Do You Honestly Believe....

My sister was nearly one of the 0.00009%. She was 14 years old and waiting for the bus to come so she could go to her basketball game. A windowless van approached and the driver lowered the window and tried asking for directions. She didn't approach his car, but suddenly the guy yelled "Get her!" and another man jumped out of the back and grabbed her and started to pull her into the van. Thankfully he slipped on the ice and fell, and she was able to run home. Yes, we have been overprotected & overprotective ever since. I don't care if the news never shows stories about abductions or attempted abductions. It is far too close to home for us.

I do not believe that locks keep things from being stolen or homes from being invaded.

I don't believe TV is rotting my kids brains, although I do believe they almost always have something better to do.

I believe that my child is safe to walk to school, but I prefer her to be in a group with other kids.

I believe that other women may be more aesthetically pleasing that I, but they are in no way better, and another woman can be gorgeous but that has nothing to do with whether or not I am attractive.

I believe the odds are highly unlikely that my child will be kidnapped, but I like to be SAFE with the precious things in my life, so I don't take unnecessary risks, just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.

I more worry about the person at my door being a Jehovah's Witness (no offense to the JW's out there, I just don't want the Watch Tower and hate to reject folks and their sincere efforts).

I don't believe it does any good to live in fear as I am a firm believer that my life is an ordered thing. If I am afraid it is usually irrational at it's base and the only thing to do to combat that is gift myself with some facts and education on the subject I am afraid of. I will even play the worst case scenario game of playing out my fear to the end conclusions and see that I can deal with most of it, and in other cases I can prevent much of it.

I honestly believe any of those things could happen to me. My life has been full of things that I would not want anyone to live through, especially as a child.

I laughed at your one about locking car doors..... Once, I left my car doors unlocked at Walmart parking lot because there was nothing in the car. MY BACKSEAT WAS STOLEN. For real!

I agree with you...to a point. You also have to know that things do happen and that you need to be aware of that and still be responsible. Maybe its just the insurance agent in me. But I'm not one of those people who think "it won't happen to me". Well, guess what, I have a ton of clients who thought that until they were in big accidents with no collision coverage. Because they didn't think they needed it or it was too expensive or they were safe drivers and it "wouldn't happen to them". So I try to make decisions that are reasonable and still keep my family safe. That means physically, financially, spiritually, etc. I by no means hide in my house and keep my kids inside so nothing bad can happen. But I know there are bad people and bad things that happen to GOOD people and try to do what I need to to protect my family without being too crazy exteme about it. You know the saying, "everything in moderation". That sort of applies to this too. You just have to be reasonable. Just my opinion.

I believe that all those things are possibilities and use caution... except the women on tv thing... heck I know they are better looking then my fat butt! But I bet I have a better personality! ehhehe

I dont think it WILL happen. I think it COULD and it's worth trying to prevent. I don't live my life in paralyzing fear for myself or my family, just rational, normal prudence. It's good to teach your kids to be aware of thier surroundings and take necessary precautions.
I dont go in for the fear mongering because I know that stranger danger is less likely to happen than being hurt by someone we know. I know 1st hand in my life, everytiime I've been stolen from, beat up, taken advatnage of or put in a scary situation, it was by someone I know. Sometimes by someone that was supposed to love me and care about me.

I think there is a difference between living in fear and living wisely. Why risk anything happening to your children by letting them walk to school, Why risk your car being stolen by not locking it. It doesn't matter to me how often these things happen, just that they do, and in my opinion one time is too many. I think living in fear means you are not living at all, being cautious, and wise to me is a different story. Just my view.

I am not sure why this issue has to be constantly talked about. We all know you are a 'free range' mother. We live in America and you have a right to be that way. And us 'overprotective' mothers have a right to be that way too. We are just as justified in our beliefs as you are yours. We can't change you and you can't change us. Whats wrong with a little overprotection? Better than being a Casey Anthony, or baby Lisa's mom.

