I am a 36 year old mother of 3. They are 17,8,21 months old. My 8 year old son was born with a leg discrepancy and know has an external fixator on his right leg to fix the problem. its been on for about 6 weeks and its been a life changing experience for the worse, he has always been an active hyper boy but always loving and funny. Know he is defiant mean always wining aggressive and inattentive to anything we say, he is constantly crying and has screaming tantrums for hours at a time he doesn't let anyone sleep, and wants all my attention when he wants it. I am at my wits end i feel like IM spinning out of control I love my son dearly but this is testing me in away that I never thought possible. has anyone gone through a similar thing I need help in finding ways to cope with it all. thanks a Mom in need
I want to thank you all for your responses and advice I am going to definetly going to get Michael some counseling because it is really overwhelming for us all.He isnt in school,the school doesn't allow him due to safety concerns so teasing isnt a problem,but he does miss his friends. I wil keep you all informed on how it goes,its really good to be able to tell someone else my story and not be jugded by my actions or decisions. family can make it harder sometimes. if you have more info on ODD I would greatly appreciate it.
part of his behavior could be due tothe leg brace. But does his school have councilors? my 2 oldest kids are in therapy in school 1 for anger issues & the other for ADHD & ODD.. the more you pay attention to a temper tantrum the worse it usually gets
i as well have a handicapped daughter. she has minor cerebral palsey. i can only tell you how i addressed my problem. first when she turned 7 things became horrible for us. she displayed ocd behaviors, she became a very violent child towards her younger siblings and to myself. when i would try to seperate her during thse times by sending her to her room, she would break things in her room. i ultimately ended up first getting her in counseling to help her learn appropriaate anger behaviors. i also took her to a psychotherapist who gave her medications. she was on the meds for 2 years while attending counseling. today she is off her meds, done with counseling, and her behavior has greatly improved. its not perfect, but it is now at a level that is much easier for me to handle.
Hi,
We dont have the same issues, but my guess is children dont like to think that there is anything different about them and maybe he doesnt understand or is having problems with other children. Sometimes they may think there is something larger going on. Does you childs school have a social worker or someone he cant talk to. Otherwise maybe the doctor or a child psychologist.
Getting him some counciling to help him cope with this change would probably be the best thing. Also try getting him to talk to you about how he feels about it. He's probably acting out because he feels limited You said before the brace he was very active, now he can't be as active and it may be taking a toll on him. Also he's probably bringing home anger from school. Children can be very cruel and his school mates may be picking on him.
L.,
It may be that this is the only way your son can deal with what is happening to him. But on the other hand, I would talk to his surgeon. In certain ages groups - the very young and very old - behavior changes are the only thing we have to tell us that there is a problem. He may have an infection in the leg of that appliance or have pain he doesn't understand. I am a physician assistant in internal medicine, so orthopedics and pediatrics are not my area, but still, I find his behavior change troubling. Have you spoken to his surgeon? If surgeon doesn't think it is because of a medical complication to the procedure, I bet they would have a list of other families who went through this procedure that would be willing to talk to you. Infections are not always obvious things, so don't eliminate that as a possibility if his skin around the insertion looks good and he doesn't have a fever. Good luck
M.
I am not sure what an external fixator is, but my son is 7 and my daughter is 15. My son was born with CP and if affects his left side as well as his leg. He wears a brace on it, we treat him as if he has nothing wrong with him and always have. We do not incourage the disability we incourage the ABILITY to do what ever he wants, he just may have to try a little harder. Do not ge to caught up with your emotions so that you feel you need to compensate. Being that I am not clear on what an external fixator is or how it is affecting him, that is all the advice I can offer for now. Hope it helps
D.
Hello L.,
When my son was about 5 he went through a phase where he was out of control, he kicked, screamed, cried and said he hated me. It was very difficult. I used the holding method on him. I would pin him with my legs and arms and tell him I loved him until he stopped. This is not easy to do but after doing it about 4 times he was totally different. We came up with a code word I would say when I felt he was getting to angry. I would say the word and he would sit himself down on the steps and calm down. This was very effective for me and also taught my son how to deal with his emotions in a proper way. Give it a try if you want, I hope it works for you as it did for me.
