Smart & Healthy, Lazy & Daydreamer

I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who I feel takes FOREVER to do anything. I mentioned it to my mom the other day and she said to take the time you think it should take to get anything done and multiply it by the child's age. This gets you a better idea of how long it will actually take to get anything done. Although it is frustrating, remembering this allows me to give her time. I am trying to enjoy all the extra time it takes her as she learns to do these things and be responsible for them on her own. Hope this helps.

Hi K.! Please know that you are not alone in the morning rushes and fiascos with slow-moving children. The only advice I can give is just remember he is only 6 yrs old and is still adjusting to school and the early routines. Sometimes children are just not morning people and they need a swift pat every now and then. My daughter is the same way. The best thing to do is get as much as you can prepared the night before: clothes laid out, lunch packed (except for cold items), breakfast bowl & spoon ready, vitamins, back pack & homework. Have it all set and in one place. I've found this works so much better for my daughter and I. All we have to worry about is her getting dresses, eating, and brushing her teeth. The rest is taken care of. The older they get, the more independent they will become and we slow down. It will get easier.

I have 2 boys (12&9) and a daughter (6). My boys the definition of anti-hyper, anti-haste, very laid back boys. My daughter is with it, competitive & active. All are really good students. It's irritating and inconvenient at times, but their calmness (contrasted with my haste) is occasionally refreshing given all the kids (especially boys) who suffer from ADHD. It's an ongoing challenge to get the boys moving, but it has gotten better and now that they take more pride in their appearance, they have more initiative to get moving in the mornings. The evenings, with homework and afterschool activities is equally as frustrating because of all they time it takes to get them going. But in general, it's fine. BTW - my husband is very deliberate and methodical (and slow) but he is extremely smart, accomplished, and productive.

Hi K. S
What time does he goes to bed? you could try an hr or so earlier to bed.
Some bloodwork, iron deficiency? ask his Dr.
If all that is ok, well he is just not a morning person, try telling him a story about the super hero that just got call to save a cat that got traped on a iron fence. The hero is your son, the hero needs to get up and get dressed. You tell him the rest of the story when he goes in the kitchen to eat breakfast and he needs to eat good because he is going to need all the strength to brake the toughest fence in the world, but he needs to hurry because the cat is in grate danger some big dogs are in the area. Hurry, tell him, the hero needs to wash and brush his teeth no hero goes out without cleanning him self and cats like clean heros.Make a happy ending of the story while you walk him to school. See if this works. My doughter now 26 was a sleepy hat too. But she would love for me to make up storries.
yours Gladys F. 50 single mom
good luck

I've got the same problem! This sounds EXACTLY like my 6 year old son! Except he is all about Pokemon. He is very smart, but he is always daydreaming and thinking of all kinds of questions to ask me. He talks and talks while trying to get dressed for school. He,too, will start telling me how things work and keeps asking me, "What's your favorite color? What's your favorite this or that? What would you rather do--jump 10 times or run a mile?" The "What would you rather do" conversation continues all the way to school. I'm not a morning person either, and after about a minute of the questions, my mind just shuts down and I start replying without even thinking. He moves sooooo slow! It takes him forever to eat his breakfast. So, the mornings are spent with me yelling at him to hurry up and him oblivious to the fact that he has to be to school on time. At night, when we put him in the shower, we'll go to get him out about 10 minutes later only to find out he hasn't even started shampooing or washing. Then I or my husband will ask him what he's been doing all that time. Now, the teacher says he's daydreaming at school and not getting his work done. I think he is bored for one thing. My husband and I had a firm talk with him, and now he is doing his work again. Last fall, we put him in soccer and when he was goalie, the ball would roll right past him into the net because he was sitting on the ground picking flowers. All the parents got a laugh out of that one! I'm curious to read the responses to this problem as I could use some advice as well. I think a lot of it is immaturity??

He might need more sleep. My son is 11 and he is still that way it's just not as bad. When he was little and would daydream I would use that to my advantage. I would ask him what super hero would you like to be and when he told meI would then say do you think he would be that strong if he didn't eat. Oh he's fast well if you want to be like hidon't you think you need to speed up. Now at 11 he knows the tricks, He is in Jr. ROTC and wants to go to pracice everyday at 7:00 AM, so I wake him up at 5:30AM and stay ontop of him tile is in the shower, then I get dressed. When I'm done I go check on him and get him moving again if needed. ty making it fun but conversating with him, it taks a little bit of time but he will soon pickup the pace and will move faer than you think. MAKE IT FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make a chart on posterboard of everything he needs to do in the morning, then give him a small kitchen timer. Help him set the timer for each task, then tell him if he beats the timer he will get a sticker for that task. Also, make him aware that if he gets ALL the tasks done before the timer goes off (getting a sticker on each row of the chart) he will have some extra time to tell you a superhero story or to look at ants WITH YOU!

