Email for My 9 Year Old??

I personally think she is to young for her own email address. But if you are going to let her you should know everything about it. You are being a good protective parent!! Good luck

My daughter is almost 12. Hasn't come up yet. We just all share the same e-mail. I think maybe when they are teens you'll even want them to have their own. But for now a family e-mail seems approprite to me. But my daughter dosn't have a cell phone yet either.

Yes, allow it, it's only email. Don't give her the message that you can't trust her (and she can't trust herself). It will only make for worse behavior later on.

Thanks for writing in on this one, J.. I can say without any doubt that she's definitely too young - and also, if your gut warns you against it, then you already have your answer. There's no need nor reason for any preteen kid to have an email address. You can set up a family email address and allow her to use it while closely supervised, perhaps - IF you somehow think this is important enough to compromise on. And YES, even as a teen, you should most definitely insist on only one email address, to which you know the password (of course!) - it's not invasion of privacy (that's ridiculous if anyone tries to tell you otherwise) but as you wisely stated, good protective parenting.

Especially since you are a single mom (so very sorry you lost your husband) being more protective on such matters rather than less is wise. My husband totally agrees, by the way (so there you have both a mom's and a dad's view). We keep good protection/filtering on our computers and that is something I would recommend to you as a crucial necessity with kids in the house, if you don't already have that on your computer.

Once our kids become adults, then they can do what they will with the internet, computers, etc. but till that time it's up to us as caring parents to set good boundaries and gradually teach them about using the Net including being aware of the many dangers therein. Please don't fall prey to "peer pressure" in these situations, whether it's other kids pressuring your kids OR other parents pressuring you! Your caution and forethought is admirable, especially in a time when many parents are way too lax and careless because they want to seem "cool" to their kids and their friends.

Blessings to you and your little ones - and BIG KUDOS to you for valuing them enough to be a stay at home mom - they will benefit from your choice in countless ways (and your education will come in handy there too!). I too am a university graduate and a former professional who is a happy stay at home mom now, so I know whereof I speak. :)

Again, God bless you and your family!

S. M.

My 10 year old got her own lap top for xmas. She uses it for a lot of her school work. Her teacher assigns lot of reports that require looking things up on line. We have very strict rules on what she can do on the computer. There are only a few sites she is allowed to go to and she is not allowed to sign herself up for anything. When the teacher assigns a project that involves the internet, the teacher tells them on which sites to look, so there is no blind looking things up. She has email but the only people she emails are family. The computer is kept in the living room and we closely monitor everything she does. My daughter doesn't know about instant messaging so that has not been a problem. She is really good at following the rules and knows that she can lose it for breaking them. We have never had a problem with her on our computer which is why we thought she was ready for her own. She is very active and never spends more than 30 min a day on the computer unless she is working on school work.
I think you need to think of your child and set firm rules. You know your daughter best.

Dear J.,

No email, pager, cell phone etc. until high school, with good grades and conduct required. Kids grow up too fast as it is and don't need every high tech thing that comes a long. I also believe in more play and exercise, less TV and videogames.

If you don’t know the parents of your children’s friends, get to know them and see what you think of their parenting styles. You may decide to guide your daughter toward new activities and friends whose parents let kids be kids as long as possible.

Blessings......

PS....Very sorry for your loss, its tough not to have good male roll models for kids

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to address this and share my thoughts. . .I am so "old school" that I feel children are growing up wayyyyyy too fast; they are being given liberties, and exposed to things that some adults have difficulty dealing with. What is wrong with her friends emailing her directly to your account with messages (what? Do they live across the country?)and you can allow her to read them. Children see each other in school, play groups, and in other social settings, what is so important that they have to chat about on email?

My six, soon to be seven have friends that have cell phones and has been wanting one also. . .my friends rationalize it's for "emergencies only". . .WHAT EMERGENCIES? At this age, I drop her off at school; I pick her up from school, and she is with me or a responsible adult for the remainder of her time. . .it's not like I drop her off at the mall and she needs to call me, she is SIX, not 18.

While I realize we now live in a more technology sauve society, I feel we have to be responsible for how our children are raised, what we allow them to do and when it is appropriate; and that is determined by our own values, and not based on what other parents allow their children to do. When told what other parents allow their children to do, I remind my children who's name is on their birth certificates, (smile) and that my rules aren't governed by others.

