Hi ladies! I'm hoping to find some advice or encouragement on an issue I'm having with my 3 yr old son. He's driving me and my husband crazy because he keeps waking up at 4-5 am and then he wakes his 2 yr old brother (they share a room) up as well. It's not even daylight out and he's talking, laughing, and running up and down the hallway. I have a baby gate at the end of the hall so he can use the bathroom and come into my bedroom. He can also go to the playroom but he never uses that option even though I explain to him every night before bed that if he can't go back to sleep that he should NOT wake his brother but go play quietly until it's time to get up which is closer to 6:30a. Every morning, he wakes his brother and then comes to wake me or my husband asking for food or to watch a tv show!
He eats well at dinnertime which is at about 6:30p and on the few occasions that I have given in and let him have a snack at 4am, he didn't eat it so I don't think he's actually hungry. Our bedtime routine is dinner, then a nice warm shower, read a bedtime story, and I sing them a lullaby before we tuck them in at about 7:30p. I think that's a pretty reasonable bedtime especially since the boys play hard all day long and they refuse naps so they have got to be tired, right? Also, I know this is just a general guideline, but according to BabyCenter, a 3 yr old should still be sleeping about 12 hrs in a 24 hr period and he's only getting about 8. Any ideas?
** One of the responses asked a good question-- what do I do when he wakes everyone up? I have tried a several different things. I usually walk him back to bed, tuck him back in and explain to him that he's being rude and not nice when he wakes everyone up and that I will come to get him when it is time to get up. I have tried having him face a corner for 5 minutes but that option is tough because then I have to stay up to keep him there and he just goes back to making noise when the time out is over. I have tried taking away tv time, taking away his favorite stuffed animal, threatening spanks. He just doesn't seem to respond to any of these punishments and most times when I punish him, he's a drama queen so he starts bawling and that of course is louder than the original annoyance of him being awake and running around. It's just a very frustrating situation and I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. Suggestions so far are to push his bedtime back a little so I will definitely try that but any other ideas would also be wonderful. :)
Thank you for all of the responses. It's good to know that I'm not the only one with this problem. I've tried pushing back bedtime by half and hour and also have been taking the boys to the park and having them run races to tire them out. They love it and they get out a lot more energy than just in the backyard, but unfortunately it still hasn't helped much with the early waking. The past several nights, I've made an even more specific effort to get extra calories into my son before bed and also getting him extra physical activity but he still keeps getting up at 5am and waking up his little brother. I have explained that wake-up time is when the sun wakes up and until that happens that he needs to either play quietly or lay quietly in his bed even if he doesn't want to sleep anymore. I have also tried to explain the numbers on the digital clock. I tell him that if the first number isn't a 6, then he has to be quiet. I've gotten room darkening drapes, made sure that his nightlight isn't too bright, make sure that he's dressed comfortably so he doesn't get too hot or cold at night etc. Everything I can think of. I think he's just an early riser. Some people are that way and I guess we're just going to have to figure out a way to work with it. Thank you for listening. :)
My 3.5 year old daughter started waking everyone up at 3 or 4am when her baby sister had just started sleeping through the night! Talk about frustrating!!! We bought her a digital alarm clock, taught her what a 7 looks like, and put a piece of masking tape under where the 7 would be at 7am. We then told her that she was not allowed out of bed before 7am unless she needed to go potty. This worked miracles for us. Best of luck to you.
Try www.oneweekparentingmiracle.org for discipline ideas. This site has helped me out a lot with my two toddlers and I highly recommend it. Also, maybe he isn't getting enough exercise? I took a Human Development class last summer and was somewhat surprised to learn that sometimes kids sleep problems come from a lack of playtime. It's recommended that they have 2 hours of physical run around time each day. Hope this helps a little, and good luck!
What a frustrating problem to have! A lot of people have had success with a night light that is a moon when it's time to sleep and turns to a sun when it's time to get up. You set the time. I have two on order myself. www.goodnitelite.com. Good Luck!
For my 3 year old, we have a rule that if the sun is not awake, then we should not be awake. It is a concept that she can understand, and is a limit that is beyond Mom and Dad's control. (She cannot argue that it is not fair... etc.. She knows we do not control the sun. :) ) Gentle reminders, as we tuck her back into bed.
I try to keep in mind what it feels like from her perspective. Mom's perspective is that I WANT TO SLEEP, WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME?. (At least that is my view when I get awakened in the wee hours of the morning.) Kid's perspective is 'I woke up, who should I go play with?'.
It is hard sometimes to be nice in those wee hours, but I try to think about what would help me go back to sleep. If someone got mad at me in the night, then I would likely have problems sleeping....
Same reminder every time, and the same consequence... And they will get the idea. :)
Oh, the other rule that we state is that you don't HAVE to sleep, just lay on your bed and rest - because it helps you grow - seems to help.