I am hearing myself talk, I swear!!! Ok, so that is perfectly normal, since I have read what you wrote about my morning routine!! I think they just don't understand the sense of urgency of "moving it" in the morning. I am trying to get him up just 5 or 10 minutes earlier, so set the clocks fast and have him still get up at 7. My son is able to read thje clock and knows when we need to go, so since we are almost always "late" leaving the house, setting the clocks fast has helped. Good luck!

Sounds just like our mornings, only my six year old is a girl. I'm thinking this is normal behavior for a six year old; at this age, they just don't have any concept of time. Madison will sit on the potty, after getting dressed, for ten minutes. Then stare at herself in the mirror making faces when she's supposed to be brushing her teeth. There are plenty of mornings when she has to eat breakfast in the car.

I think for now this is just how it is. There may be some things you can do to make it easier for him to remember what he has to do & be rewarded for doing them, like a sticker chart of his "morning responsibilities" so he knows what comes next and can mark off each thing as he does it.

LOL!! You crack me up! Maybe I can chuckle because it seems we are in the same boat. I also have a 6 year old daydreamer and a 2 1/2 year little dude. The only difference is that the 2 1/2 year old gets up before big brother.
At the beginning of the school year into the habit of putting his clothes at the end of his bed and on top of that is a digital timer. I will go and "wake him up" 15 minutes before his alarm is set to go off. He has to get up when the alarm goes off. He will set his timer for 15 minutes and in that time he has to slip into his clothes go to the bathroom and brush his teeth(which has already been set out with the tooth paste on it- I know how it is with the tooth paste). When he gets downstairs he puts a sticker on his chart for beating the clock,eats, puts on his shoes and we go to the bathroom so I can do his hair and he can swish with mouthwash, we throw on his jacket and we are out the door. This all takes about 45 minutes without the rushing and yelling to "LET'S GOOOO". Some mornings are worse than others because I think he didn't get enough sleep the night before but the routien really has seemed to help. As he gets older he will be responsible for more things on his own that he will have to take care of himself but for now thing are going swimmingly.
Your post was great thanks for the smile!
Good luck!!!

Every child is different. Stay calm and keep doing what you are doing.

I think your son needs a few minutes of your time that aren't spent telling him to get ready. When I wake my 7 year old in the morning, I try to do it playfully, like "wake up sleepy-head!" and then I talk to him and encourage him to wake up. I take a few minutes each morning to listen to him and talk to him without rushing him at all and then I help him get ready. I know mornings are very hectic when you have kids (I've got 4) but just a few minutes with my youngest makes the mornings go much smoother and is a good start for the day.

I also have a son who will be 6 in a few weeks. It is so easy for us to do everything for our kids, but at this age, they are ready to do many things themselves. They just need motivation. They aren't old enough to have a real sense of duty, but they can feel a sense of accomplishment when they have well-established goals and reach them.

I suggest some type of chore chart. He needs to see visual goals. He needs to know exactly what comes next without waiting for you to tell him. I use the one below (see link) for my 3 and 6 year olds, and I loooooove it. There are pictures that clearly explain each chore, even before they can read. You can use whichever task cards you want, and even make some of your own. If he still seems slow in his tasks, add the element of a timer for each part of his routine. He gets 5 minutes for each card on his chart in order to earn the card or token.

My son has been pretty good with his morning routines for a while. He learned out of sheer self-preservation when I was pregnant last year, because I spent most of my days puking on the couch. But even as self-sufficient as he is, this chart brought great improvement to his routines. He just does it all himself each day. He sometimes gets up and finishes his morning routine before I ever get out of bed (make bed, get dressed, brush hair & teeth, eat breakfast, clear plate & wipe place at table). He'll come wake me up to let me know all of his yellow cards are in his "I did it box." I would recommend this chart to anyone with kids from about 2-10 years.

http://www.sensationalbeginnings.com/itemdy00.asp?T1=P+3+999
(You can google "pressing matters i did my chores" to find other stores and maybe a better deal. I paid the same price at a local teacher supply store.)

