10 Year Old Wants to Have Her Own Email and Facebook Page

My son is 10 and has both an email address and facebook page...however, I set up the accounts and I am the only one that knows the passwords. He can only get on there with me logging him on and my supervision. I can control who he "accepts" and "invites" as friends on facebook and what emails he opens and from whom. He thinks its really "cool" but I have all the control ;)

No way! Who cares what other parents let their kids do? Ten years old is way too young to understand the dangers that can be online. I think the family email account is a GREAT idea : ).

You've gotten a ton of responses. I just wanted to let you know that we signed my 10 year old daughter up for a Zilladog email account and it's terrific - totally controlled by parents: you can block what she sends out and what she gets (address, phone number, etc.) and she can only send to and receive from her approved buddy list. We've loved it. It also sends a copy of emails she sends to my account. It might help you out. There is no way I'd let her do FB, though. I don't even have an account!

J.

Facebook has an age limit and, IMO you should go with it. I believe it's 14yrs old. There are too many preditors out there and even on facebook you have to be careful.

As far as e-mail, there are a lot of programs that you can use so you can also monitor it and know what's going on. We us Zoobuh.com. It's free for a few months and then it's $25/yr or something like that. You can set it up so that only specific people can send her e-mail and you can also set it up so you get a copy of every e-mail sent to her.

I would absolutely NOT do a social network page until she is at the age allowed on the sites - and even then make sure you know her log in and password and tell her she has to "friend" you so you can see her pages.

God Bless-
C.

I agree with the previous posters who said that let your daughter have these accounts but monitor them. This is a new day and kids do not talk on the family phone, mail letters or always have access to go to a friends houses since we now do not all attend the "neighborhood schools" and families live all over the country instead of the same cities. This is an excellent time for you to totally monitor and teach your daughter about computer safety, etiquette and responsibility.

We have many children on our facebook accounts, but they have the highest controls on their accounts. They really do not need email anymore since facebook has a messaging that is completely private.

Almost all of our family (even Great Grandma 90 years old) is on there visiting and sharing. This really helps with language and topics for all of us.

My sister uses facebook as a ways to make sure her kids get the good grades and good behavior that she expects. If they do not do their chores, talk back, grades start to slip, she yanks facebook time away from them. They shape up really quick.

The cell phone at this point should be pretty basic item for all family members. Your daughter will need to learn to care for it and you will need to explain that it costs money to use. It is a wonderful way to always know where she is, to let her know when your status changes and in emergencies. again this is a necessity you never knew you needed tll the first time you have peace of mind because you could get hold of her during an emergency, where in the past you would have had to physically hunt her down to give her information. There are many controls and safety features on phones now, so you can really keep track of everything at all times.

Email is fairly safe. Talk to her about not opening email from unknown sources because of computer viruses, but other than that not much bad can come of having email.

On facebook, if I were you I'd get an account myself first so that you can see how it works, what features are in place to prevent some information from being public, etc. Once you are familiar with it then I think you will see that it would be ok for her to have an account as long as you have her password, you are a friend on her account, and you have had a long talk with her about the appropriate use of it and what things she should let you know about immediately.

Good luck,
K.

You actually have to be 13 to have a facebook page - but I know younger kids have accounts. Mine do not.

My kids have email - but limited access - with their accounts - no one can email them unless we have approved them though our parental controls.

Kids today are part of the new tech generation, email, texting and social media seem commonplace to them. Teaching them to use these modes of communication correctly and effectively is important. We want our kids to still use face to face/ phone calls as their primary method of communication, but totally understand the new trends as well. We moved when my daughter was in 4th grade (cross country) she is now in 7th grade and keeps in touch with her old friends still via email/facebook.

With parental controls - electronic media can be a great thing - but your daughter is too young for facebook.

My almost-13-year-old has a facebook page. I would have been a definite "no" on this question, but then her cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents and birthmom all got on facebook, and we're spread out over several states, so I let her do it with the agreement that I decide who she is friends with and I have her password and monitor her page. Of course we only have family on it, and the kids share pictures and other info with each other and the older relatives so I don't have much to monitor. You need to make sure all the settings are private, so that no one can get her information but her selected friends. And I would tell her that you would only agree to it if you monitor the page and all the postings. Girls at that age (even in private school because that's where we are) can be really really nasty so you have to keep up on that. I would also probably check with a few of the parents to see if their kids really do have accounts.