Just realize that children should stay children as long as they can; life is difficult for some of us to handle, why put those "issues" on children before they are ready. Believe me, no matter how careful we are as parents, predators are just as smart and cunning to be as tech smart as we are, or smarter. We read in the paper everyday where law enforcement officers are catching predators in chat rooms, and using technology as tools to seduce children.

We have to get back to basics and back to "do not talk to strangers, do not accept anything from strangers" and other warnings that protected us over the years. And if your child is upset with you because you won't allow them to do/have/be what other parents allow, so be it. YOU ARE THE PARENT! YOU GET TO CALL THE SHOTS! This generation wants to be their children FRIENDS/PEERS, they get those in their own circle (which should be monitored).

(OFF THE SOAPBOX)! The ultimate decision is yours, my six year old daughter is allowed to play Sesame Street or other educational games on the computer, but that is with me sitting by her at the computer. Some of the sexual websites have such names, that one letter off of the intended site, and smut appears. We need to protect our children until we determine they can make decisions on their own.

Also, if you speak with the teachers, most discourage the use of computers (especially chats) because there is a computer language all it's own, and using LOL or OMG on papers, aren't acceptable, but the youth get so used to using "computer jargon" it shows up on paper.

Just my opinion on this subject!

I have a 10 year old and she does not have an email account. She uses the computer very rarely. I'm not aware of any of her friends who have email accounts.

I just read a couple of the other responses. I have one major reason for NOT giving a 9yo an email. When was the last time you got spam asking you to "watch me -----" or "get a bigger ----". There's time enough to get all those gross come-ons. Suggest your daughter pick-up the phone and call her friends. Michele

I believe it is a little young because she is not mature enough to guard her email address nor are the other kids she wants to communicate with. She wont understand that people strangers might contact her and she musn't respond. I have the passwords of my daughters accounts and she is 14. You will create a daughter that is on the computer from after school to bed.

Dear J.,
I am a single mother as well. I have been for 12 of my son's 13 years.
My son has had his own e-mail address for quite some time. When he turned 13, I finally broke down and let him have a myspace page. I was absolutely against it! But, I have his passwords and can monitor things all the time. His "friends" are his teachers, a dear friend of mine that used to be a co-worker, my nephew, and a couple of musicians who have myspace pages. (The latter obviously do not chat with him. lol).
The best advice I have about this is to be very open about the dangers of the internet, such as chat rooms. Those are completely off limits! And, keep the computer only in a central location. For instance, my computer is in my kitchen. My friend, who is a teacher, has her computer in the living room. Those just happen to be places in our homes where we can see what's going on at all times. We also limit the amount of time our kids can be on the computer....after homework and chores, etc.
I think the downside to e-mailing is that the way of the old fashioned written letter has gone by the wayside. I admit that I, myself, rely on it heavily to stay in touch with friends and family far away.
My son has a little friend in his class whose parents split up over the summer and she e-mails him for advice all the time about how to handle things going back and forth between her parents in different towns as my son does. It's all pretty innocent really. I think in this day and age, kids need to know how to use the computer and have typing skills. I'm pretty old-fashioned about things sometimes...I don't even have a cell phone. But, the computer is different and I'm amazed at how proficient my son is. He's a pretty great kid and knows that if he abuses his privileges by not following my rules, no more computer time. He is not to open anything from anyone he doesn't know, and, he has to ask my permission before giving out his address. He takes me so seriously, he has even called me from school to ask if he can give someone in concert band with him his address. I don't have to check what he's saying or who he's talking to because he's usually on the computer while I cook or clean the kitchen and tells me everything or asks how to spell something anyway.
Definitely insist on having the password for your daughter's e-mail account, as well as the address! It is NOT an invasion of privacy to know what your 9 year old is saying on the computer or who she is talking to. If she doesn't like that rule, then she's not ready to use the computer. Period.
Another thing you can do is have a password on the computer of your own that she doesn't know so YOU have to sign on in order for her to access her e-mail account. At least for now, until that trust is established after she follows your rules.