I have a good friend who was kidnapped, tortured and molested. We were the same age, went to the same school, it happened to him and 2 other little girls. I was almost taken while walking to school, my sis and I got away and called the police, we memorized the car license plate number. So yes, I do believe that can happen because even though it doesn't happen very often, the fact of the matter is, it does. I know innocent people who have been murdered, who have been killed in drunk driving accidents, who has had their car stolen, who has been attacked by robbers after dark, who have been raped, who has been cheated on, who has been poisoned, whose children has died in the bathtub while they ran to quickly answer the phone, whose children were kidnapped, who had a home invasion in which the whole family was tied up and robbed... A friend is brain damaged form riding a bike without a helmet and got hit buy a car, I fell out of a roller coaster as a child.... And I do live in a good neighborhood in which these things have occurred... and all of these people I know personally.... some of these actually have happened to me.

And while I do not live in fear or paranoia, I do believe in exerting caution and living as healthy and prepared as possible.

I really don'tknow the real stats on these things, but really how hard is it to lock your car when you leave it or to teach your children to be careful? It's such a simple thing to do and it's better to be safe then sorry.

I don't live in fear, but I rather be prepared.

I think nowadays you can't be too careful. With increases in our population and modern technology anything is possible. All we can do as parents is to make sure we do the best we can.

No, i dont worry about kidnapping but i do worry about molestation which happens way to often!

Nope, i love t.v. and it can be educational. As long as i dot in enough outdoor activities and educational projects they will be fine.

Nope----most strangers are awesome

Since ive been robbed twice, after dark, in my city id have to err on the side of caution for this question.

Ive had a car stolen, and two ransacked that i had locked......so why make it easier by unlocking it?

I wish i trusted people enought that id let my kids walk to school, but this is the era of texting and driving..........they can ride the bus until they drive their own cars!

I dont worry about people at my door, 911 is easy to dial.

Seeing as ive had most of this stuff actually happen to me and i know how it feels i like to be cautious, but i refuse to live in fear. Whats the point? take precautions but dont surrender to the phobia.

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true."..... Homer Simpson

That your child is going to get kidnapped?

No, I read once that the vast majority of kidnappings are done by family members, usually the parent on the losing end of a custody battle!

That t.v. is rotting your kids brains?

rotting, no, but too much has a measurable effect on my son's behavior

That you're not beautiful compared to women on t.v?

Depends which ones you are talking about!

That all strangers are dangerous?

No, but most of them don't want to be bothered by my child. I thought this was the *real* reason we tell our children they are dangerous!

That you're going to get robbed if you walk in the city after dark?

In this economy, it is more of a possibility.

That someone WILL steal your car if you leave it unlocked?

Well, my locked car has been broken into a handful of times (since the economy went south)

That kids can't walk to school because something bad will happen?

LOL! Yeah, he'll get distracted along the way, not show up, and get me into trouble with the police!

That an unexpected person at your door is an immediate danger?

No, but most of the time they are selling something, and I don't want to hear it, which is why I don't answer all the same!

You're talking about me arent you??? ;) I dont care about celebrities, but I do live in fear for my children and leaving them motherless. Its not ruining my life or anything and I never put this burden on my kids because I know a lot of it is MY mind and MY life experiences.

I do fear for them, but I REALLY do try to not put my fears on them in obvious ways because I realize its not the healthiest way to be.

One of my nightmares is someone coming in and stealing my children while I am sleeping. Take a gander at this-

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/44950352/ns/us_news-crime_a...

I dont watch TV or the news a lot but I am glad I found out on facebook that there is a man in MY neighborhood trying to give kids candy from his car and luring them in to do God knows what to them.

I also know that when I was 10 years old one of my friends was kidnapped, raped and murdered walking down the street to her friends house.

Can someone PLEASE tell me how to NOT live in fear? Please, because Im already on medication for it!

Oh, and I cant tell you how many times I have stuff stolen out of my car! A-holes!

I choose to be realistic based on my own life experiences. What does that mean, well kidnapping is on my radar screen to a degree in that while in elementary school, a classmate's sister was kidnapped, raped and held captive. Additionally, I have known (myself included) about 20 different women who have been raped and/or molested. Also, I have known someone who was shot and killed. Therefore, while I do choose to be realistic, there is something to be said that when things like this happen close to home, you do become VERY aware of the fact that yes, it can happen to you. Sure stats might suggest it won't happen to you, but the subconscious mind doesn't always know the difference or adhere to statistics and therefore, yes, some do have fears that others do not. So no matter how much you educate yourself with stats, sometimes, fears are more embedded in the mind than logic or reason can ever reverse.

that said, I get your point which I think is why let fear rule your life. I am working towards that and I actually wish I could perhaps have some of your mindset of this no fear. Truly, I would be less anxious. :) why not share with us, what turned you around, did you always choose to be happy and fearless or did something move you in this direction. maybe your own personal experience(s) could help the rest of us..

my best to you and yours..

