Advice Needed for Dealing with 2 1/2 Yr Old Behavior Issues

Try a sticker chart. The child gets a sticker for good behavior and a sticker is taken away for bad behavior. At the end of the day that child gets his treat that he has worked for ie. trip to the park before dinner, toy from the toy box, gets to play a special game with mom after dinner. My daughter is 3, we started this about 2 months ago and she is a different kid! Good luck and remember to stay consistant!

I would just zip out and grab the Positive Discipline book(the basic Positive Discipline is AMAZING and the Positive Discipline A-Z, which is literally a "look up" system for any behavior issues) by Jane Nelson...they have saved me (and I was a PRESCHOOL teacher and thought I would have a "blast" during the 2/3 ages! Ha!). Actually, I have to say that those books not only help with discipline for those tricky times, but they have really helped build such a fun, safe and loving relationship between my children and me. Keep it simple and know that you are not alone!

All wonderful advice you have been receiving. I agree with everyone here. I went through that with my son when he was 2. He is now 4 going on 5 in jan. and Let me tell you.. these little ones, it seems like every year they test their boundries even more.. All i have to say is how ever you decide to discipline your child.. just BE CONCISTENT with it. If you put him on time out.. make sure it's somewhere without any distractions.. So if you sitting watching tv in the living room.. don't put him on time out there.. Or in his room, my son use to just get up and play in his room.. when i put him on time out. Try like facing him at a wall.. so he has time to think about what he did or in the kitchen at the table.You can also take their favorate toys away to. That is one thing I am starting to do now.

And it's important after they are done with their time out.. that parents explain to them why they got put on time out in a calm matter. Kids don't react to yelling. they just blockout what ever your saying cause you are yelling.. I still have that problem. at times it can get very fustrating..LOL.. Well Just remember to be consistent.. I need to practice what i preach. it's hard to do that. but we all need to be consistent.

Hope this is some help for you.
Good Luck!
C.

I highly, highly recommend the book Dare to Discipline by James Dobson. It's critical that you get this under control now or you may end up with a very rebellious child! The book is all about letting your child know that you are in charge, in an environment of complete safety and love. My mom used it with me and now I'm using it with my son. Good luck!

Hi S.. This is definately a trying time for parents. My son did the same thing. He started hitting me at 15 months and laughing in time outs. It got so bad I took him to the pediatrician for advice. She recommended sticking with time outs and NEVER letting him get away with it, ever. That was something I could do since I stay home with him. Even if he was headed to bed at night and hit me on the way, we'd stop and he'd sit in time out for 1 minute. (Doing 2 minutes in time out because that's how old he is was too much for him). If he was playing with friends and he hit one of them, we'd appologize to them and leave. He now gets it very clearly that hitting is not allowed. He still hits his friends sometimes if he's frusterated but he knows the consequences and it doesn't happen as often. Now, he's almost 3 and doesn't hit ME at all anymore. It's a phase but he still needs discipline for it. Your son may laugh while in time out now but he will soon learn to dislike it if he has to sit there each and every time he hits. My son laughed, too, but now cries while he sits there. It's not funny to him anymore. Good luck!

I have 2 boys, 5 & 6 now and time outs don't have any effect for us. All of the books below are great and I agree with BE CONSISTENT. That is the key! Whoever coined the term terrible two's didn't have a 3 year old :-) Whatever method you choose stick with it and you will see a quick change in behavior. For me it was sticking to schedule, offering fewer choices, and lots of positive reinforcement. It reinforces those boundries for him and reminded me to notice the good behavior too.

aLL VERY good advice. The times outs don't always work so well for us either, however, we Insist, if ever he hits that he gets one or some other form discipline. This might just include talking with him and explaining why we don't hit. Reiterate that hitting, absolutely none, is allowed. Stick to your guns, never let him get away with it, not even once, without some form of reprimand. If the time outs don't work so well now, find a different way, but just be serious and consistent about it. It is a phase and he should outgrow it, and even faster if it's not allowed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Applied_behavior_analysis

This is used to help children with autism and other developmental disabilities... but also works great with neurotypical children that have no other problem than behaviors that can be modified!!!

