Momma Paranoia Anyone?

Not alone! In fact, I've felt/acted pretty identically to how you describe for 8 and a half of the past 9 years.

I've become a bit more relaxed fairly recently, since my son got sick. With a very real chance of him dying these past few months I had to come up with a "plan". Technically I have 2, since I can only imagine my headspace. Without going into details, he dies, I die. I don't want to live without him, and I'm officially choosing not to. Not that I'd tell anyone that outside of cyberspace. But I'm ready. Lawyers have drawn up all my papers so everything goes to whom I want it to go to, my affairs are all in order. I'm good to go... whether it's plan A or plan B.

We're home now, and things are going fairly well. But I've found that an unintended side effect from plans A&B is that I'm no longer as lost when he's elsewhere with other people. Which is totally WEIRD. I keep waiting for the fear and 10,000 possibilities to stream through my head, but they don't.

As always, not recommending others do this, just I what I did.

Yep! This was me, especially before I started my anti-depressants. I couldn't leave them, and I couldn't live without them, so yeah, all together or I'll get worried!

Except for your kids ages, i would have thought i wrote that! While i wouldnt wish this fear on other people it is nice to know i am not alone. All i can say is that i do alot of praying when im not with my kids.

I am the same way too. I've experienced alot of tragedy in my life, so I'm one of those people who sadly knows, "It can happen to you" I panic if I'm laying in bed and think I forgot to lock the doors, what if someone sneaks in an steals my kids! If my husband leaves w/ one of them I watch the door till he gets back. If he forgets his phone.....lord help me lol. I've left my 3 yr old over night 1X since my baby's been born, besides the hospital stay when I had the baby lol.
As a younger mom (18) I didn't worry nearly as much, and hell back then i knew EVERYTHING. Now at 34 I'm fully aware I know nothing, yet I know too much and thats why we worry! you are not alone :)

I hate to say it, but this seems a little more extreme than what is strictly "normal." Of course, all parents fear losing their children, but I don't think most worry about it all the time. Certainly not to the extent that you don't even like it when your husband takes them on errands. I would be like, "House to myself - whoo hoo!"

Maybe talk to your doctor about this?

I am like this too sometimes, and like you, I just carry on as normal as possible. It is way better now and I in no way let it run my life. I used to get panic attacks about stuff like this for the first 6 months after my daughter was born. Now it is very mild (she is almost 9), just fleeting thoughts about "what if". Funny thing about "what triggered the paranoia" stories. I am paranoid about school busses. When I was 6 months pregnant my oldest neice was in Kindergarten, and didn't get on the right bus. Took an hour before the bus driver realized they had an extra kid, my sister was panicking. They ended up driving her directly to her driveway after many crazy, frightenned phone calls. She gets off the bus and starts bawling her eyes out and tells her Mom "I thought I would NEVER get home again!". Anyway, I started crying and pretty much never stopped the rest of my pregnancy....... We are on house two and still live close enough to both schools to walk!

yes, if ever the bus is 2 minutes late i get a little panicked in my head. When my kids were very little and very sound asleep id watch to see if their chests would move to make sure they were breathing. If they get a flu i worry its some deadly illness.

i think we all have these thoughts....its our job.

As long as you dont keep them from their life and let the paranoia control you and them I think its fine....and actually normal. But idk... maybe its not...I have a touch of anxiety and a condition called bruxism (extreme night teeth grinding) My worries may be extreme, but iv'e always considered them normal.

All I can say is, you're not alone. My husband's cell phone wasn't charged about a month ago when he had the kids (3 and 1) and it took them longer than I thought to get home, and I just about went nuts imagining what could've happened. I don't think it ever ends. I think it gets worse when they start to drive and then just multiplies when they have their own kids someday. How do I know this? MY MOM!!! People think I'm overprotective and a worrier...they haven't met her!

I'm the same way. For me, I can see that it will stop once they are out of high school. It's about knowing that they can make it on their own without me. Then, I'm off to France!!

(And like the responder below, in my case it's because I experienced early tragedy, so I assume it can happen to me.)

I became so frightened when my first child was born that I didn't leave the neighborhood with her unless her father was with us. I was afraid someone would just take her out of my arms. My second was born after 9/11 and the fears grew exponentially. I was afraid of just about everything you can name: car accidents, terrorist attacks in the grocery store, their father losing them when he took them out, etc.

I sought out counseling for anxiety management and was on a medication for awhile until I learned some really good management techniques. Something bad might happen to them out in the world, but trying to protect them all the time, and worrying about things that are unlikely to happen and changing my behavior to try to prevent them didn't help anything.

I educated myself on the statistical likelihood of each thing I was afraid of, and was surprised to find out how relatively few kids are kidnapped, become victims of physical violence by strangers, etc. Many of the things we are afraid of have been exaggerated out of proportion by the media.

No doubt it helped when my kids started going to school and got better with each subsequent year. It also got better as I worked on my putting spiritual principles into action, trusting that each of my kids has their own life path and that though I can't protect them from bad things and painful experiences, I can love them with all my heart each day and comfort them as I can.

Good luck to you with this.

Me me me! I think like that too! Not sure if its normal, but your not alone!

It sounds to me that you're overly anxious. If this were me I'd talk with my doctor about anxiety issues and taking a medication to ease them.

After reading responses I feel very sad for all of you. I don't know any mom who feels this way and so I am taken by surprise. Feeling this way must be a real burden and makes for much discomfort. Life with our children should be joyous and not filled with worry that something we have no control over will happen.

