Any Good Toddler Discipline Books?

I have to second "Positive Discipline the First Three Years" by Jane Nelsen. It is an amazing book, full of great advice and something you can refer back to over and over again. I highly recommend her books to anyone looking for a good discipline book.

Using her techniques has helped me raise a spirited, independent, calm and loving 5 yr old boy.

The "help me be good" books offered through Scholastic. They also come with a sticker chart to mark progress.

rent Best Toddler on the Block dvd..very helpful..i also like What to Expect the Toddler Years..my toddler is 32 months..and now it's so easy b/c he's talking and i can talk to him and explain "why" and make little deals with him..
Like when we go to the gym..he used to say.."i don't like it" and get upset..so i explained that i really don't like going to the park every day but i go for him..so could he please just go to the gym for a little while so i can have some fun" never complained again about it.

My recommendation is "Boundaries with Kids" by Dr. Cloud and Townsend. Here is an editorial review:

"Review
What the Award-Winning Boundaries Has Done for Adult Relationships Boundaries with Kids Will Do for You and Your Children Here at last is the help you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend take you through the ins and outs of establishing family boundaries and of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives. Learn how to
? set limits and still be a loving parent

? bring control to an out-of-control family life

? apply the ten laws of boundaries to parenting

? define legitimate boundaries for your family . . . and much more -- Publisher --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Description
Since the 1992 release of their Gold Medallion Award-winning book, Boundaries, Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend have heard these three questions rephrased thousands of times. As parents begin to realize the tremendous impact poor boundaries have had on their own lives, their concern naturally extends to their children. How can they help their sons and daughters form healthy boundaries that lead to well-rounded characters and successful adult lives? Now there are answers. Boundaries with Kids helps parents apply the Ten Laws of Boundaries (first described in Boundaries) to the challenges of raising children. In their popular, readable style, Cloud and Townsend help moms and dads make choices and develop a parenting approach that sees beyond the moment to the adults their children will become. For parents who want their kids to escape the struggles they themselves have experienced, here’s an in-depth look at how to implement the preventive medicine of character development by establishing sound boundaries starting with the parents. Boundaries with Kids helps moms and dads learn how to
bring control to an out-of-control family life
set limits and still be loving parents define what legitimate boundaries are in the family transfer what they are learning as parents to help their children develop healthy boundaries. Illustrating its points with numerous case studies and anecdotes, Boundaries with Kids gives parents the can-do guidance they need in order to model healthy boundaries for their kids. This book may well be the best investment parents will ever make into the lifelong welfare of their children."

Hi K.,
I'm currently reading "Positive Discipline the First Three Years" by Jane Nelsen. I'm not through it yet, but am really encouraged by her distinction between punishment and discipline and how we can teach boundaries without instilling shame and self-doubt in our children. Sounds like our sons have a bit in common - mine is NOT easily distracted either. Best of luck to us both!

I love The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears. My kids are 3.5 (boy) and 6yo (girl). I've never had to resort to spanking/hitting or yelling to get them to behave. It's hard work but they behave because they know it is the right thing to do rather than behave because they are afraid of what might happen if they don't. They have consequences, we have rules, they are disciplined. I say that because some people think gentle discipline means no discipline - not at all. I've found that it's more about teaching. We have to teach our kids out to behave, what's OK, what's not. They aren't born with this information.

Best wishes,
M.

A series of books changed my life.
It's the Baby Wise series by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam.
Buy them, read them, take their advice!!
For example: their advice on temper tantrums is that they are sucessful only when there is an audience, so...when your child throws a temper tantrum, don't given them an audience! When the tantrum starts--walk away. I tried it, and almost immediately the tantrums go away.
I highly recommend the book series. Their suggestions are practical and they work. Best of luck.

Hi K.,

You are a great mom and it sounds like you've got a great game plan already by wanting to really nurture his independence and so on! Raising little boys is so fun and challenging! I have 2 boys, a girl and another boy one on the way! My boys were 2 years apart and very spirited!! I loved the books "Raising Your Spirited Child" (its a little out dated now but it still has lots of great tips) And I love "Parenting with Love and Logic" By Foster Cline. Its very practical parenting strategies and encourages giving your child choices that are appropriate and letting them expierience the natural consequences. It helps you stay on their side and helps them through the choice they have picked. EX: not too long ago my son left his shoes out and the sprinkler got them wet. (I had reminded him to bring them in) I simply said, "Gosh thats a bummer I hate it when my shoes get wet"

I have eaten a ton of humble pie over the years. I used to say "My child will never do that!" HA HA on me! Pick your battles...don't get hung up on the silly stuff or what others might think. Handle the behaviors that really matter!

Its especially tough with a smart persistent little one, its easy to get backed into a corner with threats that you can't follow through with. Like "if you don't pick that toy up we are not going to Grandma's" Well are you really not gonna go if he doesn't do it? Only issue consequences you have time for and can really follow through with! I still have to stop and think about what I am giving for consequences to make sure it is going to be for them and not a consequence for me! Your doing a great job! He is blessed to have you as a mom! All the best!
Smiles,
S.