I can only tell you what I did in my own situation, because this is one of those grey areas you need to work out with your daughter.
1. Cell phones - my theory is that if there are times that my child is not with me, I feel better knowing that they can contact me if needed. Both of my children had cell phones (I think iPhones are a bit much) at this age, but with strict rules about usage.
2. E-mail is already passe according to my 14-year-old daughter, but having an e-mail account is pretty innocuous as long as you coach her to never open an e-mail from anyone she doesn't recognize, and never to click on links without checking with you first. Also take advantage of spam blockers that most e-mail services provide.
3.Facebook - I just got into facebook myself and it's been a great way to contact people that I've lost touch with over the years or keep in better contact with relatives I have overseas. No, I don't constantly update my status, but it's fun putting up photos and knowing that my cousins in Italy can see them. Facebook also has a lot of privacy settings to that only people who you want to see the information can see it. You have to be 14 to have a facebook page, but yes, many 11-year-olds do.
4. Cyberbullying - The best thing to do is to coach your daughter to come to you if anything happens. People can be blocked, the computer can be shut down. My own experience has been to treat it like you would any kind of bullying. Just because the method is different doesn't mean the cause or the effect is different.

I don't think you're being old-fashioned, but I also understand where your daughter is coming from, especially if she has friends that don't live nearby. It's just another way to stay in touch now that letter writing is a thing of the past.

But that's just me!

My children (11, 11, 10, 4, 4) can receive all the emails they want. It gets sent to my email address so I can read it first. I will usually let them come read it and reply. They can't press send until I read it first.

Of course there is the old fashioned Telephone. Where did the actually talking to people go? I think all of this electronic communication has created antisocial people. No body respects actual people, they can't spell properly or communicate without being rude or offensive.

We do NOT and never will allow Facebook for the kids. This is just way too dangerous. We are very strict with the kids. They have gone onto my facebook to play farm games, but they don't even know how to get on there with out my help. Facebook has an age limit so they are too young in the first place. Of course you can back date the year they were born, but isn't this LYING? We are teaching our children not to lie, about anything. EVER! If these kids who are 10 an 11 are lying about their ages, so are certain MEN who act like small children. Once the door is open it's hard to close it again. Each girl has her own profile on the computer, where there are parental controls and a password I have to input before they can do anything. My profile is password protected. This is not because I don't trust them. This is to protect them. The internet is a wonderful and useful "tool" , it is also a very dangerous place for children. When they are 18, we will show them how to use the internet properly. Until then it's really not necessary.

Can you tell I'm very passionate about this subject?

Just because all the other kids have one doesn't mean mine will. They are not allowed cell phones even though all the other kids have them. Please forgive me but kids are out of control with the things they have and do becuase parents fear them being the "odd girl'. My girls have never been made fun of for not being allowed these things. Even if they are, oh well. We all can't have what the "Jonses" have. This sets kids up to be horrible adults thinking they need to have it because everyone else does.

Just my 85 cents. ;)

I don't personally think it's harmful. Letting her have it is one way to teach her about the things you are worried about. You can monitor it initially, and tell her how to avoid those things. When my daughter was cyber-bullied (by her bitchy friend), I told her, "well, then, don't look at her posts and don't answer her!" It's really not that difficult.

Facebook is just a new way of socializing, replacing the phone in many ways.

Good Morning A.,

No face book, no individual email, no cell phone at 10. I suggest establishing a family email address. (i.e. ____@____.com). Friends can “attention” whoever is receiving email. This way you can monitor what she is sending and receiving and she can keep up with her friends.

I don’t think your daughter will be the only 10 year old without these things. Furthermore, being different isn’t always a bad thing.

Blessings……

In order for her to have her "own" facebook page, she needs to be 13 years old (unless someone lies about her birthdate when signing her up - not a very good example for her). So, I would absolutely say no to that. As far as an email account, I did just set one up for one of my 12 yr olds so she can email papers to herself at school (not that that will be the only thing it is used for). I don't know if I would have done it at 10, but I guess it would depend on the circumstances. I set up her account myself (with yahoo) and have it "hooked" to mine. Every morning, I review all incoming and outgoing message in her account. The rule is that if I check it in the morning and I either cannot get it because the password is changed or there are inappropriate emails, I will immediately shut it down. Finally, she has to use her laptop at the dining room table, facing the rest of the house, so just by walking by anyone can see what she is doing on the computer. She is also only allowed to use the computer when I am home and "milling around" the kitchen/dining room area.

You are not being "too old-fashioned." I don't care WHAT my kids say about everyone else has one Mom!!!!!!!!!!! My kids are not everyone else's kids and those parents aren't going to be around if MY kids get in trouble on the internet.

Finally, I know that you didn't ask this :) but my kids didn't get cell phone until they were 16 years old and were working a job. Not because I made them pay for it, but because I couldn't think of a reason that they needed one before then. Also, none of the kids are allowed to own a device that can receive internet signal (other than their laptops - which I heavily monitor). So, no Ipod Touch and those kinds of items are allowed to be owned in my home.

Good luck!

Since you're the parent and in control of all things internet, why would you feel the need to justify this to your daughter? That's what the house phone is for. She can call their cell phones during the summer to stay in touch. What was it our parents used to say? If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? It's not old-fashioned, it's parenting. It's teaching your daughter to learn to be creative in her communication. A letter can be written as quickly as an email. And the excitement of receiving a letter in the mail...give her an 'allowance' of stamps so she can mail things to her friends: homemade cards, letters, notes, Miss You things. Let email be something special, like for her 13th birthday, she gets her own email account...remember when it was your own home phone line for your birthday?