I wish the very best of luck to you!
P.S.
After reading the other responses, I wanted to comment on something Kay mentioned about the text jargon...
OMG and TTYL, that stuff....
I insist that my son use proper punctuation, capital letters, uses full sentences, etc. I let him slide sometimes if he's just asking a team-mate what time basketball practice is or something like that, but I did notice he was getting lazy in his written homework so that was another rule I instated for the computer. If he wants to correspond, he can do it properly. We don't text so we don't need to use that lingo. I know it sounds strict, but again, typing properly is a skill that he needs to develop. You can't send out resumes or business letters if you're in the habit of goofing off and abbreviating everything.

Hi J.!

My son is 12, and I just allowed him the chance to be on the computer. I gave him a "test" first. we had a talk about internet activity, safety, etc....then I made up a simple test for him to take. If he passed it, he was allowed to play internet games. He passed it.

We also set up rules, about what he was allowed to do, and what he was not allowed to do (my space page). If he broke the rules, he knew that it was a ONE-TIME chance, and would lose the opportunity for that game/chatroom or whatever.

Our agreement was that I helped him set up any password, etc.... and we write them down on one page, and keep it next to the computer.

After a few months, we had to develope a new rule, as he got so involved in the whole fun of it all and was on the computer ALOT! He was maintaining school and everything, but I just think it was too much.

He is allowed 45 minutes "free" each day, not including homework research (as he is in 6th grade). But AFTER the free minutes, he has to earn the other minutes through READING! Minute-for-minute he has to read to earn computer time :o)

He reads so much more now, and I am satisfied with our arrangement so far. He is a responsible young man who has maintained good grades, the sports, and the fun. He has not "burned" me yet to take anything away, and we are going on a year.

I rested my own mind by putting the computer in our kitchen/den area. This way he is unable to "cheat", and i can check his "history" every now and then.

Anyway, J., that's my experience with letting a child use the internet. It has been OK so far. I think girls are so much more ready for that kind of fun to "chat". Just keep the short leash to eliminate any chance of breaking a safety rule.

Blessings~N. :o)

I would say let her have the email but you have to put rules on the computer time. Set up specific rules such as you must have the password (I think the idea of writing the password down is a good one, it's not like she is going to need to worry about keeping people out), make sure you go over safety with her (when I was that age my parents didn't supervise me and I did somethings that I would never imagine doing now). Explain why she should only talk to her friends and I would say don't let her go on any chat rooms that are not just friends that she personally knows. As well, keep the computer where you can watch over her, check the history often and check the emails. However, tell her before hand that you are going to be checking the history and her emails. It is not an invasion of privacy when you have told her that it is going to be that way. As she has gone longer with an email without doing anything wrong then give a little more privalidges to her as a reward for being good and safe on the computer. As well, put a time limit on how long she can be on the computer each day. Have a timer by the computer (there are also some programs that you can get that allow you to keep track of how long a child is on the computer and can actually shut down the computer when they have been on for their alloted amount of time) this way when she sits at the computer start the timer. You may also want to have her set up as her own individual user on the computer so she can't get into your personal files and so that you can have restrictions set up on her user account for the computer (don't want her to accidentally delete all your files on a computer by accident).

J. let her have the email address.

If you have AOL, they have parental control. If you don't have AOL, find out if they have parental control for your computer.

I had AOL Parental Control when my daughter wanted to have email address and it was the best thing. I was able to put in the time she was allowed on the internet and the time she had to get off. I set it up Monday thru Friday that she can get on the computer between 7pm and 9pm and she could not get on until her homework was complete. If she procrastinated to get her homework done and she finished at 8:30pm then she would only have an 1/2 hour on the computer. And at 9pm the AOL Parental Control literally kicked her off the internet and she could not log back on until 7pm the next day. It did warn her to let her know that she has 1 minute to finish up what she was doing. On the weekend I gave her a longer access window, but she still had to get off by 9pm and she was still only allowed 2 hours on the computer so she can pick and choose when she got on. The good thing is that if she had an all day pass for the internet and she was interrupted, the parental control will remember that when she logged back on that she no longer had 2 hours but whatever was left of her time.

I was also allowed to block her getting any attachements and pictures and she was not allowed to open any links.

Check into it. I know there might be software out there, if you don't have AOL.

The main thing is monitor what your child is doing and know her password so you can check. Question her if you see a suspicious email. There is also software out there where you can track all of her usage on the computer.