I strongly believe that this sort of anxiety is caused by a sense that we can control everything in our lives and we can't. I like the saying "let go and let God." I interpret that to mean that we have a path to walk in life and although we can be safe and make good decisions, ultimately we cannot protect our children from everything. It's pointless to worry. Takes up lots of energy that could be used to be happy that we have a husband to share in taking care of our kids, as an example. He has to be involved with the kids.

Speaking of mama bear, being comfortable with our children's ability to be independent, being comfortable with their dad sharing the responsibility is also a part of being mama bear. We know that these things are good for our children and allow them to happen. We don't have to pay for letting them out of our control by feeling anxious. It's so much healthier to share our children with their father, with outside activities, etc. It's important for our kids to have these experiences. Why not relax and know that this is right?

I feel similar to this. It started when i was pregnant with my daughter. I was only about 5 weeks along and was driving and suddenly realized anything that happened to me would happen to her and I got worried about car accidents. After her birth it only got worse. My next big fear was that something would happen to me. I didn't leave my daughter go with anyone alone until after i had my son, and I was a single Mom, and then she spent time at my parents house sometimes. But I remember the first time they took her out somewhere, and I remember the time they first took both kids out. The fear and panic i felt until they got home. IT has gotten better as they get older, now 3 and 6. But I still feel it whenever they are not with me. For me it isn't so much we all go down together, but more of I don't trust anyone to take as good care of them as I do. And I worry about something happening to them. I think they are much safer with me, in fact I know they are, because other people are not as aware of each child's habits or whatever as a parent and especially mother is. I dread being away for the reason that I know they are safer with me, and my fear of something happening when I am not with them. If something were actually to happen, I would prefer it only happen to me. One of my big fears is that I won't live to see my kids grow up. But even bigger is my fear something will happen to one of them. So you are not alone in your worry and fear.

Yes, that's me. In fact, once we were camping in a tent in a friends cabin yard, and for some reason I woke up and looked at our baby (who was 10 months old or so) and didn't think she was breathing. I grabbed her and yelled to my husband "THIS IS IT!!!" like as in, this is my worst nightmare, and what I've been waiting for all this time... the other shoe to drop. and woke the poor kid right out of a sound sleep. Just Plain Crazy... thats me.

I TOTALLY feel like that all the time. I wont let my husband take the kids swimming (since he doesn't know how to swim!) and I am quite paranoid about traffic accidents. I may have more reason to be paranoid (since we had a car accident and my son almost died), but I feel the same way you do! If we ALL go down then I am not so worried. How awful is that???
My kids are 9, 6, and 6 months.
L.

I wasn't like this in the beginning BUT now I am :-( (he's 2)
Doesn't feel very good to feel this way!!!!!!!!
I'd rather be the one w/ him, as long as I'm w/ him we can go, do, Be Anywhere. Like I have the possibility of having Sat night and Sunday to myself (this NEVER happens) But that would require my hubs and Mikey driving 2 Hours alone together up to Maine to his aunts house ---- I'm SO TORN, do I let them go alone????? I'm SO Nervous about this, cant stop thinking about it -I dont know what to do !! ( I do have my nephews B-day party Sunday thats why I would not be going w/ them)
Your So not alone w/ this!!! Some moms should get together and write a big book ! You Never Really understand So Many things until you have children of your own!!!!

I do and it never stops. I also get nervous when I can't get ahold of my mom and dad.
My son left for bootcamp and I freaked. Then he left for Japan and I didn't sleep and kept the phone near me until he landed, 30+ hours. I used to have the house phone ring to my cell everytime I left the house, for fear I'd miss him, for three years. I was paranoid that the chaplain would come. I would watch the doors at church, thinking they would track me down if he or my hubby weren't coming home.
I am scared to death to let my daughter date or drive away without me, she hasnt' yet.
Now, I am comfortable with the kids going to our very good friend's house to spend the night, but i have known them for over 10 years.

No, you are not alone and NO it never gets better. Some people seem to sail through life without thinking of these things. But I'm not one of those people. My girls are 26, 24, 21, 11, and now my 2 year old grandson... I watch the news, pray all the time for their safety and get that niggling feeling about the what if scenarios.

From the moment I left the birth center and drove home with my son, I've had crazy, irrational fears!! I think we're all programmed to go into "momma bear" mode from the moment they arrive. It's so wild!! I would go out and stop at a 7-11 for a drink while with my son and you wouldn't believe the scenes I'd see in my head!! Cars crashes, stop lights run, armed robberies... It's intense. And I have a friend that I was talking with about this - she was the same when her daughter arrived. We both still are! Another friend is pregnant now and it's already started for her... poor thing. We're in the same boat, momma.

And the other - I can NOT watch the news anymore. I sympathize/empathize, whatever the right word is for it... with EVERY story about a hurt or sick child or animal. I can't even handle it. It's best I just STAY AWAY from that sort of thing.

You're not alone. I think some degree of this is *normal*. Mine is 8 and it still crosses my mind when he & my husband leave the house, etc., etc.

You are not the only one. I'm paranoid. My two closest friends were killed in a traffic accident when I was pregnant. I blame that as feeding my paranoia. But my daughter is 2 and when I send her to her dads a lot of the time I get really panicked about all kinds of worse case scenarios. I'm worried that if it doesn't get better as she gets older I'll limit her independence. It stinks!