Recommendations on Good Discipline/Behavior Books for Toddlers

I recomment Becky Bailey. I have read her books and attended training seminars on young children with her guidance. She is so insightful and amazing.

2 really good ones.

Preparation for toddler by Gary Ezzo

John Rosemond wrote another one, but I can't remember the name of the toddler book. I've really liked some of his ideas and they're very simple!

The all-time best discipline book is by Dr. James Dobson's "Dare to Discipline". Other good ones are the "Babywise" books by Dr. Ezzo and "Boundaries with Kids" by Townsend and Cloud. If you haven't really started a lot of discipline already, you may have some trouble, but stick with it... they are fast learners!! Good luck! =-)

OH -- Also read "Wild At Heart" by John Eldredge. He has some great insights into little boys!

C., why do you need books? I'm a grandmother and I think the world has convinced people that unless they have a book written by a "doctor" it is impossible to raise wonderful children on your own. Are you a kind, loving, friendly, law abiding, productive citizen of society? If the answer is yes to all the above then you have it in you to say "no-no" and "great job" when need be. You should have already been setting an example in front of the baby by how you act. If the baby has seen outward examples of kindness, love, respect on a daily basis then he will understand it without a book. All kids have it in them to test the limits, you just have to be ready to always say where the limits are. Never use scare tactics, but set up your own guidelines for discipline at all ages, and this changes yearly, but you have to be consistent and fair and always with love in your heart for what is best for the child. Don't ignore bad behavior, don't bribe good behavior. Your daily life is the best guide you will ever have for the child. Remember - "monkey see, monkey do", they will model their life after you, good or bad. Don't stress, you can do this because you know in your heart what is best for you and your family. If you doubt yourself, then find a good book for you to build your self confidence in your joyous role as a mother, or find your mom or grandmother and ask them all the questions you have. If you are a good person, they surely had a lot to do with that and their advice is priceless. You don't have to do everything they tell you, but it will give you a lot to think about. Good luck.

My advice is to focus more on really getting to know your child's personality more than all the advice books out there because eventually you'll need some child rearing advice and after reading everything about it you can find you'll be back in here saying something like; "Help, I can't seem to get my child potty trained." and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, trying 15 ways to help your child reach ONE of those beautiful milestones is very frustrating. My oldest son wasn't potty trained until age 4 and I did try everything and even repeated a number of methods. To be quite honest I was broke and couldn't buy diapers so I put regular underwear on him and kept him home while he changed clothes every time I turned around for a little over a week (Good thing I was a SAHM) I was beyond my wits end and for the whole week he couldn't have cared less. Then one morning he simply said, "Mommy I'm ready to use the potty now." and hasn't had an accident since. It wasn't until then I realized he quit nursing cold turkey, the only way I was able to switch him from bottle to sippy to cup was switching cold turkey. That is a pattern that had I known his personality better I wouldn't have spent so long trying a million ways not to potty train my child. Here is the best parenting advice I know of.

1. BE CONSISTENT The books will tell you to be consistent and I do believe this should be the number one parenting rule. Consistency with everything. Don't threaten unless you follow through and don't promise if you may have to break it. Through this you will earn your child's trust, as well as, respecting your authority. It is amazing how much easier it is to get your child to obey when they respect you and don't just try to mind to keep from getting in trouble. At your child's age the key is to set the example with your own actions, words, and tone. The way you behave is how they will learn to behave. They will treat you how they are treated. They will also adopt parts of your own personality if you are afraid of something or really love something chances are they may as well.

2. LOVE THEM Show them you love them, play with them, be silly with them, read to them, teach them through little games (like asking what color things are while grocery shopping) and don't forget the good side to bad behavior is that it shows you your child trusts they can push that limit and know you will still love them. You show them you love them with your protection by not allowing a broken limit to go without consequence. Again that consistency thing.

