Okay I admit I made a big mistake my allowing my little one to come into my bed between my hubby and I and fall asleep. It was cute when she was a little younger because I wanted to keep her next to me all the time. But ever since she is in her toddler bed, she wakes up around 3am EVERY night and comes to my bed. I have tried to walk her back to her room but she begins screaming and crying. I don't want to wake anyone else up because of her screaming so I usually give in and let her sleep in my bed. By the morning, no one has had a good nights rest. How can I get her to stay in her room thru the night? I don't close my door or hers and I don't want to do the cry it out method. Thanks in advance!
Baby gate....and telling her go back to bed, you'll see her in the morning.
If she continues to cry (10 mins max)...then go to her, see if she needs the bathroom, then put her back to bed...sit there a few minutes...close baby gate...repeat if necessary!
Tough one, been there, done that. You just have to be consistent about getting up and taking her back to her room, with no talking/conversations. You may have to do it over and over each night. I think there will be crying unfortunately. (certainly was in our house...at nearly 4 she still occasionally comes in our room, looking for a stuffed animal or something...really at 3am?)
Maybe try a sticker calendar -- I did this with potty training, in that I just created a calendar on a posterboard and each morning she can put a sticker on that previous day if she stayed in her room all night. Then after say 3 days, she gets a little $3 or $5 gift (we did "My Little Pony"). Then after 7 days, then after 10 days, etc. Good luck.
Our 2 year olds officially kissed their crib goodbye later last week. They got up more at first, but we had them go back right back to bed so the instances of them getting up have lessened. Today, at nap time, they didn't get up at all. So, they seem to be getting the message. I know her crying is heartbreaking, but it's not as though she is physically hurt so, I think with consistency it'll be over soon. Best wishes.
I think you need to commit to one way or the other, unfortunately. If you decide that she needs to stay in her room, you are going to have to get up in the middle of the night for a while, and yes there will be screaming! I've heard about this method where you put her back to bed, sit next to her, and each time she gets back up you put her back and move a little farther away. But you stay there until she sleeps. If you decide it is ok for her to sleep in the bed with you, and just accept this arrangement, she may be ready again to try on her own around 3 1/2 or 4. My son has always slept with his dad and I, and we love it. But it certainly has its moments! Haha, Jennifer, there are many times when I've gone into "my son's bed" (that he's never slept in) to get some good shut-eye, and my husband sleeps there at least once a week when his work demands have him short on sleep. But usually if I do go in the other room, around 6 am my son wakes up and crawls into his bed with me. Can't escape....haha ha! Good luck!
Ditto what Toni said, use a baby gate. It isn't a punishment, it's to set boundaries. I got a tall one with vertical slats so it couldn't be climbed. Your other option is to walk her back to bed, screaming and crying (which in reality more than likely won't wake anyone up) as many times as it takes (some parents have stopped counting at 99) for as many nights as it takes.
With the gate put her to bed, close the gate, and if she calls to you @ 3 a.m go to her, open the gate, put her in bed, keep the lights off, don't talk, or if you do use the faintest whisper you can to tell her it's still time to sleep, tuck her in, leave and close the gate, the shorter length of time you're in there the better.
Whichever you decide to do the key will be consistency, and it may get harder with her before it gets better so hang in there ; )
Be patient. Whatever mode you choose, be consistent. We had no issues at all until we built our home that is much larger and daughter was upstairs on opposite end of us at 5 yrs old.
We had musical beds nightly for a while but she adjusted to her new room within reason and at the same time I realized it would not be long and she would never want in my bed ( lol) .
I treasure the moments Ive had to be with her.
We bought a king size bed and just let them come in. My dad said we never really bothered him. He would just roll over so that his back was to us, but my mom couldn't sleep. So she just got up and went into the bed of the child who came into hers. We also skipped the toddler bed altogether and went straight for the twin bed, so we really can just climb into the child's bed.
One thing that really does seem to help (especially if both boys join us in bed) is to sleep "upside down." I put my head at the other end of the bed and my feet where my pillow was. The kids very rarely bother me even if they bump into my feet, so I sleep better that way and they don't bump into my husband because they have room on my side.
If you can find a way to make it work, I don't think you will regret it. Our kids feel so secure knowing they can come to our bed in the middle of the night. They are now 3 and 5 1/2 and they very rarely come to our bed. But I know they feel safe and secure knowing they can if they need to.
baby gate on her door. what i did with my daughter is this. she is not aloud in my room until the sun is up. if she wakes up she is to go potty and back to bed.
I would suggest putting a small cot at the edge of your bed.
My 1st daughter was a horrible sleeper. Back then, my husband had to get up at 5am. He needed to sleep soundly from 11pm-5am. If she came into our room at 2 am, I would put her in the cot.
She went back into her own room after a few months.
**Walking her back to her bed would be best. Try this on the weekend---both Friday and Saturday night. You will probably need more than 2 nights to make it work, but it is worth a try.
Good Luck !
We just curbed that behavior. Problem? She just turned 4. :)
She came in regularly when she was that age, and we had a new baby in the house. We let her so she didn't wake baby and we could have a few more minutes of sleep....since that is all we got then. Minutes of sleep...not hours.
We let it go on and on because baby #2 never slept through the night for over a year, and then we moved and had a huge transition, etc. So, when she turned 4, I told her, "When you turn 4 the rule is, you have to sleep in your own bed all night long!" Of course being older, she wanted to follow the rule. We had to walk her back several times. We always told her how proud we were of her when she slept all night long in HER own bed." We've only had about a total of 60 nights in the past 4 years that we've all slept through the night AND in our OWN beds. (We are tired.)
You need to choose a date (like a long weekend) and committ to keeping her in bed. You take one night, hubby takes the next. Tell her the new rule is....., give her lots of reward and praise for doing it (even if it is only coming in 3 times the first night).
You are right. You need her out of there. You will all sleep so much better. There was a study last fall that showed that kids that slept in the parents bed (at toddler age to elementary age) didn't get the quality sleep they needed and showed symptoms similar to ADD/ADHD during the day. That came out just as I was telling hubby the kiddo had to go! Best of luck to you!!!
There is a really neat nightlight that is a moon that turns into a sun. You can set the time that the moon disappears and the sun lights up. Then you explain that she has to stay in her bedroom until the sun is showing.
Give her a reward for staying in her room until the sun is showing.
Other than that, I suggest allowing her to sleep in your room on a small cot or floor mattress. That way she's with you, but not disturbing your sleep.
I think putting a gate up is going to cause her to stand at the gate and cry, waking everyone up. I don't see that as a viable solution.
You could put the gate on YOUR door, letting her know you're not available! Haha! My parents had a disk with green on one side and red on the other. They hung it from their door handle. I was not allowed to knock if the red was showing unless it was an emergency. She's a little young to understand that, but if she's still doing it when she's older, that might work! I think I used to accidentally walk in on "activities" and so that's what my parents did. The lock on their door did not work.
I have (thankfully!) never really had this issue but others have told me they've tried to make the room as fun to be in as possible. Use some fun nightlights, maybe even Christmas lights strung up, etc. And be consistent about putting her back in her bed...she'll get there...hopefully sooner rather than later! Good luck!
I went through this with both my kids. I had read in a magazine that every time they get up, just repeat, "You must stay in your bed," as you walk them back to their bed. The key is to say it (every time!) in a calm, even voice. Even negative attention is attention. You want to make it boring. After about three nights of this, both kids stayed in their beds. Of course, I repeated this process about a zillion times over those few days! :-) Hang in there!