Oh, and buy the flip-top toothpaste container...no more excuses! ;-) Good luck.

cc

First, you are doing NOTHING wrong.

I had the same issues with my son and I did send him in bare feet one day. Now, in the 2nd grade he realizes being late has consequences. It was not really until the later part of 1st grade and this year that he "got it". What we did differently? First, it all started with the night before! We follow a "school night" routine. "Getting ready for school starts the night before with GREAT rest for your body" is what we tell him. We fought bed time for a long time in 1st grade then we let him choose to stay up till 10 or a 11 a coulple of nights and he fell asleep at school and was weepy and got in trouble because he was so tired. This took one week to cure. Now he is in bed asleep no later than 9PM. He puts his clothes out the night before in the SAME spot, in a chair in his room. Second, HE puts his book bag, folder and homework by the EXIT door for school the night before for school in the morning. I do put his milk in his cup the fridge the night before and HE goes and gets that to drink after he gets dressed while I brush my teeth and get dressed. (The times he does not or has not he did not have time to drink and went to school either hungry or thirsty) he rarely messses around anymore. (I set the breakfast table the night before so he knows to sit down to have breakfast).I too had the seat belt issue, I say Mommy follows the law and you do to. "The car won't crank until the seat belt clanks." I had to allow my son to be late over 12 times and finally his teacher and principle talked with him. He lost recess time and his citzenship grade suffered but after suffering from HIS OWN choices (one was fighting going to bed and staying up late) he finally knew he had a job to do and that was to get to school. What he is going through is very developmentally normal for little boys. I would scream, let my blood pressure raise and be so frustrated until a friend said "Wait, you need to allow him to BE late and suffer the natural consequences and let the teacher know so they can help in this process." It worked!

His being late is not YOU being late! Once I accepted this i t was much easier to step back and facilitate.

Have you read Parenting with Love and Logic? It has helped me so much with my little boy. Who is rapidly growing into a adolescent. Enjoy the day dreaming! Find time to do that together, it fades very fast. (He may not have enough free play time at school and need this time at night and tell him superhero time is at nighttime but SUPERSCHOOL boy has to get up and get ready to go school to go be super)You could even get a SUPER school boy cape that he can put on ONLY after he gets dressed and brushes teeth (check out chasing-fireflies.com for a monogrammed cape)! He then has to take it off and HIDE it in the car in a special place before you get to the school door so ge can be a school boy like CLark Kent was the reporter. I had to do this with "Capitan Hook" and we hid his treasure and sword so the lost boys and Peter would not find it while he was at school and he winked at me everyday I dropped him off. I love these memories! Enjoy and be creative, he is and it sounds like he is lots of fun! As for the second child, I now get her up to go with us and eat with him because she really enjoys seeing him in the morning and it models going to school for her. She is a breeze because she just follows along in the morning routine. Good luck and you are doing a GREAT job!

Sounds typical to me, and personally I don't think it has anythiing to do with getting enough sleep or ADD. My son often does the same thing. He is now 7 and it is getting easier. One thing that helps is giving clear time limits. Maybe if you get him a timer and let him know that if he gets dressed before the timer goes off he can have X, Y Z for breakfast. I also get the quaker muffin bars for those days that he takes so long he needs to eat his breakfast in the car. After all at 6 and 7 we can't hang over them every second, I have to get myself ready too lol. My son also knows that if he doesn't have his shoes on etc. by a certain time that the TV privledges will be taken away or time outs will be given. Don't worry your not doing anything wrong just continue to be consistent and hang in there.
This age takes a lot of patience!!

Good Morning K.
try turning morning time into a christian adventure since he is a super hero he must destroy the the grip of the ice demon who is making him soooo cold by applying the Word of God find a scripture that will go with each thing that he complains about and you'll see that he will look forward for the next morning for the new adventure, also look online for campsongs 1 in particular is Rise & Shine give God your glory glory.
N.

K., Your mornings sound just like mine except I do a lot of screaming which does no good. Have you had your child tested for ADD/ADHD? My son is 7 and I have the exact senario as you. I know a good Psycholgist on Lovers Lane in Dallas who can test him. Once you get some answers I can tell you what we are doing now. Good Luck!!