I don't mean to soapbox you, but kids having iPhones and internet access at such a young age is one of the reasons we have so much entitlement today. Just because it's an option doesn't mean you have to pick it.

Email, heavily monitored by mom and dad, yes. Facebook NO NO NO. I worked in an industry where we hired teens and found out that a fellow store owner who was also a police officer was arrested for child molestion. If you can't trust someone you know who is in law enforcment how can you trust strangers? This man used his ownership in a store to seek out young girls and messaged them through FB and texting on cell phones.
I also highly recommed net nanny or any other such software. I have grounded my girls from the computer until I get mine installed because of what I was finding they could look at. YOUTUBE is also forbidden. It's amazing that YOUTUBE claims to filter videos and what my kids have been able to find out there! (my girls are 7 & 9)

My 12yr old has had an email since last year, but no facebook. I really think that most kids are texting at this age, not so much on the email/facebook. My daughter does not have a cell phone yet, so the email is a way for her to talk with her friends. I do check for email, and it has been mostly talking about school, and birthday parties, and what everyone is doing on the weekend.

I think once she has a cellphone, the email will go by the wayside.

A.,
Lots of answers and I scanned through most of them. I may have missed these points though so please forgive if I did end up duplicating (i tried to make sure I did not).
1. FB does have a 13 y.o. limit. If you enter in a birthdate less than 13 y.o. when you register for an account it stops you. End of question. There is no 'reading into' that.
If you allow your child to alter that date to gain access under age then please be okay with them when they do something under age or lie about age to a)join the military b) buy tobacco c) get into a club d) buy alcohol... you get my point. There is a line to be drawn and this one is wayyyy too important to smudge.
2. I agree with the others; email at this age is great! A few reasons why: you can control and teach proper web 2.0 manners and how to "compose" a proper email to include getting rid of 50 'fwds' and all the extra junk on an email that others leave on it. You can also discuss more easily at this age why you do NOT have to respond or fwd to 10 people so that you do not have a ghost dismember your family within the next 10 days. (really- that email came to my kids and scared the bejezzus out of them!) You allow them a way to communicate with friends in a manner appropriate to their generation. It allows them the opportunity to keep up with relatives who are far away. Last, some schools actually require students to be able to send emails for class projects, etc. Ours is highly web interactive and nearly every week they have the opportunity to save homework on a thumb drive, come home, complete, re-save and then send via email to the teacher (an effort by the school to get more paperless).
3. Phones for a child that age are beyond me. The house phone works just fine in my opinion. There is a higher risk of inappropriate activity on a cell phone than on the internet! Sexting is VERY real and VERY rampant- even at 11! We have ONE phone for the 4 of our children to share as needed. Many places no longer have payphones or will not allow you to make a local call to have mum or dad pick you up- so this goes with on special outings or sports that take them away from school with undecided return times.

You are not being too old fashioned. Being honest (not lieing about age), expecting them to not grow up too fast (it happens soon enough), and making them hold to a standard that is high are never old fashioned- they are valuable standards to use as a parent no matter what generation we are raising.
I do have a facebook. I do show my children when family have new pictures on there. We are military and do not live near any family or friends from our past- so this is a very efficient way to share our activities with loved ones- they can see pics, etc at their convenience. That is mainly what I use mine for (and I blog for fun).
I do have a family IM set up for the main computer. The children all know how to video conference in with the people who are already approved on our list. They are not able to add anyone else and any one that has not been pre-approved can IM or webcam with them. I set the account to private. You have to know our info to find us- so those I invite can and no one else.
Again, email is great, fb and phone, no way in my opinion. Webcam might be the best alternative to "keeping up" with her friends this summer. Just make sure those settings for friends are REALLY private so there is not inappropriate activity happening. We chose skype for the family- it has great security settings.
Best of luck to you!

MY 12 year old daughterwill be getting a cell phone when school starts in September because it is just the four of us. Unfortunately, the neighbors on our small road are not ones you want your kids around, so we don't have anyone here to help with babysitting, emergency pick up, etc. The school has not been godd at returning phone calls---none have been returned at all!She fully understands it is for calling us--not texting with friends, etc. We trust her and she is reliable. We also let her email and get email from friends. She can't send unless we read it and she reads aloud her incoming emails to us. She also has a skype account since we moved far away from all her friends and I can hear that when she is using it. She actually asked me last week what twitter and facebook was and I explained. She realiozes that if she wants to talk to her friends here, she can pick up the house phone or invite them over.

Short answer: NO to both.
My niece is in 4th grade and having terrible problems with cyber bullying. My sister is crying over this and the filthy rude x-rated emails from so called 'friends' have been printed and shared with the principal of her school to try to deal with this. It's an on going struggle. Why throw your child to the wolves like this? It's just not worth it.