YES...it is the "Norm" now
I have sbcglobal dsl account and i have it set up so EVERY EMAIL she sends I gets copied on! (she dosent know that!)I also have the pass word to the account and check it nightly when I check my own email...I also check the history of the websites that are viewed just in case even though the computer is set at a "child level" and it wont allow any questionable sites with out a password that only mom and dad have...
If you are a "mommy hawk" with the computer the email should not be a problem...
Good luck
BTW she is 10 and has had it for about 3 years

It's a high tech world J., but 9 is too young to have her own email account. You should be on the computer together at all times. You can set up game/learning sites with your account and let her play and view. The internet is a fast growing addiction and can create a lethargic child if she became addicted. It's too easy for mom to walk away while the child is satisfied. I'd wait until at least jr high before allowing computer access and it still has to be monitored extremely close.

Trust your motherly instincts. Do not be fooled or persueded by the world. The world will always pick the opposite of what a mother would! The fact that you are a single parent would give you even more of a reason to protect her from this. Predators look for children from single parent households amongst other things.

What on earth would a nine year old have to talk about privately anyway. I have a 12 year old and she is not allowed to have an email address. She is allowed to use mine anytime she wants, which is extremely rare. It works out fine. The few times she has had girls send her a note, they were chain letters where she was asked to answer personal questions about herself and send it on to five more friends. I don't think so! The kids that sent these don't even realize the scope of what could happen with this. I don't want personal information about my daughter floating around - everywhere- on the net. Nor do I want to give anyone else a chance to take her email and change the verbiage and resend it out as hers. Besides,time is priceless. There is no need for her to piss away her precious time on garbage when she could be reading, writing or playing her instrument.
The good thing about having her on my account is I can view what these girls are doing and how they are thinking, and can guide my daughter as to why it would not be prudent to partake in this kind of mail.

It's the rest of the world you have to watch out for! One thing I would never allow my child to do in a million years, is have a Myspace account. I would NOT advise open chat for any child under 18. Big mistake. Huge mistake.

Communication is an art, a dying one at that. But it is a most important one. Most kids now adays, when an adult says hello to them, won't even make eye contact, or greet them. How sad. Our best bet to teach our kids good communication skills is to make sure they learn it right, from a young age, and with our guidance. personal human interaction is the way we should accomplish this.

Ps.....It is easier to start out conservative and give more freedom later, than to try to take freedom away once theyv'e already had a taste of it!

God Bless you,
Gail

As far as I know - a child cannot set up an email (a parent has to do it for them). The sight (at least yahoo) will not allow it unless there is a parent okay and there are steps the parent must go through to authorize it.

I set up an email for my daughter, but only for her acting/modeling career. I have her password and she is not allowed to use it for personal nor is she allowed to use the computer without my approval. We are fairly strict with that stuff.

Many of her friends (and cousins) have phones and are texting (!!) at young ages and believe it or not a 10 year old family member is talking to boys via text and they are considered to be her boyfriends and she their girlfriends. I am strict and don't allow this.

I hope this helps.

I think email is a great tool for kids to use. It will get her typing (as long as you insist she use the right keys with the right fingers) and it is also a great way for you to see what is going on with her and her friends. My 13 yr old has an email and I check it whenever I want. (she doesn't actually know this) I'd set it up and then periodically check. I always tell my kids that as long as their under my roof anything they do (email,text messages, phone calls, their room,etc.) is free game for mom. It's not only for their protection but for the protection of our family as well. I wouldn't want someone showing up at our home that we don't know. Just make the rules clear that she is only to give her email out to her friends (preferably ones you know) and that's it.
Good luck!

It all depends. Do you feel she is mature and trustworthy enough? WHY does she want an email? If she is trying to grow up too fast, then I'd say NO she's too young. If she simply wants to have an email address, maybe that will satisfy her and she doesnt truly care about being on the computer all the time. (face-to-face time should always be more than online time with her friends)

NO it is not an invasion of privacy, it is good parenting to have her password. Tell her up front (set it up together) that you will be monitoring it to make sure she is using the computer appropriately. And that if she doesn't (lay out your rules, for example, if she is online more with her friends than she has actual contact with, if she is cyber-bullying (or being cyber-bullied), if she is emailing people she/you dont know.. whatever rules you want to set up) if those rules are broken, she is grounded from the computer then limited and highly monitored for a while after that.

