2Nd Baby on the Way in 8 Weeks and a 13 Month Old at Home!

i seriously am not trying to be rude. did those of you who have babies this close try to have them that close? just curious...

Hi C.,
It sounds like you have a lot of blessings in your life! My boys are 3.5 years apart so I can't speak to the closeness in age. But I will say that it helps all of us tremendously when I can carve out some consistent 1-on-1 time with each of them. I would think that might be good for your children at any age. Congratulations!!

I just had my second daughter on March 11th and mo oldest daughter is 15 months old. She was jealous at first because Mommy wasn't able to hold her anytime she wanted me too. But I started having her help me with her sister like getting diapers and the wet wipes and shaking up her sister's bottle and after about a week she went back to normal and now just LOVES kissing, hugging, touching, holding her baby sis. My advice is spend as much time as you can with your oldest! It also helped that when I went to the hospital I brought my daughter and had her surrounded by family so the attention wasn't in short supply for her. Congrats and good luck!

My first two boys are 22 mos apart and my family too far to help me, so its not exactly what you'll experience, but here's what I learned... Relax. Don't spend these next few weeks worrying about how stressful your life may become because 1) it will never be as bad as you imagine it will be! 2) you will manage. You will survive and so will the kids. 3)Leave the house duties until later. Don't feel pressured to get those things done. Allow your 15 mo. old to help you. Show him where the diapers are and explain it will be his job to bring you one for the baby, then practice every once in awhile. Or the burpcloths. Or the binkie. Or the blankets... his involvement will increase his security with the transition. Also, try to let him do things on his own a little at a time. He's little yet, but can he try putting on his own socks? Or pick out his own shirt and pants? Or his jammies? Any little duty you can give him will aid you when the baby comes. If you start now, it won't be anything new when you're stretching your attention between him and a baby!
Also, explain what a big job being a big brother is! He'll get to teach the baby all those big-boy things he's been learning (i.e. picking out his own shirt, getting socks, etc.)Also, maybe get him a big brother present from the baby (a little book he can "read" to the baby or a stuffed animal he can practice hugging until his younger sibling is big enough to get a big hug).
Best of luck.

C.,

My brother and I are 13 months apart. My sons are 20 months, and that was a good spacing for me. I don't have a lot of advice for "do's and don'ts" but wanted just say take lots of photos, and write down as much as possible. Your next two years are going to be a blur, and you will want to remember them. Your kids will appreciate it too as they get older and want to see their baby books. If you have a digital camera, use it and try to get the photos organized from the start so that it is easy to keep up with.

Good luck to you!
J.
SAHM to Charlie (3-24-05) and Joey (12-4-06) and due with #3 in Nov.

My kids never wanted to take naps much neither but grandma started a deal were she would tell that it is rest time and they didn't need to go to sleep but just rest. I know it is harder with a little one but maybe if you sit with them and watch a movie or something. With the bottle, my 9 year old was realy hard to brake when she was little so I just took it away and that was it. She did get mad just for a few days but then she didn't care. With you giving it to him still and letting him run you he knows he can get his way. I know it is hard to let a kid get mad or even cry for along period of time but that is the only way you are going to get him off. I will let you know that if you don't try to get him off now, when the baby comes and he/she is on the bottle his is going to through a fit. I have seen that many of times. But after all that, you are the mother so do what you think is best for your kids. This is just what I did with mine.

C.
congrats on the having another baby! I have 5 children, none that close in spacing but the first 3 were newborn, two, four. They are now 17,19,21 and then a 13 and 9 yr old. Anyone that said relax, enjoy and laugh is on target.Laundry dishes ect will get done eventually or as needed. when weather gets nice you may see that its easier to get the 13 mo to take a nap because of the fresh air. If the child will nap in a swing or carseat then do it. They don't always have to be in a crib. Don't be afraid to put in a playpen with toys. Its real handy with another one so close especially for things that come up, (water has boiled, getting something out of the oven,running to switch loads, ect) Most of the time that age should be taking two naps or one long one in the pm. Whatever works for you, DO! It all goes by so quickly and what one person did may not be for you, there is no right or wrong answer. Finally ask friends for help, a 13 mo is still a baby to me so who doesn't want to hold or play with them (I still do)(my husband said 5 was enough) Ok one more thing, others said this also, anytime other kids are old enough, have them help. A 2 yr old can push clothes into the dryer, get a diaper for you, help mix something, ect. Sometimes its a little extra work for you but its worth it. Good Luck

I would run your 13mo. old wild outside everday and wear him out so he will nap.Poop him out.

Hi C.,

Sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now...it will all be worth it in the end...hang in there.

It is too bad that your 13 month old doesn't nap...mine always napped about an hour and a half in the morning and two hours in the afternoon...it would help your stress a lot to have a little time for yourself or just to get things done without a baby underfoot. I know it may seem too late to initiate this, but it's not. At least put him down for a nap in the afternoon...he may not like it at first, but sleeping is a habit and we all need our naps....you, too. Maybe the reason he is sooo active is because he is tired...this happens sometimes.