I think FB has an age rule of 13 to start, HOWEVER, I have a niece and nephew under 13 with FB accounts. Their parents are on the friend list.

Age 10 seems a little young for FB but I would be ok with email and cell phone (as long as I have full access with all passcodes, etc) My daughter did have a cell phone around age 9....mainly for security purposes and I have no issue with that at all.

My 15 yr old does have FB, IPhone, personal laptop and email accounts. She uses the laptop for school (and social of course). I have access to all passcodes and I do random checks on everything.

As far as cyber bully...that does happen occasionally. One website I was STRONGLY keep my children away from is a new one the high schoolers are using called formspring.me. This site is awful. "Invisible" people post questions to you, some of which are very crude and ugly. My daughter was a target on that site and was threatened. Her friends have quit using it a this point because the police are involved in the threat against my daughter.

We never had any issues with FB or MySpace.

We all have facebook accounts. I have relatives all over and a lot of them are on facebook, old friends from High School, friends I had in other towns, people from my church here at home, etc....

The joy of facebook is the games. Some of the games are the most popular in the world. The kids only have friends I approve and they have to be people I personally know, or my friends personally know. Like my friend from College has some ladies from her church that play the games, she asked if they could friend the kids so they could have more neighbors in the games. They are friends with her kids so I said yes. I am on the computer often during the day and I made their email addresses and passwords so I can go and see if anything is going on at any time. Plus the computer is in the main living area, where it can be seen ALL THE TIME, and there is no way they can do anything not allowed.

When you read the rules facebook suggests that kids under 13 not have accounts, they don't forbid it or anything like that. They just suggest it. I think you can read the agreement yourself and translate it to what you feel is right for your family. But if your child is around other kids that are on then she can always make an account herself and use a cell ephone or computer elsewhere. It's very easy.

There are privacy options on every application and wall option, and what people see when they look up your name. It can be a blank page with just your name, that says ".....only shares information with people they know, if you think you know this person add them as a friend". There is a little box to check, the friend request goes to the person's home page and they have the option to block this person, ignore this person, report this person, or accept this person. You can also select what your friends can share about you by selecting options on the privacy page. I have mine set to allow information for friends only. That means if I post a picture then only my friends can see it. They can't share it or copy it, anything like that.

Now virus' are a different issue. But anytime anyone goes online they are subjecting the computer to the same virus'. That's just a thing that happens. It's sad but true.

It is a different world from the one we grew up in, there is nothing wrong with her having her own email or facebook account. Leave Myspace alone, not a good or safe place anymore for anyone. As long as she is clearly supervised, knows the rules, keeps her profile private and only visible to her friends, not to add people she doesn't know and never ever post personally identifying information or pictures she should be just fine. Make sure the computer is in the family room and not their bedroom, and make sure she understands that you will have complete access to her account. The world is becoming more connected through the internet and social networking sites and if you are still not comfortable, talk to some of her friend's parents and see what guidelines they set up and go from there...
Remember you can always set parental controlls and be sent copies of every email that she sends and receives. My daughters were on computers in school at the age of three and had email addresses by the time they were 10. My oldest is graduating college with honors and my youngest is graduating high school and neither suffered any ill effects from being exposed to the internet, email or Facebook.
As for the cell phone, you can always get her a phone that has numbers locked in that is made for children or set the controls on a regular cell phone. We have Sprint and they have the family locator, it is GPS that you program with places that your child is supposed to be at certain times like school, music lessons, etc and if they are not there you will get a message or you can activate the locator and 'see' exactly where they are on a city map. It's a great tool to have just incase something does happen...

Hi A.,
MY 10 yr old ALSO requested to have her own email & facebook accounts as well about 2 weeks ago....
SO, my husband and I seriously took time to weigh out our family's personal Pro's, and our (VERY REALISTIC) Con's--- PRIOR--- to her asking.... After our search, and after receiving Answers to some tough Questions- - - WE NOW had options to work with;
Here are our ANSWERS:
*1st-
Being a young girl, 10 yrs. of age :

- No... Nada... Nope...-
+
As my late father would tell me:
"It ain't gonna' happen, Baby-Cakes...."

**2nd-
We feel that an account may be created not too long in the near future:
WITH THE EXCEPTION OF: Strict ONELINE
RULES are absolute, Parental SUPERVISION
Exists at ALL TIMES for the child's SAFTY.

I know my personal options really feel right for us. I STRONGLY feel my daughter is entitled to play, and use her imagination along with other kids in school. I feel these kids' health, and social inneraction between oneanother is exceeding healthy& important---

I agree with you about your concerns. I also think that you have to be 13 to have a Facebook account. I would not let her do that, but she could do email as long as you warn her about the dangers of the internet and monitor her internet usage.
Good luck!

My 9 yo has an e-mail account that we check. She sends the silliest things on there. So far it has been little girl stuff, I think its totaly fine to set up e-mail as long as its monitored. As for the social network sites, NO!! I have a FB acct and random people have wanted to friend me, I dont think a little girl can make those kinds of decisions to say no. Its a new generation, look how many responses you have gotten, many people are on line and its a good time to start teaching good e-mail ettiquitte, and let them know they are responsible for what they type, just like what they say!

