Advice on 18 Month Old Throwing Fits??

This may not be something you would consider, but with both of my children....... I would swat them on the back of the thigh. All it took was one or two times of that stinging in the "fat" of their legs and they stopped that behavior.

Funny, I was just reading this article. Maybe it will help!

http://www.parents.com/toddlers/development/discipline-sp...

Another helpful book is The Discipline Book by the Searses. Whatever you do, don't hit or pinch your kids. You set an example by how you deal with frustration. By resorting to violence, you are teaching your child that violence works. It's an easy and quick solution but it's only temporary and will have long term effects on your child especially if you overuse it.

Sounds to me like he is having trouble with transitions, which is totally normal. If he is involved in an activity, it is hard to just switch over to a different activity, regardless of how simple or routine.

Are you giving him advanced notice? I find that this works really well. Set a timer and say, "When the timer goes off, it is time for ..." Or simply tell him he has 5 minutes until ... Then remind him when the timer goes off or the time is up what it is that comes next.

I found with my daughter that if she was prepared for transitions she handled them better. Also, give him a set of expectations whenever you leave the house. Say, "First we will do this, then this, then this." and give him advanced notice when you are ready to change activities.

He may be a little young for time out at this age, plus we like to reserve time out for the truly undesirable behaviors such as hitting. You can try giving him choices, such as "Do you want to change your diaper here or over here?" or if there are two adults available, "Do you want so-and-so to change your diaper or do you want me to do it?" Giving him choices can give him more control over the situation - just make sure that both choices are something you can live with. You can also try reminding him of something positive - if you are going to the playground after changing his diaper, then remind him of the fact that he will get to do something fun afterward.

The real trick is to avoid the melt down in the first place by preparing them for the transition. My daughter is 30 months and we are still working on this, so don't give up!

Good luck!
-N.

WOW---that brings back memories. I liked the suggestion of choices. We did that with our strong willed toddler and he now is a middle schooler and still responds best to choices. Now, the weekend choice is...would you rather help with yard work first or get started on homework, and do your share of the yard later? He is just that way.

Another piece of advice is to monitor your reaction when he throws a fit. Some kids take any reaction from the parents--good or bad---as a positive stroke. If their choice is no attention or having Mom get really worked up and frustrated, he just might go for the action that gets a strong reaction.
Third, be sure to give a little reward for good choices. We never wanted to go with buying them something...bad trend. But my strong willed child LOVED playing in a plastic tub of rice (with cars...dinosaurs...spoons...fingers). When he made good choices and didn't scream and yell, we would get out the tub of rice and he would play! And it's easy to vacuum up later.
Lastly, at a church or mom's organization (like MOPS), find a playmate (and a mentor for yourself.) My son did well in a one-on-one or very small group of toddlers. As he first learns self control and interaction, I believe a large group of kids can be overwhelming. Keep it small at first.

Get Toddler 411. It will explain this developmental stage. It will also provide some effective discipline strategies. At 18 months, his time out shouldn't be more than 1 minute. I have 18 month old twins and their time out is one minute in their (child-proofed) room. Being separated from what's going on is a great way to teach cause and effect. Since I'm outnumbered, my boys are stuck in their stroller for errands. I try to make no more than 2 stops, time them so they don't coincide with nap time or that "magic hour" when they are horrible just because, and bring snacks. If a meltdown happens, I do a brief time-out then and there. If the screaming continues, I just ignore it and do what I need to do (if possible). No reaction from me seems to make it less fun for them. I really don't care if I get looks or not. Most people, frankly, are just grateful it's not their kid who's making the rukus.

Is he objecting to having something done, or to being MADE to have something done? My daughter objected to tooth brushing until we bought her several different toothbrushes - now that she has a choice in which toothbrush to use, the twice daily battle is over. Do your diapers have different patterns on them? Let him choose the diaper. When it's time to leave the store, give him the option of walking or being carried. He's getting to the age when he's trying to assert his independance, and figure out how the world works. So, let him choose things -just within YOUR preferences. (Never offer choices you aren't willing to let him have!) Works for us.

My daughter is 2. It has been over a year since we went into a place and set down to eat. Even fast food. We go through drive through and eat it in the car where she is strapped down. Spanking has never helped. I use to think it was bad parenting when kids would act that way until I had her she is my third and only one that does this. Stay calm. Distract him with being silly. Even if people stare. My girl still is hard to handle and I just found on Comcast cable in the on demand part sign language. It teaches like ten words about ten minutes. I use them and it helps a lot. Some people say kids can't communicate at that age so they get frustrated. It helps my girl not be so loud and whiny. Definetly pay attention to what he eats. At that age and still now I noticed I had to avoid juice. She behaved better and wasn't so wild. My daughter still runs when I try to get her dressed and change her diaper. Probably not what kind of child you imagined on having but some of it is part of their personality. Your son could just want to play. Spend more time playing with him and giving him more attention. I had to take my girl out to the park and let her go to get some of her energy out in a good way....All of this because I thought at first my daughter wasn't being discipined right and that wasn't the only reason she acted the way she did. I had to step out of my comfort zone and routine to help with the behavior.

Don't you wish each child came with an instruction manual? They are all so different and require a different set of rules. When my daughter put me in similar situations I found that it was all about getting my attention. Negative attention is still attention - and ignoring the tantrum but praising good behavior solved our issues. It is a stage - not a personality trait. Don't take his behavior too personally, because it isn't about you. It's about him figuring out his place in the world. Perhaps try enlisting his help - gettinig supplies ready for the diaper change, picking out a diaper, throwing it away - so he feels like he has some control over the situation. Maybe introduce the potty as an option if he seems to want some independence. As his verbal skills improve and he can tell you what he's feeling, the tantrums will subside.

I liked some of the advice in Happiest Toddler on the Block. The portion about identifing with the child, "_______ is ANGRY! _______ is Angry!" Stomp your foot make angry eyebrows so they see what they feel in your face and body language. It usually nips a tantrum in the bud. Sometimes it doesn't work so well, but most of the time this is a VERY helpful tidbit. You may feel silly but kids sure respond. Also, toss in some sign language. I have found that kids especially at this age really respond well to the addition of a concrete sign, this sign means these words.

Best wishes in HIM!

I need the same advice! Mine does the same things and gets so upset nothing will calm him down and he does not seem to be able to calm himself down. It is very frustrating you never know what is going to trigger it.

I have an almost 2 year old( in a very short few weeks). He picked up some less than desirable behaviors while at the sitter.

Some may not agree with what I have done however it has worked for us and has for some of my friends.

We always count to 3 and then any punishment ensues. This gives him an opportunity to comply with what we are asking of him.

At home I put him in his bed to think about things for a few minutes. If it's really bad behavior I tell him we can talk when he has calmed down and wait to go back in until then.

Depending on what is going on we have a kitchen wooden spool that gets brought out. Usually just the sight and he complies, but if not he gets a swat on the behind. Typically we don't have any more trouble.

If we are out in public you can leave immediately and go to the restroom or outside to the car to make your point. Or as I do if he is really acting up you can pinch him slightly underneath his arm on the inside of the arm. No one sees it and man does your point get across.

I hope you find some things that work. It can be really frustrating at times. Be consistent even when you are at your wits end.