9 Year Old Son Constantly Tattles and Blames Others

Sounds identical to our house and how i feel! This will probably sound crazy but I started waking him 1 hour before he gets up, giving medicine, letting him fall back asleep. Eventually, he can set own alarm, take pill, go back to sleep until u wake him. It makes a world of difference in morning routine bc medication is in effect and in system for tasks like getting dressed, finding backpack, not getting frustrated and running crazy! I also hv two other children who i felt were learning by his example( and mine!) when it just gets too frustrating. A friend had told me to try medicating before he actually wakes and it changed our mornings! A.

We have a similar issue. Our 'best' mornings are when either my husband or I are completely ready when the kids get up so that the one sho is ready can stay with him and calmly talk through the morning routine. It's difficult when we oversleep or are trying to get ready while they are also getting ready. We also let him pick out his clothes the night before, socks, shoes, everything and lay it on the floor like a little stick man. He isn't allowed to leave the room (except to potty when he first gets up) until he puts his clothes on. Good luck!

I have a lot of the same issues. My youngest is 8 1/2 and we are pretty sure his has ADHD but not been tested. He has a hard time waking up and getting ready. We have to tell him get dressed put your glasses on put your shoes on, eat.....All of that. But his older brother is the one that picks on him. It's not easy. Some morings he suprises me. Some may say you should not have to remind them but they may not have a child like yours. My mom does not understand my son. She thinks you can treat them the same way but you really can not. I think that 9090girl had some good advise though. If you have that kind of time. I personally can not wake up an hour before he's got to get up! Consiquences don't always seem to make much of a difference to mine. Unless we fine something that he really loves to take away. I don't have a lot of advice I know but I wanted you to know you are for sure NOT alone!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck and God Bless!!!!!

I feel for you. That's tough, especially in the morning when everybody is in a rush, it can be so frustrating when one person isn't cooperating.

Have you tried setting up a reward system with him? He may just need an incentive to get himself together. Have a sticker chart and every time he gets ready by himself, he gets to put a sticker on the chart. If he gets a sticker every day of the week, take him out for an ice cream cone on Saturday. Or buy him a little something at the toy store. He may just need a goal to work toward.

You say that your punishments don't seem to phase him. So, perhaps you need to punish in a new way. What does he love the most in the world? Not his allowance, apparently. Perhaps money is too vague a concept. Maybe you need to take away TV time or his favorite video game.

By the way, I had a terrible time punishing my 9 year old, because he just didn't care what I took away from him...until we got a playstation. Now, all I have to do is say, "No more playstation," and he's straight as an arrow. You may just have to find something that he loves enough, that it actually is a punishment when you take it away.

Good luck! http://keystosimpleliving.com/kids.php

He knows the rules. Reminding him of them repeatedly is condescending. It's also not working. He is enjoying the attention he gets from misbehaving. It also makes him feel powerful. That's why he keeps doing it. You have to change your approach. I strongly urge you to read the short book "Raising Lions" by Joe Newman
http://raisinglions.com/

Before my son started K, I made a morning routine chart and taped it to his closet door. Every morning we would refer to the chart to see what was next on the list. Your son may like one that he could check off each item as it is completed. The bullying and picking on the younger siblings needs to stop immediately. That should be a non-negotiable. Strict consequences everytime he does it. I used to teach and at 9 a child, even with adhd, should have some self control and not be "out of control." I would speak with his pedi asap and let him/her know what is going on on and what would they suggest. Also, use the school's counselor as a resource. They are there to help the kids and getting to school without having a horrible morning is something they could help you with. Maybe set up a reward system between the teacher and yourself. If your son has a good morning, he gets to put a marble in a jar or a sticker on a chart at school. When he has earned a specified amount, he gets a reward. The reward should be something he would really like. The reward can be at school or home. I love the idea of letting our kids know that we work together with the teacher and school, that it is a partnership and that everyone cares.

If I were you, I start to work on his brain chemistry! Get him tested first - - not by a normal doctor who would prescribe more pills to keep him in a tranquilized-state all day. Get him to Dr. Sharon Price who will test for nutritional deficiencies, hormone imbalances, or helter-skelter brain neurotransmitters. What if the answer were something simple - - like a severe deficiency in magnesium? . . . What if, after taking magnesium supplements for a week, your son became a different person? It could be THAT easy!
Dr. Sharon's website; http://nutritionaldirection.com/en/Home.aspx

((Dr.Sharon is running a special through March - - 20% off tests for new clients. Tell her that I sent 'ya!))

Also, study the work of Dr. Daniel Amen. He's done brain scans of 60,000+ people, many of them were kids with various brain imbalances like ADHD. He's divided brains into 4 categories. Your son's brain would be in the category of "not being able to concentrate." I can't remember what Dr. Amen recommends for that type of brain - - was it 5-HTP or melatonin? Don't give either one - - until you check with Dr. Amen first. The wrong one could make the situation worse! His book is "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life." He has a website and an free e-newsletter that you can sign up for: www.amenclinics.com While there, check out the SPECT images - a gallery of 3-D brain scans. I find it fascinating that the abusers of drugs or alcohol have entire "holes" in their brains - - dark areas of inactivity. No wonder addicts are jerks and can't think straight - - they are already mostly "brain-dead."

Finally, read the work of Dr. Foster Cline. (He's the LOVE and LOGIC dr.) Nagging doesn't work. He recommends natural consequences. For example, one morning be ready to have everyone leave the house on time, but one parent stays behind because son is still in pajamas. Don't nag or give any reminders. Just state the fact and be genuinely sympathetic, "Wow, your class starts in 10 minutes. Even if we left the house now, we could not get there on time. Your friends are going to wonder where you are. I hate being late when I am supposed to be somewhere." Being late to school for a few mornings in a row is EMBARASSING to kids. Just let teacher know what you are doing.

My son is 6 and we have the same "morning problem". The only thing that I have learned is the calmer I stay and the less that I let "send me over the edge", the better. I just I stay with him while he gets ready. I really can't even ask him to put on his shoes and step away...it won't get done. He knows how to do everything, but it just doesn't seem to get done unless I am there. Later in the morning, afternoon, etc. is better, but his medicine has kicked in by that time... I'll be checking back to see if anyone else on here has an answer...