4. ACCEPT THEM Avoid getting all caught up in the whole developmental age thing. I did and there was no need for it. parents with kids under 1st grade tend to be so focused on how much they have taught their child but down the road those who do well in school and go far in life are those who have a love for life and a love for learning. This is the age to focus more on developing their personality, fine motor skills, and gross motor skills than having them ready for Kindergarten as early as possible. As toddlers let them learn at their own pace they will be pushed plenty once they are in school and it helps if they love to learn enough to endure all the try try again we spend our whole lives doing. Teach them its ok to fail. Toddlers learn best through play and its not toddler play if it isn't uninteresting enough to hold their attention. Watch them play alone, join in, and then point out and show them facts about the item instead of introducing the item to them put it down and allow them the joy of discovering it.

One that I like that has been helpful for all ages for our family is Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel. It includes examples and scenarios along with ideas on what to do. Easy to read, too - from one Mom to another!

The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp and Shepherding a Child's Heart by Dr. Tedd Tripp...both are very different approaches, but I think you can get some great stuff out of both books. Also, Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman is a MUST READ!

As mentioned below, get the Ezzo books -- Baby Wise, Baby Wise II & following. You're probably past the first few, but even Baby Wise II might help. I'm not sure of the nest one's name -- Childwise? Growing Kids God's Way? but you can check by author. Also, I'd suggest ordering any book from your public library first -- then you can make sure it's what you're looking for before you buy a copy. Even if the library does not have the book, they can get it for you -- just ask the librarian to help you.

Hi C.,

What our children really need is prayer, and I'm not trying to be funny I'm really serious. There is a book called the Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian. I bought the book when my son turned 2 and let me tell you he was in to everything and I was having a problem getting him to mind me, but when I started reading that book I could tell the change in my son. There are prayers at the end of each chapter. I promise you if you read this book and recite the prayers daily you will tell a difference. I haven't read the book in a while and my son's behavior is getting a little out of hand, so I am going to start reading the prayers again. Stormie Omartian also has books for kids like The Power of a Praying kid, What happens when you pray for boys and girls.... look her up on Amazon.com I promise you'll be blessed by this book.

L. H.

I saw that you have already received lots of great ideas. I would like to add that you should watch Supernanny on ABC. Her techniques REALLY work! Mainly it's setting rules and sticking to them. Our kids have to know what is expected before they can do what we expect:) If you are a Christian and want to raise a child that knows why we ask our kids to behave a certain way (because God commands us to) I am in a Bible study right now called "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel (Blair from Facts of Life) It is a little over a 2 year olds head for understanding but in another year it will be awesome. My boy is turning 3 soon. This book shows you how to use Bible verses to help train your child's HEART instead of just correcting bad behaviors.
I also reccomend Discipline with Love and Logic.

Hi C.,

When my son was younger (older than your child but is Autistic) I read a book titled "You Can't Discipline a Child in a Snowsuit" that was helpful. Sorry, don't remember the author but know the book was filled with humor along with tips. That has been at least 10 years ago and the book might be out of print...hope this has been somewhat helpful.

Dr. Dobson with the Focus on the Family group in Colorado Springs, CO has written books on discipline from a Christian aspect that are very good also. You probably can get them by visiting their website...just google Focus on the Family.

W. Q.

"Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Tedd Tripp is excellent for very young babies/toddlers and up. Even a quick read of the introduction will give you lots of things to think about regarding parenting. "Dare to Discipline" is a classic with some good parenting tips. As your son ages, "Boundaries For Kids" is very useful. Since you live in the south, as I do, "How To Raise A Gentleman" is a must read.

Blessings,
D.

One that I have used for years in Parenting Workshops and with parents of children that I was working with is Positive Discipline for Preschoolers by Jane Nelsen. I have not seen it in a while, but I think it is still available. It has good, positive tips.
D. B.

123 Magic by Phelan has worked well in my house and it is a real easy read.

My hands down favorite author on this subject is Kevin Leman. His book "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours" has been very helpful for me. John Cloud, Henry Townsend and Randy Carlson are also good. Then there's James Dobson. Good luck.

Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. You can probably find it in a Christian book store, or order it from Christian Book Distributors. Dr. Dobson's books are wonderful also. Get Bringing Up Boys.

