I know this is old but my husband kinda does this too. It’s soo irritating! Why should I have to have sex just cause he throws a temper tantrum! Literally he wants it every day or if he could try to get it twice a day. I litteraly dnt want sec anymore mabey once a week or every two weeks is all. He sometimes just lays there waiting huffing and puffing waiting for me to roll over and give it to him. I dnt then he finnaly rolls the other way all in a huff. Or like tonight he says can u blow me so I can pass out. Um what!! Dear god !! Nooo I dnt want to be ur stupid sleeping pill! Litteraly I can’t stand to have sex with him anymore! His breath stinks allways which totally turns me off! And I dnt know I just am. It attracted anymore. I litteraly have to think about some random guy in my head just to make it through. Sometimes I want to scream out that’s it I want a divorce!!! And don’t touch me!!!
Thanks for sharing your story! It’s comforting to know that I am not alone. My husband and I have been married for 15yrs and for the past 4-5yrs when he approaches me for sex and I say ‘no’ he’ll pout, sulk, give me the silent treatment, lash out at the whole family - and this will last for several days sometimes. We are intimate 2-3 times a week so it’s not that we never do. However, he will literally ask every day. So for the days we don’t, I’m saying no which then turns the no-to-yes ratio uneven and he will sometimes bring that up if I turn sex down; he’ll even say things such as I’m the one who’s in control. Don’t get me wrong, I do get it that men require more sex than women do. But the guilt tripping is making me resent him and giving me so much anxiety that if I don’t say ‘yes’ I need to prepare myself for attitude and tension.
This behavior of his was not like this at the beginning of our relationship. But our relationship has been quite tumultuous. I’m embarrassed to say this ‘out loud’ … The first 10yrs of our relationship my husband was unfaithful. I caught him every.single.time. I left him once for 6mos when I had HAD it but I decided to try and reconcile since we had 2 young children. He, of course, cheated on me again after we reconciled. From what I was able to uncover it was two more times. During those years he would say awful things to me like he didn’t like kissing me anymore. This crushed me because I loved kissing, but I got over it. To this day I never kiss him, I refuse. I’m even grossed out at the thought now.
Additionally, he would make horrible business decisions which ended disastrously. To the point of us losing our cars and homes. It was like a cycle. I could almost predict when it would happen. When our youngest started kindergarten (2013) I decided to go back to work and got this amazing full-time job. It was exactly what I needed. I gained my self-confidence back and eventually got promoted to where I’m making a decent salary. Last year he abruptly lost his job as a contractor (Accused of embezzling; was exonerated later) and since then hasn’t really been working. He brings in about $2K/mo which doesn’t even pay our mortgage.
2012 was the last time I busted him for being unfaithful. Shortly after that he started changing and being more attentive to me. I could tell that he really was trying. This was a problem though. When I caught him that last time, I wasn’t hurt. I was angry at myself for dealing with this because I know I deserve better. But it was very telling that this time was different. I think I made myself numb from all the years prior. I’m so frustrated that all those years in the beginning, I adored this man. Why couldn’t he have loved me back then? Why now? Our relationship seems flipped now - I’m the apathetic party and he’s the ‘pathetic puppy trying to get attention’ (his words, not mine).
But I also feel used. I’m now the main breadwinner of the household and he’s not even trying to find a better paying job. I’m also in college getting my Bachelors degree. He will make these HUGE decisions like getting all of his teeth pulled and replaced with implants putting us $30K in debt and not talking to me about it until it’s too late to back out. Or getting a Harley from a friend with a promissory note to pay them while telling me he needs it to ‘feel young’. Or taking his ex to court (putting us more in debt with attorney’s fees) to get full custody of their kid without even communicating to me if I’m OK with this change of dynamics to our household which has impacted us because his kid is a cool mess. If I were to say no to any of these decisions, I’m the one who ends up being the A-hole. He’ll oftentimes tell me I’m selfish and that I think the world revolves around me.
We’ve seen a counselor off and on and it will help but only a little. I think I’m done but I don’t want my kids to grow up in a broken home like I was. They need the influence of their father but I’m starting to question if it is healthy for them to witness some of his behaviors along with the tension between the two of us. I feel stuck and smothered and like I want to scream. I thank god I have my children and my job to pour myself into as a distraction but I am extremely unhappy.
My apologies for leaving this book. I truly was planning on responding to just the main topic of this thread but couldn’t stop typing once I started. Thanks for letting me release some of my sadness and frustration. This too shall pass. 
Men are seriously so annoying😠it makes me wanna cry! Girl i feel you! I have 3 kids been married 5 years been together 9. We have been through hell and when i mean hell i mean everything in between. We do good and than we stop… i have mental health issues, severe depression and anxiety and ptsd. I have episodes where i am sad for a week lay in bed i eat too much things like that and like this whole month i don’t wanna have sex. Like at all. ALL my husband talks about it sex and he gets mad when i don’t want to he thinks i don’t love him i do I’m just fucking exhausted. I am recovering from covid pneumonia i have barely had it for 7 days i am mentally emotionally exhausted and he still tries even when i was sick sick with covid he tries to. I was like dude you know that shit is rapey when a woman tells you no more than once and your putting yourself on her like wtf. Than he’s mad at me because i told him how it seems to me sometimes. Like i said no its means no. I’m sorry im not a sex addict i don’t need sex i am so stressed and run down i just wanna be loved just not sexually ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ª
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Men are seriously so annoying😠it makes me wanna cry! Girl i feel you! I have 3 kids been married 5 years been together 9. We have been through hell and when i mean hell i mean everything in between. We do good and than we stop… i have mental health issues, severe depression and anxiety and ptsd. I have episodes where i am sad for a week lay in bed i eat too much things like that and like this whole month i don’t wanna have sex. Like at all. ALL my husband talks about it sex and he gets mad when i don’t want to he thinks i don’t love him i do I’m just fucking exhausted. I am recovering from covid pneumonia i have barely had it for 7 days i am mentally emotionally exhausted and he still tries even when i was sick sick with covid he tries to. I was like dude you know that shit is rapey when a woman tells you no more than once and your putting yourself on her like wtf. Than he’s mad at me because i told him how it seems to me sometimes. Like i said no its means no. I’m sorry im not a sex addict i don’t need sex i am so stressed and run down i just wanna be loved just not sexually ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ª