12 Yo Daughters Best Friend Says Shes Pregnant

Well you should move easy on it because maybe she is telling the truth and her parents do know,if they haven't said anything they maybe trying to keep it under wraps for whatever reason.it's never easy to deal with being a young parent for the child or her parents(i was a young parent)so please be careful.

How well do you know the parents? Unless they are complete strangers, I would give them a call. If you are hesitant, or do not know them at all, I would suggest a call to the school guidance counselor, and let them handle it. N. B.

Hello G.,

I think it would be a good rule of thumb to speak with her parents. If she is lying then her parent will be aware of her cry for help. If she is pregnant, then her parents will be aware of her cry for help. Either way you should sit down and talk to your daughter candidly about her friend and how she feels about the situation.

Good Luck!

I suggest having a talk with the teacher, assuming they are in school together. Some kids who talk about sex (or get pregnant at that age) are abused and it might be wise to have a third party deal with it. Likewise, it keeps some anonymity so that there is no tension between the girls. And less embarressment all around.

Only if you are friendly with them, then I might talk to the girl's parents. Don't assume anything about whether the girl is or is not pregnant. I would just say something matter-of fact like, you want to make sure they know she is saying this since she may say it to a lot of people like ministers, teachers, etc. And thought they should know so they can be prepared to field questions about it.

If it is not true, say you are glad to hear that and goodbye -not your business if their kid lies. Hopefully, they will take it seriously. But you do need to have a talk with your daughter re: sex, values, honesty, that becoming a parent is a big deal, etc.

And if it is true, tell them that you hope that everyone is doing well and to let you know if they need assistance. No judgement. Then have the same talk with your daughter as above, but stress the importance of friendship at difficult times and what the family must be going though.

Odds are they won't know anything about this and won't be able to tell you with certainty if it is true or not. And they don't have to - if it's the first they are hearing of such a thing, all they should say is thank you for letting us know and then go have a talk with their daughter.

Mainly, I think that you have to say something, because it will send a message to your daughter that having a baby is not a game and not something that you do to get yourself attention. I'll be curious to read the update and see what happens.

Another thing you can do if you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to her parents is speak with the school nurse. She can deal both with pregnancy health and mental health issues. Moat nurses are good about unobtrusively getting to the bottom of things. But if she is truly pregnant, she needs to make sure she is getting good prenatal care.
Also, you need to address sex and teen pregnancy with your daughter. You can use this as a conversation starter.

You are correct to be a litte skeptical. However, do you have a good relationship with the parents? If you do, I would try to speak with the parents(mother) to see if they actually know about the situation. Depending on the answers you recieve from the parents, should determine how you would like to proceed with your daughter. At 12 years old, to me , she is still a child and needs guidance. I pray that she is lying.

I would talk to the parents because if she is your daughters best friend and she is having sex......
then maybe you should put some distance between your daughter and her. But if she is lying then the parents still need to know because she has some serious problems that could follow her into the future and again for that reason also you should put some distance between her and your daughter. Good luck.

M.
Mom to 2 girls and 2 boys

Hi G.,

Do what you think is best.

How is this situation affecting your relationship with your 12 year old daughter?

It is not about the pregnant girl but your ability to listen to your daughter's feelings about what she heard from her friend. Ask her how she feels about learning that her friend is pregnant.

That is the real issue.

Hope this helps you to refocus your attention. Good luck. D.

let the parents know. wouldn't you want a phone call? i know i would.

You seem to have the right idea about calling the other girl's parents. Not only for confirmation, but as you said, there could be a serious issue; even more than just a cry for attention.
I'd praise your daughter for keeping you in the loop; and being willing to speak on such a private subject.
L.

could you have the girl over one day or night for a sleep over? maybe ask her if she can feel the baby move or if shes had any mornng sicknes. dont drill her but make light conversation over it as if you were talking to your friend over lunch about her newly found pregnancy. if your daughter was sworn to secrecy then have you daughter ask these questions herself. see how she acts at your house that night and if you then see that something is amiss including the fact that she is indead pregnant, call the folks. i would just state your concern that you want to keep lies from spreading and wanted to confirm the pregnancy with them. then if they say it's true, offer your help (dont say your sorry) and say you will do whateveer they ask or seem best for their daughter that you can.

I believ without a doubt you should contact the girls parents - just thnk of it in this way - How would you feel if a parent knew something about your daughter that you did not - that is as significant as this? Best of luck - I hope thi sgirl is not pregnant - that is absolutely frightening!

There is a ton of good advice here, so I can only add so much.

If you know the girl's parents, even just a little, contact them. Face-to-face might be better than over the phone. If you don't know the parents, call the school counselor.

Secondly, if this girl is pregnant, someone broke the law. All states have "Age of Consent" laws, and I'm pretty sure that 12 is well below the state's age of consent.