Here's the books that helped me ...

http://resources.family.org/product/d00003b.do

http://www.ezzotruth.com/ezzo-books.html (this series goes from birth - teen)

The Baby Wise one taught me how to get my son to sleep through the night by 10 weeks. They guarantee it. Mine took two extra weeks, but that's because he had a major surgery at 7 weeks old. My son slept through the night from then on, and took 3 hour naps until he was in first grade!!!! You'd be amazed at how different a child acts once they are well rested!

Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child's Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days (Hardcover)

Katrina, Your description of your son is the definition of a toddler. He is normal and sounds like a perfect two year old. Being consistent and keeping him safe is the best way to get through these next few years. The temper tantrums are part of the uncontrolled emotions of a child, helping him to learn this is not productive by ignoring the activity and yet keeping him safe. (They can throw themselves around and bump into stuff) There are many books out there, but try a used book store and get some ideas and then make them you and your husband ideas.
Common sense and alot of patience!! Don't expect your son to be a small adult, he needs gentle guidance, and he will bloom as all our kids(they are all spirited!!)have in to great people. Good luck and relax, D.

"The Discipline Book" by Dr. William Sears.
Also, loved "The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian.

I used to be a parent trainer, but have lost my reading lists. The main job of your 2 year old is to distinguish himself from his parents. Giving him choices, instead of open-ended questions helps a lot. Just remember, you make the choices, choose 2 or 3 that are all acceptable to you. It will help him feel in charge of his world. I used to say to my kids, that wasn't one of the choices and it usually worked. The method is called Effective Parenting. You should be able to search for books on the topic.

Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It is awesome. Good luck

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12 (Paperback)
by Thomas W. Phelan (Author). It involves clear expectations and follow through. It stopped (mostly) the yelling in our house and this tactic still works well with our children.

I highly recommend "You Can't Make Me (but I can be pursuaded)" by Cynthia Tobias. She is a genius when it comes to dealing with strong willed children.

Good luck!!

I just got Positive Discipline from A to Z at the library and it's wonderful for all ages. I've also read The Happiest Toddler on the Block. Both are great. I also got the Supernanny books from the library.

Hi K.,

The way that works best for me is to give them a choice...for instance, if you're trying to get him dressed let him choose between two shirts. When trying to get him to share, let him decide if he wants to let Billy play with the blue ball or the dump truck. Time to leave the park, he can have the choice to go on the slide or the swings. This lets him have his way and you get yours also.

Best of luck to you.

I like 1, 2, 3 magic it works great no screaming hitting etc.And that is what I use to do. Also another one is Love and Logic and strong will child.

S.

I've been reading about the Kazdin Method, called Parenting the Defiant Child. Even if you find the title off-putting, the book is very useful in techniques of positive reinforcement and discusses the research behind why children respond the way they do. The author, Alan Kazdin, runs a facility out of Yale University specializing in Child Behavior. I highly recommend it.

Dear K.,
I don't know if anyone else has suggested Dr. James Dobson's "Dare to Discipline" book. We found it helpful with my sons (3 of them). It is on basic disciple of children. My middle son was very stubborn and in his case the book by Dobson called "The Strong-Willed Child" was also very helpful. By four, my son was so demanding and defiant that I couldn't imagine what we would have as a teenager, but the books suggestions helped and he is now a wonderful young man and during his teen years was very considerate and did not give us problems.
I hope these books help give you the information you need.
H.

P.S. If you are not familiar with Dr. Dobson, he is a Christian and his advice sometimes reflects this perspective.

God the Rod and your Childs Bod. You can take the best out of it. Very good and common sense while keeping you calm

Im currently reading Parenting ins't for Cowards by Dr. James Dobson
http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Isnt-Cowards-James-Dobson...

I found it on amazon for you.....

I love it you will find a ton of answers and most of all CONFORT it explains reasons on child behavior. I strongly suggest you get this. Good Luck and have fun with your toodler.

You will also enjoy:

http://books.google.com/books?hl=en&lr=&id=29Qhmp...

K.

HI K.,

Yep, you're right in "the zone". I think you are right on track to find an approach that allows you to guide and help your child become an independent kid who makes good choices.

I highly reccomend "Positive Discipline the First Three Years" by Jane Nelsen. She gives you enough info to know what's driving your child's behavior and specific actions you can take to shape his behavior without squelching his personality. It has been a life-saver for me with my own 3 year-old free-spirited boy.

Enjoy!
C.

I just finished Setting Limits with your Strong willed Child and loved it. I wish I had read it a year ago, when my child was your childs age! Good luck. It was an easy read too.

http://www.amazon.com/Setting-Limits-Your-Strong-Willed-C...

I read Magic 1-2-3 and I really like it, it has work wonders with my sutbborn - I know-it-all 3 year old princess.
Good luck and just stick to a plan, be consistent!