5 Month Old Starting to Refuse Sleeping in Her Crib!

Hi K., Poor you. I really feel for you. I felt the same way about 'crying it out'. Don't let anyone tell you it is the only way. It's not. She'll get there. I promise. I have two suggestions. The first one is to start her on some solids. I followed everyone's advice of exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and from the minute I started my son (now 13 months) on solids he slept better, was happier and seemed to take a huge leap developmentally as well. I really wish I'd started him a bit earlier. I think it would have saved me some sleepless nights. My second, more dramatic suggestion, is to get an Amby Bed - http://www.ambybaby.com/. I know this may seem like a big expense at this point, but the Amby Bed will help with the colic, the reflux and the sleeping. Have a look at their website. I think you'll find it informative. Take care and good luck. D..x

If you don't have anything aginst cosleeping, maybe you should try it so you both can get some sleep.

I have a 6.5 month old girl who was exclusively breastfed until 6 months. She has had her rough moments with sleeping, too. I actually LOVED the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" for the fact that it gives lots of different techniques that can work with various parenting styles. I never thought that it advocated one method of sleeping.

The one thing that it does recommend for all types of parents is to set up some kind of routine for sleep times. This means, however you decide to put your child to sleep, do it consistently.

Our naptime routine works like this: diaper check/change, drawing the blinds in the nursery so the room is darker, sit in the rocking chair, rock and sing to the baby for about five minutes, into the crib she goes, turn on the baby monitor, and I leave the room and close the door behind me. She usually fusses, and especially when I first established this routine there was a lot of angry fussing, but now she knows what's happening. Initially I would nurse her before sleep, too, and while I still will do that, especially if she's overtired or really worked up, I am working on getting away from nursing her to sleep every time.

I have found with both my girls that drawing the blinds when it's time for sleep, and opening the blinds when the nap is over is a powerful visual cue for a child. I'm very consistent with it, I do it every time, and while it doesn't make the room pitch black, it makes a very noticeable difference, and I have found that to be an important part of the routine.

At bedtime, we add a bath, a story with her big sister, an extra feeding, and definitely a nursing into the routine.

It's the routine that makes kids learn to sleep. It can involve crying it out, not crying it out, and anything in between, but you have to be consistent so that the kid learns to be able to tell when it's sleep time.

For me, now I have a child that sleeps great in her crib. Although, she will ONLY sleep in her crib. Oh, well. Once you get a strong sleep routine established, you'll be able to use that same routine in a different location, too.

One more good thing about HSHHC, it has a good chapter for parents of colicky kids on what to expect from them sleep-wise, and it also has good guidelines on how much sleep to expect from a child. I've found that incredibly helpful with both my girls.

Good luck! I hope you can start getting some good sleep soon!

~ E.

PS. One more idea: My daughter was reflux-y at the beginning too, and what I found worked for her was to have her sleep on her tummy. I know, I know, but even in the Dr. Sears Baby Book it says that babies with reflux often sleep better on their tummies. Even when my daughter had to be in Lucille Packard for 24 hours, she slept on her tummy, and the nurses didn't bat an eye once I explained it to them. Remember, when we were babies, our mothers were instructed by the doctors to put us on our tummies to sleep. Wherever the kid sleeps best is the right way for them to sleep. Plus, pretty soon your daughter will be able to roll over and choose her own sleep position anyway! :)

Hi!
let her sleep with you! She will sleep better and so will you. She is only 5 months, then they mostly wake up during the night. Very normal.
Hang in there, everything gets easier after they are one years old!

A.

