My kids are 4 and 5. Since I work and mornings are rushed, I dress them. It goes faster... however, I've realized they need to do this themselves. I've created such a habit that when I ask them to, they don't and want "mommy to do it". I know they are capable as they have both done so before - usually at preschool and soemtimes at home. How to I get them do do this independently? With as little drama as possible (he he)
Thanks for the great suggestions! I will try some. I will also not stress as it's not the end of the world - appreciate that insight too!
Eh, I just did it for them til they didn't want me to anymore. Does not appear to have scarred them for life, they are three very independent teenagers now, but it DID make for pleasant stress-free mornings!
I know, what a rebel I am, right?!
:)
Ugh. I was soooooo guilty of the "I'll do it--it's faster!" thing. I swear I dressed him til he was halfway through second grade! LOL
I'm a fan of "any port in a storm."
I guess I'm a pushover, like Theresa!
They need a schedule. Allow more time for getting ready than is needed. So if you figure it will take them 15 minutes to get dressed wake them up with 20 minutes. If you want them to shower and that takes 15, make it 20. Ya get the idea.
Then as they show they can do it the reward is do it in X minutes and you get to sleep this much more. I had my older two trained to get up, shower, get dressed, make their breakfast, sometimes make my breakfast, make their lunches and have everything in the car to go to school by the time I was ready.
You have no idea how wonderful that was!!! My younger two I have to bribe with waffles to get the same result! :(
I don't have any suggestions, just wanted you to know, I'm the same way... I'm a SAHM though, and still do it for my 5 year old son. It's easy and fast...... He's my only one, and I think I baby him too much... oops!
Have a morning routine.
Start the routine, AHEAD of time... not down to the wire or the last minute, so that you all are not, rushing.
I have 2 kids. Who are now 5 & 9 years old.
I always have them... start getting ready, AHEAD of time... so that we don't all rush like maniacs in the morning.
I... get myself ready, BEFORE them. I wake earlier than them. Then, I am free to help them with whatever and make breakfast etc.
Kids, will have "drama" when they are rushed. I would too.
My son is 5 years old. He can... get ready himself. But he still needs to be egged on. Fine.
But when he was 4 years old, I helped him more.
At this age, they can be independent, but it will NOT be, 100% all the time or everyday or all day. At this age, you still need to assist them... when you realize they need to be assisted.
BUT the whole "trick" to this and getting ready in the morning is: To start AHEAD of time. Me, I create at least a 20 minute lead time... for ALL of us to get ready by. That way, we are NEVER late, in leaving the house and my kids always get to school on time. AND, they and me, have everything ready that we need to take into the car, from the night before.
Mornings do not have to be rushed. Just start ahead of time.
And you get yourself ready, before they wake up.
DM:
Have them set their clothes out the night before - that makes life easier as well.
Then have them dress with you. I used to make it a game with my daughter MANY years ago - I would make it a game to see who could get dressed faster - her or me...She won a lot because I was working...so I had pantyhose, etc. to put on...but it was fun...
Try making it a race. Set as much out the night before - we do that now with my boys - we do a "bag drag" before they go to bed - we have to see the clothes they will wear the next day....life is easier in the mornings when things are done - coffee pre-set, lunches made, clothes set out....
good luck!
I was dressing my son in kindergarten and when his teacher found out she told me to never do it again. They said to bring him to school in his pajamas if he didn't get himself dressed. I was shocked with this suggestion, but told him that night that if he didn't dress himself in the morning, from then on, we'd go to school in pajamas. Well, I'll just say, it only took once for him to figure it out! He dresses himself every day now. I also put a clock in his room and I show him the time and how long he has to get dressed in. It was rough ONE day then it's all good now! :) Good luck!!
Make a big deal about letting them pick out the night before what they are wearing.
good insight. you're right i'd get them dressing themselves also.
one thing that worked for us (you have to find your kids' "trigger") is offering a computer game, some cartoon time, or a small healthy snack (his preschool provides breakfast so he usually doesn't eat before we go. we would also sometimes offer raisins or some banana to add to his cereal at school). IF they get dressed quickly - i'd set the timer for like 10 minutes. it can take them awhile ;) that's once you know they know how to do it. but offer incentives for when they get ready on their own "like big kids". whatever motivates them, use it. get them to race, maybe? you know your kids best. we also did a morning chart with all my son's "chores" he has to complete. going potty, changing clothes, feeding the dog, brushing teeth...etc. then at the bottom were pictures of the things he'd be allowed to do once all the boxes were checked off. we used a combination of all these things at one point or another.
-and i agree with the others - START EARLIER! it is guaranteed to fail if you are rushed.
I let my daughter dress herself when there is enough time and I will dress her when we are short on time. I have tried to encourage her to dress herself every time, but honestly, that is a battle not worth fighting in my home - it just ends in me yelling, her crying and both of us being late.
I figure 10 years down the road there will be times when I will WISH that she would let me dress her (or at least pick her clothes).... so I will just do what works and causes the least stress for both of us for now.
Good luck.
i put my daughters clothes by the couch and she watches part of a morning show while eating breakfast. if she doesnt get dressed after eating the show goes off. Its worked for M.=)
With the girls I nannied for we laid out their outfits the night before, it was part of their bedtime routine. I would pick two options and from those two they got to pick which one they were wearing in the morning. If they got up and got dressed when instructed they got a pack of fruit snacks in their lunch, if I had to help them or their was an argument, no fruit snacks.
Hi DM,
My boys (6 and 4) do well with a timer. I don't make a big deal, I don't even tell them how much time in even on the timer. They just know they need to finish Task A before the timer rings.
The first time or two we did it, I gave them plenty of time (like 10 min) to dress, and that was all they needed: they are hooked!
I also use the timer to teach my 4 y.o. how long to brush (He's supposed to *keep brushing* until the timer rings).
Sometimes there's a little anxiety with the timer, because they don't feel like hurrying, but that's the best time to use it :)
t
I'd put out 2 outfits for the 4 yr old to choose from & have the closet set up with pants on one side, shirts on the other, underwear in a basket so the 5 yr old can pick.
Less clothes are better, I realized our hang up was too many clothes & too many choices. Once I got rid of a lot of stuff it got easier.
My 4 year old is all about racing now...maybe you do could "race" them?