I'd have my child's password and monitor use until oh about 17?! AT LEAST till 12-15 yo!! Doesnt mean you have to watch every email they send at that age but periodically, enough to maintain your trust and comfort level with what they're doing.

Once they've left home, I'd say that's when it becomes an invasion of privacy issue. :-)

I think most of all it depends on your child and WHY she wants it, and what her intentions are. My 6yo is frighteningly persuasive in the reasons he gives for something which is not always the true reason. Monitor for a while, give guidance and teaching (sharing tips and how to's) with your daughter for the first few weeks in how to compose emails and such. Teach her how to capitalize, etc. Teach her the value of KNOWING how to write well, even if she writes in "text" language LOL. Teach her how to communicate clearly and that what she writes in one tone can be interpreted in several different tones depending on how her friends read it - this will cause/allieviate hurt feelings which are so prevalent among girls (but boys need to learn this too!!)
Use this as a bonding time and make sure she knows it is a privilege that you are trusting her with, not a 'just because I wanna, and bugged my mom enough so she gave in' right. ENJOY! Kids do grow up, and kids do know more than we give them credit for, just be sure that what she knows more about than you think is the good stuff.

I'm actually kind of looking forward to when my son's cousins are old enough to read/write/use emails because he is the 2nd oldest at 6yo and while he reads very well for his age, his writing needs catching up, and the other cousins aren't quite there with their reading/writing levels yet. I encourage him to write but paper letters, ha ha not happening. (I type far more than I write myself so can't really blame him there.) So being email pen-pals with his cousins would be great! (all live out of state) Even with his classmates if he wanted to keep in touch after school hours if they also had emails... I personally am a big email user.
I will NOT let him use chat rooms or myspace/facebook - I am resisting that myself. Too addictive and time-wasting and the potential dangers to children - so not worth it.

My niece is 11 yrs. old and my sister in law has access to her email and reads the messages before my niece even gets to them. Don't be afraid to take control and it's good to take it in the begining rather than later. I learned that with my teenage son. Good luck!

J., our oldest daughter is 18 and we don't let her get into those chat rooms at home. Obviously we can't control her every move and she probably has one at her friends. We have two younger kids and with our oldest had 2 bad experiences with her and My Space. What we did was put on our computer Net Nanny. That automatically shuts down any sites that you have deemed not ok. That could include My Space, Facebook, etc. Perhaps you can let her have an email account, but she must follow your rules: you must know her password, and you will monitor what is going on in that account. Also limit the amount of time she is on the computer. We did try these with our oldest but she was determine to break those rules and so we took everything away. If your daughter doesn't follow the rules, than take it away.

God bless

Hi,

I am an online teacher for students in grades K-8 and I have noticed that most of my students start to have their own email accounts around 4th grade.

I did have one student who had his email account "hacked" by some "cyber bullies" who sent terrible messages to people who were on his contacts list.

I would follow these guidelines:
--She should always use the internet with supervision.
--The computer should not be in her bedroom.
--You or another responsible adult should be in the same room with her when she is online.
--Her password should be at least 6 characters and include capitals and numbers to reduce the chance of someone breaking into it.
--Talk about the dangers of providing personal information.
--Make "chat rooms" off limits and let her IM with her friends that she knows IRL instead.

I hope these tips lead you to happy internetting!

Navigating the internet is a life skill that must be developed. There is no magic age at which she will suddenly be proficient at dealing with cyber strangers, bullies, recognizing viruses, being able to tell which websites are reliable, knowing good netiquette, and knowing what to and not to put on a blog etc. Trust me, I know. I had my first whack at the internet when I was 18 - not because my parents forbade it, but because those were the times. Our parents didn't have this knowledge to impart, but we do. Let her have email, but monitor it heavily. If you have a tech savy friend or family member enlist them to help you set up controls. Someday it will become a matter of privacy invasion and you will loose the opportunity to instill these skills in her.

Both of my girls have email addresses. I have full access to their accounts and they know I check them randomly. It is a good way to keep in touch with out of town cousins etc. Email is not the same as chat rooms. My kids gmail accounts allow them to chat with others already in their address books. No strangers.