Dear K.,
I'm a grandmother who gave this advise to her daughter about getting her children ready in the morning. Wake up your children with lots of hugs and love, the rest of their grown up life they will have to use the alarm clock. Buy him a timer to help him manage his time. The reason I felt compelled to write you is that I saw my own grandson described.
Blessing to you and your familly.

Your son sounds delightful. Enjoy him!

Hi K.,
I feel your pain. My oldest daughter who is 5 has many similarities. I feel like I spend an outrageous amount of time encouraging her to hurry up, and I'm quite certain that it has the opposite effect on her!
Here are a few suggestions that I've found helpful some of the time:
1. Play the clothes race. Clothes, socks, shoes are laid out the night before in another room (i.e. your room... nothing too far away from his room, though) and as soon as he's up and on his feet (encourage him to spring out of bed into action), he's to quickly run to your room and get an item of clothing to put on. He then must run back to his room and put it on and then race back to you to get another item of clothing and back to his room to get dressed(and you are cheering him on wildly or pretending to be a commentator reporting on the state of the race). And so on until he is dressed. You can clock his times, have him record them and try to beat his own times. This would also work well if he had someone to compete against. Maybe after he perfects his own personal times, he could challenge his dad to a clothes race. You could offer privileges earned for x number of days in a row of an acceptable time.
2. Another option is to have him practice being more efficient during a time of day that is inconvenient to him. For example if he plays in the afternoon, you could announce that, since he's having trouble getting dressed in a timely manner in the mornings, play time will be spent practicing getting dressed over and over again. Or brushing his teeth over and over again. It requires inconveniencing him and him having to repeat a behavior that is not fun until he can show you that he's capable of doing it in a reasonable amount of time. There is a great book called Try and Make Me that really details out this approach and how to implement it. But the idea is pretty simple. He's inconvenienced you in the morning, now you inconvenience him so he can correct himself. I have these little teaching/practice sessions from time to time with my daughter and they seem to be fairly effective. I would just pick one thing at a time and let everything else be on the back burner. Really hold him to that one task after he's gone through the practice part of it. If he doesn't follow through the next morning, that afternoon it's back to practice time. Approach it with as little emotion as possible, this is so much easier to do when you are on his time and not trying to get everyone out the door in the morning. I would say something like, because you're going to be seven before we know it, we're going to start teaching you to do some things that seven year olds do without help from their parents. I know in my case it can be hard to find the time to take away from them because our schedule is pretty booked. But when I stop and think about what's more important, going to ballet today or my daughter learning to take care of herslef independently & in a timely manner, I know that the things we struggle with at home are life survival skills and me accommodating her time frame doesn't do her any favors.
3. Have you talked to the school to see if it would be possible for you to bring him in his pjs one day? Just as a lesson? I think the book I mentioned above suggests that as a way of eliminating the slow behaviors in the AM.
4. In the approach of training him to be more independent & having the repetitive practice sessions at an inconvenient time, I would involve a timer and use it regularly with each learned skill. Set a reasonable amount of time for him to spend on each skill. Make sure each skill is a manageable task and not too ambiguous. Instead of saying get ready for school, you would say a) put on your clothes, including socks and shoes, b) brush your teeth, etc. I would also implement the use of an alarm clock as one of the new privileges (responsibilities) he will be in charge of on the road to getting ready to be 7.
5. One other thing I do, when we are preparing to go somewhere and not in a rush at all, I emphasize to my daughter to take her time and I make little verbal comments on how nice it is to take our time and not need to be somewhere at a particular time. The hope is that she would appreciate the difference and be more responsive when things are time sensitive. An example: sometimes I tell her 2 hours before we need to leave for dance class to go put on her clothes. She will spend 90% of the 2 hours getting ready, talking to herself, and being engrossed in her own world. Occasionally I'll prompt her (and comment about how we've got plenty of time, there's no rush, blah, blah...) but I try to let her take all the time she wants.

OK, I really feel like I've been rambling. I hope at least one thing mentioned might be helpful. You are justified in being concerned. It sounds like you are planning well, anticipating his stalling and building in some extra time in the mornings.

Feel free to let me know how it goes. If you run across any other ideas, by all means, pass them on!

All the best,
A.