Hi K., sorry to hear about your sleep deprivation...I know how hard that can be. May I suggest maybe co-sleeping with your baby. My son is 8 months old and we've co-slept together the whole time. He is a good sleeper and I think it helps greatly for them to feel safe and secure with their parents. I know everyone is different and this may not work for you but now that she's older maybe you should try this.

our twin girls BOTH had colic for 6mos, and SEVERE acid reflux for the 1st yr....for the first almost 9mos they had to sleep inclined...so early on it was in carseats, then bouncies then into cribs which we elevated on one side by putting towels on one end....dont' know about your child, but ours were in EXTREME pain w/the acid reflux esp when laying down. but since i had TWO at a time i HAD to allow them to cry some after about 4-5mos and it finally worked....i let em go 1 min then 2min then 3min etc, then came in to soothe, left, and returned if they didn't settle. it was very hard, but i KNOW IF u pick up the child and take her/him outta the crib just once while trying to do this "training" it takes another 4-5days before it starts working again. hang in there!

Hi, I have a 5.5 month old that is doing the same thing. My first son was completely different. He slept in his crib at 4 months, slept through the night at 5, and we never coslept. I also read the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It worked so well for my first son I thought I would be a pro with my 5 month old. NO SUCH LUCK! They are all so different. I found a website by Dr. Sears to be really helpful, 31 Ways to help your baby sleep. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp Basically, at this point, my husband and I are soooo tired we are cosleeping with the baby. He goes down about 7 in his crib, wakes at 10 to nurse, will go back down until 2 or 3am when he gets in bed with us and nurses off and on until 7am. This just started about a week or two ago.
I think it might be teething. I'm just not sure. I just keep telling myself that it won't be like this for ever...it might change tomorrow. Who knows! They change so fast! I hope the website helps.

Reading about your situation brought back memories of my own daughter's first 8 months of life. She too had acid reflux that deprived both of us of much needed sleep. Only parents who have experienced the shrill cries of pain coming from their precious newborn can relate. It was torture. I thought I was a failure. I was so tired that I was looking forward to going back to work so I could nap on my lunch break. You are correct when you say she will outgrow this!! The end is almost near!! My daughter began to outgrow the problem when she was about 8 months old. It was almost as if I switched off a light, it was gone that fast! She started making progress when she began eating solid food. She enjoyed eating rice, oatmeal, yogurt,egg yokes, alvocado,cheerios, fish crackers and homemade frozen yogurt popcicles. I think she was happier because she wasn't vomiting all the time and then hungry again. It was a vicious cycle of hunger, satisfaction and then pain. I don't know if you have started your daughter on solids yet, but if your pediatrician gives you the green light, give it a try.
Sleeping was a nightmare in our house for the first 8 months. My friend's babies were sleeping through the night, but mine was still screaming 20+ hours a day...and I am not joking. I am sure you can relate. A couple of things that I noticed were that my daughter never seemed comfortable when she was dressed. She was able to sleep better in just her diaper and lots of blankets. I also got a wedge for her crib which supported her at a 45 degree angle, which controlled her reflux. The greatest thing that I found that would put her to sleep was either the sound of a blow dryer OR the static on a radio. I would actually carry a small radio with me everywhere and play static just to keep her quiet in the grocery store, mall, car, day care...anywhere. The white noise, as it is called, was magic!!!!
My brother's daughter suffered from the same problem, and she too grew out of it at around 8 months.
On a happy note, my daughter has been sleeping through the night since she was about 9 months old. We did have to let her cry a few times, but it worked. She is now 10 years old, sleeps through the night and is 100% healthy.
Even though it seems like it won't, it does get better.
I swear! Just look forward to that first night of sleep that is longer than 45 minutes.
Best of luck to you!!

