Hi there, my son is turning three and the ped recommends this as the age to start going to the dentist.
I called to make an appointment with a pediatric dentist, the one everyone here recommends, and they don't let you go with your child! They take them from the waiting room and do the cleaning/exam and then bring them back. This is not negotiable in the office -- they say with 3 year olds it is best if the parents aren't there or else they are grabbing for mommy.
Is this normal to send them back there alone so young? I feel like I should be back there with him -- but maybe I'm overreacting.
Most young children do much better without mommy fretting away next to their chair. This seems to be standard procedure at most pediatric dentists, though you can probably find one who will let you go back.
I have heard of this before and I think it is really wrong. First, I won't be ordered by anyone not ot comfort my child. Second, I know my child and the situations to make her comfortable. Third, the dentist is invasive and I don't think being in the hands of strangers like that is okay.
I go to a pediatric dentist, and they don't make the parents stay out. My kids do fine, but I have seen them do exams on children sitting on their parent's lap. And they see kids as young as 18 months - 2 years which is when I started taking my kids. I have never seen a child hysterical, including my 6 year old who had 2 teeth pulled.
So, it is a myth that the parents make things harder on the kids or even the staff. I would never let my child go alone at least for the near future. And I know lots of dentists don't do that.
Trust your own mother judgment and knowledge of your child and don't be bullied or intimidated by a "professional" with a fancy degree on the wall. S/he is not really an expert on anything but teeth.
Every kid is different - some do better with Mommy there, and some might do better with Mommy not there. Keep in mind that kids may pick up vibes from you and if you are acting too nervous, that alone could make it harder for them, so maybe that is the rationale behind having parents wait in the waiting room.
Still, I would at least find another pediatric dentist where staying with your child is at least an option.
You can go. If it is just a check up. At least thats how they roll here. You can also be a stick in the mud and go in. They can not tell you you cant go with your child. Thats my understanding. It maybe there wishes you dont, they cant keep you from it.
My son had a bunch of mouth work done over the summer and I chose not to go because he would get really emotional with me there. If i was out in the waiting room he did ok with the nurses. since this is you sons first time, they will most likely want you back there with him anyways.
Be mama bear if you dont want him going alone. He is your baby:)
We had a similar experience with the one of the so-called "best" ped dentists in our area. I found the "no parents" edict to be the first in a line of annoying office traits - from an obnoxious, harried dentist to consistently rude staff.
If it were me I would run for the hills.
I take my kids to the same dentist that I go to and they do great - it is a small, friendly, extremely competent office and staff where they actually APPRECIATE your business.
I would never let my child this young go back alone. No way! They shouldn't be doing anything uncomfortable or scary for them to be "grabbing" for mommy anyway! I saw something on 20/20 a while back about some Pediatric dentist that did this and was doing some things behind closed doors that would make a mommy turn into a mommy bear! I won't go into the details but it was wrong. If they don't feel comfortable with you being there then I wouldn't feel comfortable with my son being in their care.
I take my son to our adult dentist. They have no problems at all with me and my other son being in the room with him. And just to add, I think 3 is a bit young really unless he is having some problems.
My vote is to move on, it's too easy to find one that will accommodate your wishes.
Best Regards,
Caroline
My 5 & 3 year old go back alone (at the last visit our daughter was 2.5) and did fine. We kinda pumped up the idea of going to the dentist & made it seem exciting. Neither my husband or I have any fears of doctors or dentists and try to make sure our kids don't get freaked out by them either. They were both excited about it & were happy to go back. It may have made a difference that they were together even though I wasn't with them. If you aren't comfortable with it though then you should find another dentist.
Oh, one other little tip that I hadn't thought of until the receptionist mentioned it; don't let them watch Finding Nemo around the time they will be going. Apparently lots of kids react badly at the dentist because of the dental scene in the movie. I never thought of it before she mentioned it.
Hope you find something that works for you guys.
Nope- I wouldn't send my child back into a room with a person I don't know without a parent with them at age 3.... nope nope no!
I don't care if it is at the doctor or the dentist or anywhere else- THEY are 3! Maybe I sound paranoid- ok... i'll be paranoid. I would go to a different dentist. I could sit behind the chair "out of view"- if that is the issue... but I would be in the room! (and no- I don't think that all people are creepy freaky people... I just think that a 3 year old should be with people they are familiar with at all times... )
Sorry but if I can't go in then neither can my child. I was little and had to get a filling I didnt know they would be using a needle I freaked I begged, cried or my dad to come hold my hand and instead of getting my dad the girl came back with an extra assistant they held me down while the "gentle" "caring" pediatric dentist drilled without giving me novicaine. I get anxiety just taking my kids to the dentist.
OMG I feel so bad for Rachel K you poor thing!! That's awful.
But on to this post, I would definitely find another dentist. I have a 3.5 year old and took her to a dentist when she was 2, we went back with her and she did great. THen when I went to take her again at 2.5 for her next cleaning she freaked out and I haven't been able to get her back since, but you can be sure I will be there for her to make sure she's ok.
I can't believe they would not only be doing new "scary" things, but take a kid so young away from his mom. They shouldn't do anything that warrants "grabbing for mommy". I just took my 3 year old to the Ped Dentist and not only did I go in with him but he sat on my lap the whole time. Although he didn't cry, she said most kids that age do. He was allowed to take a break anytime he asked and overall, it was a really pleasant experience. You know your child.
I took my 2 year old to the dentist and they had him sit in my lap. They do suggest that you let them do all of the talking and not to interfere, but I was there the whole time.
Also, I bought a book about going to the dentist and we read it for about a week before his appointment. While at the dentist, I would tell him, look there a chair just like the one in the book we read and things like that.
I love my dental office. They're not a pediatric dentist but they're still great with kids! They're so gentle and caring. They don't care if the parents are there or not. I always schedule my girls at the same time so I'll bounce back and forth between the exam rooms a bit to make sure they're comfortable and cooperating (never a problem). Then I'll sit in the waiting room. With my boys I'll walk them back so I know which exam rooms they're in and then I go back to the waiting room. There has never been a mention of not going back and honestly, if there had been I would have found a new dentist, at least at that age. That is NOT an age that you want the child freaking out and creating fear of the dentist.
I love my dentist so much that even when they stopped accepting our insurance, I have stuck with them and just paid out of pocket.
I went to a pediatric dentist as a kid and he screwed up my teeth by pulling some that weren't even loose among other things. As a result, I've never taken my kids to a dentist who basically charges more money just because of that "pediatric" designation.....
Our dentist is not a ped dentist, and she welcomes parents into the exam rooms. Too bad you live so far away! But I'm sure if you ask around you'll find a better dentist for your son.
Our pediatric dentist insists that we go back with them, even with my 10 year old!! It will be a scary experience with out mom! I would find a new dentist!!!