I was in a relationship with a man that had a son from a previous relationship and I had noticed that his some would also do the same thing. His son was 4 when I first got with this man and when our relationship ended he was about to be 6 and half way though the relatioship I asked him why his son would act the way he did. I was always very carful about how I would word it just for the fact that he was not my son and I didnt want him to take offence to this. But I told him that his son would not listen the first thought tenth time we asked him to do something. When it came to eating he was exactly the same as yours. He would wander off into a daydream and we would lituarally have to sit there through his how 30 min. of eating trying to get him to eat faster just because he also had to go to school. If we would take him off the table before he was done he would either throw a fit because now he wants to eat or he would right before we would leave for school say he is really hungry and complain all the way to school and during school till the teacher would give him a snack. It would also take him a very long time to get ready for school as well, he also felt it was necessary to tell us a story or argue with us and also complain that it was cold. So finally after a year of arguing, him not progressing in school because he would still spend most of his days in his dreamland I got his father to take him to the doctor just because the teacher threw out the idea that their might be something more to the story. Being that my nephew (that I have basically raised since he was 10 months old) has ADHD and suffers from the same things his son did when not on medication. I brought it up and like I said after a lot of denial and arguing he finally when along and took him to get evaluated and they did run numerious test on him, they sat him down and talked to him in detail and did as well say that he had ADHD. Now well before we had spit when he was on his medication he would pay more attention, do more for himself and it was a lot easier for all of us. His school work was starting to come along and we were seeing a big difference in him. So this might be it and this might not, all children are different and some just know how to "play the game" to give us mothers a hard time. So good luck to you and I hope I was a little help.

Hi K.,

I have a 6 year old and we have been dealing with the same issues! It makes me laugh to think about it- but when we're in the situation, its very frustrating. Whenever I say "hurry up!" he just meanders to whatever task he's meant to take care of.. I just dont think they know what it means to rush in the morning.

So... what worked with us is I made getting ready into into a game. This means - you will need to sit there and oversee him getting dressed- but it'll cut down the time into 2 minutes rather than 30. I pretend to be a sportscaster and I tell him its a competition to see who can get dressed first. We usually use animals- but if your son is into super heroes you can do that.. just tell him who he's competing against, and each day you can switch it up. So- I pretend that Mr. Lion and Ms. Giraffe are racing to put on exactly the same items that he's putting on.. sometimes they are in the lead, sometimes he's in the lead, sometimes I pretend that the giraffe got mixed up and put the socks on his head.. just to keep it light and fun. You have to use your imaginiation and it does take effort- but you'd be surprised at how fast he can move when he's being challenged like that. At the beginning I had him "win".. but made it feel close.. but later he would lag and I'd have the animals win (but my son would almost be finished anyway)..
We stopped playing this game now- and he's proud of himself when he gets dressed on his own fast and we make a big deal about how he did it on his own... but we're still dealing with breakfast. I guess one step at a time! :)

Good luck!
Adla

One thing you can try to do is to ask him to be a super hero and see if he can get ready faster than his favorite hero. If he manages to complete all tasks without you having to put him back on track or get on to him several times you can put together a "goodie box" for him to pick one item out of. A goodie box is basically a shoe box with several of very inexpensive items such as a small piece of candy, a bouncy ball, a super hero card, a small car or anything that is appealing to your child and each item has a string attached to it drapped outside of the box. When the child does what he needs to do the first time you tell him to he would get a trip to the goodie box. You allow him to pick one string and pull that item out of the box and what he gets is what he gets. There is no exchanging items. I have found this very successful with both of my boys 1-13 and 1*7. Good luck.

I call this pokey puppy syndrome.
My daughter is 6 and in first grade. I could have written your post. Many mornings I struggle to remain calm. I lay out her uniform and sometimes dress her. As she daydreams, tells me stories, or plays, I have to keep reminding her to eat her breakfast. If I don’t remind her to eat she will often forget. Then when I say that its time to get going she will say, “But Mama, I hardly got to eat any of my breakfast.” As if the food had not been sitting on the table in front of her for more than twenty minutes.
The only thing I can offer is hope. She has improved slightly since the beginning of the year. Some people aren’t morning people. At six I don’t think they really feel much of a sense of urgency to be on time.

We had this problem with my 6 1/2 yo daughter last year. I also have a 21 month old so I can relate to getting both ready and out the door.

We started getting up 15 minutes earlier so she can really wake up, which she does slowly. She's not a morning person either. Then I set a repeating alarm on my cell phone. We can only snooze (5 minutes) 2 times before we have to leave. She figured that out pretty quickly and it's been working great.

