It is normal. both my girls go back with out me and it makes them feel like big girls and important. I have a 7 and 3 year old.
When my first child was 2, I started calling around to find a dentist. I started with the on listed as a pediatric dentist and they told me the same thing. There was no way I would send my 2 or 3 year old back there alone. I called some other offices, and even though they were not listed as "pediatric" dentists in the phone book, I found a GREAT one that does so well with all 3 of my children. The first visit was a "happy" visit where they watched me get my teeth cleaned, took a ride in the chair, looked at and touched some of the instruments, and then counted their teeth with the Dr. using the mirror and a tool. My oldest is almost 7 and my twins are 4 1/2. They all started going at age 2, and they all like going to the dentist. My oldest now goes by herself and she and I get our teeth cleaned at the same time in separate rooms, but right next to each other. I schedule my twins on a day that I can go back with them. I would keep looking around for another dentist until you feel comfortable.
Hi Jennifer,
I too would be uncomfortable with sending a child that young back alone with an unfamiliar person. My friend had a similiar situation only she did not find out about not being allowed to escort her child until they got to the appointment; I wonder if she went to the same dentist you have called. I see you are from GR. We go to Dr Novak (on 44th near Breton) and are very pleased. I don't think he is a pediatric dentist (since my mom and I use him too) but he and the hygienists do great with kids. I guess I can sort of understand that pediatric dentists' policy, but each child is different and I know that if I had my three year old go in another room with someone she did't know, put sunglasses and a bib on her, put her in a chair that moves, and start putting odd devices in her mouth, she would be beside herself. I was next to my girls for both appointments, holding their hands, and they were perfect.
I say try another dentist.
It is normal and the children do just fine. If you are needed they come get you.
It is a part of growing up, mom. We have to learn to let go in small steps.... this is a small step. Your little one will be fine.
I konw it is hard letting go... I have a 16 yr old girl now driving... Scares the he$$ out of me but I know I have to trust that I've taught her well and let go.
Yes, you are overreacting...
Wow, that's not even something I would even CONSIDER. We're going at the end of the month for his first cleaning and something tells me my son is going to like it. Either way both mom and dad will be with him.
The only time I'll let my son go alone is when HE tells me it's okay.
I totally agree with you on wanting to be back there. I think it should be a fun thing not a scary one and if they don't let you back I think that would be very upsetting for a 3 year old. I would look for someone that is more kid friendly if I were you.
Our pediatric denistry offices do that as well. I got to go with him the first time because he was only 18mo and chipped a tooth. After that, he went alone (3yrs old now). Typically, they say kids usually begin regular visits between the ages of 3 and 5 when they enter school. I personally don't have a problem with that policy. They are pediatric specialists and are very well accustomed to treating little ones. I know my son would be wanting me to hold him, squirming around and not cooperating if I were with him. Knowing I am right outside waiting for him, he does much better. The dentist and hygienest are very good at communicating everything to him in a way he can understand, they are gentle with him, entertain him, and involve him in everything that happens. He said he gets to hold the "tools" before they use them and he gets to watch it all on tv. It is always hard to let a little one gain more independence and control, but it is good for them. I could tell he felt good about the role he played in the whole process. He talked about it all the way home with great pride.
I did meet/talk to the staff before scheduling his first appointment. I needed to know I could feel comfortable with them caring for my "baby" before I would just send him back alone. They also say, this is their "general policy" and they will allow parents back if they wish to accompany thier child, but will also warn of how it can make the experience more difficult for both of them.
I take my children to a regular dentist and they suggested my children go in the examination room when I had my examination so they had an idea of what took place.
Personally I wouldn't go to that dentist office if that is their policy.
Why not have them go to your dentist?