This sounds just like my daughter except she is only 3 and a half months old. Her daughter diagnosed her with silent reflux also and put her on prevacid but honestly they never did any tests to determine if she had it so a couple weeks ago I took her off of the meds and started probiotics. She still is a fussy baby, has gas a lot but is now teething. Her symtoms of teething started around Easter. Then one day all of the sudden I sawl white on her bootom gums. I noticed when she is in alot of pain she just wants mommy. She has never slept w/me either, actually always great w/going to bed. Hardly ever fights it except for the last few days. I'm wondering if she has a ear infection because she isn't eating as much as usuall, and Motrin isn't doing much. When she gets over-tired any little noise disturbs her which sucks cause I have a 4 yr old lil boy!!! It's extreamly challenging, my son was the easiest baby ever and she is Soooo different! It's hard because w/babies, you just never know they can't talk and it can be so frustrating. Isn't it funny how a lot of people say O once they hit 3 months it gets so much easier LOL! One thing I notice that helped her a lot was those swaddler blankets! But unfortunetely she will be outgrowing that. But I tell ya at first that was a miracle blanket! If it's not ne thing, it's another, I don't have much advice, but I can def.relate! Just this week I have got her to take naps during the day!!!!! I'm here if you ever want to talk!!! Hang in there!

Our second child had the same issue. He would only sleep while I held him. It was the reflux. He slept better in the swing or car seat. I agree with the other posts that you should find a way to prop her up in the crib, or just have her sleep in the car seat during the night.

The reflux meds never helped our son. Turns out his reflux was triggered by food allergies. Once we identified and eliminated the problem foods from his diet, the reflux, general fussiness and sleep issues went away. (He also had rashes, chronic congestion and frequent diarrhea, but some foods only caused the GI and sleep issues.)

Have you considered switching to formula? There are elemental formulas that are hypoallergenic because they break down the proteins. Our dairy allergic third child does not react to Good Start (which is partially hydrolyzed.) Allimentum is another dairy based formula that is further broken down and so is tollerated by most.

Unfortunately, allergy testing is very unreliable in infants. The tests (both blood and skin prick) usually come back as negative. Some doctors will resist even bothering to test for allergies until 3 yo. My son tested negative to all but peanuts at 15 mo, but then tested positive to pollen and around 30 foods at 2.5 yo.

It is quite possible that your daughter will outgrow the reflux (and food allergies if that is what it is.) But until she either outgrows this, or you can figure out the cause and/or find ways to treat her symptoms, I highly recommend GETTING HELP. Do you have any family that could come stay with you and help during the night? I was an absolute zombie from the sleep deprivation for several years. It took a real toll on me (and the whole family). It must be so difficult for you to function at work!!

Sorry this got so long. I can't emphasize enough that you have to follow your instincts and be firm and persistent with your doctor. I had more than one doctor tell me that it was probably just a "habit" problem. My instinct was that the problem was that he was in pain, but I wasn't sure, so was always very hesitant as to what was best. At 2 yo our son was still waking up multiple times during the night 3-5 nights per week. Within days of our putting him on a elimination diet he was consistently sleeping through the night. It was most definitely not a sleep habit problem.

Good luck!
D.

Don't give up. I know this is hard. You are doing the right thing about putting her in her own bed. I was afraid of co sleeping and rolling over also. If you start that bad habit, it is soo hard to stop. I know my sister did this with 2 children ages 6 and 3 and they still climb in every night despite all their tries to stop this terrible bad habit. Now she regrets letting them sleep with her while they were small.

Is she on cereal at night? IF not I would introduce this now, it's easier to get them used to it while they are younger. The AAP says anywhere between 4-6 months of age to introducing solids is ok.

I nursed 4 kids exclusively also with no formula. Twins until 4 months and the last 2 until a year and always introduced cereal at 4 months of age. They had cereal around 7pm at night and nice warm bath after that and then some small play time(not overstimulating playtime in the evening). Then nursed to sleep.... for the night. Maybe she is going through a growing sput and is requiring more food. Also put a lullaby music player in her crib. My 1 year old son will wake up in the night and turn it on himself and go right back to sleep. It is soft soothing music for her. All my kids had one in their cribs.