I would probably let her have a custodial email account where you can monitor it. Let her know up front that you will be checking her account. We also password protect our computers so that our kids can only access their accounts after I log on the computer. I know they can sometimes get on at other friends homes or at school but I would just set up some ground rules. I have a facebook account but rarely go on it so I'm not sure I would let my kids have one yet. You will just have to go with your gut but my feeling is that the email and facebook could both be monitored by you. My daughter has email but I don't think she hardly ever uses it. Sometimes she will email her cousin.

I wouldn't do it. There are all kinds of applications on Facebook with inappropriate content. You don't know the content of an application until you "accept" it and then you have to block each application individually. Then there are the advertisements on the side of a page. You can delete them, but once again, you have to do it one at a time and then not until after you've seen it. Then there is whatever one of your daughter's friends and their friends post-- words, images, links, videos-- all available to her from her home page. I want more control over things like that with my kids.

I do not think you are old fashioned and I have two comments as to kids or anyone having these sites. So many parents are very lax in letting their kids have these pages and the chances of them being approached by nonsense on the internet is about 100%. I just don't think it is worth the risk, especially at 10, she is just too young to make solid decisions I don't care how responsible she is. I also wanted to mention to you that our PayPal account was broken into through FaceBook in December. The perpetrator got $2000 out of our account before we found out. We then had our emails broken into in February (2 months later) through FaceBook which in turn connected them to all of our personal information. We are responsible about our privacy and couldn't believe that even after all of our precautions we still got hit. Just one more reason to not let a 10 year old mess with this stuff. How responsible could they actually be, they really don't even understand the concept of any of it.

In short, I think she is fine with an email account, just be sure you have access to it and wait for FaceBook maybe indefinitely. It really is not an issue of popularity it is safety. Tell her to make a phone call if she wants to connect with her friends. = )

Good luck.

The only way I would allow email or a FB page is if I had the password and could check in on what was happening. Not everything on FB is public (meaning, even if you have your own FB account and want to look at her wall, if kids are sending private emails to her inbox, you wouldn't be able to see them without access to her account). I think, in general, the computer should be somewhere in the house where it can be monitored easily (i.e. NOT in a child's bedroom) and that you should have all of the passwords to the accounts she is using. You should have some really good monitoring software so that you will know what she is sending/receiving and the sites she is going to (parental controls are a must). My daughter is only 4, so I'm not sure at what age I would allow her to have access to these kinds of things (although I'm pretty sure I would be questioning it at 10 too). I shudder to think of what they will have come up with in the next 10 years when I have to make these decisions.

The sad thing is that you probably do trust your daughter and for good reason. It's the other creeps lurking on the internet that are the problem. I would try to avoid it for now and let her start the summer without it. If, after a month or so, she is feeling like she can't stay in touch, then maybe help her set something up. This is a tough one. I don't have much advice except to say that if you do let her have one, be sure you are monitoring her closely (and also for changes in behavior). Good luck!

Oh, and I don't think there is ANY reason in the world for a 10 year old to have an iPhone!

I haven't read any of the other answers, so forgive me if it's just what others have said. I think that as long as you are involved in it, it should be fine. With the email, you should set it up with her and have the password and make sure she knows that you are going to be able to check it at any time, which should keep her on good behavior. As far as FB goes, you can set certain privacy settings that enable only certain things to be shown to certain people. For instance, you can set her profile up so that only friends can see her profile. IMO, FB wouldn't be too bad, but it would be set up again like the email. You should know the password, and I think that you should maybe tell her that YOU have to approve all friend requests (so that she's not adding people she doesn't even know.) Good luck!

I read this really great article over at momsmaterial.com - she also writes at BurbMom.net. Anyway, it is titled "What Parents Need to Know About Facebook" Here is the link if you want to check it out. http://www.momsmaterial.com/OnlineSafety/tabid/101/EntryI...

Personal advice: my son 12 has a facebook account but he does NOT know his password. Only myself and my husband, and we log him in when he wants on and I always stay actively around him while he is on the internet and I approve his friend requests not him. It is our rule and he has never questioned it. I think as long as YOU decide what the rules are at the same time giving her a little freedom - monitored of course, it is a fair compromise. Just my opinion. Good luck!! :)