Check out Love and Logic. www.loveandlogic.com

Really amazing stuff! I wish I had, had it before my kids were two. The best part is the Audo CD's I listen to them in the car and I don't have to worry about finding the time to sit and read.. with kids, really who does? :)

We use a method called babywise. you can get the books online or at a book store, but the first two are "babywise", then theres "toddler wise" and so forth. we have 3 kids, age 3,2, and 2 months. now our kids aren't perfect by any means, but it has definately helped us! good luck!

My youngest daughter has trouble with her behavior, too. She has gone through a very traumatic experience, which resulted in her needing counseling. A GREAT book recommended by her therapist was 1, 2, 3, Magic. It is very simple to read and you can start immediately. You have received some wonderful advice from many different people. But I want you to keep in mind that every child is different, just like we are. You know your child. Therefore, you know what method would be best. With my first child it was too easy! I definately would not of needed a book for her (little angel, then now she is a teenager, Pray For Me!). Plus, I was raised up very old school. But I had to use something else with this one. It seems to work really well with her. You just need to remember to be consistent. Consistency is very important! A child will use your inconsistency to their advantage. When you say you are going to do something do IT!

We also used a marble jar as a positive reinforcement. She really likes this idea. I got a plastic rubber made canister,and marked it at different levels. I used the gem rocks from the dollar tree. It was my choice on how many marbles she would get and she got to put them in there. Sometimes I would have her take some out, not to often though. This was good because she didn't like the fact that she had worked for something and had to go take a few out. We discussed what she would get or wanted once the marbles reached certain levels and once it was full. We stayed in a reasonable price range, but she was able to receive something kind of big once she filled the jar. I used this along with 1, 2, 3, Magic. It worked GREAT for us! The jar also help her to learn how to count. We would empty the jar and count how many she had. She would also have to count out how many to put in. Lots of Fun!

Keep in mind all of these things can help but GOD is best help of all. Pray! Pray! Pray! because this is just the begin and with God all things are possible! Remember God's speed is the best speed limit because it is unlimited.

The principles in Love and Logic will be helpful now and throughout the teen age years. Specifically for toddlers and preschool, 1-2-3 Magic has good techniques. I use to teach parenting courses and we used these materials.

Heck, just go to the library! Saved myself a lot of $$$ that way ;)

Here are the books that have made the most sense to me:

Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey - incredible insights into the minds of even very young children, great examples for what to do in various situations. Covers all of the common discipline issues. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles: Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka - great encouragement and ideas for interacting, somewhat different approaches. Still reading it but so far I give it two thumbs up!

Successful Children by Dr. Sears - Still flipping through it, but I love all of his books and approaches, and if the man can have 8 happy adult children, he must be doing something right!

NOTHING by T. Barry Brazleton. The rest, he's got all wrong, if you ask me.

NONE of the baby/toddler training books. Nothing hard-lined saying you have to make your child "cry it out," or that doesn't emphasize where the child is coming from. If it's just results they're trying to give you, and focus only on reward/punishment systems that create those results, rather than communicating with your child, then it's not healthy advice. Real, lasting, effective and positive discipline starts off with helping you intuit what's going on developmentally, emotionally and/or intellectually with the child.

Good luck!
L.

no sorry not at this time

The parenting center at Children's Hospital may have some good ideas... They are starting a workshop this Friday called the Terrific Twos.

If you have a TERRIFIC TWO YEAR OLD, join us for the next five Friday
mornings to talk about development, behavior & discipline, eating,
sleeping, and more! Call to register, ###-###-####.

Fridays, 4/11 - 5/9/08
9:30 - 11:00 AM
At the St. Andrew's site.

Best,

M.

I loved Childwise. It is by the authors of Babywise and has some great ideas for ages 3-7. Also, I think you should just print out and frame the response from Debby L. below! It is awesome and she is exactly right. You can read all the books (and I do recommend reading some), but nothing substitutes for getting to know YOUR child and building that great knowing relationship. All that she advises is right on track!

I also have a 2 year old boy... some books I found helpful are: The Discipline Book by Dr. William Sears; and Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp - this one is more of a spiritual guideline for teaching your children with scripture. It helps to be reminded that our babies will imitate us, if we are working on our relationship with God, they will mirror that!
Good luck!
V. O

This one: http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Love-Difficult-Discipline-Coop...

It's a sanity-saver. :)

Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley.....