Good luck-T

First I would suggest addressing the relux issue in more depth. If she is on formula, try a different brand - if she is breast fed find what it is in your milk that is causing the gas and the reflux. She most likely has food sensitivities which not only cause gas and reflux but irritablility and sleep troubles. It's not always easy to do but you really need to find the underlying cause of he problem. Zantac is only going to mask the symptoms but it's not going to get rid of the underlying cause. Co-sleeping is a personal choice andunless you plan to do it long term then Idon't suggest starting it but as for rolling over on her if you co-sleep - as long as your not taking any kind of prescription med that will impair your natural instincts - moms have the same instinct not to roll over on our child as we have not to roll over and fall out of our own bed, lol. Good luck! I hope she feels better soon and that you both can get some sleep.

Oh K.! How sweet.

Motherhood does seem "harder than expected" the first time around. What I learned, as a first time mom, that "I" was the only one who made it hard. But I didn't realize I did this until I had another baby and it forced me to learn how to relax. Maybe you could learn from me and try to relax and enjoy motherhood more during your first baby :o)

Start listening to your "heart" on some of these issue's. You are the only one who knows what your little girl wants. Just try to "listen" to her. She is obviously needing you more. She almost doesn't sound satisfied when she goes to bed if she's still waking up so often. By now, waking up 2 times during the night would still be considered normal. Then just once a night.

Figure out "her routine". Write it down if you have to. She has a routine in her life somewhere, and you need to pinpoint it. After that, you might be able to figure out her meals, so she can have more food at night to sleep longer.

As far as co-sleeping, I did this. Mostly because I was exhausted like you with my first baby :o) I found it easier for both of us to sleep if we slept together. It worked, and was very bonding for the both of us. He's 11 now, and SOOOOO big! I miss my little snuggler. I'm glad I have those memories. My husband was very understanding and loved it, too :o)

Good Luck, K.! Don't forget....you're doing great!

:o) N.

Hi,
I had a similar issue with my second son. Since you mentioned it just started happening over the past few days I thought I'd respond. His issue was an ear infection. He would sleep fine in my arms or in our bed, but as soon as I'd lay him down in his crib he'd wake up screaming. Same thing at nap time. It made for some very difficult nights for both of us. I didn't realize what was happening, but it ended up that became his sign to me that his ears were bothering him and we needed to take a trip to our ped. He has had several ear infections since then and I know because his sleep habits change like that. I don't know if thats what it is in your case, but I thought I'd share my experience. Good luck! I totally understand sleep deprivation...and don't worry it will get better soon!

You really have to let her cry it out. Even at 5 mos she has got you pegged and knows how to get what she wants. She will continue to do this if you don't stop giving in to her now and it isn't cute when she is 5 screaming at a restaurant waiting to get the respnonse she is used to. For the gassy tummy give a small bottle of warm water with peppermint candy swirled in it. This helped my daughter go from screaming in pain with a really tight gassy tummy to falling asleep. Dont give up or in.

Your story was mine word for word...only when we got our hands on that book; our lives changed. Our baby was also on Zantac, colicky etc....the colic interferes with baby's ability to sooth/relax to sleep until you urge her to. We thought she still had such bad colic/gas that we did what you are doing until our baby was 7 months! What worked for us, was to have confidence that at 5 months old, her last feeding at bedtime is sufficient to hold her until morning. Next, we established a bedtime ritual so that baby can relax by anticipating the order of events. We gave baby a warm bath each night, as this relaxed her tummy and gave her a chance to expell some gas. We switched to my husband being the one to put her down, because with the nursing breast off the scene you will have better luck with baby's resistance/insistance. It was taking me 2 hours each night, to nurse our baby to sleep and make sure she was out enough to creep her into bed, and you are right, that once baby wakes, it's all about starting over....this will lead to baby not knowing how to get in bed and go to sleep on their own and too much to ask of mom! We also put her to bed earlier, as the book suggested, which was another part of the crazy symptoms that were acting exactly like colic/gas. Our baby was still gassy at times, but not the all out attacks we thought were the reflux, etc... just over tired baby who had fragmented sleep! We let her cry it out for 3 nights. After that, when my husband put her down, she knew the only other choice was to have him come back in which never lead to any milk. This helped her sleep through the night quickly. During the 3 "cry it out nights" my husband went in after about 20 minutes and didn't pick her up, but reassured her that it was time to go to sleep using a soothing (but not sympathetic) tone of voice, stretching the time between visits a bit. Eventually, her bedtime was 6pm! We had no idea that putting her down at 9 and the whole fragmented (crying for milk all night) was leading making it that much harder to get her to sleep. The bottom line, is having confidence that "teaching her to go to asleep on her own is the best gift a mother can give her even though it feels like HELL." and have you man help get it going so he can study in peace.