We recenlty allowed our 11 yr old to have email and a FB account and it's worked out great, we moved about a year ago and this has been a great way for her to reconnect with her friends, teachers and even our neighbors and our family, her cousins, Aunts, her Grandmas and keep in touch with them. She misses them often so it's a way for her to still have that contact with her friends . Please keep in mind that we have full access to her passwords on both email and facebook and check these often, also any friends on FB that we do not know have to be ran by Mom or Dad first. We have the privacy settings so that only friends can see everything, and no public access, you need to be sure to go into all the settings and put friends only and if you do get your child a FB account you need to monitor this closely because FB is always changing and sometimes your photos can get out there. We were able to help her create an account and set up the privacy settings so that strangers couldn't get access to her information We also left her information very on her profile very basic, so again it doesn't give her address, phone, etc. Again, we talked to her about predators, and about what you write on Facebook. She loves to play farmville and some of the games on there and say hi to her friends. Many of her friends are on Facebook. You as the parent need to be involved through. I check her email and facebook about 3 times per week, even her deleted or sent mail to make certain she is not talking with strangers and her conversations are appropriate. So far it's worked out great. This is a technology age, as long as you the parent coach your child and monitor them and make them fully aware I think you are okay.
I think with any computer based program you as the parent have to be involved and keep an open conversation as well as eye on your child.
Just remember they may see things posted on there from others that aren't so nice, or may reveal things like Santa, if they still believe and your child will be able to see everyone elses profiles and whatever they are posting. That is something to keep in mind. Good luck, we were hesitant but have found it to be a positive experience so far and this is a privalege, so like anything if it's abused it's something as young as she is that can be taken away.
Our 9 yr old also wants a facebook page and we have not signed her up yet, she does not really have friends on FB yet, but she does have email and emails her grandparents and friends. Again, we monitor her email as well. Hope this helps!

I have three kids and I would support your daughter having an email to communicate with friends over the summer. But she is too young for Facebook and all the responsibility that goes along with that. On the other hand, you should get familiar with facebook and look up a few old friends or cousins, it is really fun. But also so that you can teach her how to be responsible when the time comes.

I'm pretty sure that you have to be 13 to have a facebook account, so to that I would say no. I do, however, think that you could find a good emailing site, where you don't have to be 13, that you're child could use. I suggest yahoo, a place where your child can e-mail, and even IM (instant message)

Thank you! My just turned 12 yo doesn't have phone (we will probably get when she goes to jr high next fall), uses the family email (if I am reading it all anyway, why does she need her own account?) and no way on FB! You know kids, friends one day, enemies the next. Any pictures that are out there electronically are there forever...you never know when someone may copy and send to who-knows-who! Story-at her 12th b-day party, one of the girls was texting a boy for an hour...I finally asked her to tell him she was at a party and to text him later. She did-and immediately he texted another girl at the party! Since when did who we are not with become more important than who we are with? The girls were comparing notes on how often they are texting which boy...they are 11! Imagine how quickly they are growing up...too much to handle at this age. Besides, it was easy to see how they just snap a picture and send it--easy to see how that gets out of hand, too, and inappropriate pictures get out there.

My kids can have their own email accounts when they are 8. They use them mostly to keep in touch with out of state grandparents and cousins, or to send those goofy emails with lots of pictures back and forth between friends. We set the emails up with them, so we have the passwords and they know that it's an open thing. I wanted that established in the beginning so that it can stay that way.

My 11yo started asking about FB recently, and that gets a big fat resounding NO here. No reason for them to be on FB at that age IMO. You are not being too old fashioned. Your home, your child, your rules, whether or not the rest of the world agrees.

My boys are to young to be asking about this yet, but I have a friend with a teenage daughter who's been online for awhile now (she started with a myspace page, and now has a facebook page).

My friend did allow her daughter to set up her own accounts, but with the stipulation that she be given all of the login/password information, and she told her daughter she would be regularly checking both her email and facebook sites. She also reviewed what was acceptable information to post or email, and what she expected as far as websites visited, time on the computer, etc. My friend then did login every day or two, and if she didn't like what she saw or for some reason couldn't access the account (password was changed or something), her daughter immediately lost her computer/email/facebook priviledge until the situation was remedied to her satisfaction. Her daughter is now 18, so she doesn't monitor her email anymore, but she did sign up for a facebook account herself so she can see what her daughter has posted on her site.

I think when my boys are old enough to ask about this, I will let them get their own accounts as long as I can monitor what they're doing. I'd be concerned that they would try to do it anyways, and I'd rather have them do it with me present than behind my back. And it sounds like your daughter is approaching this in a responsible manner, so I'd let her give it a try.

I think you need to go with what works for you all. I am not as familiar about setting up email, and thank goodness I dont have to worry about it yet for my daughter at 7. I think that when she is responsible enough I will not mind her having email and a FB with my close supervision. She already gets to go play at Disney and PBS websites. I have nieces that live across the country and they have had email and now both as a preteens have FB accounts. As family I love it and so does my sister. She has a paper trail to keep an eye out on the girls, they dont get to randomly pick friends or give their email out, and there are tons of blocks you can put up on FB. The girls also have their friends and all of the family as their friends so we all keep an eye out on them. I think with safety measures taken and when used responsibly that it is ok to let your kids have these things. I understand that its crazy that kids have all these gadgets, but also this is the world we are in now, kids go to school on line, computers are everywhere. But we as parents need to do what we are comfortable with. My big hate is cell phones and while my daughter will have access to computer stuff ( we are a big tecky house) She will be lucky if I let her have a phone until high school. Good luck with your decisions.