I'm a retired police officer and do not believe that these things will happen to me or my family. Yes, I've seen them happen to people but know that the chances of it happening to any one individual are very slim.

I do believe in using common sense. I don't walk at night in some parts of town, for example. I don't invite a stranger into my home. My car doors lock automatically at 20mph and I think that is good not only because of car jacking but because one is safer in an accident if the car doors are locked.

I lock my car doors in a parking lot because it's an automatic thing to do. I lock my car doors in front of my house but sometimes wonder why. I've had cars broken into 3 times in the past 30 years. It would be less of a hassle if they hadn't broken the window. lol I don't fear it happening. There is nothing I can do to prevent it from happening.

Same with locking my house's doors. I've been broken into a couple of times. I did get security doors and window bars on vulnerable windows which will deter burglers but if they really want in they can do it. I don't worry about it, nor do I spend the money for an alarm system. My neighbor has also been burglarized and they have an alarm system.

I agree that all too many people live in fear and the fear damages us.

Wellllll..... it is a matter of varying degrees, if you ask me. I am not naive to certain dangers, but neither do I live my life IN FEAR. I do what I want to, and allow my kids to do what I think is relatively safe (whether that means from others or just generally dangerous--as in physically stupid, lol). I talk to my kids about different angles of looking at things.
I think the Berenstein Bears learn about Strangers book is a great summation of how I look at it. I am AWARE of what is 'out there', but don't live my life as if whatever it is that is 'out there' is what is standing in front of me. The truth is, we don't know. So I am not naive, yet not afraid.
Do I think my kids will be kidnapped if I let them play outside? No. But is it possible? Sure. So they are taught what to do (or not do) when approached by strangers in our neighborhood. And what the rules about going into others' homes are, etc. Do I think there is a child predator in my neighborhood? No. But common sense dictates that my kids are safer by having knowledge and not being innocent regarding the intentions of every person they might encounter.

Is this what you mean? Or did you mean do I know the actual numbers? Because, no, I don't. But I know they aren't as statistically high as you would think sheerly based upon people's paranoia.

Well, I believe they happen. However, I believe they most likely won't happen to me, or anyone I know. However, I choose to cut the risk when/if I can. Meaning, everything is a risk. If there is a risk I can easily cut, I will do it. I have one child. It is easy for me to never leave him in the car. Although, something happening to him isn't incredibly common (but it's not uncommon, either)...there is a small risk. It is a very easy risk for me to cut out. It's not likely he will figure out how to open the oven when it's hot (I can hardly open the darn thing), but it's easy for me to keep him away from it. It's not likely he'll figure out how to open the dryer and climb in, but I do keep the laundry room door closed. I am a stay at home mom. I could pick him up from school It's not likely he would get kidnapped, but it's easy for me to pick him up. If I see an easy way of keeping harm from coming to him, I'll take it. I pick my battles, and don't live in paranoia over the little things I can't do.

I don't live in fear, not by a long shot. And, I don't see anything wrong or paranoid about taking easy steps to avoid something happening, in the rare chance they can.

Yep--kind of like the political climate. Fear mongering and false statements are the norm

To all of the questions above: No.

I do believe that people need to take normal measures for safety, but I don't let fear rule my world.

And yes--as I've stated MANY times before. It's the media. And I'm not saying the "left leaning media" or the "right leaning media" -- it's the MEDIA pure and simple.

The key is, be reasonable. Live life, but don't be reckless. The best laid plans........
If you lock your windows and doors, a window can be broken. Why would you make things easy though? I refuse to sweat my butt off at night so I can keep my window closed and locked. I have a husband and dogs. LOL! As I said, the window COULD be broken really, it's only glass. I try to lock my vehicle when I am done using it, and while out shopping etc. (I don't always remember) I do lock my house when I am not at home.
You can be sensible, careful, not reckless, and still live your life without being in constant fear. There IS a happy medium. :)

ooh R.....you know that i don't live in fear...let me see if I can answer all of your questions....