K., you are not alone, my daugter started the same thing, but at three months. She sleeps with my husband and I now and has since she was three months old. She also had the same medical issue with reflux. She is now 14-months old and has grown out of the reflux, but is still up every two to three hours nursing. I want to wean so bad, but do no know what to do. I tried putting her in her crib last night and she ended up puking from crying. She does not do this at the sitter, luckily. This morning I told my husband I am going to put her in her pack and play and let her cry it out at least that is easier to clean the puke out of. She started puking when I put in her crib around seven months old... and I am all talk I would never stick my little on in the pack and play and let her cry it out. I wish I had advise for you, but all I have is sympothy beucase I know exactly what you are going through. I day dream of the night I will be able to sleep.

Hi K. J,
I know many will not agree with this, but I went through this and tried everything and to no avail. My child was not a self soother. I finally just brought him to bed with me and we both got sleep and we were both happier. Just a few points to make you not worry about rolling over on her. Most baby deaths in beds come from drunken mothers or fathers sleeping on babies. Trust yourself to wake up, unless you are on medication for sleep, or some other medical problem that makes you unresponsive at night.
Co-sleeping has a lower rate of SIDS deaths. They think that the constant touch from mom being so close helps keep an immature respiratory and nervous system functioning well.Sometimes you have to do what works for everyone without traumatizing the baby and you! By the way that baby is a happy, well adjusted, 16 year old honor student who has slept well through the night since a toddler in his own bed! He is very independent! The deeper the roots the stronger the tree.

Hi K.,
Check out www.AskDrSears.com. He has a section on sleep issues and great explanations on why infants have different sleep patterns than adults. He also has a book, The Baby Sleep Boook. I find this site to be a great parenting resource. Hope it helps.

I had this exact same problem with my second child. Turned out that he was allergic to dairy products. Even though he was exclusively breast-feed, some of the larger dairy proteins that I ate went thru my milk and drove him crazy. He wouldn't slee anyplace lying down -- we slept for weeks in the recliner.

Try dropping ALL the dairy from your food for two weeks and see if that helps. Since it's been 12 years since I had to do this, I'm a bit hazy on the details but I do remember that the La Lache League helped me with this.

I tried co-sleeping, crying out and every single sleep book on the market. Only eliminating milk helped.

I.

My opinion is that a happy mom is a necessity If she needs to sleep with you through these tough times it may help both of you.I slept with my baby till he was four months, and never once rolled over on him. I think it creates a great bond! If she is in daycare maybe she is missing you.
You may also try to start introducing her to baby cereal to fill her belly a little more, and maybe she might sleep a little longer. Best wishes

hey K. :)

i would strongly suggest co-sleeping...it is what really saved our family and got me some sleep! i know your fears about rolling over, but that is just a fear. listen to your heart and give it a try. there are lots of cosleeping products out there to help like the bed pillow so kids don't roll off the bed, but all you really need is to make sure your mattress is low to the ground or on the ground. it's a definite change if you aren't used to that, but it will help ensure that if for some reason your child falls out of the bed at some point when she's into crawling or walking that she doesn't get hurt. check out the cosleeping reading through attachment parenting books. there is also an attachment parenting group of mount diablo that meets once a month that is great for support and information. hope this helps :)

ps - i read that sleep book too and it never worked!