Hi, I have a 12 year old daughter and I am going through th same situation. She keeps bugging me to let her join facebook. I have allowed her to have an email account but I told her NO to facebook. I have been informed that the legal age to join facebook is actually 14 years old. As a member of FB myself I have seen the type of things that can be viewed on FB and I don't recommend it for a 10 or 12 year old child unless u are sitting beside her at all times while she's on it. Hope this helps.

Hi A.,

You are not being too old fashioned, you are being a concerned mother. I think email is ok if you completely monitor it, (however FB is another story. Jefferson County Sheriff's Department came out to our school to do a program on Internet Safety and it really opened my eyes. Google them and go to their website and there are horror stories out there not just about perpetrators, but bullying and identity theft. I would go with your gut that a 10 year old doesn't quite need facebook yet.

I feel it wouldmbe ok under certain conditions. Especially if she is a well behaved overall good kid who does not get into trouble much. However I feel like certain rukles need to apply. One being you need to ahve acces to her page not so much to monitor her but to monitor the incoming info via the wall, and messages. Plus for you to put certain privacy setting on their you both agree to. I feel that a child of this age should not be accessing these pages in the privacy of their room or late at night. Making sure he understands why you are putting these restrictions in place such that you trust her it the websites itself that can be dangereous. Good luck.

While I can't say that I'm totally opposed to a 10 yo having her own email/facebook account, I can't say that I'd like the idea either. I've been reading a lot lately that is pretty scary and I think you should have some serious talks with her about information that she lets 'out'.
One of the best resources I've found lately is Common Sense Media. It's a site for parents & talks about all kinds of media stuff. Movies reviews, game reviews, internet sites, etc. Here is an article from them that you might want to take a look at:
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/you%E2%80%99re-not-privat...
Good luck with your decision!

If you aren't okay with it, then don't do it, but perhaps letting her have a trial period could introduce you both to the pros and cons of the whole thing. On facebook you can have your privacy settings set to allow only approved friends to see your account, pictures and postings. If you allow your daughter to have an account, then also make it a rule that you are allowed access to that account so you can monitor what's going on. She may have a problem with the lack of privacy, but discuss the potential dangers with her, and if she has a problem with it, then don't let her get an account-it's a privilege, not a right.

If, even with all of that, you still aren't comfortable because you think she's too young, don't let her get an account. You are the parent and you only have these few years to raise her the way you think she should be raised. I can guarantee that not EVERY girl at her school has their own e-mail or facebook account...no matter what she says. Plenty of other parents feel exactly the same way you do. Good luck!

A.,

We will not approve Facebook or similar for our children at this point - ages 9 & 11 - but our kids do have their own email accounts. Look into Zoobuh.com. It is very safe and contains many parental controls, such as time limits and blocked content. You can customize the level of safety for each child depending on their maturity. My oldest is allowed to send and receive emails from anyone on her contacts list (which I set up) and our youngest children have all emails sent or received pre-approved before they're seen. I get a copy of everything every child sends or receives, with an option to approve, delete or block sender. We think it's a great way for them to stay in touch with friends and long-distance family, introduce them to the technology that they'll be required to know at some point in school, yet protect them from predators of every type.

In our house, the "F" word is Facebook! You mention her friends have phones. Let her call them to chat whenever she feels like it. It is so much more personal also. We have a daughter the exact same age and we looked in to setting her up a page and overruled it. At first she was upset and then I reminded her she could call them anything she wanted to "chat." She does have an email account so it's not like she can't receive jokes, etc. Strong vote from me is no facebook/twitter/etc. because of the potention for communicating with strangers.

Have you talked with any of the other parents? I know some kids that age that have them, but not many. My son is 11 and doesn't have one, but I have a friend that has a 7 yr old that does... only so the can play the "games" like Farm Town and such.. and her "friends" are her parents and aunts/uncles. That's it.

I don't allow my kids to have them. They don't have cell phones, either, though my 11 yr old has friends who do. I think a lot depends upon your family and your child's maturity level. My son has no need of a cell phone... and he is free to use the house phone to talk to friends whenever he wants... which he rarely does. So why pay for a cell phone? Same thing with email/FB. He doesn't do that much communicating with his friends when he is not at school. During the summertime, he calls them on the house telephone (or my cell if we are in the car or something) and they chat, joke, or arrange getting together (they are too old for "play dates", lol).

I personally think that it is way too young... as kids, even older teens, often don't understand that what they put "out there" online is "out there" for EVERYONE and forever. And they don't often have the understanding of what is not appropriate. I see things on the FB pages of my friends' kids sometimes (older teens/young adults) that make me cringe. They don't realize how it looks to a potential employer or someone not in their little clique.

