Ok moms, I need advice. My husband and I work full time and my kids go to daycare full time. We all get up at 5am and leave at 5:45am each morning. My daughter is almost 5 and my son is 2 1/2. My son goes to bed between 6:30 and 7pm. So, he's getting 10hrs of sleep each night. Well...for the last week, he's been waking up at like 3:45am to potty (he's fully potty trained using the adult toilet). Then, he'll get out of his bed and come in our room saying "wake up" every 5-15 minutes until morning. At first, I decided to keep him up an extra half hour to hour in the evening. Well, THAT doesn't work b/c he's obviously exhausted and falls asleep on the couch at his own will at like 6:30. What do I do? How can I make him understand that he can go potty and then hop back in his bed b/c everyone is still sleeping until morning time? Should I try a bribe of some sort? I don't feel right trying to keep him up when he's literally falling asleep sitting up b/c he's only 2....he needs his sleep. I'm just at a loss. My daughter never did this.
Try getting him an alarm clock that plays music.
Tell him it is not time to wake up until he hears the music.
Then the decision is not up to you, it is up to the clock.
P
Hi M.,
My suggestion would be to monitor his liquid intake at night and not let him have much after a certain time. Then before you go to bed, just pick him up in his sleep and take him to the bathroom - then maybe he won't need to go in the middle of the night.
B.
I just saw in the parents magazine a light you can get and program it to glow like a moon when your child should be sleeping and then glow like a sun when he can be awake. sounds like it could help if he doesn't know numbers yet.
I would definitely try a bribe and other than that, I would put him back to bed and maybe stay there a minute until he falls back to sleep. I would also tell him that night and also repeat the next day several times and at bed time...."if you get up and have to go potty, mommy will tuck you back in but if you get up again, mommy will have to put a lock on your door" or whatever you want to say to give him a reason to stay in bed. We threatened the doorknob locks and would show our son right before bed, we would put it on and say, "come and see that you cannot open this door..do you want to be locked in or are you a big boy and can go back to sleep and not wake mommy and daddy?" It only took about 3 nights and one night of us actually putting the doorknob lock on the door. He cried but it helped and he never did it again. It is a plastic cover that goes over the doorknob that you have to pinch the sides at the same time to open it. We have one on our hall closet w/ our meds in it. You will have to remind several times before bed and then when he does it in the middle of the night. I would consider standing or sitting on his bed until he falls back to sleep. You could threaten putting him back into a crib so he can't get out....
sorry, hopefully you will get better advice. W.
I think you should keep him up longer. Play with him whatever 6:30pm is just too early for him to go to bed. He doesn't need 10 hours sleep each night.
Hi M., we have similar issue with our 3 y.o. Firstly it's great news that your 2 y.o. son is fully potty trained, that is quite an accomplishment. I never took my kids out of their crib, which allows them to get up at will, as early as you have, but that's another post... lol. I would look at your son's nap schedule at day care (if he has one). I would imagine that daycare could let them sleep until they wake up, which could be affecting his nighttime needs. The 6:30 bedtime sounds reasonable with a 5am wakeup, but if it persists, I'd back it up to 7 or 730 if he can stay awake.
My daughter will usually wake up at least once a night yelling that she needs to go potty. She won't even get out of her toddler bed or open the door, but just yells that 'need to go potty'. One thing I've learned is never turn on the lights if you can help it. It completely wakes them up. Help them do everything because the more active they have to be the more they'll wake up. I'll say stuff like 'back to bed, it's the middle of the night' and I'll lead her back and tuck her in just like I did hours ago at bedtime. Needs to stay as dark as possible to remind them that it's not time to get up. If he continues to get up, I would just be persistent in tucking him back in every time he walks back in there. Eventually he'll probably get the message. Good luck, I know this is hard when everyone has to get up at 5am!
A friend of mine, a pediatrician's wife, put a digital clock in her twins' room and taught them not to come out until the first number was 7. I tell my 2 & 5 year old not to come out unless the sun is up or I come in to wake them. Otherwise, it's still the middle of the night. Of course, they know it's ok to go into the bathroom. Hope one of these tricks helps you too.
I recommend this book to nearly all moms that write in with sleep problems in their babies/children: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. I got my copy on amazon.com. It helps so much, starting with advice on infants all the way up through teen years. Aside from the book, one piece of advice I'll offer is to put him to bed earlier instead of later. Parents often think that a later bedtime will help a child sleep better or longer, but actually the opposite is true. If a child (or baby) is sleep-deprived, then the body produces stimulant hormones to combat the sleepiness and the child actally becomes overstimulated, which then causes more restless or not long enough sleep. It's a cumulative problem. A child can develop a sleep-deficit slowly over time. 5am is awfully early for such a young child, or any aged-child, to get up. I understand you may not have a choice in regards to the wakeup time, so you'll have to control the bedtime(make it earlier). A child his age may still need 12 hours of sleep! Good luck! Get the book--it elborates and explains things far better than I can!
Take him back to his bed and say "It's time to be asleep." Keep doing this as long as it takes.
I would say to start making his bedtime later like you are doing BUT doing it slowly. Begin with 15 minutes later at a time. Once he is able to stay up that extra 15 minutes with ease then add an extra 15. Do that until you have him at the allotted time. He is just going through a sleep stage and not sure what to do during it. If you try to drastically change his sleep pattern all at once it will agitate him. So do it subtly. God Bless~
Children can often regress in night time dryness (or in this case, need to go potty) up until about age 6 or 7. This may be a "stage" for him.