Hi K.,
I have a 5 month old as well, and have dealt with some similar issues. My son is also on medication for acid reflux, though, luckily, it doesn't seem to be bothering his sleep much these days. Do you think she's uncomfortable from the reflux? Maybe the medication isn't working as well? I'm not sure if the dosage needs to be adjusted as they grow. If it is the reflux, have you tried having her sleep on an incline? I know that is often recommended. She may be unfortable lying flat. Since she is breastfed, has anything in your diet changed that might be making her more gassy and fussy? When my son was 6 weeks old, I cut out all dairy from my diet. It really helped the gas, and it decerased the spit up a little bit. The few times I've tried dairy since, he spits up a TON for a couple days. We're pretty sure he has a milk protein intolerance. I'm not sure if the reflux is causing her sleeping problems, but I recently found a great website and message board at infantreflux.org. It might be worth looking at if you think that may be the cause.
As far as sleep, we're going through the same thing. My son generally sleeps through the night, but nursing to sleep and putting him down asleep doesn't seem to be working well now. We're trying the cry-it-out approach from The Sleepeasy Solution. It's been almost a week and the results have been inconsistant. I wish I could offer more advice on that, but choose a method that you feel most comfortable with.
I totally agree--motherhood is challenging! When I get really frustrated and overwhelmed, I just try to remind myself how lucky I am to have a healthy, (generally) happy little boy, and that this stage will pass (and will be replaced by new challenges, I'm sure!) Good luck, and I hope you get some sleep soon!!
Jen

Being sleep deprived is horrible. I am so sorry. Since she is 5 months old, start feeding her solids like cereal and then introduce fruits one at a time. It will keep her stomach fuller and she will sleep longer. Trust me!!
Do anything to get her off the zantac also. If her body starts relying on a drug to do what her body is naturaly supposed to do, she may never get off of it. AND it is okay to mix a formula feeding in with the breastfeeding. Formula will also hold her longer and will probably aid in better digestion. It is worth a try.

Good luck!

+B+

Hve you tried Homeopathy? Santac will only make the situation worse. Its probably her diet and yours if your nursing her. You might try the no sugar (agave is a good substitute) no wheat (many gluten free products) It's very unlikely you would roll over on her ... we have a built-in radar for this. I know it's hard enough then to deal with this ... but I find when I started eating better along with my daughter ... we were not only healthier but more able to dael with the other issues (many tied in with diet) like sleep.

Just stick with it and try to stick to a schedule as well.
A word on the reflux and sleeping...when you lay her down the reflux is the worst, so try propping her bed up so that her head is raised when she sleeps. Also I had to cut out ALL dairy in my diet because of reflux and gas...it really helped!! It was hard to do and a pain most of the time, but worth it to keep breast feeding and have a happy baby!

You might try it, and remember to read all labels…you’ll be surprised how many things have dairy in them!!

Good luck!

Try changing your diet to dairy-free and wheat-free and you should have excellent results. Sometimes different children find it hard to digest those proteins in their bodies which makes them fussy and colicky and wakes them up at night. Try it for 2 weeks and if it works the results can be miraculous and you can finally get more sleep.

Hi K.,
Don't worry this is totally normal. I went through the same thing. I too could not handle the cry it out method and my daughter sleeps fine, it is not for everyone. The goal is to set a good nighttime routine and this will help. It could also be that she is having a difficult time adjusting to the daycare.
On her being gassy, have you tried to pinpoint what you are eating that is causing it? I used gripewater for daughter and it helped immensely with her gas!

good luck.