That said, if you are comfortable with it, plan to monitor it yourself, and regulate exactly what she is allowed to do and how much time she is allowed to be on it... then I could see where you might allow it, so she can keep in the loop with her friends. But first, I would talk with some of the other parents and see exactly how many really DO have them and how much time they spend on them, etc.

I think e-mail would be a great thing for a 10 year old to have. But you would need to have access to it at all time. Have all her e-mail automatically forwarded to her and tell all her friend who have her e-mail that you see all of her e-mails. This will keep the cyberbullying down. But as far as facebook goes she would have to lie about her age to get on so that is not a good idea. The youngest a person can be to join is 13 and even then you would want to limit who she can add and be on facebook yourself to monitor everything.

I feel this would be a wonderful teaching opportunity for her and also could be a way to even improve communication with your daughter. Computers are obviously here to stay, and every family should teach their children about computer safety including the issues you mentioned like viruses and releasing too much information. If you decide to allow her to have the facebook and email accounts, spend a few weeks before hand discussing your expectations and concerns. For instance, perhaps she is allowed just 30 minutes a day on the computer, the facebook settings have to be on the most private, never approving people she doesnt know to be friends, etc. Get yourself an account as well so you are familiar and so you can check up on her. And finally, use facebook and email as an additional communication tool. My nieces, who are 11 and 14, have accounts and I notice a lot of times they will post things that I would imagine are much easier to write than to say to their parents, like "I had a really bad day because of this...." or even "I love you". Their parents will often post nice messages back to them. I love this idea! Good luck, whatever you decide

Well I am old fashioned and don't really think a 10 (almost 11) year old needs to be out in the cyber world. There are too many things going on in this world that CHILDREN her age don't have the life experience to understand. Everyday you hear about a young girl (or boy) who has been taken because they thought they could trust someone they met on Facebook or some other site. Unless you have a very solid plan for monitoring her every online experience I'm not sure I would be letting her put herself out there. You and I both know that just because everyone else is doing something it doesn't mean that it's safe or ok. Don't you remember your parents telling you that very thing about some of the things you wanted to do at that age?

I couldn't read all the responses - too many! - but I did want to remind everyone that Facebook's policy says you have to be 13 to have your own account, so it is fraud to put a younger child - you have to lie and say they are 13. You would be liable for any problems, NOT Facebook.
My nearly 15 year old daughter still does not have a facebook account - I don't think it's safe or appropriate for a child - too much risk of predators. She has had a cell phone for over a year. I think 12 or 13 is appropriate for a phone - I don't allow internet access for my daughter however. She does have her own laptop with internet access, and we can monitor that much more efficiently. I have access to her email account and can look at it to review the messages. She's had it since 6th grade.

Old fashioned? Nope. But I'm also in the "I don't care if all your friends are jumping off of a cliff" ;) category.

That said, my 7yo got his email account 2 years ago (for friends and family only, not for signing up for "schtuff"). He sets up playdates, writes letters, & sends pictures to his friends and family. (Those who decry that letterwriting is dead, are wrong. It's just changed.)

I *personally* don't see the worry in Facebook, as long as the privacy settings are maintained. Unlike a telephone conversation you can actually keep TABS on your kids and their friends when it's all on "paper". NOTHING that happens on facebook between classmates is worse than anything that happens in the schoolyard. It's just that we can actually SEE what's being said, rather than hearing the abbreviated version from our kids.

But, that also said... Kiddo doesn't have a facebook page. Email, & a Skype Acct., but no FB.

I have a 10-year old step daughter who has been subtly asking for her own e-mail account for the past several months. Her birthday is coming up, so I thought that an e-mail account would be a great present. Like one of the other suggestions below, I signed her up on Zilladog, which seems to cover most of the concerns you expressed in your post. I would highly recommend checking the website out.
And as far as being "old fashioned" is concerned, there's nothing wrong with being hesitant about exposing your daughter to all that today's technology has to offer. However, I think that the benefits of having our children fluent and well-versed in the world of computers far outweigh the frustrations we parents may have along the way. And if your daughter ever seems to be too engrossed in whatever's on the computer, you can always turn it off, shove a book under her nose, and watch how even the best techology in the world cannot replace the joy of reading a book!

I would say let her do one or the other, granted I grew up with having an e-mail account since freshman year in high school and did not get my facebook account until after college but it was not around when I was in college. Tell her that you two will set it up together and that you are allowed to check in on her so you need the password. Also teach her the safety of NOT opening anything from someone you don't know because it can contain something harmful to the computer which in turn will make the computer not usable.

E-mail would have less temptations or opportunity for cyber bulling then facebook. Facebook is a great way to stay connected BUT you have to watch over your daughter more (so many games, photos, videos). On the plus side you can set the facebook account up to be VERY private and you can lay down the rule that she can only accept a friend with your premission (if it is just close school friends then the list should easily be under 50). It can be tricky to figure out all the facebook ins and outs so E-mail will be the easier one for you to control.

In the end it is your call as a parent, what you feel best doing. Either way teach the safety of the internet (if you have not already).