Again, make sure you cut off liquids a couple of hours before bedtime. If by chance he is getting caffeine or is drinking tea (a natural diuretic) stop, - but I am sure you are probably not giving these things to a child so young.
Keep reinforcing that it is still night time and that everyone is still asleep. That mommy and daddy need their sleep. Try telling him to just lie in his bed and "rest" until it is time to get up. My kids "fell" for this and usually fell back asleep.
Definitely do not reward him with conversation, toys, or your "playful" presence. Try not to turn on any lights more than a small night light. Strong lighting is a cue to your body to wake up.
Good luck, and as they say "this too shall pass".
I wouldn't "bribe", per se, but maybe use positive reinforcement. "Catch" him staying in his room and reward him - with something small, like he gets to pick out breakfast or wear a sticker for the day. Make sure he is going potty RIGHT before he goes to bed and no fluids for at least an hour before bed. That might be hard since he goes to bed so early. My son always went to bed at 8-830 and got up at 6:00am, so he had a couple hours between dinner and bedtime. If your son gets up, put him back in bed and tell him what the consequence will be if he does it again. "If you leave your room again before it is time to wake up, then I'm taking away your nightlight" or whatever. Then, if he does it again, follow through. My son spent two nights without his nightlight before he decided it wasnt worth it to leave his room at night.
If he has a little potty, move it in his room at night. If not, then just make sure he goes before bed and understands that if he gets up he has to go right back to bed.
good luck!
M., I think that if your 2 yr old wakes up like that again, get up with him, and walk him to the potty. When he is finished, walk back with him to his bed and tuck him in. Tell him to go back to sleep, and that mommy is going back to sleep too.
I can't take credit for this idea because I saw it on Supernanny but I tried it and it worked. My 2 1/2 year old son wakes up a lot in the middle of the night but when he was in his crib, he used to just go back to sleep but after he moved to a toddler bed, he started getting up and leaving his room to get me up.
When he gets up and leaves his room, I just take him back to bed, tuck him in and leave. I don't speak to him or interact with him because he wants me to interact with him. I just lead him by hand back to bed and leave- no smiling, no talking, no lullaby, straight back into bed and I leave. Eventually he gave up on trying to wake me because it's not rewarding for him. Although I'm a light sleeper and I wake up anyway and watch him on the video monitor. Now if he wakes up or falls out of bed (he's a very active sleeper) he just gets back into bed, tucks himself and his teddy bear in, kisses his teddy and goes back to sleep. I did also explain to my son that if the sun wasn't up, then he still has to stay in bed because it's not morning yet. I remind him every night when I tuck him in that I love him and will see him in the morning.
Anyway, I hope this works for you. That's great that he's waking up to use the potty and eventually he will learn how to go back to bed after going potty. Great job potty training! Good luck.
Hi There,
I know you all need your sleep but I guess I would just be thrilled that you son at 2 can get up at night and use the potty all himself. Good for him. My daughter is 3 and is just really starting to get the whole potty thing. Maybe he is looking for you to cheer for him for his big acomplishment. Did he just become fully potty trained? I would just put him back in his own bed after he does that and let him know it is still "night night" time and then hopefully he will get it himself and be able to get himself back to sleep in his own bed. Maybe some soothing classical music with the lights out? I hope this helps. Good luck to you!
.
I agree with holding the fluids before bedtime.
I would go with a sticker chart for positive reinforcement. You tell him the behavior that you want. Any night that he wakes you up after going potty, he does not get a sticker. When he has earned 5 stickers, surprise him with a treat. Then continue giving him a treat every five! Etc.
You might have to come up with a sticker chart for your daughter at the same time with a different behavior, similar reward.
Good luck!
M.,
Let me preface my comments by saying that I don't have any experience with this, but I have a little bit of a medical background, and I just feel strongly about this. I have read all of the responses thus far and I must say that I disagree with keeping your child up later. I would definitely consult with the pediatrician to see how much sleep a 2 year old requires, because 10 hours sounds about right. I would also consult about the restriction of fluids. I think an hour before bed time is reasonable, but again, not 100% sure. I do agree with the thoughts about having a routine and sticking with it, i.e., when he comes to your room, take him back to his without any fanfare and just tuck him in and tell him you'll see him when the sun comes up. To bribe or not, I don't know, what ever works. the sticker idea sounds pretty good with some positive reinforcement. My son is 1 1/2, so I 'll be reading to see how things turn out for future reference. Good luck.
K. C.
I'm not sure how old your daughter was when she was potty trained, but you may have just started too early. 3 1/2 is more typical for a boy (according to my doctor and other things I have read). Withholding liquids is not the answer (would you like to not have anything to drink the last couple of hours before you go to sleep?) Then he'll wake up in the middle of the night for water. LOL. His body is just too small to stay dry for that long. He will have to go to the bathroom during the night for probably another year or so. So, the key is to get him to understand that darkness means bedtime. Maybe if you put a nightlight in the bathroom that's bright enough for him to go potty so he doesn't have to turn the light on. However, for all the complexities of going potty, I can't imagine it not waking him up fully. Obviously he needs the sleep, he's just too awake to go back to sleep at that point. Maybe if you teach him a lullaby to sing to himself or a teddybear, that could help. Good luck.