The problem is that you aren't letting her go to sleep. I know, it's hard, your child is crying--HARD-- and everything you know is telling you to go to her. But... if your child doesn't learn to fall asleep by herself, the problem will only get worse. I never learned to put my first child to sleep correctly and problems like this went on for 14 mo. until my sister gave me healthy sleep habits... my husband read it too. What happened was we agreed that a week of really trying it wouldn't hurt her... so we threw ourselves into it full force and yes, it took over an hour closer to two the first couple of nights, and then it started going decreasing and finally, she didn't cry at all... and started sleeping through the night for the first time at 15 mo!!!!!! Go outside while she's crying, remove yourself from it. Resist the temptation. We followed the book for our second child and he sleeps, at 2 1/2, far better than our daughter ever did. She's outgrowing her naps at 4 1/2, but she still naps 5 days a week and sleeps from about 7:30pm on. Our son goes to bed around 6:30 and sleeps until 6 most nights. The thing is that it is habit to comfort, but the child plays into that and manages to get any sort of attention from it. Your child isn't crying because she doesn't want to go to sleep, your child is crying because she knows that if she crys enough, mommy will come get me. So she cries because she knows then she can get love and attention instead of the sleep she needs. Good luck... it will be the best thing you ever did!

I suggest let her sleep with you that's what I did. I have two teenage girls who were both in our bed on and off until they were about 2 years old and they turned out fine. I tried with the first child to make her sleep in her own bed but we were all so miserable that I gave in and everyone was happy once we were all together. I am also a working mom. I think since we are gone all day they just miss us. Good luck Kate enjoy your little angel before you know it she will be talking to you about which college she wants to go to. It goes by fast.

Christine

K.,

I feel for you, you are not alone and you will survive! I have a 3 year old that had heavy reflux and lived on medications for 2 years because of the constant vomiting and gas. I had to feed her soy formula every 2 hours for 2 years. I strongly recommend for your survival that you co sleep so you can easily feed. We cannot always so what seems right. Only what is right for our child individual needs. I have the books too. But there kids were not sick.

I also recommend if you are not doing so to have her sleep slanted up. My Maddie slept in the infant car seat to keep her upright. Then I learned (at the hospital) how to tilt pillows and roll a blanket to keep her safe from sliding. She slept much better. Put a pillow then a boppy at her feet like a horseshoe so the sides are around her. Then you will not worry when she sleeps. I hope this is helpful:)

I am 46 now, and my daughter is a very healthy 3 year old and grew out of all of the reflux around 2 and I am as happy as can be!

If you don't swaddle your baby before putting her to bed you need to start. My mom taught me to do this with my babies and she raised a lot of kids. I have since cared for many babies and have never had a problem for long when using this method. It stops their little arms from flinging around and startling them. They are used to being in a very tight space while in utero and this big world doesn't seem to safe and secure if they are able to flail around. They may struggle against it at first but will sleep soundly for much longer time once they fall asleep.

My 13 month old started hating his crib at 5 months too (about the time I went back to work--coincidence?). Up until then he slept better in the bassinet/crib. We were happy to co-sleep, so that's what we did. It was just easier for everyone, and I got much better sleep. I barely wake up when he does, and he barely wakes up too. Anyway, that's my experience.

HI K.,
I don't have much expirence with the reflux, but I have one idea. Maybe it is the position of laying flat that hurts her. Try putting her down in her car seat or elevating the head of the crib. I have heard and read that being reclined is more comfortable. Best wishes.

at 5 months they start testing the waters. the know more of what they want. and they will have it if they can. i loved my babies in their bed but somehow they always ended up in mine at some point in time.. not always.. but often. and my four year old still sneaks in. the reflux and colick is so hard to contend with. just keep doing your usual routine. maybe she's changing her sleep patterns, taking out a nap... sleeping less during the day might help.

I question if her gas symptom is more than swallowing air. Could she be allergic to something you are eating that is in your breast milk? Like wheat or dairy? These will produce gas symptoms and could contribute to her being colicky. This should be brought up to your physician, he can do a simple blood test on her to see the sensitivities.
As for co-sleeping, my daughter was with me til she was 14months when she stopped breastfeeding and it worked out good. I never feared rolling over onto her.
Good luck.

I know you said you wont let her cry it out but my advice to you is to let her cry it out. It will take three days of consistently letting her cry it out at every nap and at bedtime. Also, put her to bed awake and let her cry and then if she wakes up in the middle of the night let her cry herself back to sleep.