My dentist let me come back the very first time with my son, just to ease the anxiety. After that, he went by himself which they said was best. I would definitely want to go back the very first time just to get him settled and make sure he's not terrified. I would look for a different dentist if it's "non negotiable". Every child is different. They shouldn't make general rules like that and not allow for exceptions.
i absolutely would not allow that. my 3 kids go to the same dentist as my husband and i, we have never made an issue of going to the dentist, they love going. my boys(5 and 8) had appts 2 days ago, so of course my just turned 2yo girl had to come with us, so we were in the room while 5yo got his teeth cleaned, she insisted on sitting on the chair with him and watching - when he was done, she moved into his spot for "her turn". lol! the hygeniest went ahead and did a full cleaning on my teeny tiny 20lb 2yo girl, and she loved every minute of it. dentist came to check her out as well, he did a full exam of her teeth, the whole office was cracking up. the only problem came when she had to get out of "her" chair so the 8yo could have his turn. so she sat on the knee part of the chair to watch him as well. clearly, my 3 kids have no fear of the dentist, that said, i still wouldn't go someplace where i wasnt "allowed" to go back. last time we went, my boys had two dif hygentists at the same time, so i went back and forth from one room to another. i'd prob "let" my boys go back alone at this office if they wanted, but that's a whole dif animal from being prohibited from going back.
That is normal I think. My kids all started with a pediatric dentist at age 2 1/2 and they also get them from the waiting room and don't like the parents to go back. Trust me, the kids really do better that way.
working with 3 &4 years old i agree they do better with out the parents in most cases but you know your child best and how they react to strangers. also before you take him to have him go alone you should take him first and have him sit on your lap or near you so he can see you get your teeth cleaned and so he or she will know what to expect . also there are several good books about going to the dentist to read to your child
No, it's what everyone does. If you don't want to do this then keep calling. Our pediatric dentist and every other pediatric dentist in this practice takes back mom and dad and siblings too. It's sometimes a room full of people. I wouldn't let them make my kids go it alone.
Hi Jennifer, I haven't read anyone elses responses yet, but we, too, are in the GR area and go to Amy DeYoung, pediatric dentist. I was nervous at first because my mom works at a dentist office and they are so lax there that my kids could sit on my mom's lap while getting their teeth cleaned. The ped. office is wonderful. My kids LOVE going there. They have a special waiting room in the back for the kids too and to them, it's their "own special place". I understand that you have some reservations, and that is totally normal. They do let you go back the first time and see how things run, etc. and to get an update of the visit, but after that, they go back on their own. Give it a chance...it's really not so bad. I hope you find something that works for you.
I don't know what the norm is. The one my kids go to allows the parents to come back to sit with them. I don't think you are overreacting, I would just look for someone else.
NO!!!! Three year olds cannot defend themselves against other children let alone adults with issues that is why we are the Parents!!! My three year old went to a new pediatric dentist when we moved. I was with my son in the exam room. My son was scared and started crying. The dentist informed him that he would call his father if he did not stop and that his father would be "handle him". I told the dentist to stop his exam and not to threaten my child. The dentist flipped up the tray with the exam supplies and threw an instrument against the wall. We left and called my husband who informed my son he would never be mad if he cried and that the dentist was wrong. We filed a report with the dental licensing board and found out he had numerous complaints and a drug problem. He is still in practice in Pa but now he has another dentist with him. I tell everyone not to go use that practice. IMAGINE IF MY SON WAS ALONE!
I didn't read the other posts, but just wanted to mention that pediatric dental offices are generally arranged as an "open area" with half walls surrounding each chair. I had no idea about this until my kids went. I have always accompanied mine, but understand why the dentist has their policy. I think you should find a different pediatric dentist. It's kind of like the doctor not letting you go back with your child when they need a check-up.
No way - I'd find another dentist asap. We have one in our city that shows fun Pixar and Disney movies during the cleanings - my son is 4 and has had 2 now...he barely notices what they are doing, he's so into the movie. No way though I'd be cool with them taking him back alone. That's crazy.
Recently there was a horror story on here about a dentist pulling a child's tooth without the mom's permission! Granted that child was older, but still!
In our dentist's office, it's a clear view from the waiting room to the dental chair. The doors are all glass and you can see the child's profile and a full view of the hygienist and dentist at all times. If the child asks for mom then they allow mom to come in. They're interested in causing the least amount of stress for the child.
What I would do is visit the office first and check out the layout and see if you can see everything from the waiting room.
I read your so what happened and I think you are being very smart!! I was just talking to a friend who was telling me about this at her dentist and I was like no way would I ever let someone who is a virtual stranger be alone with my child! So I am with you all the way, I would never do that either.