Do think my kids will get kidnapped? Heck no...I let my kids go to the park and the creek without me. I don't fear someone will take them....my kids already know they "pity the fool" who would try.

TV Is not rotting my kids brains out...XBOX is! BBWWWAAAHHAAA!!! We limit TV time...

Not all strangers are dangerous. Some are weird...but most of them? No.

Robbed after dark? OOOH PAHLEASE!!! I don't walk like a scared person and I don't walk like a W. who is easily intimidated...surprised?

Do I think women on TV are prettier than me? Some - yeah - but I've got curves and most of them don't....i'd LOVE to have their flat stomachs, but I do know that make up and the "right" clothes can hide almost anything!! Speaking of beautiful women - what happened to Demi Moore? I saw a pic of her on yahoo and she looks rail thin!!! And I LIKED her body!!!

If I leave my car unlocked? Will you PLEASE come steal it?!?!?!? LOL!!!

I don't let Greg and Nick walk to school not because something might happen but because they probably would get distracted at the creek!! We live on a golf course...and they love the insects, frogs, rocks, etc. that are in the creek!!

Nope, an unexpected stranger or person at my door is NOT an immediate threat. Do I teach my kids to open the door to anyone? No. They may not open the door without me there...not because I think someone might be a danger but because they'd probably invite them in for a snack or dinner!! :)

I don't play victim, doesn't suit me well!

I think I just follow common sense safety precautions.
Yes I lock my car door. The second week after we bought our new house I forgot and our car was gone through. They took some very expensive tools my boyfriend left in there and a first generation Ipod (I lhave to laugh at that cause it was ancient). If it was locked he might have moved on not wanting to make any noise, but who knows he might of just wanted to do a smash n grab. I have also had my car stolen when it was locked. I just look at it as why make it easier to leave it unlocked..it takes .5 seconds to lock it. I don't walk in our city after dark...because it's not well lit and not the safest area, but I do go out shopping at like 10 or 11pm with no fear.
I hold my kids hands, and taught her not to run away, go in the street, or leave with a stranger. An unexpected stranger at the door is usually a religious group, and I am more annoyed then scared (sorry just being honest). No TV doesnt rot my kids brain, honestly it helped with her verbal skills, and I have no plans on taking it away from her...she's getting a flat screen for her room for Christmas. Yes I am just as beautiful. All those women wake up with messed up hair, dragon breath, and eye boogers...just like me. All strangers aren't dangerous, sometimes its a stranger that helps you the most.
I also don't watch the news, never liked it. I don't and never have lived in fear, I use common sense. =)

1) Not likely.
2) Nope. If I want to sit down and relax, why wouldn't my kids want to as well? They were in school/daycare all day. Probably FAR more active than I was at work all day!
3) Yes, but my husband disagrees.
4) No
5) No
6) No
7) No, I think my husband and I are the only ones that tell her she can walk to and from. I remind my mother all the time that I was forced to walk 8 more blocks than my daughter would!
8) No. I have kids that have friends.
9) I don't know. My mother and mother in law are in constant fear and tell me I should be too. Um, no thanks.
10) Nope. I try not to watch the news now. I do see some online, but if it's something I'm fully aware of that occasionally happens, I probably won't read the article.
11) Nope. And I don't claim to. ☺♥
12) Do I think that there are many women on TV that need to eat a friggen pizza already? HELL YES! I want to throw a sandwich at them. However, I don't look at Paris Hilton and think she's more attractive. I look at women like Sandra Bullock or Helen Hunt, and think they're beautiful women and don't think I'm quite as attractive. Both examples I've used above, are attractive even without being dolled up or make up caked on. As a matter of fact, I think Helen Hunt looks far better without make up!

Just Thursday we were warned by our schools that a 15 yo from my daughter's school had survived that morning from an attempted kidnapping. There were police at my daughter's bus stop that afternoon.
The girl was walking to her busstop.
So yes I do take precautions living here. We are in the woods, there is a pedophile around our corner.