Also she got really tired of having to eat cereal bars (We get the South Beach since they are low in sugar and high fiber and protein) on the way to school because she didn't have time to eat at home.

Good luck!

This is very typical of a young boy of that age. When my son was this young, I always got myself up, showered and ready to go to work before I got my son up. Then when I was all done I got him up, assisted him to wash face, brush teeth, etc... Then he would go to the couch and get himself dressed. He was not allowed to watch his favorite cartoon until he was completely dressed. While he was getting dressed I got him his breakfast and made our lunches. He would be dressed by this time and get to eat his breakfast while watching his favorite show. Clifford, or Sesame Street, or Blues Clues. The TV show was his incentive to get dressed. If he wasn't dressed by the time breakfast was ready, no TV that a.m. It really worked! Now he is 13 and I still do it this way, although he of course does his own hygiene, no longer watches an a.m. show and can help me with things now, such as getting the dogs out and taken care of before we have to leave to go catch the bus. Sticking to a routine really helps a lot. They know what they have to do in the a.m. and what you expect.

Wow ! That sounds just like our mornings! My son is also 6 and he's in the first grade. He resides in his mind A LOT. Always daydreaming. I've come to the conclusion that he will outgrow that eventually, but there is part of me that loves that about him and part of me that it drives crazy.

I don't have much suggestion except to tell you what we've recently started. I've seen some results, but its spotty. Another parent told me about this program called, "Accountable Kids." It's a board you hang up and it has cards with daily tasks on it. The idea is that they will go to the board and turn the cards over as they do their tasks (earning rewards as they go.) I love the idea b/c theoretically I don't have to hear myself repeating commands all day long. But at this point, I still am saying, "Check your board!" all day long. I hope I can stick to this long enough to see some good results. Its kind of pricy, but I was ready to cough up anything at this point. I think it was about $40 for the board (includes cards), book and dvd.

Its worth checking out...

J.

We did have this problem and I actually got permission to take my son to school "as is". Whatever he had accomplished by the time we walked out the door was how it was going to be. I loaded him up in the car in his pj's and he was anxious to not go like that, that he grabbed his clothes and shoes and dressed in the car. But he did not have breakfast and did not get his hair or teeth brushed. That was a short term solution and we haven't had any incidences like that again, but I will tell you, that he takes more "sheparding" than my other children. He needs a little more help and guidance in the mornings.

A little about me: I am a SAHM, 17 yr. old daughter, 11 yr. old son, 9 yr. old daughter. Great Christian husband and loving father.

Dear K.,

My 9-year old daughter was ALOT like this, and is only coming out of it this year. I identify so well with what you are going through. What I learned is that my daughter, (1) developmentally, was not ready for more than one instruction at a time; (2) was and is not a morning person--so she's slow to get started; and (3) did not have ANY sense of time (we are still working on this). In addition to all of this, she has a great imagination, which tends to distract her easily, though she is not ADD. We ended up having to set a timer for each task (i.e., five minutes to get dressed, three minutes to brush teeth, five minutes to comb hair). It was a chore, but the timer really motivated my daughter and helped to keep her on task. Eventually, she got to the point where she really hated such a tight structure, and thus, motivated herself to stay on task without the need for a timer. It helped to put a sign up in the bathroom with step-by-step instructions for getting ready. Each year, she has become better with the routine, and as I said, I have really noticed a difference this year. Be patient--I regret the times I lost my patience. Our kids are coping with a lot at school and it's important to send them off, knowing that we are in a good frame of mind, loving them for just being who they are, and proud of them. Best wishes, J. B.

What I would give to have my son back at that wonderful age of learning and soaking life in, as he knows it! My son is now 10 and has grown to take responsibility when it comes to getting ready for school. However those days of his active imagination and “silly questions” are almost gone and I miss them so! I would recommend you enjoy it and take pleasure of your morning conversations. This is an opportunity for you as a woman to actually see life though a young boys eyes! It helps to better understand him and communicate with him, as he gets older. I found myself running around the house just like you once, and every morning after dropping him off, I would drive away thinking “ I feel like we are always in a hurry.” I don’t want to sound like a “cliché” but you have to enjoy him while you still can, they grow up so very fast! Perhaps getting up just a bit earlier so you’re 90% done getting yourself ready. That way when it’s time for him to get up and going you’re not pressed for time. And you can take the time to sit down and listen to him while he eats or while you’re brushing his hair. One more thing, you didn’t mention if you join in his conversations with you. I mention this because; talking with him might help him from sidetracking what he is supposed to do next. While talking you could throw in “what kind of super hero powers were you saying? Please go grab your back pack.” So that the last thing he hears is an action and he can respond to it. Keeping him focused but able to keep the conversation going. You might find yourself repeating your request but above all, be patient. He is just now able to realize how big this world around him is. And taking in everything around him. He sounds wonderful and maybe you could “stop and smell the roses” with him too. We could all learn from our little ones. ; )

