My 9 Month Old Will Not Sleep

A great baby sleep book is "The no-cry sleep solution" By elizabeth pantley. It's how I solved all my little guys's sleep issues. And I agree, also, about possible reflux. And can you nurse lying down? That's what I did, so you can sorta drift off as they nurse. (we co-slept, this may be harder if you don't)

Whatever you do....DON'T JUST LET HIM CRY! He needs to know he can depend on you for care when he needs it! Do not teach him his cries are unimportant to you!
Oh....and I REALLY disagree with the "it's time for formula and rice cereal" That's BS. Neither formula nor cereal will help him sleep! That is a ridiculous old wives tale. Keeo feeding that baby breastmilk! That's all he needs!!

If he was just waking to eat I wouldn't be concerned but when you say he never wakes happy and is crying even after eating I would think that he is in pain. Have you introduced any new foods late? I'm thinking he is probably sensitive to something you are giving him and it's either giving him really bad gas or causing reflux. I would suggest removing all solids from his diet (breast milk alone is plenty for him at this age so don't worry about him not eating enough) and seeing if his temperament get better (this could take a couple weeks as it takes time for the body to rid itself of all traces of the food). If it does improve then you can slowly start reintroducing solids one at a time (no blends) and wait about a week before introducing something else to make sure he isn't reacting to the new item he is eating.

call Davis Ehrler with the three day sleep solution. She is an expert at this kind of stuff. www.3daysleep.com She can help with both problems.

Put a fan in the room with your older son to drown out your younger son's crying...and yes, let that baby cry. He is so overtired he can't sleep at this point. You have to let him learn to put himself back to sleep. Make sure you are not putting him to bed too late or he will cry more. Put him to bed around 6pm and let him put himself to sleep, he will cry but that is because he is exhausted and frustrated, not because he is sad or scared or lonely. Every time he wakes up give him at least 1 hour to put himself back to sleep. If he cries longer than an hour, check on him and remedy any issues (dirty diaper etc) and put him back in his crib to put himself to sleep. Don't get him up for the day unitl 6 am. Try this for three nights and things should get way better. I went through this with my first son. He woke every 45 min all night long and did not take restful naps. After sleep training he slept 10 hours straight (he would sleep from 6-4 and always wake at 4 until a year old or so...I think it was bad habits we never were able to break...and then back to sleep after I peaked in and said, "go back to sleep" until 6am) And when his nights improved so did his naps. Make sure he isn't getting overtired during the day either (he shouldn't be awake longer than three hours at his age) and put him to bed awake to settle himself. Nights will organize faster than naps so be patient, but they should get longer. Also, if he wakes after 30-45 minutes during a nap leave him in there for 15 more minutes to see if he will put himself back to sleep. Sometimes for a few days they can't crossover during the sleep cycle easily and cry some to go back to sleep. He wakes up miserable because he is still exhausted. Sleep training is draining but the results are worth it...you all need your rest. I remember how hard it is. Do it for your family.

I also want to reassure you that letting him cry is not abandoning him and he will not feel let down by you or that he cannot depend on you. He will remain a very secure baby that will be rested instead of grumpy and tired. A baby that isn't getting enough sleep is a big deal. If he wasn't eating that would be an emergency...but if he isn't sleeping we say he is just growing or clingy or teething or something...but he needs to sleep and you have to help teach him. Not all babies are good self soothers, I've had two of them. You are being a good mom to help him learn and letting him cry is not harmful. Like I said...just try it for three days. If you have any questions email me at ____@____.com. I will be happy to talk to you if you like. We can even talk on the phone if you prefer.

Make sure he's not too hot or cold. Sometimes it's the simplest things that get past us. Good luck, I know how awful sleep deprivation can be!

Ugh. You all must be exhausted. If he's happy and fit during the day, I doubt he's hungry at night. Sounds like separation anxiety.

I have 2 kids as well. My 9 mos old started doing that about 5 weeks ago. She was waking screaming for me (even if my husband went to get her which he would because he couldn't handle her crying) and insist on nursing to fall asleep. She didn't do this during the day. She did it because she wanted to be around me, so as soon as hubby left town for business last weekend, I started sleep training her. I used the Ferber* method and luckily it's been going well. She goes down at 7:20pm (the first night was at 8pm) and sleeps 12 1/2 hrs at night; I do hear her wake but she goes back down immediately on her own. On average, it takes most kids 3-4 days and at most, about a week. She does still cry for a minute like she's mad when I put her down and when I go in to get her in the morning. But she's been perfectly happy during the day and even better temperamentally too. Since they share a room, I let my clingy 3 yr old, who's a terrible sleeper, sleep in my room this week. I prepared him by telling him we would be teaching HIS little baby to sleep this week and that she would cry a lot. To minimize disturbance, I put on white noise and close the door to her room and to mine. When I sleep trained him, I had to just let him cry it out and he was perfectly happy in the morning and throughout the day too. And I tried everything with him. But I still have to sit with him for him to fall asleep. I will train him yet again Super Nanny** style next.

Some will say that to let your child cry is cruel. But your child can't talk yet, so there's no other way to express stress, tiredness, or any other displeasure. If you've had a full day of activity and stimulation, don't you just want to cry too? Also, to tend to every need of your child, he'll never learn to cope. There's a lot of mamas out there who will disagree with me, but no one ever let my older one cry or let me let him cry, and now he's super clingy and cries every time he is displeased.

No, I'm not heartless. I will say that this is the third time I've tried to sleep train her since August. Prior to that, she was an angelic sleeper, then she became a horrible sleeper. She really wasn't ready (nor was hubby). She screamed for hours then was super clingy the next day. So, it's been a good 5 months of no sleep for me.