She may be more gassy for a few days but the end result will be that she is less gassy because she will have better sleeping and eating patterns. One of the best things you can do for a gassy baby is to Not feed them directly before putting them to bed. Switch it up to this order: Eating, awake time, then sleeping.

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but I hope at least some of it was helpful.

Best wishes!

Hi! Like you, I had anxiety about co-sleeping with my daughter, so we bought an Arm's Reach co-sleeper that goes up right next to the bed. Then, she refused to sleep there! So, we ended up co-sleeping in bed together. She slept so well and I got so much more sleep that it was unbelievable. I worried about myself or my husband rolling over on her at first, but discovered very quickly that my "mommy sense" always knew right where she was and I'd wake up with my arms curled protectively around her. I was nursing, too, and I would move her from one side of me to the other so it would be more comfortable to nurse. (We still had the co-sleeper up next to the bed, so I didn't worry that she might roll off the bed.) Anyway, my advice is that perhaps you should try co-sleeping before you write it off. I found that most of the other moms I met did co-sleeping for some amount of time. We co-slept exclusively for the first 12 months and now have begun transitioning her to her crib for the first part of the night (she's 13-1/2 months now). When she wakes up from the crib, I take her into bed and nurse her and she stays with us until morning.8

There's a lot of great advice here already so I'll be brief.

Yes to the propping her up to sleep. With a wedge, or even something under the feet of the head of the crib.

We used Gripe Water to great results with gassiness.

Our girl slept great till about the same time and then deterioriated until about 7mo when she was just up every hour. We brought the crib into our room, removed the drop side, and made the mattress as equal to the level of our bed as we could. This way she still has her own space, and I can choose to let her roll into me or gently move her back onto her crib. This helped me get more sleep, as I didn't have to get up and go into another room and I could nurse laying down. I was nervous nursing her in the middle of the bed so I just learned to nurse from either side always facing the same direction. We did this for about four months until I felt like something additional needed to happen - it was better, but honestly I still wasn't sleeping much and I didn't feel like she really could be either. We tried some approaches in The No Cry Sleep Solution and honestly I think it made things worse.

In the end, at 11 months my partner took on the job of putting her to sleep and managing the first few wakings - so she had to learn how to fall asleep without nursing. There was some crying, to be fair, but it's crying with a parent right there to soothe and offer comfort at the same time. It didn't take her long to learn and after about 10 days I was able to put her down the same way! No she sleeps from about 8pm to about 4am, then we nurse a couple of times until she finally wakes up around 7.

I didn't want to nurse her down for naps either at this point, so for a couple of months she's only napped in her stroller or in the car. We just started using the same bedtime routine for naps and only a couple of days into she's getting the point. Today I finally got in a badly needed nap of my own finally!

Best of luck to you and yours~

Hi K.,
I agree that motherhood is harder than I expected too! As for sleeping in her crib, what is her schedule like? My daughter started doing the same thing when she wasn't getting enough quality sleep. I'm glad you have read that book, it has been my "bible" on helping my daughter to sleep better. I never really used the cry it out method with her as I couldn't stand it, and used the modified cry it out instead. It might help to put her in bed when she is drowsy but awake. Our pediatrician told me to start at that age but I was already doing it with great success. Do you think she has become overtired? Try putting her to bed extra early for a few days if she isn't well rested. I had great success with the Graduated Extinction Dr. Weissbluth talks about though you have to be consistent. Also, make sure you are doing the same soothing method for her naps as they are at daycare.

Something to think about, when Paige started having this problem at daycare, I switched daycares because I found out that the provider wasn't following my instructions on nap schedules and she wasn't putting her in a darkened room alone to sleep so my daughter was becoming more and more overtired. Once I moved her to a smaller daycare with a woman who had her own children on the same schedule it got better.

As for her colic, I have heard the infant probiotics help and you can take them too. I wish I would have read this when Paige was a newborn as she had severe colic and ended up sleeping with/on me until in subsided.

Sincerely,
L.