Love, G.. :0)
http://stemcellforautism.blogspot.com/

"I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin." ~ Jerry Newport

First of all, he has to understand that you're not happy. You need to find a very stern look and then use it! Let him know by the look on your face and the tone in your voice that you are not playing. Also, with the hitting you need to stop that now. I have never allowed my children or grandchildren to hit me, not even in play. From day one, the very first time they hit me, I grabbed their hand, looked at them very sternly in the eyes and very sternly told that they they are NEVER to hit grandma; grandma does not play hitting! None of my children or grandchildren ever tried it after that first time. The trick is to convey your total unhappiness with a look and tone - no violence; no screaming; very calm and very matter of factly. You need to be the same way with the time outs. As a matter of fact, I would put him in his room and close the door. He needs to understand RIGHT NOW that hitting mommy will absolutely not be tolerated. Like I say, with my kids (still to this day) and my grandchildren, all I have to do is adopt by stern look and EVERYONE knows they are in trouble!

The terrible two tend to extend through their threes, so be prepared...LOL! Seriously, read the Love and Logic Books for some great hints on how to handle this type of behavior. Good luck!

At that age what really worked for me was the timeout chair(I had to find the right place for it) they hated it and would do anything not to have to sit there. As per The Super Nanny you do a minute per year of age and when done you go to their level and have them tell you why they got into trouble and they have to say they are sorry nicely. For more info here is her website- http://www.supernanny.com/ Good Luck!

Another excellent book on discipline without chaos: One, Two, Three Magic. It really is magic! There also is a companion video that shows families doing it correctly and incorrectly. Helpful to me since I learn best by seeing it done. Another reason time outs don't work for 2s--time out is really time out only when the child puts him/herself in time out on a verbal command. Taking the kiddo to time out defeats the whole purpose. It may be effective punishment for some, but it isn't time out. Good luck--and have fun--with your terrific two!

ahhhhhhh, sounds like my household. I have found that being consistant is the only thing that works. I put my son in timeout, if he gets up or trys to get up, he gets 3 trys with me sitting him back down and telling me while squatting in front of him that's he's in time out and why. on the last time, I tell him if you try to get up again you are going to time out in your room (which is like death to him not sure why, he LOVES his room otherwise), and than I proceed to have him finish his time out up there. We have a gate on his room so the door isn't closed and he can hear us, we can hear him, etc. But he does NOT like being far away from the "action". It could also be that he is seeking one on one time with you....however, I suspect it's like my little guy and he's just seeing how far he can push his limits.

Good luck, we will survive.......or so I'm told.

K.

If time out doesnt work, then do something else. Have you tried spanking his hand?

Very common but EXTERMELY frustraing behavior! Like everyone has said, be consisitent & don't let it show that he's getting you mad cuz that will just feed the fire. I know, easier said than done! I also agree w/offering lotsa positve praise, for even the smallest of acts. Like when he hugs you, thank him for the hug & let him know how much you like hugs instead of hits. We have 2 boys, 8 & 3.5 yrs & when they hurt someone, either physically or emotionally, I always point out how the other person is feeling, 'Look how sad so & so is cuz you hit them. See he's crying?' I want them to see the effect of their actions altho at 2.5, your son might still not get that but just keep pointing it out & it will start to sink in. But, as other have said, being consistent is key. Also, make sure whoever spends time w/him, grandparents, babysitters, daycare, dad ect, all displine for the same infractions so that he gets even if he's at grandma's house, hitting won't be tolerated & there will be consequences. Good luck!

Remember when disciplining try not to get too emotional. Stay calm. Little boys especially like to push buttons so if they see that it is something that really gets to you they will do it just to watch your reaction.

Coming from a different perspective, I'd check out the Positive Discipline books by Jane Nelsen. She doesn't even really recommend time outs until approximately the age of three, because she claims that a kid's sense of cause and effect isn't well-enough developed to make them effective. Anyway, I went through this with my daughter, the phase has passed, and I didn't use time outs. When those moments arose, I would tell her what I wanted her to do with her hands instead (as was appropriate for the situation), and tell her we don't hit. I would also think about what made her hit. Often it was crossing her boundaries in a way that made her uncomfortable--looking at her too intensely in the eye, being too close physically at that moment, etc. Good luck. I know this is really trying.