themselves as they see themselves begin to grow and change into better, stronger, more tolerant people making better choices. :)

My many happy thoughts and best wishes to you and yours!
J.

Wow! I can imagine how hard it is to not be on the same page in discipline! My son's father and I don't live together never have...we don't agree on discipline or how kids 'should be'.

My feedback would be that books are great and helpful if you are both willing to read them (which my ex- will not do), but you might want to try to taking a class together and then sitting down and discussing what to take from it and what to leave out...the City of Santa Clarita has some great free classes that I have started taking recently (new one starts in a couple weeks for little kiddos) and am hoping to get my son's father to take, so we can work together.

Kids sense discord in their parents and it can materialize in many ways...Good Luck!

123 Magic, I know it was mentioned, but I use it with my 6 and 9 yr old and it works like gold, no more empty threats and stressed mommy.

this book is "Dare to Discipline" and it is great. I pray that it helps you guys.

Also "Raising Awesome Kids in Troubled Time"

My husband and I found a way of parenting that felt right for both of us through the Patty Wipfler books. You can read about the techniques on her website www.handinhandparenting.org. It's a beautiful, thoughtful way of parenting. And, she's coming to LA to give a talk one night and a day-long seminar another day.
Blessings,
J.

I don't know any good books but have worked with many different children and families over the years and the most important thing is be consistent. If you say something mean it and follow through. It is tough at first but well worth the effort. The only problem I have found with rewards for behaviors is children don't learn to behave because they have to or have been taught to. They expect something all the time and that's not how the world works. Teachers and parents of their friends coaches are not going to be giving treats. They may start to misbehave just to be able to turn it around for that treat and soon thay are in control not the parent. Hope you got good advise with all these responses and you find what works for you and your kids and remember what works for one may not work for the other so keep trying till you got it right. Best of luck

I love the parenting books by Anthony Wolf. They're common sense, very loving and encourage very low drama from both parent which helps the child respond in kind. I first heard about them from my StepD's psychologist and one of her teachers as well - such high praise from two experts I trusted was very valuable to me.

http://us.macmillan.com/author/anthonyewolf

Good luck!

If you are open to some coaching...change your thinking from "discipline" to "parenting". Perhaps you won't need any book and you can find the healhty natural way to parent inside of you.

B. H., B.A.:B.Ed.
Family Coach

My number one choice is

Parent Effectiveness Training, P.E.T., Book

By Dr. Thomas Gordon, softcover

Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) began in 1962 as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice for resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world. Revised and Updated 30th anniversary edition.

There's a new one out by Kevin Leman. I think it is called "How to make your kids behave by Friday" or something along those lines. I haven't read it yet but heard great things about it and so I just ordered it on Amazon. He's supposed to be humorous and it an easy read- yet lots of great methods and strategies. Can't wait to get my copy. The best advice I ever got was just to make sure the adult always comes out as the alpha dog- no matter how small the battle. Good luck!

James Dobson (Focus on the Family) has some great books on discipline and raising great kids too. FamilyLife has a great website that has different topics you can read if you are looking for some quick tips. Also, Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote Ten Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids. It's a quick read with good advice. Good luck!

Dr. Phil's "Family First" or anything by James Dobson or Wayne Dyer. I still read a lot and it has helped tremendously! Encourage your husband to attend parenting classes with you. Our school district offers them free a couple times a year, so you might want to check into that. Arm yourselves with info and techniques now because the teenage years don't get any easier!! (I'm a single Mom of 3 teenage boys) Good luck!

"Dare to Discipline" and "The Strong Willed Child" are both by Dr. James Dobson. They are both excellent books.

I found the book "God, the Rod and Your Child's Bod" to be fantastic. It talks about consistency, staying calm and corrective discipline.

Good luck!

"Positive Discipline" by Jane Nelsen
http://www.positivediscipline.com/index.html

(Nelsen has new and revised editions out, her books covering a wide range of age groups)

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"The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart" by Jan Hunt
http://www.naturalchild.org/

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Both these authors are firm believers of mutual respect and positive discipline.

1-2-3 Magic is a very good system that can be used with children older than 2. We started it with my son over the summer and have seen good and positive results from it.

PBS DVD "when chips are down: it is the best!!!!!!!!!!

Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson. This is available on Amazon.com & probably in a local bookstore. Jane Nelson has since written other Pos. Disc. books including one for preschoolers. I think the preschool one or the original would be a great start for you. And you are correct, it really is the best for all caretakers and the children for you caretakers to be consistent with each other. Jane's books are an awesome guide for parents and all caretakers. If you don't have time to read it all in one crack, it is easy to seek out specific issues you want some guidance in. Consistency is the key!! Stay positive, be careful of too many incentives and I wish you well.

Hi M.,

Have you heard of the book Love & Logic? Several friends of mine, including a teacher and a Principal, highly recommended this book to me. I have not finished yet but it is a good book.

-Char

One that I LOVE and can say works well (if followed) is John Rosemond's "Six-Point Plan For Raising Happy Healthy Children". Really simple guidelines and processes. I highly recommend.

Yes, the best one I have read so far is Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. It talks about not just addressing the behavior but getting to the heart of the matter. The book has revolutionized our approach to discipline and my boys (10 and 7) have responded well to this approach. Hope that helps you.

I highly recommend a few books:

1. "I Refuse to raise a Brat" by Marilu Henner

2. "The Strong Willed Child" by Dr. James Dobson

3. "Creative Correction" by Lisa Welchel

Parenting with Love & Logic.
Many schools offer free classes using that book too.

Dr. Sears' The Discipline Book: How to Have a Better-Behaved Child From Birth to Age Ten is a great book. I'm in the middle of it right now, and I agree with their approach to discipline.