I don't think it is a good idea to monitor their emails without their knowing about it. That could lead to accusations of 'spying' and a lack of trust later on. I'm very upfront about it. They know that I check on their virtual activities just as I keep track of their actual activites. It is just part of being a good parent. I let them know that I can retrieve deleted emails and can see what websites they've visited. I don't read every email, just as I don't follow them around every day, but I do check pretty often and they know I could check at anytime.

As for predators getting access to your daughter's info/location, that is not a concern with traditional email, but can be an issue on networking sites such as Facebook and Myspace. My kids have Facebook (as does our entire extended global family so we can stay in touch easily, post pictures, etc.). With Facebook you can limit what is seen by anyone you don't know. My 11 year old has a picture of Thumper as her public photo with no location, age, etc. posted. People need to send a request to be your 'friend' and you have to confirm that request before they can see anymore. My kids have to give me their passwords so I can log in at anytime to see their pages and friends. They also know that anyone that is their friend must confirm a friend request from me as well so I can see their pages as well. If someone doesn't confirm my girls have to delete them as a friend (although all of their friends have confirmed). A huge percentage of our church friends have Facebook and the girls really enjoy sending messages and virutally kidnapping/flinging food at/poking their friends.

Just educate her about the internet. Let her know there are sites that are not appropriate for her (or anyone else for that matter!) so there will be rules in place to protect her and serious consequences for breaking those rules. Just like the real world. :o)

I think it's completely up to you. My daughter got her first email when she was 9 (she's turning 10 next week). I require that I have the password (I actually helped her pick out an email 'name' and a password--did it together!) and I have rules. I have to know who she is emailing and when (must ask permission), she's not allowed to chat with anyone she does not know (she only uses the chat that is actually on her email, for example, you can use yahoo messenger in your email, or use a chat in your gmail also). She has to also ask permission to 'add' someone to her email address or chat. I have a 14 y/o also, and I have the same rules with her as well--she's a freshman in highschool and completely fine with it. :-) Really, it's up the parent, and remind them if they are going to have an email, that you are allowed to log in and check it if you feel the need. Oh, and fyi--we homeschool, so my kids only chat with other friends that I personally know, and aunt/uncle, grandparents....)
Good Luck with your decision!

J.,

I personally wouldn't let a nine year old have their own email address. I think it is too easy for predators and criminals to get access to your personal information. IF you do decide to let her have one, YES--you should know the password and you should know how much information she will be putting on her profile. You can easily look up someone's profile and see where they live, their phone number, and their likes/dislikes etc. I think you need to be extremely cautious if you decide to allow this. Why not encourage her to talk on the phone instead?

Just my 2 cents.

Take care,

Molly

I feel it's young, too. But I know my son's grandma has wanted to email him before. I just have her send it to me, and let him read it.

If you do let her, I would definitely have access to her password. You can set up a parental block on your computer also. (My husband did this on ours) Look on-line for info.

Whatever you do, make sure you monitor! It's not an invasion of privacy - especially at this age. Let her know you'll be monitoring, and then you don't have to feel like you're sneaking around.

And just to add in, I know my niece started using her own email when she was 13.

Good luck!

Hi J.,
My daughter is 9 and has had email since last year, I not only check it all the time( that she doesn't know about) (there is no privacy at 9 when there are things they should not see or know about yet) , but also know the password and set lots of rules. I only let her use my computer so I can track where she has been and see what and who she has sent email to. She knows that at any time she breaks the rules, the email address is gone and computer use. I also sit with her when she is going onto her email and first check for the email that is not for children, before she can look at it. So far it has worked well for me. Hope this helps you.

I have been wondering the same about my seven year old granddaughter. What I have decided is that I don't think I'll let her have an e-mail address right away and when I do, I will set it up myself and I will have the password and I will most definitely check who she is writing to and receiving e-mails from. I don't think I will read the e-mail for content as long as I know the sender/recipient. I just want to know who she is corresponding with but I don't want to invade her little privacy. I also will never allow my granddaughter in a chat room. I have made it very clear to her and my other grandchildren who use my computer that chat rooms are not allowed. If they want to make a friend, they can go outside and make a friend face-to-face. There is absolutely no need to have chat room friends and they are just too dangerous. So, my advice is set up the e-mail account yourself, monitor it daily and no chat rooms.