I lock the door at night, I have a shepherd (or two), but I do not live in fear.

Now I do know that the attitudes change with and without tv, so does the ceativity level of my children. THey are allowed to watch it on the weekends.

I am so much more beautiful than those skinny b's on tv.

If all strangers were dangerous I wouldn't be married.

I have never been in a large city by myself after dark.

Whoever wants Darth VAder can come and get him. But be warned, he gets a whopping 12 mpg. And we had a van stolen while it was locked. Locking a vehicle is not a deterrent to an organized, determined thief.

My kids can't walk to school because 2 of them are homeschooled and the oldest is in high school which is 10 miles away.

Unexpcted people at my doors atre usually eaten by my dogs, ;o)

So much is media hype, until it hits home. And no the perpetrator of the kidnapping atttempt has not been apprehended but he has been identified.

I get where you are coming from. We too, refuse to live in fear.

The media makes more money instilling fear into the people who are gullible enough to fall for it.

It surprises me at how some parents are so paranoid and in turn make their children that way as well. I see in in the classroom when I teach. Some kids are afraid to go to the bathroom next door alone.

It is a matter of common sense and education to me. Do things happen, of course they do, can you possibly prevent something from happening, of course we can but gees.... all this paranoia is silly.

I am not one to lose sleep just because hubby is on a business trip and I am scared to be home by myself with daughter, good grief... I get my best sleep on those night with nobody snoring and tossing/turning in the bed!

Notice that some people who "look like a victim" are the ones something happens to because they are not using their head.

Some people live under rocks and if that is what makes them happy, go for it. I am not going to let fear and paranoia run my life.

There is a distinctive balance between protective and paranoia.

I live in the burbs of Dallas.

I am skinny, in shape and proud of it.

Also, I don't think it was necessary for some of the posters to chide you and be rude. We all have opinions and they are all not alike, so be it... but grow up and stop the name calling.. this is not high school.

I live in Los Angeles. Yes. I believe these things to be true

Generally, I'm cautious. But I don't play into media hype AT ALL. I don't live in fear, I feel I'm rational, and I don't let it control my life.

Now, I didn't used to be so relaxed about things. I'm a recovering person with CPTSD. I was abused as a child, so I'm a bit scarred by that. My biggest fears have been home invasion-type (perhaps because my home life is now calm and happy, and I wasn't used to that as a child?). I take a few measures to ease any fear... like I always keep our outside lights on- that helped my thoughts a lot.

To me, what looks like Living In Fear is actually people thinking they can control things. If I don't do X, then nothing bad will happen. It's a small sense of control in a very chaotic and scary world.

I personally try to find a balance between making smart choices and living my life. As a young adult, I walked all over Chicago after hours by myself, but brandished a lit cigarette and stuck my keys between by fingers like brass knuckles. I'll walk through a bad neighborhood if I need to, but I'll stash my phone and strap my bag across my body and keep my eyes raised so I don't send a signal that I can be snuck up on. I've been fortunate that nothing has happened, but I don't necessarily think it's only because of the precautions I've taken. I've been smart, but also very very lucky.

And when it comes to my kids, I'd rather raise kids who can make smart choices in a chaotic and scary world. Go where you need to go, do what you want to do, but recognize risk and take steps to lower your risk. Living life is a risk, every day in the world is a risk -- recognize that and try to be smart.

As Andy Grove once wrote, "only the paranoid survive." He was talking about business but I think there is a nugget of wisdom there that applies to real life too.

Think about who evolved from our ancestors - people who knew to be careful around bears, tigers, snakes, strangers, etc. They survived to produce offspring.

The problem today is that we are constantly bombarded with scary messages, some of which may or may not actually apply to our daily life.

That's basically why I've quit watching the news - I read my news instead.

PS: I think women's focus on their looks goes back to primitive instincts too.

I don't know if these things are going to happen and I don't know they aren't so why not be cautious (I don't think its being paranoid) A side note: I lived in a big city for years and always walked home from work after dark, and never had anything bad happen. But yeah I am going to lock my car...because how hard is it to do that and if it did get stolen with unlocked door I would feel stupid.

My daughter went to school in the city of St Louis and yeah, I could tell you some gun stories....