It would be nice if you could wean him from the bottle soon, that way he won't associate his bottle being taken away with his new little sister or brother. Does he like a sippy cup?

Just keep thinking about how nice it is going to be in June when you are moved into your new home, with a new baby, a great big brother, and a wonderful husband to help. That is how I deal with stress...keep in mind the positive, wonderful times ahead of you!!!

Good Luck!!!

C.

Hello C.! I totally know what you mean about advice on how to handle two little ones so close together. I have two kids, a son 5, and daughter 4. My son was only 13 months when our daughter came along. A piece of advice I have is not to forget that your son is still a "baby" when the new one comes. With a newborn in the house the big brother kind of grows up a little quicker than if a newborn wasn't there. I hope this is making sense. But overall, I think you will find it isn't too difficult. They will go through stages at about the same time and they will be very close to eachother. My kids are such good friends, although they do fight too!! Good luck!

1.Most important don't forget about taking care of yourself. I would go to the Y during the week and get a good work out in while my kids were in the day care. On the weekends I would find something to do by myself for an hour while the kids were with my husband. Sometimes I would find myself at the mall in the early morning with the mall walkers or hanging out at the Library.
2. Don't be afraid to ask your friends or husband for help!

I was also in the same situation but we moved to another state where we didn't know anybody! Shortly after we moved into our new home we met and got to know our neighbors they were great help after our 2nd daughter was born. In fact we are very blessed to have them as her Godparents!

Things weren't so bad when after we brought home the new baby. It was almost like I was raising twins-both girls were changed at the same time, fed at the same time, napped at the same time, etc. My 15 month old did very well, she kept busy with her stuff when I was feeding the baby. She was a good helper too-she would get diapers, cream, the baby's binky for me. P.S. Have you tried a sippy cup yet? All of our children were off of the bottle by 10 months with no problem of changing to a sippy cup.

The craziness begins (or began in our house) when they are both walking and wanting the same toys, attention, etc. That's when I was the most stressed ever in my life! That's also why I waited until they were both in school full days before we had our 3rd child!

For your active little guy who won't take naps (my 2 year old is the same way)maybe have some out door play time and then come in and have quiet time. Put a movie in, read some books, or try an actvity with him. I have a great book called the Toddlers Busy Book which has 365 games and activites to keep 1-3 year olds busy (author Trish Kuffner).

By the way, my girls (who just turned 7 & 8)are very close today and can't do anything with out each other, I hope to see it continue!

Hello C.!
Congratulations, I was and am in a similar situation! My son Nick was born 11/22/04, my daughter Sophia was born 12/19/05, and my 2nd daughter Gianna was born 10/10/07. For 1 month, as it worked out, I had 3 under 3! It's crazy but it works.
Austin will be about 15 mos. (?) when the baby is born, this is actually a good age. I heard a lot about how it helps to space the kids under 2 or over 4! As you can tell I like to defy all advice... :)
In my situation my son was too young to be jealous really, and he adjusted really well. Nick and his sister are 3 days shy of 13 months apart and are awesome playmates! Of course they fight sometimes but she is his shadow and we always tell him how special he is to be a big brother. My best advice is
to have Austin help as much as he is willing and able to. Breastfeeding is my other advice, which you said you're planning anyways. It is so much easier to be able to engage as usual with the firstborn when you can bring the baby anywhere in the house to feed. (This goes for me with #3 too, I walk around the house nursing so I can play with my other kids.)
We followed a schedule too, with #2 and #3 as much as possible. I don't think it's too late to try to work in a nap in the afternoon, or at least "quiet time" which usually leads to a nap, if you're lucky... My son is WILD too, maybe ADHD, who knows. He goes and goes, but we have come to count on those naps. It's worth trying and then you will have some time to rest with baby/ have 1 on 1 time.
Lastly, RELAX. My kids can tell when I'm stressed about anything (finances, baby crying, etc..) and it seems like their behavior turns from bad to worse in sync with my demeanor. Gianna is super mellow because we are so much more relaxed with her, each time we mellowed a bit, just learn to let things go.
It sounds cliched but dishes might sit, laundry might sit, you get the point, but enjoy the time you have with your kids. I am just now able to maintain my twice a week laundry "schedule" and once a week bathroom, dusting, etc...
Be prepared to adjust, I vacuumed 4 times in one day because of a minor food fight in our play room. Instead of freaking out I sat back and laughed, I was very proud, although I'm sure my blood pressure was sky-hi! Then I got out the vaccuum...
I could go on all day, sorry for babbling. To summarize, naptime is worth trying, relax, nursing is a good (& convenient) idea, and I almost forgot, the world is designed for a family of 4. 1:1 parent to kid ratio! Good Luck, feel free to contact me anytime for anything...
J.