2 Year Old Screaming Fits! Help!

You have to get over your embarrassment and just stand there with no expression, calmly tell him until he stops you will stay put, stay until he stops, ask if he is finished and only then do you move on. You have given him this power to control you and your situation. If it doesn't affect you, then he has no power. I also let my daughter take a friend with us wherever we go. If she throws a fit, the friend goes in my bag and only when she makes the decision to behave does she get it back.

If you must move on, just don't talk to him about it... grab his hand and walk with him. Believe me, people understand... if they don't, who cares... they don't have to live with your child, you do.

GL!

I had the same/multiple scenarios when my daughter was that age. She is now 3.5. It drove me crazy, but I stuck with it. I kept taking her with me..if she didn't behave, I would leave or sometimes I stayed if it was something I really needed to do.

I noticed that if she thought she pulled me into her tantrum, it would go on and on. Once I picked up on that, I ignored her as long as she wasn't hurting herself or someone else. Just don't let him control you..because that happened to me. You stand firm on what you need to do and eventually it will change, but it will take some time.

Also, I noticed my daughter would have more tantrums if she was tired/hungry. So, I kept snacks in my purse and only tried to schedule certain things after a nap. Sometimes it was neither of the two and she still wanted to do it her way. He's just at this age..when being independent is very important to them..just set the ground rules before you leave...while you're in the car...I just kept reminding my little one about how I expected her to behave.

It will get better..just hang in there and TAKE A STAND! You're the grown up.

I thought I would never be able to give advice to another mother b/c of what I experience with my daughter. I thought I was going to lose it.

I got stares from many people...but hey I'm the parent and she wasn't being hurt and I didn't care if she screamed while I shopped b/c she had to learn she was not in control.

GL!

The other ladies definitely have good advice. It's all about control at this age. The more control you can give them in situations where it doesn't matter to YOU, the more control YOU can have when it does matter to you. They're smarter than we think. I started doing Love and Logic type discipline, and they really do understand what you're asking of them. Good luck!

Hi E., I totally relate. I have a 2 yr old and just went though the same thing. I tried everything and took her to the pedi and everyone told me to ignore, I did that, they told me time out, i did that. I ended up with my own blend and had to go a little old school. In our case ignoring absolutley did not work, we ended up with a blend of time out and also spanked her hand a little mostley to get her attention and it worked. She is much better behaved but more importantly is happier all the time. The main point for us was consistancy and it was clearly a power struggle but I remember the moment that I won and we really both won becuase of it. Good luck to you!

Hi E., Stay calm

Children even as young as a month old can figure out what gets them what they want and usually it's crying. If you give into your child when they scream, then they will do it.

It seems that it's something he's figured out. Now to undo it, you have to let him think that his screaming doesn't effect you and that you won't give into it. When he starts his screaming, don't talk to him. Let him scream, and don't give in.

If your at the camp and he starts this again, calmly go over, pick him up and take him to the car and let him scream until he gets it out of his system. Don't say a word to him, that's what he wants, he wants your reaction. Giving in to him only makes him worse. Stay calm, if he sees you get mad or upset, he will know it's working.

One thing I would do with my grandson when he visited and would start that screaming, I would very calmly walk over to him, picked him up and took him inside the house and make him stay in the house till he calmed down, this was something that worked because he loved being outside so he would calm down and listen to what I was saying. If he kept it up, then he had to stay in longer.

Never let him know he's getting to you, you will lose control.

Good luck and always with Love and Light
Rev. G. Hudson

I, too, have a 5 year old son and a son who will be 2 next week. My almost 2 year old does the same exact thing. I really don't know what to do because my oldest never did anything like this when he was 2. After getting past the shock and embarrassment of the screaming, just go about your business and ignore him. Everyone else is correct when they say attention or giving in will only make things worse. I'm not saying let him scream in church or a restaurant or somewhere like that, but just pick him up and put him in the car or take him outside until he calms down. There isn't much a parent can do at this age when a child is out of control like that except give them a place to cool down. I, also, try to avoid these types of situations in the first place. I try to distract him when he wants to do something that's not allowed. You mentioned wanting to play in the sink. I would have said something like,"I have a lollipop in my bag, but it is outside, so let's go get it." I always keep DumDums in my bag just in case I have to wait somewhere. I try to use distraction instead of getting angry or upset because it only makes the situation worse for us. Do you have to wait until the camp is over or can you leave and come back? An hour is an awfully long time for a 2 year old to wait. If you can't leave,can he play outside until time to go? Could you bring a game or colors or something to occupy his time?

E.,

I agree with the others that you shouldn't give him attention. At home when he does this you could walk away and go into another room. I think that when he sees you aren't standing there looking at him and trying to calm him down he will stop. I have also heard that if you speak softly to the child they will stop screaming to hear what you are saying. I tried this with mine and it didn't seem to work as good as it did with some of my friends but its worth a try. Everytime he throws a fit you have to be consistent in not giving in to him as this will keep the fit cycle going. It is key to remain calm...easier said than done. Best of luck!
C.