*Ferber isn't letting them cry it out all alone. You put them down sleepy but awake. They do cry, but you do check in on them, without picking them up, at successively longer intervals. So, first you wait 1 minute, then you go in and tell them it's okay and you love them. Then you wait 3 min, then 5, then 7, then 10, then every 15 min. from then on.

**Super Nanny goes something like this... sit next to them but with your back to them, no communication. If your child gets out of bed and comes to you, you put them back in bed with no talking. Every few minutes, you move your stool a little further away until you are out the door. The next night you sit just a little further away and keep moving away. Eventually, you are out the door.

Every child is different. Every parent is different. Good luck to you finding what works for you.

Are you producing enough milk?
Usually, babies are satisfied, after a feeding. Not screaming.
So to me.... him screaming AFTER a feeding...means, he may NOT be getting enough intake or not enough milk coming out.....
Most babies are very satisfied after feedings and even fall asleep.
OR maybe burp him.... to get his gas out.

9 months old is also a Growth-Spurt time... so yes, hunger increases as well as feeding frequency and increasing amounts.
Intake... has to keep up with, the baby.

ALSO babies do what is called "Cluster Feeding"... which means, a baby will even NEED to feed even every single hour. This is normal and it also serves to increase the milk production in your breasts... to keep pace with your baby.

IF a baby does not get enough intake, or does not latch on properly.... or if you do not produce enough milk... this ALL equates to a
1) hungry baby
2) hungry baby all the time
3) hungry baby day and night
4) hungry baby that is not satisfied after feedings. Or maybe he has gas.

This happened to many of my friends. Once they increase their milk or they got their baby to latch on properly... THEN the baby WAS getting adequate intake... day and night, and then their baby was... satisfied and happier and slept better.

Your baby sounds, hungry.
Or teething... and often times... it is both.

all the best,
Susan

Have you explored the possibility of reflux? If he is screaming after feedings it could be reflux. And it could be bothering him at night so he wakes, wants to be comforted so he nurses but is still in pain. I would discuss with his doc and try a sleep wedge like this:

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2401848

It was a life-saver with both my kids. Great for mild reflux, great when they have a head cold.

I hope that you know better than to put cereal in a bottle unless it's under the direction and supervision of your pediatrician to treat severe reflux.

Letting him cry and scream won't address what the problem is so you are right to go with your gut and avoid that route. I just *love* how people always spout that off as the first thing-"well, you just have to let them cry" Nonsense! There is absolutely no reason to leave a baby to cry and expect them to learn how to sleep.

And don't let anyone make you feel bad because he isn't sleeping thru the night. Many, many breastfed babies don't sleep thru the night till they are over a year old and fully weaned. Perfectly normal.

But your little man has something going on based on the symptoms he is exhibiting. I would make an appt with the pediatrician and have his ears checked, discuss the possibility of reflux, possible food allergies (look at what he eats or what you may have started eating in the last couple of months) as an allergy can develop at any time.

My son did this to me, but it was a little later around 13 months and it pretty much was what precipitated me calling it day on breastfeeding. I couldn't deal with him waking up all the time to nurse when he wasn't remotely hungry...he just wanted the comfort. I tried a pacifier but that didn't work. Once I cut him off at night, the constant wake ups stoppped...maybe cut him off at night and just nurse during the day? It was a few awful nights, but after about a week of just saying no, it was amazing!

-M

he could be teething, or he must be gassy, stomach ache..( you could try some baby orajel for his gums and gripe water for his tummy, check with his doctor first too) if he is sleeping in his crib, make sure that his mattress is comfortable for him, it's not too hot or cold in his room. My son would usually get up whenever he gets a new tooth coming in or if we happen to put a blanket on him. Also have you tried any white noises, like keeping the bathroom fan on or keeping a humidifier running in his room (and the air is not so dry), so there's some noise. Give him a bottle before he goes to bed, and setup a bedtime routine. hope this helps.

Sorry this is so stressful on everyone. Do you know if he is getting enough food? Do you know if his digestion is working ok? Maybe something he is eating is upsetting his stomach (something you are eating?). Have you asked the doctor? Just keep trying different things... If you were to put him in bed with you - would he sleep? Even if that isn't what you want to do long term - it might tell you if he just needs to be close to you - if if something is really wrong. 6-8 times a night is quite a bit... Since the fits last for hours I think it's something hurting him???

Hate to say it but by 9 months he may be ready for formula and a little rice in a bottle at night. Mine little girl is almost 9 months and during the 7 month regression we added a formula bottle to the late night feedings and she has been pretty consistent with a 8:30pm bed time (sometimes up for a comfort rock for 10min at 10:30pm) 3am nurse and 6am bottle . Also try a gas reducing nipple like Breastfed by First-years and swaddling him in a tee shirt that smells like you or your husband for comforting at night. Good Luck!

I agree with DM that I would be concerned he was in pain. I would talk with your doctor about this behavior.

It's growth spurt time... so that explains the needing to eat more. It's a good thing, because this is how your body will up production to feed your growing infant. It's probably teething time too... and I bet your son would REALLY prefer sleeping with Mommy. If you are not opposed to co-sleeping (baby in same room) or bed-sharing (baby in same bed) - this may be a great time to implement that so everyone can get sleep.

What is he eating beside breastmilk? Does he seem to be gassy? At nine months he should be sleeping through the night. If he is gassy causing him to wake up, it may be something he is eating. If your breatfeeding it can be something your eating that is causing him stomach problems. You said this has been going on for 2 months, try to think what changed in his life 2 months ago that could be causing the problem. Prior to this was he sleeping mostly through the night and was he a happier child. There maybe something bothering him. If you can't figure out what is causing this change maybe it is a health problem and he needs to see the doctor. But don't listen to those people who said let him cry. A baby has to believe that their parents will help them and if you ignore them that can effect them.