Look for an email with FREE Pop3...GMAIL is one. Then you can use Outlook or Thunderbird...they are email clients that bring the email directly to your desktop so you don't have to open any other browsers(thus are not subject to chat rooms, etc). They do not have banners or ads on them & they are accessible to anyone (you do not have to type in a password every time you open it). Use it as a project you can do together, have her help you set it up, or even better, help HER set it up. Make a deal with her that she is to only have a certain amount of time per day to use it & let her know you will not 'snoop' through her emails, but that you do reserve the right to look in the event of 'emergencies'. Chances are if you have the computer in a high traffic area, she will not want to sit there all night with you and her siblings there anyway. To encourage 'appropriate' email use, set up an email of your own if you don't have one and exchange emails with her once and a while. As she gets older, she will want to be on the phone a million hours a day, so maybe this type of communication will help cut back some of that teenage chatter!
If you are interested in the Pop3 eamil, just google search 'Pop3 Gmail' or something similar

Everyone has their own boundries so you'll have to decide what you are comfortable doing. That being said, we have set up an email account for our 8 year old. Hotmail can do a free account that you can set all the parental controls on. We made it so he can only receive emails from people in his contact book and that all junk is automatically deleted. He's had great fun emailing us and his friends. In terms of getting too much time our family has something called "technology time". It includes all television, movies, video games and now internet use. Each child gets a half hour a day automatically for down time and can earn more by doing homework. My son has given up televsion in favor of email (helps his spelling) and video games (only rated g and interactive) which I think is great!

I have a 10 year old son and he loves loves loves the internet. He has an email account and he knows to only respond to emails from people he knows. He and most of his friends are on gmail, and he's allowed to chat with them ONLY on gchat. I have his password - I think at this age it's essential, and not an invasion of privacy at all - and when I know he's chatting, I check on him to ensure that he's only talking to people I know of.

Outside of email and chat, he knows what websites are OK to go to and which are not, and he tends to stick with those. I have coached him on how Google searches can lead to things you may not have been looking for, and to let me know immediately if he encounters a website that doesn't look right or has adult content on it. It helps that we have laptops at home and he and his older brother are only allowed to use them in public rooms - no hiding in your room with the computer.

This takes monitoring and vigilance, but it's great to see my son learning new skills and getting comfortable with the internet.

I would ask her why she needs her own E-mail address. If the idea is just to communicate with her friends, she could easily do that with yours. Some of the game sites that are kid-friendly want them to register with an E-mail address, so that may be part of the motivation as well.

I have always asked for passwords from my kids for E-mail, as well as sites that they are registered to so that I can check what they are doing online. I think they stay within the rules because they know I do check up on what they are doing. I do not think that is an invasion of privacy, but simply a way to keep them safe.

We don't have it, but there is alot of software out there that will block potentially dangerous sites for kids, so you might look into that option as well.

Either way, if you haven't already, you need to have a frank discussion with your daughter and talk about the dangers of the Internet. Most kids don't see it as a place where the "stranger danger" rules apply.

Let her have her own email, but set rules and make sure you have access to it and monitor it. There are some programs out there that block programs etc. on your computer when she is on, look into it. My 8 year old nephew has his own email and my sister has the computer in the family room, sets the time he can be on it, logs him in and out, and reviews it. We need to watch our kids with this technology, but don't forget what it was like when you were 9 years old. Trust her til she gives you a reason not to.

Hi J., you have to do what you feel comfortable with. My daughter is 13 -- we JUST let her get a facebook, which I monitor. If you do let her get email, i would tell her you will be monitoring her email and also have a discussion about internet safety. It's amazing how (wonderfully so) sheltered our kids are. I think that you have to monitor her email just because of all of the spam, many of it inappropriate smut, that will come across her inbox. I have a 9 yr old as well, she hasn't yet asked for email. The other alternative (which i did with the older daughter) is have her use your email address. If friends want to email her, they can send it to you, which allows you to filter all of the spam. My husband and I think we are pretty liberal, but have discovered that we are actually way more protective than most. We did not let our older daughter get email when all of her friends did, we weren't comfortable with it. I hope this helps.

Email is not the same as chat rooms. I would make sure the computer is in an area where you can see what she's doing whenever you like. No computer when you're not home at first until you feel confident she knows the rules. My daughter knows she is only allowed to talk to people online that she knows in real life. She had to be reminded a couple times at first, but she's got it and I can trust her to be careful at this point. She's 11. In the beginning she signed up for some kids thing on yahoo and used her own email address. I asked, "Are the people who work at yahoo strangers or people you know?" Her eyes got huge and she never did that again. Just takes a lot of explaining about the rules. Good luck! C.