Does your son work well on a reward system? We have this problem too and here's a couple of things we've been using. I put two stickers on our clock. A green happy face sticker on the 6 and red sticker on the 10. If he is done with dressing, brushing, eating by or at 6 he gets to do his own activity. Which usually is watch a TV show but lately its been the WII. But he does not earn this previledge that often, bc he is a slow poke. But he does try to attemp to reach that goal. However, having the red sticker on the 10 also has help him to realized when he is in the "red zone". We have to get out of the house b4 or at 10 til. If he gets done with everything b4 the red sticker, he earns a point on his reward chart. This he has taken much ownership of. He works really hard to earn his points. And I think the stickers help him keep track of time. A.

well, you said you are not a morning person, and apparently neither is your adorable son. it is frustrating, but you, now as an adult/mommmy have learned how to cope with morning fuzz. he needs to do it too, but he is only six. two things- you said you are allowing plently of time in the morning, but maybe allow even more time? and the other, does he go to bed early enough? my neice sounds a lot like your son, very spacey, and as it turns out, she would wake up in the middle of the night and play for hours! her mother found out because she happened to wake up in the middle of the night, and noticed a light on upstairs, and found little avery in la la land, maybe 2 in the morning. check on that.

Your story is really cute and so typical of a 6-year-old. Relax. Tell him since he takes so long to get ready, you'll wake him up earlier, then do it. Maybe he could get to do something he likes if he has extra time. That may or may not work. You could also tell him that if he doesn't get ready in time, he will not go to school that day, and kids who don't go to school stay in bed. That will most likely be a very trying day for you, but, esp. since he likes school, I'll bet he'll be up and at 'em after that.

I couldn't help smiling when I read all the posts. I thought it was just my (6 year old) son and I having this problem with mornings. It's comforting to know others are having the same trouble. I am not much of a morning person, and I've discovered that neither is my 6 year old son. He does okay getting dressed. (I put the clothes out the night before.) He even does fairly well with combing his hair and brushing his teeth. (I DO tend to put the paste on the brush ahead of time for him because we couldn't find the flip-top kind last time we shopped.) However, my son tends to linger over breakfast daydreaming for 20-30 minutes. Then he is surprised when it's time to go and complains that he didn't have time to eat. I DID have a good laugh about the mother whose little girl makes faces at herself in the mirror when she is supposed to be brushing. Mine does exactly the same thing!

A reward/sticker chart only helped us for about three weeks. Timers cause meltdowns. Nagging/scolding doesn't help and starts all of us on the wrong foot for the day. Racing helps us with things like getting dressed, but I'm not sure I want to do that with food because of possible choking and not setting healthy eating habits. I am going to try the announcer thing that was suggested and will keep reminding myself that I am not alone in my frustration (which will help me stay more patient).

Talk to the school. You can send him in his pj's. One time should be enough. My son is like this over his shoes. He goes to a small private school as well and in kindergarden he had 58 tardies. I finally had enough. One day I rolled down the window, said to the assistant principal "We're having shoe issues (and handed him his shoes and socks), I'm not dealing with them." I then turned to my son and said: "Get out of the car." He never did it again, the embarassment took care of that.

maybe you could push bedtime back a little in order to help him be more awake in the morning?

Maybe you need to just let him go to school in his P.J's. It should only take one time for him to realise that you mean what you say, that if he doesn't get his clothes on, he goes to school in his P.J's.If need be, tell the office staff what your situation is, they will understand. I had to do this with my daughter ONE TIME ONLY and from then on, she took me seriously. Of course, have his school clothes with you,let him change when he sees everyone else has school clothes on. Do not let his see you have his school clothes, or he will think it is a game.