When we lived in Shanghai, I let her go places by herself, just like the other ex-pats did & she ended up getting stalked (guy almost got into our apt, but another teacher came home at that precise moment).

I guess no one could call me a helicopter mom (anymore -- my SIL used to give me grief in this vein)...

I am planning to read "The Gift of Fear" -- I do pray a lot and realize most of the stuff that we hear about is hyped by the media. But we are given the gift of intuition --

--- my two cents --

ETA: and I hate the term "helicopter mom" -- why did I just use it? argh!

No
Yes
No
No
Yes
Maybe
No
Maybe
Leaving your doors unlocked (to your car or your home) is just asking for trouble.
Believe what you want but Fate favors the prepared.
Educating yourself is great.
Learn to shoot.

No, I don't believe any of those things. Do I believe they happen? Well, of course but the number of people they happen to is so few as relative to the population. Does that mean I'm going to go walk around the city with $100 bills taped to my clothes, no. It's important to be street smart and have common sense but to live in fear that these things are actually going to happen to you is just silly. What a waste of a life!

I have lived in different areas throughout my life so I know that good and bad things happen no matter where you live. I trust my instincts. Now I walk my daughter to class every morning because there are no hallways. The classes open to the outside and the principle is not always out there to watch. Her school is also on a very busy highway so anyone could pull in and grab a kid. I am overprotective of her because I was molested as a child and I don't want her to ever experience it. I also have a family member that is a forensic scientist and he has seen things I don't ever want to imagine. The people you would least expect seem to commit the worst crimes.
Now we don't live in a bubble as for my car if someone wants it they will find a way to take it, that's why I have insurance. I have had two cars stolen and one broken into. The same goes for my house. I was in my house while it was robbed when I was single, thankfully they didn’t want to bother with me.
I do not think all strangers are dangerous, I am just cautious when I meet them. I think the media is full of idiots that are pushing their own views (like Nancy Grace) and I can’t stand to hear it sometimes. And I agree that they want us to be in fear of everything so they can keep people watching.
The only stuff I truly fear is natural disasters, they seem to come without much warning and can effect anyone anywhere.

I forgot to add.
When I watch some of the TV shows on the forensic channels the parents of abducted kids ALL say they let their guard down and didn’t go with their instincts.

I do :(. I'm scared of everything! I know I live in a safe place and I can't stop everything, but if I can prevent something, I will. Always lock the doors, kids don't play outside alone, etc. On the other side, I am overly trusting of people...but yea, I'm a scaredy cat!

Wanted to add that I was not nearly as freaked out by things before I had kids. I was SO brave :o). I guess I try to live smart and cautios now...and sometimes it does make me scared. I'm more scared of someone taking my kid of breaking into my car or house than I am of TV though - we are liberal with what our kids watch and listen to.

I try not to live in fear of most of those things, but it's hard for me sometimes. I am paranoid, and i blame my dad for that. He is the most paranoid person ever and it drives me nuts that he made us kids like that. Thankfully i have a husband who isn't so we balance each other out. :) Plus, as paranoid as i may be, i DONT want my little ones to grow up like that, thinking everything is dangerous/bad/to be scared of.

No, I don't really think that way. We don't have a TV and have not had one for many many years (10 or more...I forget). And maybe I'm naive too...who knows. I did start locking my door for the first time since we moved back to the lower 48 from Alaska. Right after we moved here a friend's house got broken in to and we started trying to remember to lock our door. I have not locked my car or house the entire time I've been an adult (I'm 40). I know, crazy. But we've always lived in "the country" and nothing has ever happened. We now live in a very safe, very 50s kind of town (it's easy to make fun of it, but I have to say it's awfully nice when you have young kids to live in a safe town like this). So, I am pretty darn trusting of people. Everyone knows everyone else here, but I do try to get together with parents and get to know them before having my son play at their house without me. Anyway...out of all my friends I have one friend back in Alaska that I can think of who is truly paranoid and over protective. So, that is not a big percentage. I think most people are not like that. She is sooooo afraid her kids will be kidnapped or sexually abused that they are never let out of her sight (except when they are at school), they are not allowed to do many things. She thinks so many things are too dangerous. But I assume perhaps something bad happened to her when she was young to make her this way. I never say anything to her.