Wow, you've got a lot of responses. I'm not sure if this is a duplicate, but I told my friend about your question and this is what her friend does, "My friend has her computer with Spyware- she gets up sometimes at 2am to check their computer and it shows every single web page, email etc then anyone in her home has viewed, read ,sent…her kids don’t know…."
I think 9 isn't too young to have email, but I think it needs to be watched. There are scary people out there!
Best of luck,
C.

My 10 year old has had an email address for 2 years. She emails her aunts and grandparents mostly. She gets some emails from friend but knows that i will be checking all of them. email is different from chat rooms which she is not allowed to do. That is years and years away. She has no cell phone too. She has borrowed mine to start to earn that but that is years off too. For safety reasons my husband taught her to text so she likes to text messages for me and to her dad using my phone. I like the fact that she practices her typing, practices her writing and stays in tough with people far off. (one email buddy moved to Switzerland, another to Jordan)

My daughter is 9 too and has her own email address. I have the computer in an area where I can see exactly what she is doing. I check her emails before she does and I always check her outgoing emails that she has written. She writes to a few close friends and grandparents. She isn't permitted to go to chat rooms. I sit next to her whenever she searches the internet. I watch the computer use very closely.

Hi J.~

We have a 9 yr old daughter (my stepdaughter) and she has email. I started it for her mainly so that my husband and I could have a lot of communication with her when she isn't with us. We know her password, but that is really because I set up her account for her. We have given her a set of rules with regards to the internet and let her know that it is a privilege that can be taken away if she doesn't follow those rules. We also limit the amount of time she spends on the computer and we know who her "contacts" are. In this growing technology age, it isn't uncommon for young kids to have email. As long as you are clear on rules, usage, etc., she should be fine. I really love getting emails from my little princess and it is fun to communicate with her in a different way. Good luck!

J.- perfect question... this is the same question I have been going back and forth with- and this is my two cents on this issue.
Your child is just that - a child.
Email? what is email? what is the point of email? The big deal is not having a computer or having computer access in your home- the question is more maturity level.
Difference between my kids is that = boys/girls.. i have boys agest 9/7 and they have been to sleep overs and the such at their friends house. When they can call me and let me know what they are doing, and keep me in touch with when they are coming home- - that to me seems like independence and the responsibility is there. If your daughter can do that, and call you at the time you need her to and have that maturity level to understand you are the parent and that you rule- give her the right to have her private account.
You know your daughter better than anyone!! You know if she is trustworthy, and you know if this is okay. Under 18- remember there is no privacy with your children. That is the problem nowadays, parents think that "I can't go into my kids room cause it is THEIR room" o please. I pay for that room, and I have a right to know what my children are doing.. so you have the ultimate decision. All this advice is awesome, each and everyone of them-
But your decision is just that - YOUR decision. This is your kid, make her prove to you that email is very needed.
Just an FYI- we dont' have a computer at home, but if we did, I would let them use my email address until I knew the trust, accountability and responsibility were there. Good luck and I am sure you will make the right decision- and if you don't make the right decision right now- hey, we are not perfect parents, no one is.. so don't stress about it!! Pray and God will comfort your thoughts, until then take care.

Hi J., kids these days just want to do so much. I don't think there is anything wrong with her having an email account. I would set it up with her, and make sure you know everything. There are so many programs you can get to child proof your computer. I would look into those. I would also give her a time frame when she can be on the computer. Good Luck

Hi J.,
My 6 year old daughter and her friends all have e-mail addresses. (Which is hilarious to me, since they are all in first grade and can barely write anyway...) Since they only have each others' e-mail addresses, I think it's ok. I don't let her go onto any chat sites. There's no need for her to be talking to people she doesn't know in real life. Right now my daughter is young enough that she actually wants me to read what she is writing, but I'm not sure how I would feel about it if she didn't want me to read her e-mail. Perhaps you can set up the account for her so you already know the password, and make a rule that she can only e-mail people she knows in real life. Just like talking on the phone, right? I don't know - I'm curious what the other moms have to say on this subject!