My daughter has occastionally hit or pushed others and usually when I tell her "no" or (if that doesn't work) give her a brief time-out the behavior immediately stops and she apologizes. Today was a different story - she was hitting me (first time she has done this) all day long and no matter what I did she just kept hitting. When I tried to discipline her (talking to her, time out, even yelling when I was beyond frustrated)she just laughed and kept hitting. She normally doesn't do this, and she had a bad day today in general as she didn't nap, but I am afraid this might happen again and I need help as far as what to do in order to stop the hitting since my regular techniques did not work at all today!
Having NO attention is definitely the key. I could never get my two year old to sit still in one place for a formal time out, so I would tell him "NO" and I would leave the room. If I worked on him staying still for a time out, explaining why it was wrong, etc. it didn't work. But he would cry and stop the behavior (including biting me once when he was teething) if I simply left the room for a few minutes. Good luck! D.
J., first take a deep breath and realize that this was one day, not every day -- you said yourself that until today, your daughter stops when told to and apologizes. At age 2, that's great.
As for today: You said three key words: "She just laughed." She kept hitting, and laughing, because she was getting reactions from you--even yelling at her is still attention, even if it's negative attention.
If this repeated hitting happens again -- and it's a lot less likely to if she gets her naps, as I can tell you know already -- just don't react other than to tell her no, we never hit, you must have time out, and place her in time out for two minutes (one minute per year of age), somewhere safe for her but away from you, where she can't get to you. No talking it through first, no "this makes me feel...", no yelling. She hits, she gets isolated from you immediately, no time in between action and consequence after the first warning. When her time's up, she apologizes. But another hit means instant return to time out, no discussion. It sounds like whatever time outs you used today somehow became part of the game to her; I might put her somewhere safe where she can see you and vice versa that has a baby gate between you. Then you carry on with quiet housework or just sitting and reading, where you can see her but she still must stay put. If she says sorry but then hits again, right back to her time out area she goes. Every single time even if it takes a dozen times. If you ever watch "Supernanny" this is how she operates -- repeated, firm but calm time outs, consistently, even if it takes hours at a time, and sometimes on that show it does take dozens of returns to time out to stop a behavior. This might be too tough for her -- This tends to get used for cases of repeated behavior and it sounds like your toddler might have just been fried from tiredness this one day. But the idea is ensuring it doesn't become a game and she doesn't get rewarded with your attention, even in the form of yelling.
Hi I feel your frustration I have a 19m0 boy who has started the same thing. I tried the eye level scolding and the time out which is a concept he really doesn't get just yet. so when he started hitting me when he is angry I had to resort to hitting him back not very hard more of just a unpleasent touch. This has worked now he thinks about it before he does it and it is getting much better. i know that this may sound harsh but some times get what you give is an effictive way to parent. good luck
i would hold my daughter's hand, say, 'that hurts mommy' and put her down/walk away. the message was if you want my company you may not hit me. this is like a time out but more age appropriate. of course in your situation lack of sleep was a culprit and discipline is very hard to enforce with hungry or sleepy children. getting a combined approximate 12 hours of sleep is so important. good luck!
hi J.,
this sure is a frustrating phase, and i can understand you losing it and yelling at her. but you've got some really good advice here. staying calm and consistent is what will pay off in the long run, even if it's tough in the short run. this WILL pass, and the good habits you develop by learning to pick your consequence and stick to it no matter what will serve you well in future showdowns.
i do hope you don't heed the advice to hit her back. it's of primary importance for adults to remember that we're NOT two-year-olds, should have some measure of control over our actions, and since kids learn what we do far more than what we say, how important it is to model rather than talk about what behavior is appropriate.
khairete
S.
My newly two year old just started doing the same exact thing so really eager to hear the responses. My 3 year old never did this. I hope you find your answer.
I always use time out with my son. He seems to react to it in a good way. The langth on the time out goes by his age