If this girl is not pregnant, this is a very loud scream for attention. She needs professional help either way.

If this were my daughter - I would want to know that she was saying this. It could be a cry for attention on her part or it could be a sign of something else - possibly early sexual activity. Her parents need to know. Did she tell your daughter in confidence - if so - be careful. Talk to your daughter first and let her know that as a good and responsible and caring adult - you have an obligation to tell the other girl's parents. Depending on your relationship with the other parents - you will have to judge for yourself how to best bring this up.

Hi Greenie. If I were you, I would let the school handle it, I would immediately call the principal and inform him.. not leaving out that the girl has a history of lying and your daughter is not sure.. but... he/she should know because he /she knows what steps to take.

Also this is a great time to talk about sex with your daughters (even if you've had that talk already). 12 year olds do get pregnant.. so do 11 year olds.. and to my SHOCK and dismay-- I met a lady who was 26 and had a 16 year old.. You do the math. Good luck!!

L.

I would talk to the girl's parents and also stress to your daughter the dangers and consequences of the situation and underage sex. In this day and age where sex is everywhere and the media does nothing to teach the resposabilities of sex it is very important you set the tone for her and make her understand that sex is very serious and is all that the media makes it to be.

Hi Greengirl!
WOW!! Can you imagine being pregnant at 12?? I say let it lie for now. But being so young she may not show for a while. But it could be a good life lesson for your daughter. If this girl is truely pregnant, your daughter will see all the struggles that go along with being pregnant so young. Maybe it's a good time to have that mother-daughter talk about what not to do (without lecturing). Remind her of all the things this girl will have to give up & miss out on (let alone the whole physical thing).
Good luck!

At this age, girls especially can be very cruel to each other. I would not involve yourself with the other girls parents as this could cause problems for your daughter. She might be labeled a snitch or a trouble maker by her peers. I would do my best to keep her name out of anything you do. I would however, definitely talk to the guidance counselor. Call her anonymously and let her know that you have heard some very unsettling information about another student and would like to report it. And then let her handle it from there.

Hope this helps.

1st question. IF it's true - who's protecting this 12 yr old child from a potential sexual predator? IF this is true - what were the circumstances of her getting pregnant and is there someone who can intervene on her behalf so she is not abused again? Her telling this story may be a child's way of trying to figure out if what happened to her is normal and happening to her friends. Her telling your daughter may be a cry for help and not a lie or attention seeking. If she has "issues" already at this young age - you have to look at why. I like the advice that the school nurse be informed. She is an unrelated 3rd party and can pursue the health and legal aspects as that is her job. You can only manage how this affects your daughter.

I agree with others that you should definitely have a good talk with your daughter. But, to answer your question, absolutely YES, I would contact her parents! As parents I feel it is always best to put other parents in the loop. (If it had been your daughter I am sure you would want her friend's parents to contact you.) But regardless, as a parent it is only right to contact the parents!

I have to respond to this because My little sister went through the same thing (if it is a cry for attention) and it started right around the age of 12. Do you have a relationship with the parents?? I think, if I were you, I would probably contact the parents and confirm. Your daughters friend says her parents already know, so its not like your telling on her or anything. If it turns out to be a lie, definately try to get this girl some help. You say she has a history of lying, I think lying in children is a form of a cry for attention, or help. I must share with you my sisters story. It start in middle school, she was spreading lies about herself...including....she had aborted babies with hangers in school bathrooms, she did drugs in school, she had sexual relationships with many boys .....and so on. As her sister, I knew that she had made these stories up....first of all they were not realistic! But then she went to live with our dad and the behaviour got out of control. She was so desperite, she overdosed on medication and was put in hospital. More than once, and of course she got alot of attention out of it.
So my point is, If this young girl has problems to the point where she has to lie to get attention. She needs help immediately before it gets out of hand.
I really hope this helps.
J.

I would DEFINATLY call her parents. It may or may not be true but if it is the parents may not know like the girl says they do...(you said she lies). She could have been sexually abused or something and that would need to be put to a stop! Its sadly not so far fetched that a 12 yr old is sexually active either...but it could also be that maybe the mother is pregnant and that was HER ultrasound. In that case the parents need to know so they can sit down with her and really listen to what shes feeling...b/c that is obviously a cry for attention. Hopefully her parents will be "mature" enough to handle this in the appropriate way.

Hope this helps!
A.

Call her parents I would!

Are you friends with her parents? Might make it easier to approach the mother if you are. If you do not know the parents, Id call the school counselor and talk to her about it. Chances are, if she is pregnant, the school nurse and counselor know about it already- or at least should. If she is just crying out for attention, they should still know.

If this is your daughter's best friend, definately contact her parents. Try to get to the root. I wouldn't let it lie. A 12 yo girl being preg is no joke. Good luck & God bless!