An acquaintance lady's birthday is today--she is a day care teacher who gets off at 2 (no kids, not married). She texted and reminded me that its her big day! We only know one another semi-socially as we are both new to Cali.
I said sure I will take you for appetizers and drinks when my husband gets home today at 4:30. She texted me back and said that she preferred a 7pm dinner over appetizers at 4:30. I told her 7pm is not doable as I have a kids--so the plans are canned.
What do you think of this awkward conversation?
Thanks to all of you. She is not my child's teacher, she teaches in the church's day care. She is like a another of my new acquaintences who announces to folk that her big day is coming--tacky. But I am new to the area and want friends--so I bit each time for thei birthdays. But no, I will not reschedule nor send a card. My gift was not appreciated--and no she had no other plans for 4:30 I just know that she like NICE restaurants--we have had that conversation before when I suggested eating at a mall food court.
I would text back and say, "oh sorry, just confirmed with hubby that we have other plans tonight and can't make it. Hope you have a happy bday". Is this for real? Pretty ballsy if you ask me, if she actually ASKED you to take her out. However, after I recieved her first text "reminding me of her big D.", I would have simply texted back and said, "great, happy bday, I hope its great!" and left it at that. Good luck.
Hi RC-
Wow...beyond rude and presumptuous!!
I would cross this lady of my list of possible new friends...and file her under 'wave and smile' from a distance...
Best luck!
michele/cat
You gave her your boundaries and it didn't work for her. Oh well. She might have had other plans earlier with someone else. I would NEVER text someone to remind them that it's my birthday. Uggg.
I think you are fine. She's lonely, but clearly not desperate.
Unless the two of you had previously discussed plans to celebrate her birthday together, you owe her nothing - not even a card, much less dinner
I don't know anyone that "reminds" friends about their birthday .
Super tacky.
Sorry you have a tacky friend.
Not a fan of being told how and what to give ...,
omg, how weird.
you are awfully nice. i'd courteously but firmly extricate myself from this altogether.
awkward indeed!
khairete
S.
I've never fed an acquaintance anything - teacher or not.
For any teachers we really like (and we never know their birthdays), for teacher appreciation week we'll get her a card or maybe a candle and that's it.
tacky on her part. I would give her a card and say sorry we couldn't get together. I can't imagine saying nope I don't want what your giving me I want more.
Is she normally socially clueless? Cause that was just wacky. That is just not normal.
Wow, there are a lot of negative assumptions one could make, but I know for me 4:30 anything wouldn't really work -- not because I'm greedy and want my friends to pay for dinner, but because I have my kids at home and would want to wait for my husband to get home to watch them. Just because it didn't fit into her schedule and she suggested something else doesn't mean she's presumptuous and rude! I mean, maybe she is, but you certainly can't conclude that on the little bit of information given here. But she can't be that awful if she wants to spend her birthday with the "new girl." Friendships are hard to make in adulthood and shouldn't be tossed away lightly. It's completely normal among my friends to negotiate times and places to get together. Not sure why plans were canned rather than simply negotiated for another D..
Sounds more clueless than anything to me. She is not married and does not have kids so she is not used to having to schedule everything around a family... Maybe give her another chance and go out for coffee on the weekend some time...
She knows that dinner is more expensive...
Was she reminding you that it was her birthday because she was excited and wanted to share? Or did she ask you to get together to celebrate?
Invite her over at 7 and when the kiddos go to bed...you, hubby and her can get the party started...huh?? HUH??????
Don't make a big deal reschedule for the next D. or the weekend when their is more free time. I try to meet in the middle