K.,
Are you describing your house or mine!!! LOL! I have a 7 yr son and 6 yr daughter that go to private school. I work part time and have a 4 yr son, 2 yr son, and 14 mth daughter also. I am so not a morning person either, but God has gotten my attention. Three mornings a week, it is a complete circus trying to get everyone dressed, packed, fed and out the door by 7:30!!! My advice is to do as much the night before as possible. Bags packed, lunches made, clothes laid out, breakfast dishes on the table...whatever can be done. In the morning, you just have to stay on top them. I have also found that if I leave the TV off and play some classical music, it keeps everyone in an upbeat mood and focused on their task at hand. Just remember, children feed off of your frustration; set the example you want them to follow.
We also do a lot of singing..."this is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made! I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it!!!"
Good luck,
K.

My mother read stories to us while we did dishes in the evening to get us to work faster and more continuously. If we quit working, she'd quit reading. Maybe if he want's a superhero story, it wouldn't hurt to give it to him, but only as long as he is actively getting ready. Of course, if there are other things you absolutely must do while he's getting ready that won't work, but it might be worth a try. We LOVED it when she read to us, and we got the dishes done about 5 times faster than when she didn't, and with less fighting as well.

This sounds like my son a few years ago. We would race to see who could get dressed first. I would start by saying I bet I can get my shirt on before you and then we would yell ( we were the only ones at home) I have my arm in etc... I would always let him win but it really got him moving and was more fun than starting the day with the nagging mom roll.

S., mom to 2 girls 1 boy great husband.

Hi, K.. First I want to thank you for your request. I know you are frustrated, but I laughed so hard while I read it because it is a prime example of a weekday morning in my house, almost to a tee, except I have 3 boys (8, 6, and 4 year olds) and a 2-year old daughter. My six year old is every bit as laid back as yours. I try so hard to be patient with him, but I definitely know how frustrating it can be when you are trying to get out the door for school. I have found lately that I just try to encourage him as much as I can to keep moving and in the meantime I do my best to appreciate the fact that he is so great at "going with the flow" and just enjoying life. I know as he gets older, we will have to continue to consistently help him speed up since we do believe punctuality is very important, but for now, I think I'll just try my best to enjoy his personality and his love of life. Good luck!

Take him to your pediatrician and have him checked for ADD, inattentive type. Good luck. I've been married to one for over 30 years -- he's a wonderful man and a terrific husband but earning a living is difficult. Luckily, I can do that and enjoy it. Our daughter is 28 and still not self-supporting but medication makes daily life possible. Maybe eventually she'll find a job that pays enough to pay her bills (she works retail and they won't schedule her for full time).

Your description sounds so much like my daughter. I had to practically feed her breakfast in first grade. Throughout school (where she did very well) it took her exactly twice as long to finish any assignment as it took her classmates. We did nothing but school from sixth grade on -- her choice, easier classes would have bored her. She graduated 12th in her class of 500 from high school.

However! Without medication she can't function at all. Medication doesn't solve the problem but it makes it possible for her to do things, like get to work, pay her bills, clean her apartment. It isn't easy.

If your child actually has ADD, please, please medicate him. If the medication doesn't produce an IMMEDIATE result (like half an hour after he takes the first dose) then that's not his problem. Look for something else.

Hi K.!
My son Christian did that too. I would just get him up a few minutes early before everyone else and let him talk about what he wants to talk about. It can be your time to bond with him. Let him in on it and let him know it will be his special time to do that. I sometimes got Christian partially dressed with everything on except his shirt (it tends to get wrinkled). I then got his favorite song and put it in his boombox and would put on his headsets first thing in the AM. It really motivated him until he started doing it on his own. I also if it is a cold morning would put their clothes in the dryer (that's spoiling them a bit), but I had three kids to get up and the older one would naturally grab everyone's clothes and warm them up for me. I would say hurry and put them on while they are warm! It's funny because the oldest is 18 now and she still remembers it. Hope it helps. God Bless You!

Hi K.!
I had the same issue with my son Gabriel (now 10).
What I found worked for us was to get him up earlier. We had a talk and I informed him that until he could prove to me that he did not need it, we would be waking up a little earlier than usual. 6:30. This gave him the extra time to move SLOOOOWWW like he was doing and we didn't have to end our morning in a rushed panic. Of course he did NOT like getting up early. Eventually he figured out that I would let him sleep later if he would actually get moving. Needless to say we no longer have that problem. I am sure as we move in to his teenage years, it will resurface. lol.