I have a 2 year old that goes to bed at 7:30 also. If I push his bedtime back he gets up even earlier, just so you know. I have trained over time, that he has to stay in his bed until it is light out. For some reason if I told him he had to wait until "I got him", he didn't understand the time, but having to stay until it was "light out in his room" works? Just a little suggestion, but maybe it will help.
My 3 year old has always been an early riser. We set a rule that he may NOT get out of bed before 6am. When he's going through an early phase, we set the alarm in his bedroom to start nature sounds when he's allowed to get up. He's very responsive to this, and to rewards (stickers). He also has a cup of water in his room, and he knows to call us (but not get out of bed) if he needs to pee.
The other thing we did is separate our kids (we also have a 2 year old). If you have to (don't have a 3rd bedroom), bring your 2-year-old into your room for a few weeks while you fix the problem. Put the gate on your 3-year old's room, or use a doorknob childproof thingie, so he learns that he must stay in his room until you come and get him.
So, those mornings my son comes running into my bedroom at 5? I get up, walk him back to his room, put him back in the bed, and tell him "it's the middle of the night so it's not time to get up yet. I will come and get you when it's time to get up." And I walk out. Sometimes he cries. So my daughter has a fan running in her room. Because in my opinion, there's nothing worse than the whole house being up at 5am. Good luck!
Feed him a nutrient and calorie dense snack just before you put him to bed each night. My almost 2 year old gets up at 3 or 4 am if he misses his snack before bed. He's famished! Little bodies may have high metabolisms and need a little extra (especially boys). Almost every time after I feed my son he drifts off back to sleep for at least a couple hours. It's normal for him not to nap at this age. Adjusting bedtime may help a little too. We have an 8pm bedtime for our kids. Parenting is mostly trial and error so I wish you the best. R. --nurse midwife mom now home with 3.
Unfortunately, I don't have any ideas as I have been going through a similar thing with my 2.5 year old. She's back to sleeping in until 6am (but that is with the time change!).
For the past month or so, she will get up around 5am (as does her 7 month old baby brother) so we start out day EARLY!!
I do not know how to get him to quiet down but what I do with my daughter is once someone is asleep in their room (she and baby brother share a room and he goes to sleep an hour before she does) then we have to use our 'whisper voice' when we enter the room. She knows that now and will whisper once we get in there. However, he's only 7 months old so even her talking doesn't really rouse him.
I would try to get him as soon as you hear him waking up in the morning and tell him he has two options - cartoons or go into the play room.
I have read some people give their kids a clock with only the hour showing and put a piece of paper next to it with the hour their child can 'get up' - like 7, but when two share a room, I do not think that is possible.
My daughter goes to bed at 8 pm and gets up between 5-6 am each morning. She does nap for about an hour Mon-Fri but never on the weekends. I would suggest moving his bedtime back 1/2 hour to see if that makes a difference.
Other than that, go to bed early yourself and remember that this is just a small timeframe in their childhood and before you know it, they will be sleeping in on the weekends and you will have to wake them for lunch (ahhh doesn't that sound dreamy? LOL).
Our 2.5 year old sometimes wakes early like that in spurts. When he does he knows that he may NOT come out of his room. He must stay in his room and play until mama or daddy come to let him out. At 3 years I would maybe consider moving the bed time to 8:00 or 8:30. We put our boys down at 8 and they are 2.5 and 7 months. The 2.5 yr old will sleep till 7 or so and the baby sleeps till 11 and is up for a bottle and then sleeps the remainder of the night till 7 am
He might only need 8 hours.....every kid is different. Try keeping him up a little longer at night or about an hour before bed, do exercises. I know it sounds dumb, but it worked for me. Nothing too hyper, maybe jumping jacks, some stretching, fun type of exercising....just enough to take a bit more energy out of him.
Sounds like you need a room for him by himself so he can have a book to "read" or something else for him to do. You should also let him know you are not happy he has woken you and everyone else up. What do you do about that? You need to make him understand that this behavior is not acceptable at this time in the morning. So think about what kind of punishment he can get.......if you have to have everyone up in the house for a couple of days because he's mad and crying, then you might need to do that.........he will get the idea pretty quick if you are consistent.
Good luck.
Tell him he has to play quiet on his bed until the sun is up. Maybe give him choices, look at books, etc. Some kids need more sleep than others though. I would probably experiment with getting him into bed around 8 - 8:30 for a while to see if that helps.
Hi,
Baby books or Baby Centers will give you a general guideline, but as we know, people of different and children are different. My son has alway needed less sleep than the general guidelines. At three years old, he was only needing 10.5 hours of sleep. If you make his bedtime later, do it gradually so his body gets use to it (20 minutes later each day for a few days). I think you are doing the right thing by putting him to bed right away when he gets up, but don't talk to him at all because he is getting attention, even it is negative or positive. Just quietly put him back to bed, no kisses, hugs or anything. If he gets out of bed, keep doing the same thing. This may take a day or a week, but he will get the idea. If he is not tired during the day, then maybe he needs less sleep. Please don't punish him, his body is responding to getting up, he is not trying to be "rude" on purpose.
